Triplets
by cinnamon twist101
Summary: Bella, Rosalie and Alice are triplets who are spending two weeks vacationing in Switzerland. What happens to Bella when she falls into the lap of the gorgeous Edward Cullen. A/H U/p. rated M for drug use and lemons
1. Chapter 1

**A/N. This is my first fanfict. Please feel free to review if you wish, all constructive criticism is appreciated. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

**DISCLAIMER: Twilight belongs to stephenie meyer.**

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**Chapter 1 Triplets…**

"Bella" Alice yelled out impatiently." Are you ready yet? You better be considering I've already packed your bags for you."

That was Alice, my sister one of my sisters I should say. I'm one of triplets, identical triplets I might add. Rosalie is my other sister, she was older than me by five minutes and older than Alice by ten. We all stood five foot nine and had the same long auburn hair, chocolate brown eyes and full lips. Our bodies though the same size had subtle differences.

Rosalie's body was fit, toned and athletic with killer abs due to the fact she was a sports junkie and extremely competitive. She was a Beauty Therapist, a job suited to her since she loved preening and pampering herself. Alice's body was petite, she had thin shapely legs hardly any hips and a small pert ass. She was unusually graceful her body moved with the fluid motions of a ballet dancer. Alice was a personal stylist to the _Stars_. Why I don't know they all sounded like pretentious Diva's to me, especially the men. She swore she loved it though.

Rather her than me I thought with a smile.

Which brings me back to myself, my body was a little curvier than my sisters. I had slightly more hips than Alice and my breasts were fuller than Rosalie's. I wasn't into fashion or sports I'm pretty unco at the best of times though after years of torturous practice I can snow board reasonably well, stopping gracefully has always eluded me though. My passion is photography, I never went anywhere without my camera, it was my baby.

I work for the United Nations. Personal Assistant to the Secretary of the 'International Developing Nations Initiative' a groups who's job it was to distribute monetary aid to assist developing nations in initiatives to help them become productive in the global market.

"Isabella Swan you have exactly thirty seconds to get your ass down those stairs. We're going to miss our flight." I laughed as Alice's irritated voice floated up the hallway. I grabbed my backpack and camera case off the bed and headed down the stairs to find the screeching pixie. She was standing by the front door next to Rose, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"Were you trying to miss the flight, Isabella?" Alice asked, her eyes narrowing in suspicion as she glared at me.

"I don't know what you're talking about Alice." I tried to look innocent. Every year Rose, Alice and I took a vacation somewhere in the world, last year was my choice, so it was Jamaica here we come. This year Rose has chosen snowboarding in Switzerland.

"Bella we're going to have a good time. It's snowboarding in Switzerland for fuck sake, you should be amping." Rose chided a maniacal gleam in her eyes.

"Bah. You know I hate the cold and the wet." I whined. "Snow is definitely both cold and wet, so definitely not my favourite thing." I retorted in a huff.

"But Bella think of the compensations. Hot ski instructors, hot tubs, alcohol to burn away the cold, hot clubs, hot guys and perfect scenery for you to take photos of…"

"Yeah I get the picture Rose; it'll be hot with perfect scenery." I said with a laugh as I followed her out the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N. I hope you enjoy Bella and Edwards introduction to the mile high club. This is the start of the fun and games.**

**DISCLAIMER: stephenie meyer owns twilight**

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**Chapter 2 Joining the mile high Club**

An hour later, we were seated in first class having a glass of champagne while waiting for our plane to gain clearance for take off. I looked around checking out the other passengers who were settled in their seats. I looked at the older man who was occupying the seat directly across the aisle from me. He sat with a young blond woman who was dripping in diamond jewellery. I looked at the ugly big rings on her fingers and thought 'ostentatious' to myself.

I was brought back from my musings by the seatbelt sign that flashed above my head. I clicked my belt across my lap, downed the rest of my champagne in one, passing my empty glass to the passing flight attendant. Flying made me nervous, even though I had done hundreds of times with my job. I felt my heart rate start to climb my breathing got faster and palms began to sweat.

"Relax Bella." I heard Alice say as she gave my hand a gentle squeeze.

"I know you think I'd be used to it by now." My eyes were squeezed shut as we ferried down the runway and began our assent.

"Breathe Bella." Rose whispered as leaned over Alice to pat my knee.

"I'm okay. I just need another drink." Then as if he'd read my thoughts the flight attendant was standing next to me asking what I'd like to drink. I looked up at him. I looked up at him, he was cute with his dark olive skin and pale grey eyes, and his French accent was a bit of a turn on to.

"Double scotch on the rocks thanks." I said with a smile. He was cute and I needed the distraction.

"Bella were you giving that flight attendant the eye." Alice teased and Rose snickered.

"No I wasn't." I growled, scowling over at them, my bottom lip pouting out. They broke into a fit of giggles at the look on my face and after a minute, I joined them.

"Here your drink Miss." I turned to see the cute attendant standing there with my scotch.

"Thanks." I said with a grateful smile. I took the glass and downed the scotch in one. The burning felt good going down my throat.

"Mmmmm that feels great." I closed my eyes as the burning hit my stomach. I needed another one of those fast. I stopped the cute attendant as he passed and asked him to bring me another two scotches and two glasses of champagne.

"Are you planning to get plastered on this flight?" Alice inquired as the attendant arrived with our drinks. I took my two glasses of scotch and placed them on my tray. I gestured to the attendant to give the champagne to Alice and Rose.

"Cheers." I saluted them before I downed both glasses of scotch one after the other, the burning liquid relaxed me quite a bit. It wasn't long before nature called. "Shit I need to go to the bathroom." I muttered to Alice, slurring my words a little.

I undid my seatbelt and stood up clutching the back of my seat to steady myself as I swayed dangerously. I felt affected by the alcohol and I wasn't sure how steady I would be on my feet. I looked down at the people sitting directly behind us.

A cute blond guy was somewhat wiry looking wearing a light green shirt and black jeans. He looked up at me and I noticed he had stunning blue eyes. He smiled at me and I looked away shyly, my eyes falling on the guy sitting next to him. He was gorgeous, no he was more than gorgeous he was beautiful, like a piece of living art.

His hair was the most unusual shade of coppery bronze I had ever seen and it was in messy disarray as if he'd been running his fingers through it repeatedly. Sex hair I thought to myself

Next to him was the biggest man I'd ever seen he was huge with curly brown hair that fell over his eyes.

I let go of my seat, took to small steps forward, and tripped. I started to fall when I felt an arm around my waist yanking me sideways. I had no control over where my body was going to fall; I just instinctively put my hands out in front of myself. My hands landed on the thighs of the beautiful guy with the bronze hair and my face fell forward into his crotch.

I leapt up my face beet red, stammering my apologies, as I moved swiftly down the aisle to the bathroom praying it wouldn't be occupied, thankfully it wasn't. I turned on the tap splashing cold water on my scarlet cheeks, "Stupid Blush." I muttered to myself. I turned to unlock the bathroom door it was about half way open when I realised there was someone blocking the doorway. I looked up it was the bronze haired God who's crotch I'd just fallen into.

"May I join you for a moment please?" His voice was smooth and velvety and he flashed me a beautiful smile that dazzled me. I was distracted and definitely not thinking clearly, when I opened the door wider and dragged him into the bathroom with me locking the door behind us. I instantly became hyper aware of how beautiful he was when we were crammed into that little space.

"I'm Edward." He cooed in that velvet voice that was as sweet as honey. I took a step backward and my back found the smooth metal wall sending a shiver down my spine.

"Bella." I stammered. I had become distracted as I stared into his face to find the most beautifully intense deep green eyes I had ever seen.

"Well Bella it seems you have given me a bit of a problem and I want you to fix it for me." He crooned in that velvet voice that had moisture instantly pooling in my panties.

"Oh. What problem would that be then?" I asked confused. He grabbed my hand and placed it on his crotch. The minute our hands connected, I felt a surge of electricity course through my body from the top of my head to the tip of my toes.

"Hmmm well you see Bella when your beautiful face fell into my lap it caused me to start having indecent thoughts about you and all the other indecent things your could be face could be doing in my lap."

If I wasn't so shocked by what he'd said I would have slapped his face in disgust. However, before my senses caught up with me he was pressing himself against me and my body was moulding to his shape.

Damn stupid traitorous body I thought as my nipples hardened and his lips crushed down on mine causing me to gasp. My hands moved straight to his hair as I wound my fingers through it pulling him closer to me.

I was praying no one was waiting out side the door because I wasn't going anywhere until Edward had fucked me good. Our kiss deepened and I sucked on his bottom lip before his tongue found mine and they began fighting for dominance.

My skin was over heated and my panties were soaking I was desperate to have him inside me. His hands slid down my waist and found the hem of my tight lace top. His warm hand slid under the fabric in search of my now hard nipples. He reached my bra and flicked one of my breasts out of the cup squeezing it roughly in his hand before rolling my nipple between his finger and thumb.

I moaned into his mouth as his hand moved to my other breast releasing it quickly from its confinement.

"Edward" I moaned into his mouth I was desperate for him to touch me where I needed it most.

"Yes Bella." He whispered in my ear before kissing and sucking on my neck.

"Fuck me Edward I need you inside me right now," I commanded. I was Surprised at my own confidence.

His hands slid out of my top down my waist along my thigh to my knee. He pulled my chiffon skirt around my hips and looped his finger round the edge of my white satin lace panties. I gasped as I felt the forceful tug on my panties and they ripped straight down the seams. The friction felt delicious as the silky, was yanked through my legs.

I watched as he stuffed my ruined panties in his jeans pocket. I was going to say something until he grabbed my calf and pulled my leg around his hip and plunged two fingers straight into my dripping pussy.

"Fuck Bella.. You're so wet..tight..warm..I can't wait to have my hard cock inside you." He growled into my neck as he bit and sucked my skin. His fingers were moving at a fast pace now and I was thrusting my hips to allow his fingers to slide deeper into my core.

I could feel my orgasm building in me and I moaned, "Edward I'm so..so..close.. I'm gonna cum." His thumb found my sex and he rubbed it furiously as I brought myself down harder on his fingers.

"Cum for me Bella" Edward whispered in my ear. It was all I needed to hear. My leg clamped around his waist, my hands balled into fists in his hair, and my inner muscles contracted around his furiously pumping fingers

"Fuck..God..motherfucker..shit Edward" I hissed in his ear as my orgasm rocked through me causing the one leg I had to support me to buckle. Edward tightened his grip on me before I fell and my head hit his chest as my breathing still came in gasps. He moved one hand to his jeans undoing his button and fly in seconds.

I pulled his jeans and boxes down to his knees. It's as far as I could get them down in my current position. It was enough for Edward. He picked up my leg that was on the ground and hooked it round his waist pushing my back against the cool metal wall.

He placed his throbbing erection at my wet entrance leaving it there for a moment before pushing it into me in one fluid movement.

"Fuck Bella you're so wet," Edward crooned in my ear as he began to thrust himself in and out of me slowly at first before speeding up and pounding his cock into me harder and harder.

"So tight Bella.. So wet" he panted as his thrust got faster.

I crushed my lips to his and moaned into his mouth. His pace was frenzied now as he pushed his huge cock deeper and deeper into me forcing my back into the cold metal wall.

"Fuck Bella I'm going to cum in you tight wet pussy." He moaned as he thrust even harder.

I felt his muscles tighten before his body exploded into a series of violent shudders as he held me close, panting into my neck as he thrust sporadically into me, making me whimper. He took several deep breaths before he slid out of me, giving me a quick kiss and telling me he was so glad to of met me, before straightening his jeans and leaving me breathless in the bathroom.

I looked at myself in the mirror I was a mess. My cheeks were flushed a deep crimson and I had a serious case of sex hair. I tried to smooth it down but it wouldn't go so I tied into a messy knot at the base of my neck. I straightened my skirt before I realised I didn't have any panties.

"Shit." I muttered as I popped my breasts back into my bra, opened the door, and made my way back to my seat.

I didn't dare look at Edward as passed I would die of mortification. I never asked strangers to fuck me on planes. I felt quite slutty.

"Are you ok?" Alice looked at me with concern. I just nodded and pulled my iPod from my bag putting the phones in my ears and turning up OP Shop as loud as I could handle.

I closed my eyes and let the music calm me down and soon I drifted off to sleep. The next thing I know Alice is shaking me awake and pointing to the seatbelt sign. I clicked my belt into place and turned off my iPod. The plane landed a few minutes later.

Rose went to stand up but I hissed at her to sit down. I was not leaving this plane until all the other passengers in first class and business class had disembarked.

"What's your problem Bella?" Alice whispered. I could tell she thought I was either severely drunk or mentally retarded.

"I just need a minute if that's ok." I snapped I instantly felt guilty for being mean to Alice; she was so sensitive.

When I was sure the first class and business class seats were, empty I stood up and made my way to the exit. I never saw Edward anywhere in the airport. Well at least I had a good first memory of my holiday.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Mistaken Identity.**

An hour later, we arrived at the chalet we had rented. It looked picture perfect. I smiled as I grabbed my camera off the back seat and started taking random photos of the things around me. I turned to look down the driveway there was another chalet across the street with a silver Volvo and a SUV parked in the drive. There were no other houses around.

I clicked a few more shots before I grabbed my pack and followed Alice and Rose inside.

I headed up the staircase in search of a bedroom. I passed the first four doors in the hallway heading to the one at the end. I threw open the door and smiled at my choice. It was a beautiful room fill of antique furniture and a colossal bed a fireplace sat against the opposite wall a lamb's wool rug adorning the floor in front of the hearth.

I threw my pack and camera on the bed and went over to light the fire that was already set in the grate. The dry tinder ignited quickly filling the room with a soft warm light.

Grabbing my toilet bag I headed for my en suite, I needed a shower. Rose wanted to head out to a bar tonight. I wanted to stay home and think about Edward, but I stopped myself straight away.

No, I will not be spending any time thinking of the stranger I asked to fuck me in an aeroplane bathroom.

When I stepped into my en suite the first thing I noticed was the huge sunken tub in the corner of the room. I would definitely be trying that bath out but not tonight. The hot water of the shower soothed my muscles and nerves, I felt good as I washed my hair and body with my favourite cinnamon scented bath products.

I stepped out of the shower wrapping a towel firmly around me and made my way out to the fireplace. I wasn't surprised to see Alice sitting on my bed.

"Here's your outfit for tonight and don't complain" she said, as I eyed my red suede 'Come Fuck Me Boots' sitting on the floor below a black merino wool sweater dress and sexy lingerie that Alice insisted I wear.

I didn't bother moaning because I knew it wouldn't get me far so I dressed quickly threw my hair up in a messy knot at the top of my head coated my lashes with mascara and covered my lips in the come fuck me red lipstick Alice insisted I wear.

An hour later we were sitting by the fire in a crowded bar. Alice had gone off to get drinks but she was taking forever so Rose suggested we go find her.

"Sure let's go, oh I just need to go to the bathroom I'll meet you by the bar," I said as we left the table.

As I passed by the packed bar I looked through the crowd I noticed Alice kissing a tall guy wearing black jeans and a white button down shirt with the sleeves rolled back to the forearms.

Shock glued me to the spot when I noticed the guy's bronze coppery hair.

I watched as he pulled away a confused look on his face. I smiled, his confusion deepened when Rosalie appeared next to Alice looking like a reflection in a mirror. He leaned towards Rosalie, his lips swiftly meeting hers. After a few seconds, he pulled away, looking even more confused.

I laughed and decided I better go and enlighten him to the fact I'm on of three.

I sidled up behind him my arms encircling his waist. As soon as I touched him, my body was on fire every cell hummed with electricity, moisture pooled in my panties.

I felt the jolt run through him at my touch; I smiled knowing I affected him as much as he affected me.

"I see you've met my sisters." I whispered in his ear. He spun around in my arms to face me his beautiful emerald eyes wide with shock.

I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him with reckless abandon. The second my lips touched his, electricity began to flow through us. I only broke the kiss when I felt Alice tugging on my arm.

"It's definitely you this time Bella." He chuckled as I released him from my hug and turned to face my sisters. His arm snaked around my waist and he pulled me closer to him.

"Would someone please tell us what the hell is going on?" Alice hissed as her face went from confused to indignant.

"Alice, Rosalie this is Edward. I met him on the plane earlier today." I said as my face turned a brilliant shade of red.

"You didn't tell us you met anyone on the plane." Alice accused. I could tell she was seriously pissed off.

"Listen Alice I'll tell you later I promise can you just drop it for now." I hissed at her. Before she could answer, a booming voice sounded in my ear making me jump.

"Well hello beautiful what's your name." It was the huge guy sitting next to Edward on the plane. I didn't answer I just went even redder remembering our last embarrassing encounter.

"Emmett this is Bella." Edward introduced us. I saw recognition flicker in his eyes, as he looked at me closer. I hoped like hell Edward hadn't told him who I was.

"Bella from first class?" Emmett asked his eyes widening. Oh, fuck he did tell them fucking prick.

"The very same one." Edward answered with a smirk.

"Sorry Bella." Emmett cooed. "I didn't recognise you, but that's probably because when I saw you last your face was buried in my brother's crotch." He laughed his booming laugh and I heard Alice's gasp.

"Fuck you Emmett." I replied and I flipped him the finger. God I don't know what's got into me, I never act like this.

Emmett was about to say something but he stopped, his eyes widening in surprise, as he spotted Alice and Rosalie standing there like my cloned doubles.

"Fuck Eddie you didn't tell me there were three of them." Emmett whined petulantly.

"I didn't fucken know." Edward retorted. I decided to step in and introduce my slightly stunned sisters.

"Edward, Emmett as you have probably guessed these are my sisters, Alice and Rosalie or Rose as she prefers."

"It's nice to meet you Alice, Rose," Edward smiled before adding, "I'm sorry about kissing you both like that, a case of mistaken identity it seems." He chuckled making the rest of us laugh.

Just then, the gorgeous blond guy who was sitting with Edward and Emmett on the plane walked over to join us looking from me to Alice to Rose with an amused look on his face.

"Well hello there Bella times three." Jasper drawled. Obviously, he knew all about our bathroom antics as well. Damn Edward had a big mouth.

"Jasper this is Bella as you know and her sisters Alice and Rosalie." Edward introduced us with a smirk on his face.

"Well it's lovely to formally meet you Bella and of course your lovely sisters as well." Jaspers eyes lingered on Alice as he spoke.

"Drinks" Emmett shouted his booming voice making me jump slightly, "What are you having Ladies?"

"I'll have an Ice Cold Fuck in the Snow" Rose said winking suggestively before adding "How about you Alice, Bella?" she asked with a devious smile I knew only to well.

"Sure why not" Alice agreed while I just nodded.

I was feeling really embarrassed about what happened with Edward in the plane, well not so much about what happened more the fact that he told his brothers about it. I tried reasoning with myself that I was on holiday; I should be having a good time.

I'll worry about the repercussions of my actions when I get back to New York.

"Let's go back to our table," Rose suggested as she turned and stalked towards our table. Alice and Jasper followed quickly I walked slower not trusting myself in my shoes.

Edward slipped his arm around my waist pulling me closer as he whispered in my ear. "I like your come fuck me boots." I sighed deeply, shit he does think I'm a slut. I could still feel the wetness beginning to pool in my panties. Fuck, stupid traitor body I inwardly cursed myself.

We reached the table by the fireplace; Edward pulled me down onto the soft leather couch keeping his arm around my waist. Alice didn't even bother sitting.

"Bella can you please come to the ladies room with me? I need some help with my dress." Not bothering to hide the burning curiosity in her voice.

"Sure Alice" I knew it would be better to just get this interrogation over before Alice exploded.

I stood up and followed her through the crowded bar to the bathroom. The second the door was shut and she checked there was no one else present she pounced.

"Spill it Bella and don't bother lying or omitting any details because I'll know," she spat through clenched teeth.

"There's nothing to tell really. When I was going to the toilet on the plane I tripped and fell into Edward's lap we sort of hit it off talking, you know we kissed in the toilet, I didn't tell you I met him because I didn't think I'd ever see him again." I waited for the screech but it didn't come.

Surely, I wasn't going to get off that easily. I had never been able to lie to Alice.

"Bella I know you're omitting details and be sure we will be discussing this later, Edward's brother Jasper is pretty hot. I wonder if he has a girlfriend or a wife." Alice mused. I didn't see a ring but that doesn't mean anything.

"I don't know I wonder if Edward has." Fuck it I'll worry about that later. I followed Alice as she headed back across the noisy bar to our table.

I went to sit with Edward, his face broke into a breath-taking smile when he saw me and his arm slipped around my waist, it made my heart flutter. The man was truly beautiful.

"Here you go Bella, Alice," Emmett passed us our drinks "Enjoy your Ice Cold Fucks." He smirked wagging his eyebrows.

The first drink went down fast and so did the second and third before I knew it, I was on my sixth and feeling drunk.

"Let's dance." Edward said pulling me from the couch. I swayed and his arms encircled my waist holding me steady.

Out on the dance floor he pulled me close to him, grinding his pelvis into me. I could feel his erection straining against his jeans I was so turned on by just being close to Edward and I felt my wetness soaking through my panties.

I groaned pressing myself harder against him; I just couldn't get close enough, as he brought his lips to mine in a searing kiss. My hands moved straight to his hair tugging it gently. Electric sparks shot through my body as our tongues fought for dominance.

Breaking the kiss, he buried his face in my neck kissing, sucking and nipping my smooth skin causing me to shiver in pleasure.

"Bella you are so beautiful, can you feel what you do to me when I'm around you?" He growled as he ground his erection into my stomach, "I haven't stopped thinking about you since I fucked you on the plane; it's been driving me insane."

I sighed in response. I wanted him to fuck me right here on the dance floor and I didn't care who was watching.

"Let's go back to my place," I whispered. I was desperate to have his cock inside me again; grabbing my hand, he dragged me back to our table.

"Finish you drink's we're leaving. If you're not at the Volvo in five minutes we're leaving without you." Edward addressed the table.

He pulled me through the crowd, reaching the exit in seconds. We hit the cool air of the car park and my head spun a little from the change in temperature, I gulped in large a lungful of cold air as he pulled toward a lone car parked in the shadows, it was a silver Volvo.

He leaned me against the passenger door crushing his body to mine as kissed me recklessly. His hands slid over my hips to the hem of my dress before disappearing under the thin fabric, moving slowly up my thighs until he reached the tops of my lace thigh highs and the clips of the garter.

"Fuck Bella what are you wearing?" He moaned into my mouth.

His hands slid further up my thighs coming to rest at the lace edge of my panties. He rubbed his palm over my mound causing a delicious friction on my sensitive skin; moisture was dripping into my already soaking panties.

"Oh god Bella you're so wet," he moaned into my mouth as his fingers delved beneath the satin sliding along my silky slit before slipping into my dripping core.

"Mmmm Edward" I groaned as I pushed down onto his fingers burying them deeper inside me. He began pumping his strong fingers in and out of me at a fast pace his thumb sort my clit, working it in slow circles making me shiver in pleasure.

I could feel my orgasm fast approaching and I moaned, "Faster Edward…please I'm gonna cum" I was kissing him and pulling his hair roughly as his fingers worked me frantically.

"Fuck Bella I can't wait to fuck you" he growled in my ear and tipping me over the edge

"Fuck..Shit..Oh my god..Ed..ward" I screamed into the night as my orgasm crashed over me causing Edward to chuckle as he continued to tease my clit making my knees tremble. He kissed me again before withdrawing his fingers from me and straightening my dress.

I was lost in a blissful oblivion and never heard the others approach the car. I Emmett's booming voice that brought me back to reality

"Bloody hell Bella you're a noisy one I'm sure they heard you all the way in Vienna" Emmett smirked as he reached us.

"Fuck off Emmett" I said as I got in the car giving Edward directions to our chalet.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I will try to update this story every thursday and friday with an additional chapter on sunday's. Feel free to review if you wish all constructive criticism appreciated.**

**DISCLAIMER: S. MEYER OWNS TWILIGHT.**

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** Neighbours.**

Edward pulled the Volvo into our driveway; he was wearing a smirk on his face as if he knew something I didn't. Before I could pondered what that might be, Emmett answered my question.

"Fuck, you girls are our neighbours"

"What?" Rose, Alice and I all said at the same time before cracking up laughing.

"We're staying in the chalet across the road." Emmett boomed before adding "Excellent."

"YAY" Alice sung." We'll be able to hang out together," she looked as pleased as Edward did.

This was certainly turning out to be a much more interesting holiday than I was expecting. Rose got one-thing right definitely hot guy's, I thought with a smirk. I turned to Edward sitting in the driver's seat and crushed my lips to his.

I hadn't even noticed that we were alone in the car until I heard Alice's shrill voice calling out from the doorway of the chalet "Bella hurry up it's freezing out here," to be honest I hadn't noticed.

Edward and I were creating enough body heat to accelerate global warming.

I broke away from our kiss. "Let's go before Alice gets her G string in a knot." As I opened the door, a blast of glacial air rushed through the car making me shiver.

Edward was at my side in seconds sliding his arm around my waist pulling me close, as he led me to the chalet.

Warm air assaulted me as we walked through the door; I shivered from the sudden temperature change. Edward began pulling me towards the voices in the lounge. As we passed the staircase, I yanked his arm causing him to change direction; I winked at him when he looked at me in surprise.

"Alice I'm just going to grab my camera." I yelled over my shoulder as I pulled Edward up the stairs.

Once in my room, I quickly crossed to the fireplace throwing a couple of logs onto the smouldering embers. The dry tinder ignited at once filling the room with flickering light causing shadows to dance over the pale walls.

I felt Edward behind me, his hands grabbing my hips pulling me back against him, his chin rested on my shoulder. I turned in his arms placing a searing kiss on his lips my hands automatically entwining in his hair. God he was so beautiful, I would be happy to spend the next two weeks locked up in this room with him.

His hands slid down my hips along my thighs before coming to rest at the hem of my dress, hooking the material in his fingers, he lifted it over my head, leaving me standing clad in my lace bra, panties garters, hosiery and red suede boots. He took a step back from me his eyes raking over my body.

"My god Bella you are so beautiful," Edward crooned as he brought his lips back to mine; his tongue ran along my bottom lip before gently probing my mouth.

I made quick work of his clothes pushing his jeans and boxers to the floor in one fluid motion, allowing his erection to spring forth. I lifted my leg about to pull off my boot when Edwards hand stopped me.

"Allow me" he whispered his velvety voice low and husky.

He dropped to his knees gently lifting my leg and sliding the boot from my foot, he placed a kiss on my foot before lowering back to the ground. After sliding the boot from my other foot, he unclipped my garters rolling of my hosieries and slipping of my panties before returning my boots to my feet.

I looked at him puzzled. "What are you doing?" I giggled as I knotted my fingers in his hair.

"Bella those boots just scream out 'come fuck me' so that's what I'm going to do, I'm going to fuck you in those come fuck me boots."

I moaned as I felt the wetness pool between my legs. I was so turned on I didn't even jump in surprise when he grabbed my hips pulling my hairless pussy to his face. I spread my legs wider for him allowing his tongue better access to my throbbing clit. I buried my hands into his bronze hair guiding him to where I wanted him most.

His finger ran over my folds as his tongue worked my swollen bud.

He slipped two fingers into my dripping core pumping them gently, "Bella you're so wet for me." He moaned into my sex his hot breath tickling my over sensitive bud causing me to squirm.

His fingers began to pump in a fast steady rhythm. I could feel my orgasm building "God Edward this feels so good, I'm so close."

He groaned again as his pace became frenzied his fingers pumping deeper into me while his tongue worked my aching bud.

"Oh shit Edward so fucking good." I moaned as my orgasm washed over me leaving me panting as I tried to gasp air into my lungs.

He removed his fingers from me; his hands moving to my waist as my knees gave out, he held me close. His lips crashed to mine our tongues doing an erotic dance to as his hands slid up my back to unhook my bra.

He tugged it roughly from my shoulders allowing my full breasts to bounce free.

"I can't believe how beautiful you are Bella you have the body of a Goddess," he crooned as he took a nipple between his lips licking, sucking and nipping it until it was a hard peak.

I moaned as his tongue licked across the crevice between my breasts to my other nipple taking it roughly in his mouth.

"Edward" I hissed as my mouth attacked his neck sucking and biting until I had left a faint red mark on his pale skin.

"Yes Bella" he murmured his warm breath tickling my overly sensitive nipple.

"I need to feel you inside me now." I commanded causing a low growl to escape his throat.

At that moment I lost all my inhibitions, I didn't care that I sounded like and was behaving like a slut, all I cared about was having Edward's huge cock pounding me as hard and fast as he could.

"On your hands and knees Bella" Edward voice was low husky and commanding, it sent shiver straight down my spine.

I quickly spun around allowing my fingers to sink into the luxurious lamb's wool rug that covered the floor in front of the fireplace.

"Mmmm.. Bella you look so sexy in the firelight your skin is the colour of fresh cream," Edward whispered as he moved up behind me placing the tip of his rock hard erection at my dripping entrance, he slid his tip along my slit touching my over sensitive clit.

"Edward…please stop teasing me," I whimpered.

Chuckling at the sound of my pleas, he slid effortlessly into my aching core. I moaned as I pushed myself back against him. He slowly withdrew from me before plunging back into my depths.

Gradually he quickened his tempo "Bella. so beautiful..so wet for me, I'm gonna fuck your hot tight pussy so hard baby" he panted as he thrust into me, his fingers digging into my hips.

I collapsed onto my forearms as I pushed back meeting every one of his thrusts driving him harder into me.

"Harder..Edward..I want you to fuck me harder," I panted as my head fell forward and my fingers curled tightly around the tufts of the lamb's wool rug.

"Fuck Bella you'll be the death of me." He grunted as he firmed his grip on my hips and thrust into me violently causing me to call out his name.

I could feel the tightening in my lower stomach as my orgasm rapidly approached.

"That's right Bella I want you to scream my name as you cum, tell me I'm the one making you feel like this."

"Ed..ward.. so.. close.. I want you. to make me cum." He increased his tempo; it was frenzied now as he grunted

"Cum for me Bella, scream my name." He crooned, not slowing his manic pace. That's all I needed to hear, my back arched as my forehead buried into the rug.

"Oh..fuck Ed..ward..that's so good," I screamed as my inner muscles contracted around Edwards cock and my body shuddered violently.

"Fuck..oh..fuck Bella..fuck..so..tight..so..wet" he grunted, with a last heaving thrust his orgasm met mine with such intensity that stars burst forth before my eyes, my breath was coming in heaving gasps and was I was panting his name every time I could catch my breath.

"Bella" he cooed as he withdrew from me "You are the most incredible woman I have ever met."

"Edward you don't know a thing about me," I giggled as I collapsed onto the rug flipping over so I could look up at him kneeling above me.

"I know, but I'm planning to get to know every thing about you Bella." He cooed as he lay down beside me pulling me to his chest, laying his face on top of my head, and inhaling deeply, "Mmmm Bella you smell so good." Edward murmured his hot breath saturating the strands of my hair.

I giggled as I reached over to retrieve my dress, slipping it over my mostly naked body, while Edward threw his shirt over his head.

"Bella, how am I supposed to behave myself in front of your sister's knowing your wearing no bra or panties under your dress." His honey sweet voice melted over me causing my nipples to harden under my dress.

"I'm sure you'll cope." I laughed as I moved to the bed to grab my camera. Edward was zipping his fly when I turned and trained the lens on him.

"Bella" He smile shyly as his hand went from his fly to his hair, dragging his through the bronze strands causing it to stick out at all angles in a coppery mess.

Perfect sex hair, I grinned at the thought, my finger pressing down firmly on the button allowing the shutter of my camera to click continuously. The firelight gave off a beautiful soft light, I knew in an instant that these would be absolutely stunning photo's.

"Ok Bella enough with the photo's already, don't you think we should go down stairs before Alice sends up a search party." He grabbed my hand leading me back to the staircase.

When we reached the lounge, Alice and Jasper were nowhere to be seen. Emmett and Rose were making out on one of the soft leather couches.

"Don't mind us." I said as I grabbed the bottle of red wine off the table, pouring a glass for Edward and myself.

"Hi Bella" Emmett's voice boomed over the Guns 'n' Roses that was blaring from the stereo.

"Hey Emmett" I giggled as he looked me over with an appraising look that made a deep blush creep up over my face.

"Well Bella, I'm pretty sure the whole of Switzerland and half of France heard you this time." His boisterous laugh rumbled around the room. I flipped him the finger, passing Edward his glass of wine. "Where's Alice?"

"Off doing dirty things with Jasper I'd imagine, just like you and Edward have been doing." Rose smirked as Emmett sucked on her neck. picking up my camera and started snapping candid photos of Rose and Emmett making out on the couch.

"Cut it out Bells." Rose growled as her hands roamed all over Emmett's naked chest.

"Aw come on Rosie you need some interesting holiday snaps." I goaded as I kept the camera clicking on rapid fire.

"Yeah but I doubt James and Victoria would want to see holiday photo's of their half naked daughter having the skin between her breasts licked by a stranger." Edward and Emmett both laughed heartily at that statement but I cringed at the mental picture of James and Victoria's faces if they did indeed see these photos.

"It's not my fault your half naked with a stranger Rose." I chided smirking over at her.

"Well Bella it is actually your fault, if you hadn't suddenly turned into a dirty little slut who fucks strange men in aeroplane toilets I would never of met Emmett." She retorted with a smug smile on her full lips. That wiped the smirk off my face so I flipped her the finger.

I turned my camera on Alice and Jasper as they entered clicking off a couple of shots as they made their way to one of the leather couches. I was sitting between Edwards legs on the floor, he was busy sucking and nibbling my neck

"Bella," Alice smiled sweetly and I was suddenly nervous at what was coming next "You and Edward seem far better acquainted than you led me to believe earlier tonight. Would you like to tell Rose and I exactly when you had a complete personality transplant and went from little miss goody two shoes to dirty little minx who fucks stranger in aeroplane bathrooms and public car parks? No offense Edward you seem like a really nice guy but this kind of behaviour is not normal for Bella even if she is drunk." Alice smirked as she pressed herself closer into Jaspers chest.

Rose snorted as she threw her dress back over her head "Come on Emmett it's a little crowded in here," she purred as she dragged him from the room.

"Spill it right now Bella." Alice hissed the second Rose and Emmett left the room.

"Like I said Alice I met Edward outside the bathroom on the plane." I stammered, totally embarrassed, I was silently cursing that demon pixie.

"And then you fucked, right?"

"Alice" I hissed giving her a death stare as Edward and Jasper snickered. I elbowed Edward in the ribs and he abruptly shut up.

"Well am I right?" she demanded. I could tell she was not going to give in without an answer, she never does.

Therefore, with a sigh I answered her bloody nosy question "Yes Alice we fucked in the bathroom on the plane, are you happy now?" I felt like sinking into the shag pile carpet.

I took a large mouthful of wine closing my eyes and savouring the taste as it slid down my throat.

"Yes and no, yes I am happy that you finally did something wild and crazy and no because you should of told me straight away. Edward told his brothers" she smirked over at him, while I glared.

"I'm sorry Alice but I don't like to fuck and tell" I threw that bit in for Edwards benefit, " the next time I have sex you'll be the first to know" I retorted in exasperation.

"Good" Alice grinned at me before turning to kiss Jasper.

I grabbed my camera and snapped half a dozen photos of them before placing the camera on the floor and leaning back to kiss Edward's cheek.

"Tired yet?" He whispered as he sucked on my earlobe.

Yeah I am," I giggled as I pressed myself harder against his body. I had just picked up my glass to finish my wine when I heard Rosalie's screams of pleasure clearly over the pounding music.

"Sounds like you not the only one practising her scales tonight" Alice giggled and Jasper joined in.

I flipped Alice the finger, "Let's go to bed Edward," I stood up bringing my camera to my face I took a dozen photos of Jasper and Alice making out on the couch.

"Bella" Alice hissed as the flash went off repeatedly.

"Come on Alice you need some holiday snaps" I laughed at her obvious discomfort before adding, "James and Victoria will want to see how you've been spending your holiday."

"Good night you two don't do anything we wouldn't do." I chortled as I pulled Edward to the door. We heard Emmett's wild grunts as we passed by Rose's room and we laughed with each other as we tiptoed passed.


	5. Better Learn the Basics

**A/N: Thank you for reviewing me and adding me to your Alerts. I'm posting this chapter early because it's pretty light weight, but I thought Bella and Edward needed to get know at least a little bit about each other considering they have already engaged it some rather intimate behaviour, and I really want to get into the next few chapters where the fun and games really begin. **

**DISCLAIMER: Unless you've been living under a rock I don't own twilight that is the property of stephenie meyer.(But I love that I can play havoc with them)**

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**Chapter 5: Better, Learn the Basics .**

Once we were in my room Edward added two big logs to the smouldering embers burning in the grate, the dry tinder ignited at once causing a flickering light to cast shadows on the pale walls, before he jumped onto my enormous bed.

After placing my camera on the bedside table, I headed for the bathroom turning the shower on before slipping the merino sheath over my head.

I felt Edwards large smooth hands glide down my waist over my hips down my thighs to my lacy garters snapping my stockings loose.

He fell to his knees, lifting one of my legs gently slipping off my boot before rolling my stocking down my calf and sliding it off my toes. My fingers were entwined in his hair. I marvelled at how the light made his coppery hair shimmer. Edward kissed a trail along my stomach before removing my other boot.

Placing my foot gently back on the ground his hands wandered to my hips he pulled me towards him and placed open mouth kisses all over my stomach. I giggled and squirmed out of his grip, I was super ticklish; I stepped into the steamy water before I could give myself away.

I had barely put my head under the water when Edward slipped in behind me; I pushed my back into his chest. He moved the hair from my neck so he could kiss, nibble and suck the exposed skin. I turned in his arms, keeping contact with his body, the friction of our slick skin was delicious.

Reaching behind me Edward grabbed the bottle of my favourite cinnamon shampoo he squirted a generous amount into my hair before his fingers expertly massaged it into my scalp.

"Oh god that feels so good," I moaned as my scalp tingled under his touch.

He pushed me gently under the water allowing it to rinse my hair clean, before grabbed the sponge and my cinnamon scented body wash.

Squirting a generous amount on the sponge, he began washing me, starting at my collarbone he swept the sponge along my chest to the tip of my shoulder. Moving the sponge to my breast, he circled over each one slowly, lovingly, pausing to watch the bubbles slide smoothly down my pale skin before they joined the water pooling at our feet.

He resumed his sponging, moving down over my stomach to the top of my thighs before dipping the sponge between my slightly spread legs washing me gently before moving down one leg and up the other.

It was so erotic to have Edward clean me with such adoring detail. He turned me gently beginning the process on my back, when he reached my ass he washed each cheek tenderly before dipping the sponge back between my legs causing a soft moan fall from my lips.

When he'd finished washing me, I kissed him softly and whispered my thanks as I stepped from the shower reaching for a fluffy cream towel from the shelf. I wrapped it firmly around me, blew Edward a kiss and headed for the roaring fire in my room. I let my towel fall to the ground allowing the radiating heat to dry and warm my skin, before I slipped between the toasty covers of my bed.

I grabbed my camera from the bedside table waiting for Edward to make an appearance.

I snapped off six shots as he came through the door, his towel casually draped around his waist silver droplets of water glistening on his chest, bronze sex hair standing to perfection, a gorgeous crooked smile playing on his lips.

"Bella" he chided, "I'm not really into having my photo taken."

"I can't imagine why not, you're incredibly photogenic you could be a model." Smiling I patted the empty space in the bed next to me.

"Hmm I'd actually like to be your personal bed warmer," he laughed as he took a flying leap landing on the bed next to me losing his towel in the process and scrambling to join me under the covers.

"Well if you're interviewing for the job Edward Cullen I guess we should at least learn the basic facts about each other, so what is it you do for a living?" I teased, though I was extremely curious.

"I run a company Cullen Enterprises with Emmett and Jasper which we founded after we graduated from university."

"What is it that Cullen Enterprises does?" I was surprised he ran a company I pictured him like a Doctor that healed sick kids or something. Boy was I way off the mark.

"A diverse range of businesses for example movie production, pharmaceutical research, property development among other things" he stated simply shrugging his shoulders, as if it was no big deal, "What about you Bella, what is that you do for a job? No wait let me guess."

He stroked his chin as he considered his choices, "Hmm let me see, a teacher, Mmm maybe not, journalist nah that doesn't sound right, no wait I've got it, wedding photographer." He said as his gaze fell to my camera smirking at me hopefully.

"Not even close" I scoffed rolling my eyes at him.

"Well please feel free to enlighten me at any time Bella" he said with a trace of sarcasm, which made me laugh.

"I'm a P.A. to the Secretary of the United Nation's International Development Initiative Group," I laughed at myself as I did anytime I told people what I did for a job.

"Oh, ok I wasn't expecting that" I laughed at the look on his face and after a moment he joined in, "where are you based?" he asked when he had controlled his laughter.

"New York" I replied nonchantantly.

"Hmm, me to" he looked thoughtful for a moment before adding "Maybe it will be easier to be your personal bed warmer than I first thought."

He chuckled, as the blush covered my cheeks, pulling me closer to himself placing a gentle kiss on my lips. I sighed as my lips parted and our tongues met dancing and swirling together. He broke the kiss, wrapping his arms firmly around me.

"Good night Bella, sleep well." He whispered into my hair. I felt so content lying in Edward's arms more content than I had ever felt in anybody's arms, I drifted off into a peaceful sleep.


	6. A taste of what's to come

**A/N: The next few chapters are a bit of a whirl wind, drugs, alcohol and sex all the things we love. I hope you enjoy.. **

**DICLAIMER: I don't own twilight, Stephenie meyer does.**

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**CHAPTER 6: A Taste of what's to Come**

I awoke to a hyperactive Alice leaping on the bed, yelling wake up Bella we want to hit the slopes.

"Fuck Alice did you have a line of speed for breakfast" I growled as I eyed her sleepily. I looked over at Edward who was watching me with a funny expression on his face.

"Two lines" Alice said with a guilty look on her face.

"Fuck Alice who gave you that?" I asked even though I knew the answer.

"Jasper and he's got lines for you so get your lazy ass out of bed and meet me in the kitchen." She leapt off the bed and danced gracefully from the room.

"Jasper has no idea what he's unleashed today and he can deal with it." I laughed looking at Edward who was still watching me.

"Bella do you use drugs?" His green eyes bore into my brown ones as he awaited my answer.

"Occasionally when the need arises you know new years eve, weddings and wild parties" I suddenly felt extremely embarrassed so I asked "how about you, do you use drugs?"

"Hmm yes I'm the same I use them recreationally when I feel the urge."

"So what are we waiting for let's get down there before Rose the nose beats us to it." I leapt out of bed pulled on some sweatpants and a jersey clicking my tongue impatiently as I waited for Edward to dress.

As he pulled his hoodie over his head I was dragging him out the door, he fumbled around trying to put his arms through his sleeves.

When we entered, the kitchen Alice was straddling Jasper's lap, they were ignoring us as they kissed and caressed each other's bodies. I decided not to hassle them since I'd been caught having sex in public the night before. Instead, I headed for the kitchen counter where a mirror lay with about ten lines of meth and a rolled up hundred dollar bill.

I grabbed the money placing one end up my nostril snorting a line before swapping nostrils and doing it again. I passed the bill to Edward and moved aside from the mirror.

Closing my eyes, I allowed the burn in my nasal cavities to subside. I felt the ice trickle through my sinuses before dripping down the back of my throat.

"Thanks for the lines Jasper and by the way the Demon pixie is your responsibility until she comes down and is normal again. And I should warn you too Jasper, begging won't work on me and believe me you will be begging for my help. She is one hundred percent your responsibility."

Alice tried to look outraged but with pupils as wide as saucers, she just looked demonic.

Rose entered the kitchen, followed closely by Emmett, took one look at the mirror and yelled "Fuck yeah party time, nothing like a little meth to amp you up before hitting the slopes." Emmett laughed as she grabbed the money from the mirror and did two lines up each nostril.

"Bloody hell Rose save some for Emmett" I chided before dragging Edward out of the kitchen and back to my room.

I could feel the effects of the meth already, my heart was beginning to beat faster and I could feel the rush starting to flow through my veins.

I loved having sex while high on meth, I'd only done it a couple of times but there was nothing better than losing your inhibitions and increasing your stamina.

Edward shut the bedroom door behind us, I spun around and crushed my body against his tugging at his sweater and shirt. I had them off in seconds and was beginning work on his jeans and boxer shorts pulling them roughly to the ground. He kicked off his jeans as my hands tried to roamed over his taut body, I was finding that difficult due to the fact he was trying to yank my jersey over my head , finally succeeding he pulled me into his naked embrace kissing me fiercely biting and sucking my lower lip.

My hand slipped down to grab his swollen cock.

He moaned into my mouth as I pumped his cock hard and fast, his hand was sliding over my breast tweaking the nipple hard before moving to the next. I pumped him harder as I lifted one leg and braced it against the wall

. His fingers slipped down to my folds before plunging into my wet core pumping them gently at first before picking up his pace to match mine, I moaned in response letting my eyes roll back in my head.

"You like it when I fuck you with my fingers don't you Bella?" he purred in my ear, has his fingers pumped faster and his thumb rubbed my clit "I can tell by how wet you are for me, do you want me to fuck you harder Isabella?"

"Fuck yes Edward I want you to fuck me harder." My heart was crashing in my chest, my whole body felt alive, every cell was yearning for him thrumming and pulsing with electricity from his touch.

His pace became frantic and before I could catch my breath, my climax was rushing over me causing my supporting leg to buckle; Edward caught me before I hit the floor. "Bella are you ok?"

"Yes Edward now I want you to fuck me." Growling he pushed me against the door I shivered as the cold wall pressed against my breasts. His knee spread my legs apart and he grabbed his cock and stroked it a couple of times before he slid it over my dripping entrance.

I sighed in frustration "Edward if you don't fuck me now …" I trailed off and he laughed as he plunged into me forcing me harder against the door. He thrust slowly teasingly, I pushed back against him desperate for him to fuck me hard and fast.

"Edward" I whined, I was getting seriously frustrated. "Yes Bella?" I could hear the smile in his voice.

"If you don't fuck me how I want to be fucked I'll go and ask Emmett or Jasper to do it," I taunted, if he wanted to play games then bring it on.

"Fuck Bella" he growled as he thrust into me harder burying himself to the hilt his hipbones crushing into me.

"Finally Edward" I moaned as he pounded me harder and harder against the wall.

"Is this how you like it Bella?" He panted as he drove his throbbing cock into my wetness.

"Yes Edward, I love it hard, fast and rough," I hissed through my clenched jaw.

"Fuck Bella you're going to be the death of me," Edward grunted as his pace became frenzied, I slid my finger to my clit and rubbed furiously bringing my orgasm rushing over me.

"Fuck Edward I love the feeling of you're cock pounding into me," I gasped as my muscles clamped around his cock and my juices engulfed him.

"Fuck..shit..Bella..so..sexy..so..dirty..so..good..beautiful.." Edward was rambling incoherently as he took a final thrust, his fingers gripping my hips tightly holding me in place as his orgasm rocked through his body. He collapsed against me pressing his chest into my back.

"Bella that was unbelievable" He panted in my hair before inhaling deeply. I was just about to answer when there was a loud banging on the door followed by the shrill voice of the demonic pixie.

"Bella if you aren't ready to go in ten minutes I'm going to have Emmett break down your door and drag you're sorry ass to the car, do you hear me Bella?"

"Yes pixie I'm pretty sure even bats can hear you now go away and share you're love with some other poor soul and let me get organised" Edward laughed as he retrieved his clothes from the floor. "What are you doing?" I huffed as Edward swiftly dressed.

"I need to go get organised I wouldn't want to be responsible for any damage the demon pixie might inflict on persons or property if we're late." I nodded in agreement. He kissed me swiftly as he exited the room.


	7. Snow and Ice

**A/N: Thank you to those who took the time to review me, I appreciate that. I hope you enjoy this shower scene.**

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT, STEPHENIE MEYER DOES..**

**CHAPTER 7: Snow and Ice**

Alice was waiting for me when I got out of the shower she pointed to my black ski suit on the bed.

"Bella" she growled as she rifled through my suitcases and pulling out my flannelette snoopy embossed pyjama's I was planning on sleeping in." Why have you packed these horrible things I hope you weren't planning on letting Edward see you in these? We'll go shopping after snowboarding you need some decent sleepwear."

"Fine" I grumbled I knew there was no point in arguing with Alice I'd never won an argument with her yet, "We can pick up some alcohol when we're in town"

"Yay Bella are we going to party tonight?" Alice clapped her hands like a child who had just been given their favourite toy.

"We might as well since we won't be getting any sleep," I giggled as I grabbed my jacket and camera. Alice linked arms with me and led me down the stairs.

When we arrived in the kitchen Edward, Emmett and Rose were taking turns having lines from the mirror.

"Bella get your sexy ass over here," Emmett bellowed as he passed me the rolled up bill. I looked at Edward and smirked as I did a couple of lines up each nostril.

"Bells can have more to?" Alice whined, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"Fuck no" Rose and I said in unison, looking at each other and laughing. Emmett made up a small line for Alice, he passed her the bill and she snorted her line.

"Thanks Emmett" she beamed at him before turning to poke her tongue out at Rose and I making us laugh harder.

"That's ok Alice I can tell you're going to be the life and soul of the party tonight." I rolled my eyes at Edward and dragged him outside to wait by the SUV.

The cool air stung my cheeks as I looked around at the beautiful winter scenery. The snow was falling lightly making everything more beautiful. I snapped a few photos of Edward, snow beginning to dampen his hair. The others joined us in the car and we were soon heading for the mountain.

By the time, we hit the chairlifts I was amping and my usual cautious demeanour had abandoned me completely. That's what I loved about meth it made me fearless. We disembarked the chairlift on the top run. Edward and I watched as the others began their descent.

"Ready?" I asked Edward as I adjusted my beanie and sunglasses.

"Hell yeah, let's go" He began to move at the same time I did and soon we were flying down the mountain at an incredible speed the powder light snow fanning out behind us as we carved out our paths.

I felt incredibly free, I don't think I've ever enjoyed snowboarding so much. We spent the entire morning and most of the afternoon on the slopes; none of us was the least bit tired.

I could have boarded all afternoon but Alice and I had other plans, as she not so subtly reminded me as I went to head back up the mountain again. So with a Jealous look at the retreating backs of Edward, Emmett and Rose as they headed back up the mountain.

"Let's go pixie," I muttered, even though I loathed shopping with Alice I was keen to keep moving. We arrived in front of a little boutique Alice had seen as we had driven through town on the day we arrived.

I climb out of the SUV and followed Alice into the shop. We spent a couple of hours trying on different lingerie, I chose a midnight blue satin baby doll with matching satin and lace panties that tied at the sides with delicate satin bows, an emerald green corset top and matching satin crotch less panties. Alice brought me a red version of my green outfit and a white version of a gorgeous white satin and lace slip she brought for herself.

We left the shop weighed down with bags standing on the sidewalk surveying the shops on the street. Alice spotted an adult toyshop across the street and tried to convince me to go in with her and have a look.

"Bella I want to go to the toy shop" Alice whined and stomped her foot. I laughed at her because she looked just like when she was ten and James wouldn't buy her the doll she wanted.

"Sorry Pixie but I'm not going to the toy shop, how about I go for alcohol down there," I pointed toward the wholesale alcohol shop on the street corner, I'll meet you back at the car in fifteen minutes."

We deposited our bags in the car before heading in opposite directions. When I got back to the car, the pixie was waiting for me impatiently four brightly coloured boxes sitting at her feet.

"What's in the boxes pixie?" I knew she wouldn't tell me but curiosity got the better of me.

"You'll have to wait and see Bella, you didn't want to come and see the toys remember." She smirked at me as I unlocked the car and loaded the alcohol in the back with Alice's boxes. We arrived at the mountain's car park to find Edward, Rose and Emmett, Jasper waiting for us their cheeks flushed crimson each with a wide smile on their face.

When we arrived back at our chalet Edward tried to convince me to come over to his place for a shower but Alice wasn't letting me go.

"Edward" she chided "I know you haven't seen Bella for a few hours but I really need her with me for little longer." That made me nervous what could she want with me now. I kissed Edward for a good minute before I felt the demon pixie pulling me from Edwards embrace.

"Curse fucken Jasper and Emmett who it their right mind would give Alice any kind of upper, I'll see you soon," I muttered as I let Alice lead me into our chalet.

Rose was waiting in the warm kitchen in front of the blazing fire in the grate, she handed me a cocktail glass filled with a clear icy slush "Good choice with the alcohol Bella these ice cold fucks are so yummy even in the cold." Rose giggled as she downed the icy liquid in one.

I copied her emptying my glass and then holding it out for a refill. The pixie bounced past us carrying her brightly coloured boxes into the lounge room.

"What's the pixie got in the boxes?" Rose whispered her perfectly manicured eyebrows arched in suspicion.

"I don't know but it's something to do with toys," I giggled before adding, "I better go have a shower before it gets too late" I hugged Rose as I left the room.

"You're clothes are on your bed Bella" Alice called up the stairs as I opened my bedroom door. Alice had added logs to the fire and the room was warm the flickering light caused shadows to dance on the walls.

I headed for the bathroom turning the water on before removing my ski suit. I stepped into the steamy water reaching for my favourite cinnamon scented shampoo smiling at the memories of my last shower the one I shared with Edward.

I heard someone rustling around in the bathroom but the steam was so thick I couldn't see anything.

"Fuck Pixie give me a chance I've only been in here for a minute," I scolded thinking it was Alice coming in to hurry me up. No body answered but the shower door opened and Edward slipped into the shower, smirking at me as I looked down at his full-blown erection.

"Hello Edward, and to what do I owe the pleasure?" I giggled knowing pleasure was exactly what he was seeking.

"I've had a hard on for you all day Bella and I couldn't bear the thought of you up here naked and alone in the shower" he pressed himself into me his hard cock sandwiched between us.

He pulled me into his arms kissing me hungrily as his hand slipped down my waist over to my ass cheek, which he rubbed slowly, my hands tangled in his bronze hair, I tugging it to pull him closer to me.

"I want you to fuck me Edward I want to feel your cock inside me now," I commanded against his lips. I let my leg slip from his waist as I spun around in his grip pressing my chest against the shower wall.

"Fuck you're so sexy Bella," Edward purred as he used his knee to spread my legs before plunging his cock into my warm wet pussy "Oh my god baby you're so wet..so tight..god I love being inside you Bella you're my perfect fit"

"Edward I want you to fuck me so hard all I'll want to say is your name over and over again" I pleaded not even caring if I sounded like a whore. He thrust into me violently "fuck Bella you feel so good, I love pounding my cock deep into your pussy it's always so wet for me, I want to fuck you all night long in every depraved way I can think of " Edward gasped in my ear

"I can't fucken wait baby," I whimpered as I fingered my clit vigorously bringing me to the brink.

"Fuck you're a naughty girl aren't you Bella," Edward growled as he thrust into me burying himself to the hilt. That was enough to tip me over the edge and I was only vaguely aware I was screaming his name repeatedly as I shuddered with the intensity of my climax.

I could feel that I'd pulled Edward over the Edge with me when he started rambling incoherently "Jesus..fuck..can't..enough..want..so..beautiful." I closed my eyes and tried to calm my breathing my heart was trying to jump out of my chest.

Edward turned off the water wrapping me in a towel before grabbing himself a towel and his clothes. He followed me to my room so we could dress by the fire before heading back down stairs to see what the other deviants in the house were doing.


	8. Fire and Ice

**A/N: I'm posting this chapter early because it's a bit of a fluff. If I get any new reviews tonight I'll reward you with both Bella and Edward's points of view on the first part of their night of fun and games in tomorrows post. Sorry I've already resorted to bribery but it's extremely frustrating not knowing if you are enjoying the story or not. **

**DISCLAIMER:** **Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.**

**CHAPTER 8: FIRE AND ICE**

It was dark when Edward and I emerged from my room, when we walked into the kitchen Rosalie was bent over the mirror again; Emmett was standing behind her his arms firmly around her waist. Jasper and a sulky looking pixie were by the sink blending cocktails. It looks like this was going to be a long night.

"What's up Pixie?" I asked even though I already knew the answer.

"Rose said I can't have anymore meth unless you say its ok, like you're my fucken minder or something," she hissed through her clenched jaw. I rolled my eyes while trying to suppress my giggle.

"Pixie it's for your own good" I teased as I grabbed the rolled up Bill from Rose and took my share.

"Here's you're drinks you mean bitches, not that I should give them to you," she pouted petulantly. I passed the money to Edward took my drink from the pixie kissing her cheek lightly.

She looked up at me hopefully her eye's full of pleading.

"Fine pixie but I'm not dealing with the after math.

"Yay thank you Bells" She rushed over and snatched the money from Edward's hand, making everyone to laugh.

Emmett dragged Rose through to the lounge, I smiled when I heard the first few cords of Guns 'n' Roses sweet child of mine, it was one of my favourite songs.

"Bella come dance with us," Emmett yelled from the lounge, his booming voice clearly audible even over the thudding music. I groaned as I grabbed Edwards hand and pulled him from the room.

My groan turned to a giggle when I saw Emmett and Rose grinding their hips together in their own version of dirty dancing.

"Come here Bells" Emmett grinned as he pulled me from Edward's grasp and into his crushing embrace. Edward scowled but Rose giggled throwing herself at Edward, her legs encircling his waist lips crashing down on his in a demanding kiss.

Edward pulled away looking shocked; his eyes found mine questioningly, I couldn't help but laugh he looked so awkward.

"It's ok Edward it's just Rose," I giggled as Emmett ground his hips into mine.

Rose returned her lips to Edwards and he responded with more enthusiasm this time rsising his hand to fist her hair. I returned my attention to Emmett who was clicking his tongue impatiently.

His hand tilted my chin upward and he kissed me hungrily, his kiss was so different from Edwards, his lips weren't as soft but he was a great kisser. I responded with enthusiasm, deepening the kiss as my arms encircled his neck, his arms loosened around my waist, slipping down to cup my ass cheeks. He lifted me off the floor crushing my body to his as his lips attacked mine.

We kissed for a good couple of minutes, I had no idea if Edward and Rose were still kissing or watching us. I pressed myself further into Emmett allowing our pelvises to grind together. I had to admit it was fun kissing Emmett even though I felt no spark between us.

I only pulled away from the kiss when I heard the demon pixie's gasp.

"What the hell is going on here?" she demanded her shrill voice cutting through the air like a whip.

" Just dancing pixie," Rose giggled as she nuzzled Edward's neck. I could feel Edwards burning stare as I clung to Emmett, Emmeet grinned over at Edward who scowled back.

"I want to kiss the boy's too, why is it that you two get to do all the fun stuff? You're so mean to me" Alice whined as she let go of Jaspers hand and pulled me out of Emmett's grip. She jumped into his arms and brought her mouth to his.

Rose and I both giggled because she looked possessed.

"Well if Alice get's to kiss the boys then I must get to kiss the girls, so get your sexy ass over here Bella" Jasper crooned seductively. I looked at Edward to gauge his reaction, he didn't say anything to me but I could tell he was pissed off.

Too bad, I let him kiss my sisters with no problem the least he could do was allow me the same privilege with his brothers. I threw myself into Jasper's embrace bringing my lips to his eagerly. I was surprised at how much I liked kissing Jasper, his lips were soft and I could feel a slight tingling of electricity in our kiss.

This made me a little nervous and I pulled away from him much earlier than I had with Emmett.

I turned in Jasper's embrace to look at Edward, he was kissing Alice but not looking overly pleased about it. I disentangled myself from Jasper's embrace and Rose took my place. I reached down to grab my drink from the table grinning over at Emmett who was waggling his eyebrows at me.

My giggle interrupted Alice and Edward and he let go of her at once. His eyes sought mine and I smiled widely at him trying to convey there was no harm done, I could tell from the look that he gave me he was not happy.

I went to his side and kissed his cheek "Come and mix some more drinks with me," I grabbed his hand and led him to the kitchen. He was silent as I went to the blender.

"Are you ok Edward, did what happen in there bother you?" Normally I would never come right out and ask such a question but meth made me fearless.

"Yes it bothered me; it looked like you were having a really good time with my brother's. Did you enjoy making out with them?" He hissed at me his eyes flashing dangerously in the light.

"Not as much as I enjoy making out with you baby" I smiled at him as I turned on the blender.

"I don't want to share you Bella, I don't share." His eyes were full of fire but his voice was icy cold.

"Edward it was just a kiss, you got to kiss my sister's and you don't see me pouting, come on let's just have a good time it didn't mean anything." Edwards eyes flashed again but he just nodded and followed me from the room.

I refilled everyone's glasses and was happy to see the original pairings back in place.

Alice's favourite song started playing on the stereo, she squealed as she jumped up from jaspers lap and onto the table.

"Come dance with me Bella, Rose," she pleaded as she gyrated her hips to the beat of the music.

I winked at Rose as I pulled myself up from Edward's lap. We jumped on the table next to Alice, dancing close to each other grinding our bodies together. We lifted our tops suggestively as we bumped and grinded against each other causing Emmett to wolf whistle.

Edward was looking icy, I wondered briefly, what his problem was until I decided, I didn't really care. I was having a good time that's all that mattered to me in this frame of mind.

However, a random thought came to me that might take his mind off his problems.

I leaned over to Alice and whispered in her ear "Is it time for the games yet?" She looked at me confused until I said, "I want to know what's in the boxes"

"Oh my god Bella I almost forgot about the boxes" she squealed as she leapt from the table and scurried to the corner of the room where she had left the boxes.

"Time for games" She announced as she placed the boxes at Jasper's feet, she had an evil grin on her face and suddenly I wished I hadn't reminded her.

"What's in the boxes pixie?" Emmett asked grinning as evilly as Alice did.

"It's a surprise Emmett. Now the rules of this game are that you not allowed to show or tell anyone but your partner what's in the box. You have to use each of the items in the box during the course of the evening. We will meet back here at seven a.m. to share our stories of how you used them and the most creative couple get's to choose what we do for the next two days" She ended with a flourish grinning around at us all like some demonic Angel.

"Are you fucken insane pixie?" I snorted, "This is why we don't let you take drugs, they turn you into a perverted demon." Everyone laughed but Alice who glowered at me

"Bella I've seen you pretty close to the edge of being a perverted demon, so don't go all prude on me now." The pixie reprimanded me.

I flipped her the finger and pulled Edward to his feet. I reached over and took the emerald green box from Jasper's feet; the colour reminded me of Edward's eyes. I grabbed my camera from the table and told everyone we'd see them at seven.

"Let the games begin" Emmett chortled as Edward and I left the room. We closed the bedroom door and headed for the rug in front of the fire, Edward added more logs and soon the fire was blazing in the grate.

"So let's see what the Demon Pixie has got in store for us tonight," Edward's voice was low husky lust filled.

I shivered in anticipation as pulled the lid from the box.


	9. Games: Edward Bella

**A/N: Sorry I never posted this Chapter yeasterday am going thru a major rewrite of the end of this story, which incidently does not want to be finished. We still have a long way to go with Edward & Bella. This chapter is written by both Edward and Bella's POV. I hope you enjoy.**

**DSCLAIMER: I din't own twilight, S. Meyer does....**

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**CHAPTER 9: GAMES EDWARDS TURN **

We both peered into the box at the same time eager to see what its hidden treasures were, I looked at Bella whose face looked like a kid on Christmas day who got everything she'd asked for on her Santa list. When I pulled out a silver vibrator from the box, her face beamed in anticipation.

Next came a sheer black baby doll, with matching satin panties, "Go put these on Bella" I commanded as I passed her the scrap of lace.

She grabbed it from my hands and headed for the bathroom not before seeing me remove several brightly coloured silk scarves, she never saw the paddle or any of the other items I removed when she was changing in the bathroom. I replaced the lid on the box and hid my chosen items down the side of the bed.

I returned to the rug and waited for Bella to return from the bathroom.

When she stepped out of the bathroom my breathing hitched, the woman was a goddess.

The baby doll pushed her breasts up so high they were in danger of spilling forth at any moment, the bottom of the scrap of fabric barely covered her ass cheeks that were already half exposed from the not really there crotch less panties she was wearing.

I watched her walk toward me; the slight swing of her hips was making me impossibly hard and I couldn't wait to have my way with her.

" Did you find any toys you like?" She giggled as she came to sit next to me by the fire

I silenced her with a rough kiss; my lips smashing against hers, I could barely think straight she was so beautiful so perfect and so willing to give me what I wanted.

I broke the kiss and reached for the black scarf, I kissed her eyelids before tying it securely round her eyes. I kissed hungrily, I let my kiss tell her everything I wanted to do with her and she responded greedily.

Bella seemed as willing to let go and have fun as much as I did.

I slid her from my lap and without breaking the kiss; lifting her into my arms, I slowly carried her to the bed, the sound of her whimper when I pulled my lips from her's was like a shot of pure lust to my groin, I laid her gently in the centre.

I slid up next to her on the bed wrapping my hand around her wrists, gently raising them over her head. I kissed her swiftly as I got to my knees. She shivered slightly as she felt the silk being secured around her wrists, before she could protest I kissed her again.

She tugged on the restraints but they didn't budge. I had already secured them to the bed when she was in the bathroom.

I lifted the sheer fabric of her negligee and placed a line of kisses across her stomach before I slid off the bed, she tugged against the restraints straining herself against them. I gripped her ankle; winding the silk around her and secured it, I kissed her bound ankle before moving to her other leg.

I spread her leg wide before tying it with the scarf. I watched her for a minute, she really was the exquisite woman I had ever seen.

She began to fight against the restraints trying to squirm from there grasp, I reached for her camera clicking off a dozen shots in a second.

She stopped fighting when she heard the familiar sound of her camera taking photos, "Mmm Bella you look so utterly delicious spread out in front of me like a feast, you wouldn't believe how breathtakingly beautiful you are, I can't wait to taste you baby." I growled, as she fought against her bindings.

"Please Edward Please touch me" She whimpered as she turned her head from side to side trying in vain to shift the blindfold, the sound of her pleading made my hard cock twitch. I couldn't believe the overwhelming rush of pride when I heard her begging for me to touch her.

It was me she wanted not Emmett not Jasper, me. I wanted to take her then, I wanted to lose myself in her heaven.

I said nothing but I smiled when I heard her gasp; as I trickled the warm sticky chocolate sauce along her leg from her shin to her inner thigh then across the little satin bows covering her heaven.

Her moan as the warm liquid seeped down into her folds nearly sent me over the edge the sounds she made were like the purest melody. I placed a kiss on her satin panties my tongue licking through the delicate satin bows, before she could do more than sigh I brought my lips roughly, to her's smearing them with chocolate.

I licked my lips savouring the taste of the rich dark chocolate; as I moved down the bed and began to lick the chocolate trail from her shin to her thigh leaving a smeared chocolate trail up her beautiful leg.

She yanked at bindings; yelling out in frustration.

"What's the matter Bella?" I purred against her thigh causing a beautiful mewling noise to escape her lips.

"Edward I need you in me now I can't deal with this torture any longer," she growled. I laughed against her thigh, I was enjoying being able to take my time, to explore every inch of her body.

"Bella if you do not behave I will leave you tied to this bed and make you watch me get myself off, is that what you want?"

"NO Edward I want you to fuck me right now, that's what I want" she snapped, I could tell she was over playing this particular game.

I laughed again my warm breath fanning out against her sensitive skin, but I didn't make any move to give her what she wanted.

"Bella if you do not behave I'm going to gag you" I smiled at her sharp intake of breath at my words but she fell silent continuing to tug on her bindings.

I slid my fingers along the delicate skin of her neck to her collarbone before allowing my fingers to trace over the outline of her breasts visible through the sheer material, I sighed as I traced my finger over her nipples watching them harden under my touch.

I dipped my hand to her covered mound rubbing my palm over the silky material, I let my fingers run along the lacy edge before hooking the delicate fabric in my fingers roughly ripping them from her body. Her baby doll saw a similar fate.

I slid my tongue over chocolate smeared slit before licking and sucking the chocolate from her folds.

"Oh thank god Edward Please don't stop," she cried out as her body responded to my touch. I drove my tongue into her dripping core, groaning at her exquisite flavour.

I replaced my tongue with my fingers, revelling in the feeling of them slipping deeper into her core.

My tongue moved to her swollen pink clit, I flicked it lightly before sucking it between my lips. Her body went into over drive she tried to buck her hips, thrashing against the bindings. She let out a frustrated scream; from the way, she was pulling on her restraints she determined to rip the silk scarves from the headboard, but they didn't give.

"Mmm Bella so wet for me" I purred as I withdrew my fingers, reaching for the vibrator on the bedside table, her breathing hitched when she heard the faint humming of the vibrator; I slid it over her clit causing her to cry out in pleasure.

The sound was music to my ears.

I could tell the vibrations felt amazing against her clit by the near continuous mewling noises issuing from her lips. I knew her orgasm was imminent so I slid the vibrator inside her as my tongue attacked her clit.

I had never heard anything more beautiful than Bella screaming my name along with a list of profanities that would have made a sailor blush as her climax rushed over, I watched in awe as her body thrashed around as the waves of pleasure shuddered through her body, my name continued to fall from her lips.

She was gasping for air as I continued to lick me and fuck her with the vibrator. Before she had time to even realise what was happening I brought another wave of pleasure to her quivering frame.

When I'd licked up the juices running down her thigh I slid my body over her's removing the blind fold from her eyes, but keeping the bindings on her wrists and ankles in place.

I kissed her lips greedily before moving to the delicate skin of her neck inhaling the cinnamon scent of her body. I listened to trying to calm her breathing as I sucked nibbled and licked her sensitive skin.

"You're so Beautiful Bella," I purred as I shifted my body so my cock was sitting at her soaking entrance. I rested it there for a moment causing her to hiss through her teeth.

I chuckled as I plunged inside her with force "Is this what you want Bella? Do you want me to fuck you hard baby."

"God yes Edward" she yelled as she tugged against the bindings in a futile effort to free herself. I wasn't being gentle as I pounded into her with reckless abandon. I couldn't believe it when she begged me to fuck her harder.

"Bella I'll hurt you," I protested but I increased the strength of my thrusts, my hipbones smashing into hers.

"Oh god Bella I'm gonna..it's so..fucken..amazing..baby..fuck..Bella..oh god" I felt Bella's muscles clamping around my cock milking me of my own orgasm as she rode out her own, once again my name fell repeatedly from her lips. I closed my eyes as my hot seed shot into her warm depths.

I lay on her panting for a moment as I tried to catch my breath. My heart was trying to jump out of my chest and my muscles had locked down. I slipped the blindfold from her eyes as I kissed her softly, tasting the chocolate sauce on her lips.

I withdrew from her, bringing a whimper from her lips as I rolled off her, undoing the silk scarves around her wrists massaging and kissing each one gently before moving to her ankles.

"Bella I don't know how to describe that, it was incredible" I shook my head in awe of her, she looked at me with those Doe eyes and smiled.

"I know I'm not sure if I can stand" she giggled as she moved to the side of the bed, she laughed louder when she saw the shredded remains of her panties and baby doll discarded on the floor.

"Well at least I'm in better condition than my clothing" she snickered and I joined her, I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her hair, revelling in the exotic smell of her cinnamon shampoo.

As I held her close I couldn't deny the overwhelming feeling that Bella was perfect for me, I'd never felt so relaxed in a woman's company before she even evoked feelings of jealousy and a kind of possessiveness I had never felt before. As crazy, as it sounds since I'd only known Bella for a couple of days I felt like I was falling in love with her.

** =xx=**

** GAMES BELLA'S TURN.**

"Edward, I need Alcohol before we start round two," I giggled as I pulled on the emerald green nightgown and matching boy shorts.

"Yeah I suppose your right" he sighed as he pulled on his T-shirt and boxers.

The kitchen was empty when we arrived thankfully. We could hear Rose's screams echoing down the stairs, so we knew they wouldn't be disturbing us in the immediate future. I had no idea where the Pixie and Jasper were.

It was the perfect time to check whether uncle Cedric had left me the gift he'd promised.

"Edward you make the drinks, I'll be back in a minute," I headed out the door and down to the laundry switching on the light and opening the cupboard under the sink.

Good old uncle Cedric I thought to myself as I pulled a bag of weed, some cigarettes, a bong and a pair of scissors from the cupboard. I raced back to Edward in the kitchen, he took one look at what was in my hands and a smile spread over his face.

"Quick grab the alcohol and let's go before Rose or the Pixie catch us" I quipped as I raced back up the stairs with Edward hot on my heels.

" Bella where did you get that from?" Edward asked as soon as we were safely shut in my room.

"This is my uncles Chalet, he told me he'd leave this for me when I asked him if we could borrow the place." We sat down on the lambs wool rug by the fire, Edward poured the drinks while I cut up some of the weed and quickly smoked a pipe.

I had another one before passing the pipe to Edward who took it gratefully. I gulped down a couple of cocktails before taking the pipe from Edward and having a couple more tokes.

Grabbing my camera from the bedside table, I sat down next to Edward holding the camera out in front of us taking a couple of random photos of us together, before checking the memory card to see the photos Edward had taken of me tied to the bed.

He grinned at my raised eyebrows, "I needed some holiday shots for my private collection."

My eyebrows shot up further with his comment but I let it go.

When Edward went to the bathroom, I sneaked a peek into the box choosing the items I wanted to use in my coming game.

I scanned the room for props I might use and smiled when my eyes fell on slatted wooden chair in the far corner of the room and the mirror on my wardrobe door. I moved the chair quickly placing it on the mat just to the side of the fireplace within reach of the mantle piece where I had placed the handcuffs; I took the mirror and placed it under the bed.

Edward's eyebrows arched as he came back into the room and saw the chair sitting there, I passed him a drink as I had another pipe. Passing him the bong I reached for my drink, I downed it in one then poured another I downed that one as well.

I leaned over to kiss Edward lustfully, letting my kiss make my intentions clear. He moaned into my mouth so I pulled away, standing up I pulled Edward to his feet with me.

I pushed him gently back into the chair smiling at him as I straddled his lap, I placed my lips to his kissing him gently, then letting him kiss me back with force. I crushed my clothed breasts into his chest, forcing him back against the slats.

His hands moved to grip the back of the chair, I reached over as if I was going to tangle my hands in his hair, instead I grabbed the handcuffs threading the chain around a slat in the chair before clipping them round his wrists.

Edward looked up at me in surprise; he obviously wasn't expecting me to be so quick at cuffing him. Little did he know I knew how to use a pair of cuffs pretty well.

"My turn to play now Edward" I giggled as I slid off his lap reached into the box to retrieve more of the silk scarves. I tied his ankles to the chair legs checking they were secure before taking a blood red scarf and blindfolding him.

I reached over to stroke Edwards cock through the satin fabric of his boxers, before reaching for the scissors. I cut Edwards boxers from his body, I smiled when I heard him gasp, as the cold mental brushed his thigh.

Once free of its confines, I knelt in front of him marvelling at how beautiful he was as I stroked his rock hard cock, the moan it elicited from him made me smile.

I bent my head down licking up the length of his cock before taking his swollen tip between my lips allowing my tongue to taste the precum glistening on the slit.

"Oh god Bella" Edward moaned as I allowed him deeper into my mouth, I sucked him gently as my head bobbed in his lap.

I allowed my teeth to graze his length before I increased the pressure and tempo of my ministrations. Edward was shifting in his seat; I knew he was desperate to thrust his hips and bury himself further in my mouth.

I brought him deeper into my throat licking and sucking him at a furious pace.

"Fuck Bella that's so good, I love the way your hot little mouth works my cock," I moaned at his words," Mmm Bella I'm so close." As soon as the words left his lips, I withdrew him from my mouth moving away from him at once.

"Fuck Bella what are you doing" Edward groaned as I left him throbbing.

I moved to the fireplace pouring myself a cocktail gulping it greedily before I reached for the bong. I took my time smoking my pipes watching Edward twitch in frustration as he sat there blindfolded and bound to the chair.

I picked up my camera taking a dozen photos of Edward naked and blindfolded tied to the chair he was so beautiful. I felt powerful giddy with the power I had over him at this minute.

I placed the camera on the floor and crawled toward him. His head looked around as he felt my approach, I took his cock in my hand pumping it a few times before returning it to my mouth.

I sucked until I brought him to the edge again withdrawing him from my mouth before he could find his release.

"Fuck Bella this is cruel torture baby," He groaned as the fidgeted in the seat.

I untied his legs from the chair kissing each ankle. I took the key and undid the cuffs allowing me to release him from the chair, I kissed his wrists, I left the blind fold on as I led him to the bed.

Once I had him on his back in the centre of the bed, I bound his wrists and ankles with the scarves still tied to the bedposts.

I kissed him quickly before removing myself from the bed, retrieving the items I would need and placed them on the bedside table.

I took the caramel sauce, pouring a small amount on the head of his cock watching it as it trickled down his throbbing cock, I let my tongue slide along the chocolate trail before I took Edward back in my mouth sucking him roughly.

He groaned as he bucked his hips forward forcing himself into my throat.

"God Bella that feels so good I wish I could see your hot mouth sucking my cock." He growled as I hummed around his cock the vibrations, making him twitch.

I could feel him hardening further and I knew he was at the brink so I slid him out of my mouth and slid up his body, kissing him wantonly as I pressed myself into him allowing my breasts to drag along his skin before I rolled off him.

" Fuck Bella I 'm sure I didn't torture you this bad" He growled, "I'm getting seriously uncomfortable over here."

"Yeah well now you know how I felt," I chided as I grabbed the mirror from under the bed, propping it against the bed frame at Edwards's feet.

I ripped the foil from the condom in my hand, rolling it over Edwards erect cock before removing my panties and top.

I pumped his cock, as I squirted a generous amount of lube on the condom. I grabbed the silver vibrator as I climbed on the bed squatting frog legged over Edward's hips. I had my back to his chest as I positioned his cock between my ass cheeks and slowly sunk down allowing his cock to slowly fill my ass.

"Oh my fucken god Bella that feels incredible, you're so tight....Baby" He stopped mid sentence when he heard the low hum of the vibrator.

I placed a supporting hand on his thigh as I turned to flick off his blind fold off, then I plunged the vibrator deep into my wet core while I rode his cock in my ass.

I looked up to see him watching me in the mirror and I smiled as I rode him harder, driving the vibrator deeper into my core.

"Fuck Bella I want to touch you, I can feel the vibrations of your toy baby and they're driving me insane," Edward growled as he bucked his hips up burying himself deeper into me.

I could feel the familiar sensation of my orgasm building and I wanted Edward to cum with me so I allowed my pace became frenzied as I rocked harder against him, I flicked the speed of the vibrator onto high to help us along.

"Oh..fuck..oh..god..Bella..so….tight..so…good..Bella....It's..heaven…fucking..you're..tight…ass cum..Baby.." I rubbed the vibrator over my clit allowing the vibrations to pull me over the edge.

"Holy..Fuck..EDWARD..fuck shit..ohmyfuckinggod… EDWARD," I screamed as I let my own climax explode within me, "shit..oh.. shit..fuck.," I gasped as I slowed my pace, grabbing Edwards knee to brace myself.

I looked into the mirror and smiled at Edwards's reflection, he was staring at me with lust and awe in his eyes.

I slowly withdrew him from me climbing to the side of the bed, I removed and binned his condom, before climbing up next to him, kissing his chest before I untied his restraints. I kissed and massaged his wrists and ankles before resting my head against his chest

. We lay on the bed not speaking both of us lost in our memories of our night so far, It was Edward who finally broke the silence.

"Bella you are by far the most amazing talent of woman I have ever met," he sighed. He still sounded breathless his voice was low and husky.

"Should we get up and have a drink before we start round three," I giggled as I rolled out of his embrace.

"Bloody hell Bella you're going to be the death of me."


	10. Chapter 10 Losing Control

**A/N: This is a continuation of Bella and Edward's games though it's probably not so much fun for Bella in the end. Review if you want and I'll be posting another chapter late tomorrow night or friday morning. **

**DISCLAIMER: S MEYER OWNS TWILIGHT AND MORE POWER TO HER.**

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**CHAPTER 10: LOSING CONTROL..**

We sat on the lamb's wool rug sharing some pipes and drinking the last of our cocktails.

Edward was staring at me with awe, which made me slightly embarrassed. God he probably thinks I'm a nothing but a slutty crack whore, I don't normally do these kinds of wild things but Edward was just so damn sexy, I wanted to do depraved things with him.

"Should we go get some more drinks," I suggested partly because I didn't want him to look at me like that anymore, and partly because I wanted to keep moving.

"Sure but maybe we should dress first." I laughed out loud when he reached over to retrieve what was left his boxers, holding up the shredded satin.

"Bella you murdered my boxers" he pouted.

"Yeah well you murdered my nightgown and my panties so we'll call it even shall we?" He laughed as he reached for his jeans, pulling them swiftly over his hips.

I pulled on my boy pants and tank picked up the empty jug and headed for the door. Edward followed me to the kitchen, watching me as I made us another jug of cocktails.

"Edward I think there's a Jacuzzi outside, should we go have a swim?" I poured us fresh drinks handing him his with a smile.

"Sure baby lead the way" He followed me through the lounge out the back doors to the patio where the Jacuzzi sat, steaming in the freezing night air.

I ran my fingers through the water checking the temperature it was toasty warm. I turned on the bubbles, removed my clothes and stepped into the hot swirling water.

It stung the raw skin on my ankles where the restraints had chafed my skin.

I sat back eyes closed, enjoying the caress of the bubbles on my skin. When I opened them, Edward was there next to me pulling me into his lap. He moved the hair from my neck kissing softly at first then roughly, sucking and nibbling the delicate skin there, his hands cupped my breasts squeezing them hard, while my hands entwined in his hair pulling him harder against me.

"God Edward I want you to fuck me baby, I can't get enough of you..I want you deep inside me." I whispered into his hair, my lips grazing the bronze strands.

A low growl was building in Edwards' throat, I could hear it rumble before escaping his lips.

I was really enjoying the sensation of Edward kissing my neck until his teeth sunk into my flesh causing me to cry out in pain and pleasure. He didn't pull away and neither did I, his fingers flicked and rolled my nipples into hard points.

I moaned and he finally released me from his bite, only to kiss and lick over the wound.

The pain was intense even in my inebriated state but I stayed silent, hot tears spilled from my eyes why did Edward bite me so hard? Edward didn't noticed my tears, his hands roamed over my body before returning to my breasts and massaging them roughly

I could feel his erection pushing against my stomach, I reached down to take it, but Edward spun me around in his arms so my back leaned into his chest one hand had become restraints encircling my chest pinning my arms to my sides. His free hand moving beneath the water to push my knees apart before he plunged two fingers into my core.

"Mmm Edward "I moaned as I pushed down on his fingers burying them deeper inside me. He plunged another finger into me and twisted them roughly before pumping them furiously; his lips were sucking at the skin of my neck sucking the pale flesh between his lips. His fingers pumped faster and I squirmed in his embrace.

He let out a low grunt against my neck as he lifted me abruptly from the water placing me on all fours on the cold concrete patio.

I was preoccupied with the cold air on my skin and wasn't expecting Edward to grab my hips roughly and plunge his rock hard cock into me.

The air rushed from lungs in surprise and I had to quickly brace myself so I didn't fall forward as he pounded into me. There was something different about the way Edward was fucking me gone was the playful mood of half an hour ago, now there was almost a darkness to him.

Edwards fingers were digging deep into the flesh of my hips as he dragged me back to meet each one of his violent strokes, I would have bruises tomorrow of that I was certain.

"Fuck Edward" I gasped as he continued his violent and frenzied pounding, an overwhelming pleasure born of the drug-induced haze I was in, was building in me and overriding the fact I was in quite a lot of pain.

I wasn't about to ask Edward to stop and by the animalistic and frenzied way he was fucking me now I don't think he could of stopped.

I reached down to finger my clit desperate to find a release to the pleasure and pain battling for dominance in my body. I was becoming light headed my brain in a state of confusion.

Pleasure won at that moment and I wasn't even aware I was screaming Edwards name because my vision went black and all I was aware of was the sound of the blood roaring in my ears.

Edward's low guttural growl was the first thing I became consciously aware of followed by his cries "Fuck..Bella..so..beautiful...you..baby..you're..mine..Bella..all..mine..won't..share..

nobody..else's..just…mine." as he shuddered violently behind me.

I collapsed on my forearms, gasping for air trying to shake the black spots from in front of my eyes. He loosened his grip on my hips and I struggled forward withdrawing him from me quickly as I turned to face him, sitting down on the freezing concrete.

My mind and heart were racing I looked down to see blood dripping from my raw knees. I waited for Edward to speak but he stayed silent, he just stared at me but it was like he wasn't there.

His eye's usually deep green and sparkling were dark, lust filled and almost dead looking.

He almost didn't look human there was a beast like quality to his features.

"Edward are you ok?" my teeth were chattering and I was shaking with cold but I didn't move or take my eyes from his.

He blinked rapidly a couple of time before the light and green returned to his eyes. He shook his head as if he was trying to clear his mind.

He looked down at my bloodied knees and a pained expression crossed his face

"God Bella are you ok" He took in my appearance and the fact that I was shaking almost to the point of convulsing and leapt from the Jacuzzi scooping me up into his arms and raced me back to my room.

He wrapped me in a towel and sat me on a chair by the fireplace before hurrying to the bathroom returning a moment later with a first aid kit. I noticed the paddle lying half concealed by the bed and was kind of grateful he hadn't used it tonight as if I needed tender ass cheeks as well.

His face was a mask of pain as he cleaned my knees he refused to meet my gaze. I pulled my hair into a messy bun as I watched him dab my knees with a purple liquid that made them sting, my gasp made him look at me finally.

" I'm so so sorry Bella I never meant to hurt you, I just lost control." His eyes sparkled with unshed tears and I knew his apology was sincere.

"It's ok Edward it's just a couple of scrapes I'll live." I gave him a small smile that may have looked more like a grimace.

He carried me to the bed and gently lay me under the covers before climbing in next to me. The only light came in the form of the low burning flames in the grate. I snuggled into Edwards arms trying to whimper in pain.

I wasn't in the least bit tired but I just lay there in Edward's arms trying to make some sense of what had just happened.

His deep sigh goaded me into speech "Are you ok Edward?" I asked timidly.

"We'll talk about it later love just try to get some sleep" He pulled me closer and I clenched my jaw tightly to stop the painful groan from escaping my lips.

I lay awake in Edward's arms for what seemed like hours, thinking over everything that had happened, I knew from the way he was breathing that Edward was also awake but neither of us spoke and I was grateful when sleep finally captured me.


	11. Chapter 11 After Math

**DISCLAIMER: S MEYER OWNS TWILIGHT..**

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**CHAPTER 11: AFTER MATH..**

Even though my body was exhausted and my eyes were closed, I wasn't asleep. I could feel Edward stroking my hair so I knew sleep was evading him as well. I kept my eyes shut as I tried to make sense of the jumble of thoughts swirling around in my mind.

What had happened in the Jacuzzi? Edward had lost control that's what. How had it gone from some innocent fun to something so violent? The memory of his black dead eyes danced across my eyelids, I shivered at the memory.

Edward pulled the blankets up around me thinking I was cold. I lay there lost in my thoughts for another hour or so, I was afraid to open my eyes and face Edward; I didn't know how he was going to react to last night.

The manic pounding on the door brought me back to reality with a groan and my eyes snapped open.

"Bella, Edward you have ten minutes to report to the kitchen if you don't I'm going to get Emmett and Jasper to break down the door." Alice's shrill voice sounded through the door.

"Fuck off, you Demonic Pixie" I yelled as I pulled my pillow over my head. The last thing I felt like doing was telling everyone what happened last night, Edward's concerned voice interrupted my internal ranting.

"Bella are you ok under there?"

"No, yes, I don't know, I think so." I rambled, the truth was I didn't really know if I was ok. He pulled the pillow from my head.

"Hi," I smiled weakly up at him.

"Hi yourself," there was definitely something off in his voice it sounded strained, "Are you ok babe? I am sorry I hurt you last night Bella. There's no excuse for my behaviour, I don't know what came over me; I just lost control, I want you to know I've never acted in that manner before and I feel sick with regret for causing you pain."

"It's ok Edward I'm ok it's just a couple of scrapes, I'm not a porcelain doll, if I wanted you to stop I would of said so, I enjoy rough sex."

"Bella please don't play it down in my defence, I took you forcefully and I hurt you." He sounded angry.

"Yeah but Edward it's a fine line between pleasure and pain," I smiled as quoted the lyric from one of my favourite songs.

"Are you sure you want to forgive me so easily Bella?" Edward seemed uneasy by the fact I was playing down my injuries and waving off the incident like it didn't mean anything.

"Yes Edward I'm sure, right now I just really need a shower before we face the demon pixie." He looked at me sadly as he kissed my forehead. He jumped from the bed and headed for the bathroom.

I took the few moments of privacy to check over my body, I pulled back the covers and gasped silently, my hips were strewn with deep purple bruises; my knees bloodied and raw. My nipples were swollen and bruised and my wrists and ankles were black the bruising was so deep, the skin chafed raw.

I pulled myself from the bed and limped toward the bathroom Edward met me half way across the room, he took one look at my bruised and battered body and fell to his knees, a strangled sob rising from his chest.

"Bella oh god Bella I'm so sorry, so very sorry, look at what I've done to your perfect body. Bella please say you'll forgive me," he sobbed at my feet kissing my blackened ankles.

"Edward please.. I'm ok it's not your fault what happened if I wasn't enjoying myself last night I would of kicked your sorry ass out of my bed so please don't put yourself through all this unnecessary angst.

"Bella go and look at yourself in a mirror and then tell me it's ok," he choked out through his sobs.

I reached down to stroke his hair before I made my way to the bathroom.

I gasped quietly as I stared at my reflection in the mirror. My lips were slightly bruised and swollen. My eyes were ringed by dark circles from lack of sleep, I pulled my hair into a messy bun so I could study the skin on my neck. There were bruises of varying colour some red some deep purple littering my skin.

I turned my neck into the light and was shocked to see a bite mark, just below my ear, with a perfect impression of a set of teeth marks deep purple with dried blood caked around the wound. Looking down I could see the perfect imprint of Edwards fingers bruised into my skin, I checked out my back there were only a couple of dark bruises just above the cheeks of my butt.

The sight of my battered body made me feel slightly nauseous, I'd need to hide my injuries from Alice and Rose; the last thing I needed was them getting on Edward's case.

I stepped into the shower and flinched as the hot water scalded my frigid skin. I was a mess no wonder Edward just lost the plot; obviously we let it get way out of control, sex fuelled by lust drugs and alcohol. How was I going to convince Edward to let this go?

I didn't want him blame himself after all I was a willing participant; I needed to accept some of the responsibility.

I hadn't planned on thinking about my feeling for Edward until I was back in New York and I just wanted to deal with all of this when I got home. I washed myself gently before calling out to Edward.

He was the bathroom in seconds; pulling his clothes off, he opened the shower door his head hung low as he stepped into warm water.

I took his face in my hands. "Edward please look at me," he raised his head his face a mask of pain, shame and remorse, "Please Edward its ok, I'm ok I was a willing participant last night and I won't allow you to take the blame."

"But your neck Bella, that bite mark will be there permanently, I've scarred your beautiful body." He sounded revolted.

"Yeah and it will remind me of the beautiful kind hearted soul who gave it to me during the best sex of my life"

"Bella" he growled, while the sex was incredible, there's no excuse for my hurting you.

"Would you quit your worrying and kiss me already," I brought my mouth to his before he could answer and he moaned into my mouth. He pulled back suddenly a serious look on his face.

"We really should get down stairs before the demon pixie sends out her evil minions to drag us down stairs" I nodded and stepped out of the shower wrapping myself in a fluffy towel before heading to the fireplace to dry off and dress.

I smiled as Edward entered the room looking like a marble statue brought to life. I was dressed in a black cashmere turtleneck sweater and my snoopy pyjama pants. Edward grinned when he saw them.

"I like your pants," he tried to stifle his laugh, I poked my tongue out at him.

"Thanks they're my favourites, Alice said I shouldn't let you see me in such sexless attire but hey we've known each other longer enough now," I joked to hide some of my embarrassment.

"Bella you could make a sack look sexy, believe me you couldn't not be sexy if you tried."

"Flattery will get you everywhere baby," I chortled before turning serious, "Edward let's just give them minimal details of last night ok, the dirty perverts don't need to know about the after math"

"Agreed," He pulled on his jeans and shirt, laughing as he threw his shredded boxers on top of my scraps of satin and lace, "that destroyed clothing should serve as good enough evidence to appease the Demon Pixie." Edward said thoughtfully.

I smiled at him in agreement before picking up the bong and toking a couple of pipes, before passing it on to him, Edward had a couple of pipes before he stood up.

"We better go I can hear the pixie getting wound up," he chortled as helped me stand. He lifted me into his arms and carried me down the stairs.


	12. Chapter 12 In the Light of day

**A/N: Thank you to all of those people that have reviewed this story, I appreciate your feed back and I'm glad you're enjoying it. I'm posting this chapter early so I can get on with editing and posting Edward and Bella's last binge before home beckons. I am continuing the story when they get back to New York, I should warn you it's going to be a bumpy ride for these two. As always please review if you want.**

**DISCLAIMER: S MEYER OWNS TWLIGHT.**

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**CHAPTER 12: In The Light of Day**

Everyone else was waiting for us as Edward carried me into the room. I studied everyone there, nobody else seem to be sporting injuries. I kept the sleeves of my shirt down over my wrists; I was trying hard to conceal my injuries.

"What's up Bella? Having trouble walking?" Emmett boomed. I flipped him the finger as Edward sat me on a stool at the counter, "Fuck off Emmett you evil bear," I growled.

"So did everybody enjoy their game box?" Alice chirped; she was obviously still high as a kite.

"Hell yeah" Emmett and Rose said in unison, causing Edward and Jasper to laugh loudly.

I stayed silent, not prepared to offer any details about last night. I looked over at Edward, he looked uneasy little beads of sweat were forming on his brow. Obviously, he was nervous about what would happen next.

"So, who wants to go first, you can show us any evidence or injuries that will prove your story." The pixie squealed looking manic.

"We will," giggled Rose, "Emmett show them your battle scars." Emmett lifted his top showing us the bright red scratches and welts that covered his back and chest then pulled his pants partially down to show us the welts on his buttocks.

"Oh the riding crop," Alice said fondly as she studied Emmett's marks, "did you have fun with that Rosie?"

"Hell yeah Alice; best damn horse ride I ever had," she chortled, before turning her eyes on Edward and I, "So did you two have fun last night? Something must have happened, you two never miss an opportunity to fuck hard out and you're very quiet over there. Or did you not have fun with your toys?"

"Yes of course we did," I snapped, I didn't want to do this but I could see no way out.

"So Bells, Edward any evidence or injuries you would like to share?" Rose was looking at me curiously; she had a knowing looking on her face that made me feel very uncomfortable.

"Edward could you please go and get the remains of our clothing" I gave him a look that said trust me, he nodded as he left the room, returning a minute later with the shredded remains of our underwear and my camera, he threw the shredded fabric at Alice and passed me the camera

"Nice work Edward," Emmett chortled giving Edward a high five, Edward looked extremely embarrassed but high fived him anyway.

I picked up my camera and took some candid shots of everyone, trying to deflect the attention away from me. It didn't work though; Alice looked over at me and asked if I had any photographic evidence I would like to share.

"No I haven't," I snapped causing Alice to eye me suspiciously, as I raised the camera my sleeves drew back over my wrists revealing the blackened raw skin.

"Bella where did you get those awful leather wrist cuffs?" The pixie was looking at my exposed wrists in confusion.

"What cuffs, what are you going on about pixie?" Suddenly her words made sense and disregarded the camera to adjust my sleeves.

"Oh no you don't Bella," Alice lunged at me yanking up my sleeves.

I grimaced in pain but didn't resist her.

"Fuck off Alice" I growled but she wasn't deterred, she looked at my injuries in horror.

"What the fuck happened to you Bella?" Alice demanded, giving Edward a withering look that caused my chest to constrict.

Emmett, Jasper and Rose rushed over to look at the marks on my wrists.

"Jesus Edward did you have to bind her so tightly" Jasper growled, looking at Edward sternly.

Edward dropped his head in shame, the sight of him looking so wretched goaded me into speech.

"No this is not Edward's fault, the bindings weren't too tight, I; just wouldn't stay still." I felt the need to defend Edward from his brother's and my sister's.

He looked up at me with a grateful smile but the pain was evident in his eyes.

I turned to Alice determined to shift the focus from Edward and myself, "So pixie now you've got everybody else to fess up; how about you and Jasper, have you got any injuries you'd like share with the group?" I asked sarcastically.

"Jasper show them your marks," Alice commanded, still eyeing me suspiciously.

"Nah they're nothing compared to Bella's," but he pulled up his sleeves any way to reveal the rope burns around his wrists, the skin red raw.

"Bloody hell pixie, you're a demon" I said shaking my head, Edward and Emmett laughed.

"You can talk Bella, so since you're the obvious winner; what are we going to do today? Oh and by the way; I was going to surprise you by giving you the other box as a prize but since you're too rough when you play with your toys, I'm keeping the prize for Jaz and me."

She grinned at me evilly and I flipped her the finger.

"Well you guys are free to do what ever you'd like, I on the other hand am going to bed, are you coming Edward?" I asked as I slipped off the stool; trying not to wince as the weight shifted onto my feet.

"I'm just going to go back to my chalet to change, I'll see you soon ok," He kissed my forehead before turning to his brothers "are you guy's coming back to the chalet?"

"Sure let's go," Jasper grinned at Edward before pulling Alice into his embrace kissing her quickly, then following Edward and Emmett out the door.

The minute we were alone Alice turned to me with a frown.

"Bella take your clothes off, I want to see how badly your hurt." Alice demanded. I began to protest but Rose cut me off.

"Bella take your clothes off or I will do it for you," she sounded serious and as bossy as Alice did.

I groaned as I carefully removed my shirt and pyjama bottoms, Rose took one look at me and gasped.

Alice shrieked, "What the fuck did he do to you Bella?"

"He didn't do anything to me; we just got a little to enthusiastic last night that's all. It's not Edwards fault so just chill out ok." I was pleading, hoping they weren't going to hate Edward for doing this.

"You can't be serious Bella; your not going to defend what he's done to you are you?" Alice was furious her eyes were narrowed into slits.

Rose leaned over and swept the hair from my neck exposing the bruises and bite mark on my neck.

"What the fuck?" She exploded, "Bella did he fucken bite you, what the fuck did he do that for?" She moved closer to inspect the wound, "You're going to be scarred for life Bella, fuck I'm gonna kick Edward's ass for this; the crazy son of a bitch."

I pulled my hair back over the wound. "It's nothing Rose would you please let it go," I put my clothes back on and headed for the door "I really need to get some sleep you girl's, I'll see you later ok and please don't you dare fucken give Edward a hard time, he feels bad enough about it already. I mean it Rose, Alice you better not say anything to him."

I left the room I could hear Alice and Rose having a whispered conversation, I chose to ignore it. All I wanted to do was sleep. I got into bed and waited for Edward.

There was a gentle knock on the door "Bella may I come in please?" I smiled at Edwards's polite manner.

"Sure babe, come on in," I said in a cheerful voice trying to put him at ease.

He opened the door and smiled at me widely as he crossed the room to my bed; "how are you feeling?" His voice full of concern.

"I'm fine Edward how are you?" I smiled at him encouragingly; I could tell he was still in a fragile state.

"Ok I guess," he answered honestly

"Edward Cullen if you do not stop moping around I will kick your sorry ass out of my bed. Now could you please pass me that bong and that bowl of weed, I feel like a pipe before bed."

He grinned at me as he moved to retrieve the bong; he packed me a pipe and passed it over.

I relished the feeling as the high washed over me, helping to calm the horrors of the come down from the meth. I passed the pipe back to Edward and pulled back the covers so he could join me in bed.

We snuggled down together, and I felt secure in his embrace.

I closed my eyes; feeling myself drift towards unconsciousness. I felt Edwards face in my hair and I smiled when I felt him inhale deeply, he mumbled something that sounded like I love you Bella, but that couldn't be right, we'd only known each other a couple of days.


	13. Chapter 13 Time to Talk

**A/N: I thought it was about time Edward and Bella got to know each other a little better, it can't be all sex and drugs. As usual thank you to all those who have reviewed this story and feel free to continue with the feed back it's much appreciated.**

**DISCLAIMER: S Meyer owns twilight, I only own my own twisted mind:)**

**CHAPTER 13: TIME TO TALK…**

I awoke to Alice whispering in my ear, "Bella, sorry to wake you, but we're going up the mountain soon and we were wondering if you wanted to Come with us?"

"What time is it?" I croaked my throat was dry and felt furry.

"Eight thirty, we tried to wake you guys for dinner last night but we couldn't get a response from either of you." She said apologetically.

"Oh don't worry about me Alice I'm not going anywhere today, but you guys go have fun, oh hang on, Edward did you want to go snowboarding today?"

"No I want to stay with you," he grinned at me, placing feather light kisses along my shoulder.

"Fine, I'll see you later and don't think you're going to spend the night holed up in this room either Bells; you two are coming out with us tonight even if I have to get Emmett and Jaz to drag your sorry ass out the door." I groaned as she stomped out of the room slamming the door behind her.

"Fuck thank god she's going out for the day, there's nothing worse than that demon pixie on the come down," I muttered and Edward laughed.

"So how are you feeling today?" He whispered as he sucked my earlobe gently.

"Not too bad a little sore in places, but nothing a hot bath won't fix," I hinted.

Edward slipped out of bed with a smile as he headed for the bathroom, I laid my head back on the pillow and tried not to think about how sore I really was. I felt like I had been hit by a bus, every single part of me ached. I doubted I'd be in any fit state to snowboard for the rest of the week at least.

I very much doubted if I would even be able to get out of bed for the rest of the week, I couldn't really feel disgruntled especially when I thought about spending the rest of the week in bed with Edward.

"Bella the baths ready," Edward's velvety voice brought me back from my thoughts, I rose slowly from the bed trying not to stumble or cry out in pain.

I could barely walk, I was momentarily speechless when I reached the bathroom, Edward had all the candles alight and there was the most intoxicating spicy smell rising with the steam from the bathwater.

"Edward this looks and smells divine." I sidled over to kiss him before I slipped into the bathwater with a grateful sigh.

The hot water felt unbelievably good on my skin and my frigid muscles were beginning to relax already, my knees, wrists and ankles stung a bit but overall I already felt better. I looked over at Edward, expecting him to join me in the bath.

He shook his head as if he had heard my thoughts.

"Bella I need to get clean clothes, but I want you to come over to my chalet when you've finished in here, you haven't been there yet and I want to show you around." I could not help but pout an sulk a little when he said he wouldn't join me in the bath, but I agreed to meet him at his chalet later

He leaned over to place a tender kiss on my lips before he left the room.

The snow was falling lightly as I made my way to Edward's chalet. It was so beautiful here, like being in one of those winter settings encased in a glass bubble that you shake allowing the snow to fall over the scene.

I knocked on Edward's door, there was no reply so I let myself in, I smiled when I heard U2 playing on the stereo, good choice in music I thought to myself.

"Edward are you here?" I called out from the doorway I didn't want to wander through his place uninvited.

His head appeared from a doorway off the long hallway that stretched out in front of me.

"Sorry Bella I didn't hear you knock come through, are you hungry? I cooked you breakfast," he kissed my cheek as I stepped into the cavernous kitchen.

"I'm starving," I laughed when my stomach rumbled in agreement. I made my way over to the table, which he'd laid for us complete with steaming hot coffee and fresh orange juice, "Cool place you have here by the way."

"Yeah we're thinking of buying it, the owner said we could come and stay to see if we liked the place."

"That was nice of them," I watched Edward slide a stack of pancakes drizzled in maple syrup onto my plate.

He poured us both coffee, sat down in the chair opposite me, and began to eat his breakfast.

"Yum Edward these pancakes are delicious," I said in between mouthfuls, "Do you enjoy cooking then?" I was keen to get to know Edward better and that question seemed as good as any to start with.

"Yeah I do, I actually find it quite therapeutic, how about you do you like to cook?"

"No not really that's more Rose's thing" I smiled internally remembering what a complete disaster I am in the kitchen.

We shared light banter with each other as we finished our breakfast. I couldn't believe how easy it was to be with Edward, as I watched him sip his coffee I realised I was totally infatuated with him.

I poured another coffee as I listen to him tell me about some of the things he does in New York, when he saw I had finished my breakfast he began to clear the table, I got up to help packing our dirty dishes into the dishwasher.

Edward's arms encircled my waist, his lips pressing against the delicate skin of my neck, "So Bella now we're fed what would you say to playing a few games of pool with me?" His eyes glinted with the same spark as Rose's did when she got competitive.

"Um.. Sure why not I haven't played pool in years," I hustled, at home Rose, Alice and I often played pool at a bar up the street from where we lived. I followed him down the long narrow hallway to the room at the very end.

My jaw dropped as I took in the sight before me, the room was huge; an ornate pool table sat in the centre of the huge space, with a table tennis table was set off to one side of the room. One entire wall was lined with the old style arcade games and two large leather couches with matching chairs were set out before a large stone fireplace that contained a roaring fire.

A huge cherry wood bar ran along the entire length of one wall, which was well stocked with every kind of spirit or liqueur you could think of.

"Edward this place is awesome, why the hell have we been hanging out in our boring Chalet when we could have been over here playing with all these awesome games. He shrugged his shoulders and laughed, I rolled my eyes at him as I went to the pool table and racked up the first game.

I broke first scattering the balls all over the table and sinking the number four, so I'm on unders.

"Bella do you mind if I ask you a few questions?" Edward smirked, as I went to play my shot and missed the ball completely.

Um.. Sure what is that you want to know?" I replayed my shot and sunk the five ball.

I moved around the table lining up my next shot when he finally spoke.

"Everything, where were you born, where you grew up, what are your parents like, what's your favourite colour, song, food, flower? Where do you live in New York, do you have a boyfriend back home?" He finished with a sly smile.

I was so distracted that I messed up my shot, I grumbled as I stepped back from the pool table.

"God Edward what is this? Twenty bloody questions" I teased as I watched him line up his shot.

He looked up at me with that crooked smile I loved so much.

"Bella I told you, I want to know every single thing about you there is to know."

"Fine I'll tell you but don't blame me if I bore you to death," I grouched.

"I can't imagine there's anything boring about you Bella," I rolled my eyes as I watched him sink his shot and line up another one.

"Well I was born in a in a remote village in Zambia where my parents were situated at the time, when I were six months old my parents, Charlie and Renee, were killed in an airline crash. It was the Mount Erubus disaster when they were visiting Antarctica in 1979, they produced documentaries about different regions and wildlife on the planet."

"I'm sorry to hear about your parents Bella," Edward sounded so sincere it brought a smile to my lips.

"It's all good Edward, obviously I don't remember them so I can't miss them. We were brought up by Renee's sister Victoria and her husband James, they have been amazing parents to us. Anyway I graduated Oxford university with a masters degree in English Literature, my favourite food is sushi and I love chocolate, my favourite colour is purple, I love most types of music but my favourite song is 'One' by U2. I love Daisy's of any type and frangipani's, my favourite book is Wuthering Heights. I don't have a boyfriend in New York and, finally Rose, Alice and I each own an apartment next to each other on Park Avenue, and contrary to how I have behaved in the last few days I am in fact usually a very quiet, reserved person not a sex crazed crack whore."

Edward laughed as I lined up my shot and sunk the nine ball in the corner pocket. I only needed to sink the three the seven and eight ball and I would win, so I concentrated hard I wanted to beat Edward. Taking my shot before turning to Edward and asking, "So what's your story?"

"Well I was born in Hawaii, as were Emmett and Jasper, raised in Beverly Hills. My mum Esme is an anterior decorator my dad Carlisle is chief of staff at Grace Fern private hospital. My favourite colour is brown.."

"Brown" I snorted, "Brown is such a bland, boring colour."

"Brown is a warm colour, it's a sensual colour, especially chocolate brown, you could drown in that colour." Edward smirked. I rolled my eyes.

"I stand corrected brown is a warm colour, so what else?"

"My favourite food is Miso soup, Favourite song is with or without you by U2. I graduated from Harvard with a master's degree in business and I'm part owner of Cullen Enterprises along with Jasper and Emmett. We share an apartment overlooking central park, and that's about it really, oh yeah and I'm single." He smiled his beautiful crooked smile and he looked so angelic.

My heart began beating double time as where he lived registered in my brain, "Hmm you live by central park, I live by central park, are we neighbours?"

"Well I doubt very much we'd be neighbours Bella, because I'm sure if I'd seen you anywhere in my building we would of been taking this vacation together." .

"Ha ha, very funny, now tell me where you live, oh unless you don't want to tell me because you're afraid I'll stalk you, I totally understand if you don't feel comfortable divulging that information" I teased and laughed when he rolled his eyes at me.

"Upper West Side; and Bella I'd be very happy to have you as a stalker," he chortled as he leaned over to kiss my cheek.

"You might regret saying that babe; but how cool is it that you live so close to me, we'll be able to hang back home," I thought about what I'd just said and quickly back tracked "that's if you want to, I mean. I understand if you want it to leave it as a holiday fling."

"Bella you're completely absurd of course I wanna hang out with you back home, I thought I was interviewing for the job of your personal bed warmer, I'm pretty sure that requires me to be in which ever bed you happen to be sleeping in."

I mussed his coppery sex hair before I took my shot; I sunk the eight ball and won the game, Edward scowled slightly when I beat him, but quickly recovered and congratulated me with a searing kiss.

We spent the next couple of hours playing games, I kicked his butt in pool, darts and table tennis. He caned me at air hockey, pinball and galaxy raiders.

I'd had a great day getting to know Edward, the more I learnt about him the harder I was falling for him, there were so many attractive qualities to Edward; he's warm, intelligent, funny, caring, polite, not to mention a drop dead gorgeous sex god.

He pulled me into his embrace bringing his mouth to mine as he pressed himself gently against me, walking me backward until my back met the side of pool table. I felt myself pout when he pulled his lips from mine until he pulled my top over my head tossing it to the floor.

when he removed my sweat pants and found I was wearing no panties his eyes clouded over with lust and a low growl escaped his lips.

He lifted me onto the pool table before kissing me with undisguised hunger, moving his lips roughly against mine before he slid them to my neck, his tongue licking over his mark. I shivered in anticipation as he placed a line of feather light kisses down my collarbone kissing a trail down to my already hard nipples.

I sighed in satisfaction when his tongue flicked across each of the sensitive buds, I could feel the moisture seeping from my core.

I tugged at his shirt, pulling it over his head roughly, as he yanked off his jeans and boxers, his cock was hard and beautiful. I wrapped my fingers around it pumping it slowly as I ran my thumb over his slit smearing the precum pooling there. His lips moved to ear sucking on my lobe he whispered, "Bella you're so beautiful, I feel like I can't get enough of you, I wanna taste you baby."

"Get up here on the table with me" I whispered, pulling on his arm as he climbed up next to me.

We shifted to the centre careful not to rip the velvet. I pushed him down straddling his chest" I wanna taste you too babe," I murmured as I took his cock in my mouth, swirling my tongue over his slit, sighing heavily as I tasted his salty precum.

Edward's fingers gripped my hips as he pulled me toward him, plunging his tongue it to my wet core I shivered with pleasure.

"Mmm..So good Edward," I hummed around his cock the vibrations causing him to shudder lightly.

I brought him deeper into my mouth, letting him hit the back of my throat, sucking him harder with each bob of my head.

His tongue and fingers were working me into a frenzy I could feel myself getting wetter by the second, the pleasure was intensifying in my core; threatening to engulf me any second.

"Ed..ward god I'm going to.. god.. EDWARD," I sucked him harder as he thrust his hips forward driving himself deeper into me, "Fuck Bella you're beautiful mouth feels so good around my cock."

He was still licking me, his tongue running lightly over my clit bringing me to another orgasm. He thrust his hips again, growling my name repeatedly as he shot his thick creamy seed down my throat.

I was still sucking him clean when I heard something to cause my blood to run cold.

"EDWARD, BELLA, are you here?" Emmett's booming voice echoed down the hallway and through the games room.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Just a little fun and games for now. Hope you enjoy it. All constructive criticism is welcomed ad appreciated.**

**DISCLAIMER: S Meyer owns twilight.**

**___________________________________________________________________________________________________**

**CHAPTER 14: ALL FUN AND GAMES FOR NOW..**

I managed to get my pants and sweater on before Emmett made it into the room, Edward only managed his boxers and T-shirt, his jeans were still on the floor.

"And what may I ask are you two doing?" Emmett bellowed as he bounded through the door followed closely by Rose, Jasper and the Pixie.

"Nothing much, we've just been playing table tennis," I said, trying to look innocent but not doing a very good job of it because Alice's eyes narrowed in suspicion, not surprisingly she wasn't fooled.

"Oh really Bella, is that so; Well would you like to explain to us then; why Edward's jeans are lying on the floor and your pants and sweater are on inside out, not to mention the fact you've got the worst case of sex hair I've ever seen, apart from Edwards of course."

She smirked at me triumphantly poking out her tongue, I scowled and flipped her the finger.

"Nice one Pixie; nothing gets past you does it?" Emmett chortled; Alice gave him a winning smile, so I flipped him the finger too, making him laugh louder.

Rose came to my rescue, when her highly indignant voice rang out through the room, "Emmett why did you not tell me you had this awesome games room?" She demanded, "Were you afraid I'd kick your ass at every game," She gave him the evil eye, she was clearly pissed off that she had been missing an opportunity to get competitive with Emmett.

"Exactly Rosie; my ego is way too big to face defeat at the hands of a girl, even one as hot as you are baby."

She looked at me and grinned, "By the way Bella we brought pizzas for you and Edward, they're in the kitchen if you're hungry."

"Thanks Rose; I'm starving, are you hungry Edward?"

"Ravenous." He picked up his jeans and pulled them on roughly, he grabbed my hand and led me from the room.

We ate our pizza quickly, washing it down with a couple of glasses of Merlot. I was just finishing my last mouthful of pizza when the demon pixie sidled into the kitchen; she stood watching us for a moment with her hands on her hips.

"What's up Pixie? You look like you've got something to say, so you might as well spit it out and tell us what events you have planned to torture us with tonight."

She came to sit at the table with us, " Bella, Edward; we've decided to have a games night tonight, a non sexual games night I mean, and we expect you to participate, so there will be no going to bed early or backing out and I don't want to hear any other lame ass excuse either. And I want to go to a club later tonight and you two are coming with me."

Alice glared at us sternly, waiting to pounce if we dared to refuse to stay and play games with her, "well do you promise to stay and play games tonight? I'm not taking no for an answer."

I groaned loudly, I knew what that meant, another night of no sleep and agreeing to involve ourselves in the Pixie's deviate games. I silently cursed Jasper and Emmett for giving Alice speed; she was manic enough without the help of illicit stimulants.

"Fine Pixie, we'll stay and play your twisted games with you, if it will stop you nagging." I grumbled, Edward laughed and winked at Alice, who smiled back at him like the cat who got the cream.

I rolled my eyes at her and I shook my head.

She poked her tongue out at me as she stood up from the table; clapping her hands and bouncing on the balls of her feet, she kissed us both on the top of our heads, "Yay, thanks Bells; games are always more fun when you're involved." I snorted at her and leaned over to muss her hair.

She raced from the room, and I laughed when I heard her yelling out to the others how she had convinced us to join in the fun. Yip life was all fun and games for the pixie.

After dinner, Edward and I braved the near blizzard conditions to go back to my chalet to retrieve our stash and bong, we had barely made in the front door when he pulled me into his arms. He kissed the top of my head, breathing in the scent of my snow sodden hair.

He held me close but said nothing as he rested his head on mine.

I pulled back to look into his eyes, I could see worry there and I thought I knew what was wrong, even before he decided to voice it, "Bella you know we don't have to get wasted again tonight, I'd be happy to just chill out in the games room if that's what you want to do."

He looked at me hopefully, but I knew Alice wasn't going to let us back out of tonight's entertainment so I tried to put his mind at ease.

"Babe you need to stop worrying, it'll be all good; we're on vacation so we might as well have as much fun as we can before we have to return to reality." I knew that he was worried about hurting me again, so I tried to soothe him," We'll just have keep the red hot lust to a minimum tonight and I promise to kick your ass if you're too rough with me."

I didn't sound confident on the idea that we would be able to control ourselves under the influence and Edward wasn't looking convinced either, I knew he didn't really want either of us to take drugs tonight but he never pressed the issue.

I brought my lips to his, teasing his mouth with my tongue before letting his tongue dominate mine; I let my hands slide down to his buttocks giving each one firm squeeze as I pushed my body against his, a low husky groan rumbled from his throat, sending a shot of pleasure straight to my core.

A distraction was my next attack, but Edward seemed to guess my plan and countered me by breaking the kiss. I pouted sulkily when he reminded me that a demonic pixie would probably be sending out her evil minions to seek and destroy us if she thought we might be trying to bail out on her, and it would probably be best not to start something we had no time to finish.

I scowled as he untangled himself from my embrace and headed for my room, While Edward grabbed our supplies and my camera, I took the opportunity to put my clothes on the right way.

When he returned to the kitchen, he was still looking worried, "Bella are you sure about this? I don't know if this is a good idea, I have a hard enough time controlling my overwhelming lust for you when I'm sober. I couldn't forgive myself if I lost control and hurt you again."

"Edward it's going to be alright; let's just go out dancing and have a good time. I trust you baby, I know you wouldn't do anything to hurt me. So no more freaking out ok, now we better get back before the Demon Pixie comes looking for us."

I pulled the door shut behind me as we stepped out into the freezing night air.

When we walked into the games room Jasper and Alice were playing pool, Rose was propped up at the bar swaying along to the music, Emmett was playing barman; he grinned evilly when he saw me.

"Ready for more fun and games Bella?" He chortled and winked at me as he passed me a straw and pointed to the mirror sitting on the bar.

I grinned back at him as I grabbed the straw from his hand; I gave Edward a quick kiss and bent over the mirror, doing a couple of lines up each nostril before passing him the straw. He hesitated briefly before taking the straw from my hand.

Emmett passed me a cocktail, which I gratefully accepted, and downed the glass of pale fluffy liquid in one. I let my eyes close, enjoying the slight burning sensation the alcohol caused in my throat.

"Yum Emmett, what's this cocktail called?" I murmured as I passed him my empty glass.

He refilled it and handed it back to me, "It's called a fluffy duck Bells and I probably should warn you; they're damn potent. Actually, I'm really looking forward to partying with you tonight after you've drunk six or seven of these baby's, I can only imagine what kind of trouble you'll be getting into."

His booming laugh erupted around the room, causing me to groan, and Edward to hiss angrily through his teeth.

I inwardly cursed Emmett, I wished he could see how agitated Edward already was, comments like that were sure to irritate him further, so I was extremely grateful when Rose claimed Emmett's attention.

"Emmett; let's challenge Jasper and Alice to a game of pool, I feel like kicking some pixie ass," she declared as she slipped off her stool and went to join Jasper and a hyped up Alice at the pool table.

I watched the pixie's face, recognised the manic gleam in her eye, and knew she was concocting some crazy twist to make the game more exciting, and if I knew Alice, which I did, the twist would definitely involve nudity.

"Rose, Emmett, how would you feel about making this game a little more interesting?"

"What did you have in mind then little Miss?" Emmett's face was alight with enthusiasm; he could barely contain his huge grin as he waited for her to tell him the variation she had planned for the game.

I laughed to myself when I realised how similar those two were, both of them were fucking deviants who were up for anything, and I was secretly glad those two hadn't hooked up.

"Well; I was thinking, what if the losers of our game have to strip naked and then play Bells and Edward for the chance to win their clothes back. If the losers beat Bella and Edward then they have to strip and play for the chance to win their clothes back."

Emmett laughed hysterically and quickly agreed to Alice's terms, Rose and Jasper didn't look happy at the prospect of getting naked.

"Let the games begin," Alice squealed as she leaned over the table to play her first shot and missed the ball she was aiming for.

I leant over to whisper in Edward's ear, "Well babe I'm pretty confident that Emmett and Rose will annihilate Jasper and Alice. And to be honest I think we'll beat them too, so this should be fun and a good payback for the pixie."

Edward laughed softly and nodded in agreement, I toked a few pipes before passing it along to him.

The game was hilarious to watch, Rose and Emmett as I predicted annihilated Jasper and Alice and so did we. The pixie was far too wasted to be embarrassed about cavorting around naked; she stripped off her clothes leaving them strewn across the room and started helping Jaz out of his.

Jasper seemed mortified at having to be naked in front of us, but being the good sport he was; he honoured the rules of the game. I tried to keep my eyes averted from his naked form, but I was treated to a full frontal view of him when he turned around to talk to Edward.

I looked down at my feet in embarrassment, I could feel the blush colouring my cheeks. As I cast my eyes downward I saw Jasper smirk at me, and all of a sudden he seemed as comfortable naked as Alice did, as he chatted to Edward.

I was getting distracted by Jasper's naked body and after checking Edward's attention was not directed at me I chanced a quick glance at Jasper's body through my lashes.

I had to admit I was impressed with what I saw; Jasper had a buff body. His muscles were well defined and he had a smooth hairless chest, I let my eyes drift down to the hard plains of his stomach before taking in his cock.

He looked only slightly smaller than Edward and I found myself wondering briefly if he could use his as well as Edward could.

My blush deepened at the thought and I glanced at Edward checking to see if he'd noticed, he was still happily chatting to Jaz. I looked over at Rose, whose eyes were twinkling, and I knew she'd seen me checking out Jasper's body. By the way she smirked at me, I could tell she was just as impressed with Jaz' physique as I was.

I flashed a quick grin and winked at her as I downed the last of my delicious cocktail.

Emmett was right these cocktails were potent. By my fifth one, I was starting to slur my words a little, though the meth was keeping me awake and standing.

I passed my empty glass to Emmett and his boisterous laugh echoed through the room when I asked him for another 'does he fuck.' "Oh Bells I've been waiting all night for you to say that," he chortled as he handed me another drink.

Edward frowned at me when I gulped down my cocktail, "Bella don't you think you should slow down on the alcohol you'll regret it the morning." I was about to tell him to chill out but I was side tracked when Alice climbed onto the bar and started dancing, yelling out to Jaz that she was ready to go clubbing.

Edward kept his eyes firmly on mine; as Alice gyrated naked in front of him, I could see the embarrassment in his eyes, he was obviously not comfortable having my naked sister in such close proximity. I couldn't help but smirk at him he looked like he would rather be anywhere else at this moment.

I leaned over to whisper in his ear, "Now you know why we try to keep the Pixie off drugs, the girl loses her modesty along with her inhibitions." He laughed loudly, I could see him relax slightly, but I could tell he was still a little edgy.

"I think you're a little under dressed for clubbing Pixie," Rose giggled as Alice wiggled her bum toward at Edward as she danced her way along the bar. When she passed by Emmett he slapped her ass, laughing heartily at her shrill squeal.

I looked at Jasper to see how he was reacting to Alice dancing naked in front of his brothers and was surprised when my eyes met the penetrating blue of his, I felt myself blush when he gave me a quick wink and a small bright smile before turning his gaze on Alice.

When Alice finished her impromptu bar dance she took Jasper's out stretched hand and leapt into his arms. Jasper obviously wasn't prepared for that because they crashed to the floor in a tangle of naked limbs, Emmett and Edward howled with laughter as Rose and I shook our heads.

I picked up my camera and took a dozen shots of Alice and Jasper rolling naked on the floor, mentally reminding myself to edit my memory card before showing James and Victoria our holiday photos. I felt a small twinge of guilt as I thought of how James and Victoria would react if they knew how we were behaving on this holiday. No doubt, they'd be horrified, and our parents would probably be rolling in their graves.

Alice stumbled to her feet and started trying to dress herself; she grabbed me in a choker hold to steady herself as she fought to pull up her lace panties. Jasper on the other hand was dressed in seconds and promptly came to help Alice get her clothes on.

As soon as she was dressed, Alice was back in manic mode.

"Let's go get ready for clubbing Bells," She squealed as she took Rose and I by the hand and pulled us from the room, I gave Edward an exasperated smile as I left and I could hear him laughing as Alice pulled me down the hallway.

Half an hour later we were dressed and ready to go, I was just adjusting my silver mini dress when Rose wandered into my room.

Smiling at me, she picked up my camera and took a few photos of me, as I coated my lashes in a generous amount of mascara.

"You look really hot in that dress bells, I can guarantee Edward's gonna have a hard on for you all night when he sees you dressed it that," she chortled as she fiddled with the buttons on my camera trying to view the photos she'd just taken; I was startled when I heard her gasp loudly.

I leaned over to see what caused her gasp and felt the blood drain from my face. She had flicked on the photos of me bound and blindfolded on the bed, she stared at the images with a frown on her face.

I waited nervously for her to say something, when she finally looked at me her eyes were soft, "Bells, I'm not going to give you a lecture or anything, I know you're a big girl who can look after herself. I just want you to be careful tonight and try not to let yourself get so far out of control that you end up hurt again ok." She hugged me tightly and kissed my cheek.

I nodded my head and smiled at her, I wanted to say something about not having to worrying about me, but it seemed easier to stay silent.

She didn't say anything else, so I grabbed my leather jacket and her hand and pulled her from the room.

We went back to Edward's chalet to do a couple more lines and drink a few more cocktails before we left for the club. I was feeling pretty wasted as we got in the car and headed into town.

It had been all fun and games so far this evening and I hoped the rest of the evening passed the same way.


	15. Return of the green eyed monster

**I got extra computer time tonight so I thought I'd update again. As always thanks to those who have reviewed so far. feel free to give me your feedback.**

**DISCLAIMER: S MEYER OWNS TWILIGHT.**

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**CHAPTER 15: RETURN OF THE GREEN EYED MONSTER..**

Twenty minutes later were piling out of the Volvo; Edward had parked in a public car park just up the street from our destination. As we walked toward the club, we could hear the heavy thud of the music echoing in the still night air, the queue to get into the club snaked all the way up the street.

We milled around on the sidewalk deciding if we should queue when Rose and Alice walked over to the doorman and within seconds, Alice was calling us over. It never ceased to amaze me what a formidable flirting team they made, no doorman had ever refused them entry.

As soon as we made it inside Emmett headed to the bar for drinks, I pressed myself into Edward as I scoped out the club.

The place was packed, bodies were swaying on the dance floor to the pounding beat of the music, and there were people packed into every available space, there was barely space to move. Edward kept his arm around my waist constantly leaning into me to whisper how beautiful and sexy I was, in my ear.

Edward's whispered words were making me wet and I was already keen to ditch the stuffy club. All I wanted to do was take him home and spend the night ravishing him.

Emmett returned with our drinks "Follow me," he said as he walked past the tray of drinks in his hands. He led us up some stairs to a private floor with a few other partygoers. We sat down in the nearest booth and I grabbed my cocktail.

"Here Bells I got you two 'does he fucks', since they don't seem to last long in your hands," Emmett was passing me another drink; I couldn't help but grin at him he was starting to know me well.

My drinks were gone within minutes and I was feeling good so I ordered another round of cocktails and a couple of round of shots, from a passing waiter. Once those were gone, I looked for the waiter to order more. I glanced at Edward and he did not look happy.

"Bella don't you think you should slow up a bit on the alcohol? You're going to suffer for it tomorrow." Edward tried to hide the disapproval in his voice but I could here a trace of it.

"Edward I'm fine I'm so amped up and just keen to have a good time, so relax babe let's just go with the flow." I brought my mouth to his and felt him relax as he got into the kiss.

I broke away when I heard the first few bars of Ciara and JT's song; love sex magic start blaring through the club, Alice and Rose pulled me from Edward and dragged me to the stairs, within seconds we were on the dance floor we were grinding up against each other as the beat pulsed through me.

_1 2 3 here we go_

_Here we go talk to em_

_Ya touch is so magic to me_

_Strangest things can happen_

_The way you react to me_

_I wanna do something you can't imagine_

I looked up at Edward as I swayed to the music; he was watching me over the balcony, a look of pure lust clear upon his face as I slid my hands down my body.

_Imagine if it was a million me's talking sexy to ya like that_

_Ya think ya can handle, boy if I give you my squeeze_

_And I need to push it right back_

_Baby show me, show me_

_What's you're favourite trick you wanna use on me_

_And I'll be flowing, and going till no clothin but shoes on me_

_Ooh baby_

I continued to watch Edward as I gyrated to the music, smiling as I thought about the night he fucked me in nothing but my boots, his facial expression was pure lust, I was becoming to know it well. I ran my hands over my body; I knew I was driving him crazy.

_All night show, just you in the crowd_

_Doing tricks you never seen_

_And I bet I can make you believe in love and sex magic_

_Everything aint what it seems_

_I have my hands and I got you_

_And ya feel so good assistin me_

_But now it's my turn to watch_

_I aint gonna stop you_

_If you wanna grab my neck, talk sexy to me like that_

_Just do what I taught you, girl when I give you my heat_

_And I need you to push it right back_

As I swayed with Rose and Alice, a pair of strong warm arms grabbed my hips from behind and pulled me closer to their body. A low husky voice whispered in my ear, "Hey sugar you really know how to move that body." I could feel his prominent erection pressed against my back.

I was so wasted I didn't really think about what I was doing as I let out a low moan and I pressed myself against the stranger who was swaying with me to the music.

_Baby show me, show me_

_What's your favourite trick that you wanna use on me_

_And I'll volunteer_

_And I'll be flowing and going to the distant place_

_Ooh baby_

I turned to see who was grinding themselves against me; my brown eyes met a pair of warm black one. He was nice looking guy, his skin a beautiful coffee colour a set of pearly white teeth glowed in the semi darkness.

I moved closer pressing myself into his warm body; he looked Native American about twenty-five years old. "I'm Jake," he whispered in my ear as his hands ran over my ass.

_All night showing, just you and ya crowd_

_Doin tricks you've never seen_

_And I bet I can make you believe_

_In love and sex and magic_

_So let me drive my body around ya_

_I bet you know what I mean_

_Cause you know that I can make you believe_

_In love and sex and magic_

I was shocked as I felt myself being yanked violently out of Jake's arms. "What the fuck…" I started to protest until I turned and saw Edward, the look on his face was dangerous almost murderous.

"What do you think you're doing?" Jake demanded, eyeing Edward with distaste.

"That's my girl you're groping there asshole," Edward spat as he pulled me closer to him, "Keep your fucking hands off her, she's mine."

"Hey dickhead I didn't her complaining," Jake hissed.

I pulled out of Edward's grip and stalked back up stairs to our table, I was seething. How dare Edward act as if I was his possession.

I downed both of the cocktails Emmett had waiting for me as I looked over the balcony for Edward.

I saw Jake take a swing at Edward and miss, Edward's fist connected with jakes nose and blood splattered everywhere. Edward spun on his heel and stormed back upstairs grabbing me roughly and pulling me close.

"Edward what the fuck was all that about?" I demanded glaring at him.

" You have to ask Bella, do you think I'm just going to stand by and let some fuckwit sleeze bag touch you like that? He can't touch you like that, only I can touch you like that. He can't have you Bella, I want you all for myself, you're mine." He ranted at me his eyes flashing in the light, he was completely unaware that everyone at the table was staring at him.

"What the fuck Edward you don't own me I'm not your shiny new toy that you don't want to share." I pulled away from him and made my way down the stairs, I was out of there. I was seething, fuck Edward ruining my night, why did he have to be so uptight I was only dancing with the guy.

I was nearly at the Volvo when Edward grabbed my arm, "Wait Bella please," he pleaded.

I spun around to face him trying to keep my anger at bay and waited for him to say something.

"Bella I know you're not my possession .I'm sorry I acted that way I just couldn't stand to see him touching you like that. I want to be the only one who ever touches you like that. Bella I've never felt this way about anyone before, I'm in love with you Bella."

Edward looked into my eyes; I knew he was waiting for me to speak. I was momentarily stunned, I knew that I was falling in love with Edward but I had no idea he felt the same. I felt my anger start to wane.

"I love you to Edward," I whispered. A huge smile broke across his face as he lifted me in his arms and carried me to the Volvo, laying me on the cold metal bonnet. He slid his hand up my skirt and growled when his fingers met no fabric barrier

"Oh god no panties Bella, you're such a bad girl, teasing me all the time," he slipped his fingers into my wet core, "So wet baby," Edward growled as his free hand moved to unbutton his jeans pulling them and his boxers to his knees he removed his fingers from me causing me to whimper.

As I watched his sparkling eyes darkened perceptibly, I had seen that look before, lust was taking over his eyes turned flat black and dead looking. I began to panic a bit; I knew Edward was losing control.

He grabbed my ankles roughly and slid me down the bonnet resting my legs against his shoulders; he thrust into me roughly burying himself to the hilt. Gone were the loving sentiments of a few moments ago as he took me forcefully.

I cried out in both pain and pleasure as Edward began pounding into me, there was no gentle build up no loving feeling to the sex, it was bordering on violent. I could barely make out what was going on with Edward, one minute he's telling me he loves me next he fucking me violently in a public car park.

"I'm going to fuck you so hard Bella you'll forget the name of any guy who's already fucked you and any guy who wants to in the future. I'll show you it's only my name you scream when you cum, because only I make you feel that good, only I know how to fuck you until you're gushing for me. No one can have you Bella; I'm going to show you that you're mine."

While part of me was frightened because I knew Edward had lost control, the other part was focusing its attention on that fact that I was teetering on the brink of my climax. Was I sick to be climaxing when Edward was being so rough so uncaring to whether he was hurting me probably, but the combination of alcohol meth was clouding my judgement.

I closed my eyes but Edward's growl forced them open

"Bella you will not close your eyes when I'm fucking you, you're going to watch me fuck you hard and you're going to cum screaming my name," he commanded, I looked into his eyes and saw the flat dead eyes I had first seen only days before.

His pace was becoming frenzied as he drove himself into me over and over, "tell me Bella who you cum for, whose name do you scream?" he demanded roughly.

"I only come for you Edward; it's your name I scream" I gasped as my orgasm washed over me; I thrashed around on the bonnet as Edward's name repeatedly fell from my lips.

"That's right Baby. Don't you ever forget, it's only my name you're going to scream...Fuck...Bells love...you...want..you..so..bad..mine all mine." Edward grunted as he made his final thrusts allowing himself to be carried away by the intensity of his climax shuddering violently against me as his breath coming in gasps.

I lay still for a moment not wanting to look in his eyes. He withdrew from me quickly fixing his boxers and jeans. I slid from the bonnet and adjusted my dress. I tried not to cry as my mind scrambled to make some sense of what just happened.

I never said anything and neither did Edward, the silence spiralled uncomfortably and I stared at my feet. My mind was confused he told me he loved me but then his actions just then didn't really reconcile with his words.

I didn't know if this possessive side of Edward was brought on by, the over indulgence in drugs and alcohol or if it was a dominant part of his personality he was trying to hide.

I looked up at him to find him watching me intently, his eyes were still dark and he seemed cold distant. I shivered involuntarily; to be honest Edward was scaring me a little.

"Um.. Edward I'm going back to the club I think I need a drink." I turned my back on him and began to walk away.

"Bella don't walk away from me," Edward growled, I kept walking I couldn't deal with this right now I just felt like being around other people, "Please Bella I'm sorry so very sorry." I stopped walking spinning around to face him.

"Look Edward I can't deal with this right now ok I just want to go inside and get a drink."

I turned to walk back to the club when I heard a sound that turned my blood to ice, a terrible half-strangled sob of excruciating pain echoed around the parking lot. I turned to see Edward sitting on the ground his head in his hands.

I was back at his side in a second crouching down next to him throwing my arms around him and kissing his beautiful bronzed hair.

"Edward its ok I'm here baby." He pulled me into his lap burying his face in my neck as sobs racked his body. I held him close to me trying to soothe him as he repeatedly told me how sorry he was and how much he loved me.

"I love you too baby, we'll work this out let's just go back to your place and go to bed," I pulled him to his feet kissing him gently before allowing him to unlock the car.

We lay in his bed for hours just staring into each other's eyes; the room was silent except for when Edward was whispering how much he loved me as he stroked my hair.

I forced myself not to think about what had happened, I was in no state to be making rational judgements so I pushed my thoughts and concerns to the back of my mind and concentrated on Edward's face.,

I could have stayed there holding Edward forever but the Demon Pixie had other ideas. They arrived home well after dawn, laughing and chattering as they made their way inside.

She didn't even bother knocking as she stormed through Edwards bedroom door, she was about to launch into a tirade until she looked at us.

"Bella, Edward are you two alright?" She looked at me with concern in her eyes.

"Yeah Alice we're fine, we'll be down later ok," she didn't argue she just gave me her look, the look that told me she would let it go for now.

We stayed in bed for another couple of hours before Alice was back to tell me to get up and come back to our chalet so I could talk to James and Victoria when she called them. I winced slightly as I got out of bed I was in pain I could barely walk again my core felt swollen and bruised.

I kissed Edward goodbye telling him to come over and see me later as I turned to leave he stopped me.

"Bella are you ok, I hurt you again last night didn't I? I am so sorry Bella, I told you I would lose control and hurt you, I'm a monster. You should stay away from me so I can't hurt you anymore." His voice was low, serious and full of pain.

"I'm fine Edward; really I promise I always feel like this in the mornings after a big night. Please stop torturing yourself ok. I'm fine I'll see you soon, promise me you'll come over later." I didn't want to leave him alone right now, I could tell he was going to brood over what happened last night.

I didn't have any choice though; I could hear Alice's shrill voice calling my name, I kissed him softly and said, "I'll see you soon," as I walked out the door.


	16. Chapter 16 Consequence

**A/N: Thank you to those who reviewed. **

**DISCLAIMER: S Meyer owns twilight**

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**CHAPTER 16: CONSEQUENCE…..**

After I had spoken to James and Victoria, I went upstairs and ran myself a deep bath. I sighed in satisfaction as I let the hot water claim me. This is exactly what I had been craving since I arrived in Switzerland, alone time, time to think.

I tried to organise my thoughts. I knew without a doubt that I loved Edward. He was kind, warm, generous and intelligent.

However, there was also a side to him that was Jealous, possessive with a tendency for losing control resulting in violent episodes. The trouble was I didn't know if drugs and alcohol brought out this side of him or if it was a dominant part of his personality in general.

If it were a big part of his personality, how would I cope with that? I didn't like feeling as if I was somebody's possession. I wanted to be free to make my own decisions about who I wanted to be my friends and who I wanted in my life.

I didn't want Edward to be overbearing and over protective, it would drive me mad.

A soft knock on the door interrupted my musings, "Come in," I said, thinking it would be Edward who walked through the door.

I was surprised when I saw Rosalie standing there.

"Hi Bells, do you mind if I talk to you for a minute?"

I didn't really want to talk but I didn't want to be rude so I nodded and smiled warmly at her. She sat on the edge of the bathtub staring thoughtfully into my eyes.

"Bella I'm really worried about you. I can't believe the change I've seen in you in the past few days, since you've been with Edward. I know you like to have a good time Bells but you have never come home black and blue with bruises before. Look at yourself; your body's a mess. This thing you have with Edward; I'm not sure it's healthy for you Bella, he's so intense around you, and he barely leaves your side. He watches your every move even if you just shift in your chair. He broke a guy's nose just for touching you. I don't know Bella I'm scared for you."

She paused giving me a chance to say something.

"Look Rose I'm ok really, you don't have to worry about Edward and me, I know what I'm doing." I tried to brush it off as nothing but I could tell Rose was not convinced or going to let the matter drop.

"I followed you and Edward out of the club last night Bella," she looked embarrassed and I knew why, she had seen Edward fucking me violently. "Bells I'm sorry but it look like he was almost raping you last night," she whispered the last two words hoping to lessen the blow, but it was still a shock to hear her say it. "I was going to intervene but I wasn't sure what was going on".

I notice that you can hardly walk this morning and I bet you have fresh bruising."

"Rose it wasn't like that. I'm ok truly. Edward's not a monster really, I'm pretty sure he only loses control on the combination of meth and alcohol. I don't think he's like that all of the time. I really like Edward a lot Rose; I want to be with him. Please don't give him a hard time, he's disgusted in himself enough and I don't want him to leave me."

I wanted to make sure Rose was back off and not confront Edward.

"Fine Bella I'll leave it for now, but I am going to be watching. If he starts making a habit of it, I'm going to bust his ass. Ok Bells you're my sister and I'm not going to sit back and let some guy hurt you."

"Thanks Rose for being such an awesome sister." I patted her hand as she got up to leave," I'll see you soon ok?" She nodded and smiled as she left the bathroom.

I grabbed a towel and headed for my bed, the time on my bedside clock said it was 11:30 a.m. I lay down on the bed hoping to have a quick nap before Edward arrived. Sleep took me quickly; I was obviously exhausted both physically and emotionally.

I was startled awake by Alice shaking me gently, "Bella are you ok, what did Edward say to you before he left, why haven't you been down stairs yet?" My mind was heavy with sleep, obviously I had know idea what Alice was rambling on about.

I looked around my bed and room; they were Edward free. My eyes rested on the clock, it was eleven p.m. I'd been asleep for nearly twelve hours.

"What's that?" Alice said pointing to a thick cream envelope addressed to me sitting on my spare pillow. I looked at the envelope with trepidation, the fact Edward wasn't beside me only added to the fear building in my chest.

"I don't know, could you please go grab me a glass of water Alice?" I smiled sweetly as I reached for the envelope; once she was gone from sight, I ripped the letter from its casing. My heart began to pound as I studied Edward's elegant writing. Alice handed me my water and left the room.

_My Darling Bella,_

_I cannot even begin to describe how happy I have been since the day you fell into my lap, like a gift from heaven. When I kissed you on the plane I couldn't believe the electricity that coursed through my body, I'd never experienced anything like that before with anybody. From that moment on the plane, I haven't been able to get you off my mind._

_I'm stunned at the intensity of the feelings I have for you Bella and I'm scared of how I can't seem to control this overwhelming want I have for you. You're like a drug to me; sometimes I can't think rationally when I'm around you._

_You are the most beautiful and the most incredible woman I have ever met, so warm, caring and selfless, it makes me want to be with you forever you are my perfect fit. However, I've physically hurt you more than once Bella, a thought that has me sick to my stomach with self-loathing. I cannot believe that you put your trust in me and I hurt you so badly._

_You deserve better than someone like me, Bella. I have realised how unworthy I am of your love. I cannot allow you to keep forgiving my appalling behaviour. Bella you deserve the very best life can offer you. You deserve someone who can love you without continually hurting you and destroying the beautiful soul that you are._

_As much as I am dying inside Bella, I have to set you free. I'm so so sorry I hurt you my precious. This is the only way I know how to protect you from myself._

_I'll be on my way back to New York by the time you read this letter, but I want you to remember that I will always love you. Bella you are my one and only perfect fit._

_I wish you a happy life Bells, one full of love, laughter and the fulfilment of all your wishes and dreams._

_Forever in my Heart my love_

_Edward_

My tears were falling onto the parchment smudging the ink; blurring the words, which were now seared into my memory. He was gone; he had left me alone because he had hurt me physically.

Stupid physical wounds that would heal to become nothing more than a distant memory.

The emotional pain was a million times worse than any physical pain I had ever suffered. I didn't even realise I was gasping for breath until stars burst before my eyes from oxygen deprivation.

I lay down on my pillow and pulled the blankets over my head as the pain washed over me pulling me under the surface.

I don't know how many hours I lay there sobbing, I forced myself to be quiet and pretend I was asleep when Alice and Rose came to check on me.

The moment they closed the door I was sobbing into my pillow again, it was hours later when my mind was finally as exhausted as my body and sleep finally claimed me.


	17. Chapter 17 Reality bites

**A/N: This is a short chapter and there's nothing really to it so I thought I'd post it now. I'd like to thank xoxotwilight4 and team edward lover for posting comments and :). I'd also like to say thank you to twimom34 for the kind review, I'm happy your enjoying the story. I have alot more in store for Bella before I finish this story. Unfortunately for my Bella she learns things the hard way...**

**DISCLAIMER: S Meyer owns twilight...**

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**CHAPTER 17: REALITY BITES…**

The sun was streaming in my windows blinding me when I finally forced my eyelids to open. I was brought further into consciousness when I realised I was not alone, "Edward?" the sound came out in a hoarse cracked whisper.

I could not seem to clear my mind; I had been having this horrific nightmare that Edward had left me and gone home to the States. I turned thinking I would cuddle up to him and make myself feel better, I gasped when I saw it was Alice in the bed next to me.

I lifted my head and saw Rose was lying next to her. That meant only one thing the nightmare was real, Edward had left and I had needed comforting.

"Oh fuck he did leave, shit reality bites." I muttered as I stretched out my sore stiff muscles. I felt like I had been asleep for weeks. I was thirsty, hungry and desperately needed to pee.

I looked over at my sisters' sleeping form, "Alice, Rose" I hissed as I shook Alice gently.

"Bells are you really awake?" Alice asked groggily as she struggled to open her eyes.

"Yes, why were there lots of false alarms?" I had no idea how long I had been asleep, though the clock was reading eight thirty a.m.

"Bella you have been asleep for three days, if you hadn't been rambling in your sleep we would have rushed you to hospital thinking you'd slipped into a coma."

"I've been asleep for three days straight?" I was stunned I had never slept so long in my life.

"You really needed it Bella; you've been through a lot lately your body needed time to heal." Rose said softly giving my shoulder a pat.

"So where are Jasper and Emmett? I thought you lot were joined at the hip." I joked. I wanted to talk so I did not have to think about Edward.

Just thinking his name made my heart ache, my throat constricted and next thing, I knew I was gasping for breath.

Alice put her arms around me "Sssh Bells its ok. We're here for you sweetie." Alice's words did not soothe me and I continued gasping for a couple of minutes before my breathing finally regulated.

"Bella we'd never leave you for a couple of cute guys, they're at their chalet," Alice chided "you must be starving, I'll go make breakfast, and you go have a shower." She bounded out of the bed a natural spring in her step, it never ceased to amaze me how much energy she had.

"You alright Bells?" Rose asked as she scooted over to pull me into her arms. I snuggled into her taking a couple of deep breaths before I nodded.

"Yeah I think so; I just need a shower and some food and water." I pulled away from her and rolled out of bed. I tried to stand but a wave of vertigo hit me and my legs could not support me, I fell back on the bed with a giggle it hurt my dry throat.

I attempted to stand again and had more success so I stumbled to the bathroom.

I heard Jasper and Emmett's low voices as I made my way down stairs. I hesitated before I walked into the room I wasn't sure how I was going to be received; I mean I drove their brother away.

"Bella you're alive," chortled Emmett as he swung me up into his arms pulling me into a rib cracking hug as he whispered, "Don't worry Bells we'll sort this out with Edward when we get home, he left because he hurt you not because he doesn't love you."

Anger flared up in me, what did Edward think, I wouldn't be hurt that he left without even saying goodbye to my face?

I glared at Emmett, "Emmett I don't want to sort it out with Edward, he made his choice. He knows he better off without a crack head like me." I tried to add some defiance to my voice I'm not sure how well I did.

Emmett let me go looking me over appraisingly. I smiled at him as I turned to greet Jasper.

He took me in his embrace at once kissing my cheek softly, "it's good to see you Bella but you're wrong about Edward he thinks you're better off without him and none of us and least of all Edward thinks you're a crack head."

"Hmm what ever his reason he's gone and I have to move on and it's good to see you too Jaz." I squeezed him before releasing him from my grip.

I took the glass of water that Alice was offering and went to sit at the table that she had laid for breakfast.

"So Bells you up for some boarding today? You've only been on the mountain for half a day since you've been here." Emmett boomed before stuffing a whole banana in his mouth.

"Hell yeah," I giggled as I took the bowl of cereal and stewed fruit Rose was offering me.

I was glad I made the decision to go snowboarding the cool crisp air helped to clear my head. Gliding over the powder fine snow I allowed myself to feel the terrible hurt that was clawing at my insides to do its worse, which resulted in me tumbling a quarter ways down the mountain, coming to a stop at the bottom of the run in a crumple heap.

Emmett and Jasper rushed to my side, Emmett scooping me up into his arms.

"Bells are you ok?" Jasper was fussing over me as Emmett held me close to him. I felt safe in Emmett's arms. I had really grown to love these two, they were like the brothers I sometimes wished I had.

"Yeah I think so I just lost my concentration I guess," I was determined not to sound depressed or look like I was moping.

I didn't want Emmett and Jaz to go back and tell Edward I was depressed or moping. I just wanted to forget all about Edward and go on with my life hoping the terrible pain would ease one day.

I appreciated how much effort my sisters, Jasper, and Emmett were making to keep me occupied and included. I barely had a moment to myself in the following days. I did draw the line when each couple offered to sleep in my bed with me at night.

I was happy to curl up in my snoopy pyjamas and read my copy of Wuthering heights. However, I was grateful when I curled up in my bed after a long day on the mountain knowing that tomorrow would be my final day in Switzerland, and I planned to spend it alone sightseeing.


	18. Chapter 18 Sightseeing and Surprises

**A/N: this is the last day in Switzerland we're in New York for the remainder of the story. There are still heaps of chapters to go in this story I'm currently Editing chapter 36. So hang in there because there still some major events coming up for both Bella and Edward...**

**Please feel free to Review this story, I appreciate all feedback.**

**DISCLAIMER: S Meyer owns twilight as if you didn't already know..**

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**CHAPTER 18: SIGHTSEEING and SURPRISES…**

I had not touched my camera since Edward left, and I missed the feeling of it in my hand. I drove to the neighbouring village pulling up outside a quaint little church; I entered through the wrought iron kissing gate and headed for the cemetery to the right. I took some photos of the older moss covered graves while I mused about the sort of lives the occupants had led while on earth.

I was totally lost in my thoughts, enjoying the weak but warm sunlight on my face. I closed my eyes and smiled up at the sun letting its rays caress my face.

I never heard the person who approached me from behind until they cleared their throat, causing me to jump and call out in surprise. I spun around to see who had snuck up on me. I stared with a strange feeling of familiarity about the man standing before me.

He had black silky hair that glistened in the sunlight his eyes were black and warm, his skin the colour of coffee and a set of gleaming white teeth flashed between full pouty lips.

His eyes narrowed when he saw me. "Oh; it's you." He said as he looked around as if he was searching for something. "Where's your over protective boyfriend, waiting in the shadows ready to pounce or as he actually let you out of his sight?"

I was confused for a second; then it dawned on me who this was, the guy Edward hit in the nightclub.

"I'm alone and he's not my boyfriend." I scowled; I didn't want to talk about or think about Edward. The pain in my chest was still raw and painful; I just wanted to forget all about Edward though I knew I was kidding myself.

"Oh well he was rather possessive for someone whose not your boyfriend." I didn't respond I just stood there staring at him. He was beautiful looking in his own way definitely Native American he looked about twenty-five. "Well if you're alone would you like me to show you around? I'm Jake by the way." He held out his hand to shake mine.

I took it with a smile. "Bella and I would like you to show me around, if you have time." I was somewhat surprised I had agreed; I had planned to spend the day alone.

Jake flashed me a wide smile and I felt myself relax, there was something calming about Jacob. I raised my camera taking a few shots of him as he smiled shyly.

"Let's go." He turned and Headed for the street I fell into step with him as we headed for my car. He climbed in next to me turning on the heat the minute I started the engine.

"So where too first, tour guide?" I asked as I pulled out onto the street.

"Keep heading out of town, there are these really cool ancient ruins that I think you'll like."

The conversation flowed easily between us. Jake told me how he spends his winters in Switzerland as a ski instructor and tour guide and his summers back on the reservation he was raised on near Seattle.

The ruins were spectacular they dated back to the early seventh century; built by some exiled monks. I snapped picture after picture of the stone formations before turning my camera on Jake.

He gave me a shy smile "Bella I'm not exactly Photogenic."

"You're wrong you're extremely photogenic and beautiful." I said without thinking. His smile widened lighting up his face.

"So where too next tour guide?" I asked; trying to distract him from my compliment as I turned to head for the car.

Jake fell into step with me and took my hand as we walked. I resisted the urge to yank my hand from his, but as I relaxed I realised his hand felt warm in mine and I was surprised at now natural it felt to hold it.

We hopped back in the car I could tell Jake wanted to keep holding hands but I kept both hands clenched on the wheel. I followed Jakes directions and soon we were pulling up to the edge of a wooded area, the trees covered in a thick blanket of snow and ice.

"Come on Bella you've haven't seen anything yet," Jake called as I raised my camera to capture the beautiful winter scene in front of me.

He grabbed hold of my hand again and pulled me toward a path that disappeared into the forest. We walked for about ten minutes before the snow covered path veered off to the left, as we rounded the corner I stopped in surprise.

It was a small clearing tucked up against a sheer cliff, a small pool about four feet in diameter was nestled into the rocky outcrop. Steam rose from the pool giving it a mystical magical quality; I ran my fingers through the warm water staring down into its crystal clear depths. It was a truly stunning sight.

"It's fed by a natural under ground spring," Jake said as he came to stand beside me.

"Its beautiful Jake almost magical," I raised my camera taking a multitude of photos, I was enchanted by the beauty and I was enjoying Jakes Company.

I noticed the terrible pain in my chest, I'd had since Edward left, had eased slightly. Jake and I stayed in the clearing for a couple of hours just talking and taking photos. I was having such a good time I agreed to join Jake for lunch at a small pub in the village.

We spent the afternoon getting to each other better and the more I learnt about Jake the more I liked him. Before he left we exchanged email addresses promising to stay in touch.

I stood up to hug him goodbye, he tilted my chin with his finger and brushed his lips lightly over mine. I pulled back and he smiled brightly, "You smell like cinnamon, Everytime I smell it from now on I'll remember this day."

I rolled my eyes, "I'll see you round Jake and thanks for today I had a really good time."

I watched Jake leave and sat down to finish my coffee, I thought about the sweet kiss we'd just shared; there were no electric charge to it like there was with… I stopped myself from thinking his name; I didn't want to ruin my marginally better mood with thoughts of my runaway Romeo.

I arrived at the chalet around dusk; my mood was lighter than it had been in days. I saw Alice bound out the door the second I pulled the car into the driveway. She was yanking open my door before I'd even cut the engine.

"Where have you been Bella? I've been worried sick about you." She chided as she threw her arms around me.

"Sight seeing, you knew that." I rolled my eyes; Alice was such a worrier.

I followed her into the house where Rose, Emmett and Jasper were sitting around the kitchen table preparing to eat.

"Hi Bells, how was your day?" Emmett flashed me a grin as I sat down next to him. He threw his arm around me and kissed my ear.

"Good Emmett, I had a great day." I began piling food onto my plate I was ravenously hungry.

"What did you do today Bella?" Jasper asked as he passed me the gravy boat.

I passed him my camera so he could look through the photos of my day while I tucked into my food. Emmett, Rose and Alice went to stand behind Jasper so they to could see my photos, Alice's sudden gasp caused me to choke on my mouthful.

"What Alice?" I managed to splutter in between my coughs tears streaming down my face.

"Why is that guy Edward hit at the nightclub in your sightseeing photos?"

"Oh you mean Jake, well I met him when I was photographing the church and he offered to act as my tour guide, we had a great time he took me to these ancient ruins and this really awesome hot water spring." I smiled widely as I looked at all their incredulous faces.

I saw Emmett's eyes darken and I felt a surge of vindictive pleasure, good he can go back and tell Edward I'm doing fine without him. I noticed that anger was beginning to replace my sadness at Edwards leaving. I needed to be careful that I didn't become bitter.

I spent my last night holed up in my room packing my stuff and reading; I was glad to be going home.


	19. Chapter 19 Exhibit

**A/N: I hope you enjoy this chapter. I will be posting another in a couple of days, as a fan of other writer's work on this site I know how frustrating it is having to wait weeks for updates. So I will be updating 2-3 times a week depending on how far through editing I get.**

**DISCLAIMER: S. Meyer owns twilight but I own my own twisted thoughts...**

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**CHAPTER 19: EXHIBIT…**

It had been three months since I returned from Switzerland. I had barely caught my breath since I'd arrived home; I had spent the last month in Africa for work and leisure, spending a week in the small village in which I was born. It was one of the best weeks of my life; I spent my days taking photos of the landscapes and the village people going about their daily lives.

The village had no clean running water and little in the way of crops and food. The children collected water from a small spring that barely trickled from the ground.

It never failed to amaze me how happy these people were with their lives; even though they lived in harsh unrelenting conditions. The children were always happy and laughing when they played their made up games; the women talked with their neighbours while doing their chores.

It was a humbling experience and good way to put some perspective in my life, and as a result, I had begun to slowly get over the fact Edward was no longer a part of my life.

Though my heart was still heavy, I found I could breathe easier as the constriction in my chest lessened. I still loved him but I knew it was time to move on with my life.

When I arrived back at my apartment, there was a message on my machine from my old college buddy Mike Newton. He was apparently in New York to open a new art gallery and wanted to catch up; I called him and invited him for dinner at my apartment the following night.

I decided to pick up Sushi takeout rather than attempt cooking, Mike arrived around seven with a bottle of wine, and I kissed his cheek as I took the wine.

"So Bella; how have you been?" Mike asked as he followed me to the kitchen.

"Good Mike, I've been really busy with work though, how about you? You said something about being in town to open an art gallery." I passed him a glass of wine and gestured him to sit at the table, while I laid out the Sushi.

"Yeah I'm here to oversee the final touches to the gallery. I'm looking forward to making a fresh start in New York.

"So things didn't work out so well with you and Jane then?" I didn't really want to pry into Mike's relationships but I was curious to what happened with Jane, the last I heard they were all set to marry.

"Nah were just way too different, but that's ok; onward and upward as they say. How about you; anyone special in your life?" Mike asked shyly.

"No not me; I'm way to busy for a social life," I laughed and so did he.

After Dinner, he walked around my apartment checking out the photos that adorned my walls. Stopping when he reached a set of prints depicting the contrasts between the barren sandy plains of Africa and the white snow capped landscapes of Switzerland.

"Did you take these photos Bella?" He had a hint of excitement in his voice.

"Yeah you know; my hobby turned into a bit of a passion. Why did you want to know?"

"Because they're fantastic; do you have more?" The excitement in his voice was even more pronounced.

"Yeah like thousands," I pointed to the bookcases, which were full of albums of my favourite images. We spent the rest of the evening looking over the hundreds of photos I had.

I was glad I kept my private albums in my wardrobe.

"Bella these photos are beautiful. You have a unique style and I want you to consider letting me show New York how talented you are by agreeing to let me use your photos as my opening exhibit." Mike watched me hopefully as he awaited my answer.

I snorted, "Mike you can't be serious. I'm not an artist; I don't know anything about exhibiting art and I very much doubt I'm good enough." I shook my head and laughed; the whole idea was absurd.

"I'm completely serious Bella and I'm not taking no for an answer. I will have to run it past my business partner but I know he'll love the photos as much as I do. So come on Bella say yes and live a little. You always were the most conservative of the Swan sister's." Mike looked at me with pleading eyes.

I thought he was insane, but I reluctantly agreed to exhibit my work. I said good night to Mike not long after he elicted a promise from me and went to bed feeling a lot more excited I had in recent months.

I spent the next two weeks choosing the images I wanted to exhibit, and after changing my mind a million times, I was finally happy with my choices. The two weeks after that were spent choosing frames and colour schemes. I was so busy and exhausted every night that I hadn't thought of Edward more than half a dozen times in the last fortnight.

I had barely seen Alice and Rose; who were still cloistered in happy couples land with Jasper and Emmett. I also hadn't touched drugs since Switzerland and other than the wine; I'd shared with Mike alcohol had been a no go too.

I started to get the urge to go on a bender; I was keen to let loose and have some fun.

It had been five months since I had seen Edward; I gave Rose a copy of the holiday photos containing images of him with his brothers. I withheld any image that had me in it and the photos we had taken on our games night were put away in the top of my wardrobe.

Other than that, no one mentioned him and for that I was grateful.

I sent out invitations to my family and friends; and finally the big night had arrived. I dressed in a black Channel cocktail dress Alice had brought for me, fussing with the way it sat on my hips. I styled my hair in a crown of soft fiery curls, making sure they covered my mark and added a diamond hair band to complete my look.

I was a bundle of nerves in the limo ride to the gallery, I was glad I was alone; it gave me time to take a deep breath and try to compose myself.

I nearly told the driver to take me home when we pulled up outside the gallery and I saw how many people were there.

My family we waiting for me just inside the door and I relaxed as soon as I saw them. Emmett, Jasper and James looked debonair in their classic tux. I was impressed at how well Emmett scrubbed up he looked gorgeous.

Victoria, Rose and Alice looked like they had just walked off the cover of Italian Vogue.

"Thanks for coming you guys." I said as I grabbed a glass of champagne off a passing waiter.

One glass won't hurt I said to myself a little guiltily. But apparently my guilt was short lived as I downed the glass in two mouthfuls.

I never got to talk to my family for very long as various guests claimed my attention; wanting to talk about the inspiration for my art. I spent most of the evening shyly accepting compliments from strangers, which was a bizarre feeling.

I had just managed to free myself from an overbearing art lover that wanted to dissect every aspect of my work in minute detail when I heard Mike call my name.

I grabbed a glass of champagne before looking for him in the crowd. I stopped dead; I could feel the colour draining from my face as my eyes drifted over too Mike and his companions.

My heart stuttered and began beating double time, my throat went dry and I felt my chest constrict; making it hard for me to catch my breath.

Standing there in a beautifully cut black tux, bronzed sex hair in its usual disarray, was Edward; looking more beautiful than an Angel. I internally cursed myself; my memories of his beautiful face paled in comparison too how beautiful he really was.

I lowered my gaze and took several deep breathes; grabbed another glass of champagne and walked toward Mike.

God this was going to be awkward, I tried to stop myself from convulsing by taking a long sip of my wine.

"Hi Mike," I smiled shyly as I approached, I could feel the blush colouring my face.

'Stupid blush', I cursed inwardly; willing it to go away but my cheeks just grew hotter.

I tried to keep my eyes from Edwards as I addressed Mike, but I could feel those pensive emerald green eyes burning into my soul as he willed me to meet his gaze.

"Bella there is someone I'd like you to meet. This is my business partner Edward Cullen, he part owns the gallery."

My head snapped up, no one had bothered to tell me that bit of information, though I was willing to bet Alice would have known for sure.

I composed my face into a polite smile as I turned to Edward, "It's very nice to meet you Edward." I said; acting like we'd never met.

I registered a dozen emotions play across his face; pain, hurt and shock at my snub being the most prominent.

His eyes burned into mine, searching for what I wasn't sure; I tried to look away but his eyes had me temporarily dazzled. My heart skipped a beat when my favourite crooked smile played on his flawless lips.

"It's lovely to meet you Bella; and may I say I am a huge fan of your work." His voice dripped with obvious sincerity but I knew it well enough to hear the faint longing that tinged it, he held out his hand to shake mine.

I hesitated; then with a deep sigh I took his hand in mine shaking it briefly, the instant our skin connected every cell in my body began to buzz with the same inexplicable intensity it had the first time we'd touched in the plane.

I pulled my hand from his grip, he gave it a gentle squeeze before slackning his hold. I could tell he was reluctant to let go of me, his eyes continued searching mine; rendering me temporarily speechless.

Mike was watching me in slight confusion; I knew he was wondering why I was being so quiet and acting so strangely. All I knew was I could not be in such close proximity to Edward a moment longer; my will power was crumbling every second I spent in his presence.

I saw Emmett and made my escape, "If you two would please excuse me I see a _friend_ I'd really like to catch up with." Edward pulled his eyes from mine briefly to see to whom I was refering, his eyes snapped back to mine.

I could tell by the look on Edwards' face he got my meaning quite clearly.

The pain was back in his eyes, "It was nice to meet you Edward, Mike I'll call you later ok.

I allowed Mike to kiss my cheek before I went to join Emmett; who threw his arm around me and kissed me enthusiastically the second I got to his side.

"Do you want to party little Bells? You haven't had any fun in so long, if I didn't know you better I'd swear your turning into a square" He chortled in my ear I could feel his evil grin forming against my the side of my head.

"Yeah why not Emmett? and you're right I am turning into a square." I laughed when he gave me a rib cracking hug.

I looked around the gallery was nearly empty, I hadn't seen Edward leave but I wasn't worried. The night had been a huge success; all my photos had been sold.

I was feeling like I deserved to let my hair down, and Emmett came to my aid as he stealthily slipped a tiny plastic bag into my hand. I grinned at him and kissed him fully on the lips before heading to the ladies room.

I poured the contents of the bag into my drink with a growing sense of anticipation; swilled the contents of the glass and downed it in one. I discarded the bag in the toilet making sure it flushed before going to find Emmett.

I found him waiting with Alice, Rose and Jasper, James and Victoria had left earlier. He grabbed my hand as I approached; winking at me slyly, I smiled at him covertly.

I really appreciated Emmet's easy going friendship; I felt so comfortable with him, he was my partner in crime and he never judged me.

"So Bella; where do you want to go and celebrate?" Alice asked as she cuddled up to Jasper.

"I don't know Alice I'll let you decide."

Her eyes sparkled, "Oh Bells I know the perfect place." She let go of Jasper and grabbed my hand, pulling me toward the exit.

Ten minutes later, we were in a packed club throwing back shooters and dancing up a storm. I felt good, letting loose was just what I needed. It had been heartbreaking seeing Edward tonight and I needed a distraction so I wasn't dragged back down into that sess pool of pain again.

I could feel the residual ache in my heart from seeing him again, no matter how hard my head was; my heart would always want him. I finished my last shooter and watched as the happy couples hit the dance floor.

Suddenly I wasn't feeling so jovial so I decided to go home. I text Alice and Emmett a message saying I'd catch them up later and left the hot stuffy nightclub.

The club was only five blocks from home and I was feeling amped up; so I decided to walk back to my apartment. I was just passing a poorly lit part of the sidewalk when I came across a group of young guys who were obviously drunk.

I tried to walk pass quickly without drawing attention to myself but one of the group called out to me.

"Hey beautiful where are you going in such a hurry?" I ignored him and increased my pace as his friends broke out in raucous laughter.

I felt an arm grab me from behind, I spun around to see who had grabbed me; it was the friend of the guy who accosted me.

"Now that's not very nice manners, we were just being friendly." He hissed as he tightened his grip on my arm.

"Get your fucking hands off me asshole." I snarled.

The adrenalin and speed coursing through my system was making me either brave or stupid. I tried to pull myself from his grasp, his grip tightened around my arm and he started to pull me toward an ally a few feet away from where we stood.

His mates were laughing and egging their mate on as they closed in on me; they were distracted when a limo pulled up along side us. My assailant slackened his grip on my arm as the limo door opened.

"Bella get in the car right now." I recognised the velvety textured voice that issued from the open limo door even with the menacing tone it took on now.

Before I knew or my group of assailants knew what was happening; I was yanking my arm from his grasp and diving for the open door of the limo, and the next thing I knew we were speeding down the road.


	20. The Right Place At The Right Time

**DISCLAIMER: S MEYER owns twilight..**

**________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

**CHAPTER 20: THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME.**

I kept my head in my hands; I could feel myself shaking. I felt like I was going to lose it at any minute; but I was determined to be in control in front of Edward. I wasn't going to show him any sign of weakness, I sucked in a couple of deep lung full's of air trying to calm myself.

I could feel Edward's eyes on me and the intensity of his stare, my heart was now beating triple time.

"Bella are you alright?" His velvety smooth voice washed over me and my heart ached with longing, but my head was firmly in control

I knew I should be grateful that Edward saved me from a fate probably worse than death, but all I felt was the suppressed hurt, pain and anger lashing white hot at my insides. I stayed silent; I wasn't even sure I could speak.

"Bella love its ok; you're safe now." His use of the word love shredded my heart and goaded me into speech.

"Edward don't you dare call me love." I spat through my clenched teeth.

"Bella…" Edward began to speak but I cut him off. I didn't want to hear what he had to say.

"Look Edward I'm fine ok, thank you for helping me tonight, for being in the right place at the right time." I didn't look up to meet his gaze but I noticed that the Limo had stopped outside my apartment (how did he know which building was mine?)

"Bella please look at me. You look so beautiful and healthy. It's so good to see you again" I looked up into his mesmerising green eyes and my breathing hitched. Edward made a move like he was going to reach out and touch me; I recoiled into the chair

"Yeah well my physical scars have healed," I whispered, "Look Edward thanks for your help but I have to go." I broke from his gaze and bolted from the Limo; smiling at the door attendant as he held the door to my building open for me.

I never looked back to see if the Limo was still parked on the sidewalk, I just wanted to get as faraway from Edward as possible. The longer I spent in his company the more I wanted to hold him, ravish him.

I collapsed on my bed, I tried to fight off the shock that was threatening to engulf me, closing my eyes I was expecting to see the face of my would be assailant but it was Edward's face that I saw dancing behind my eye lids.

I knew I had been rude to him tonight. Technically, he hadn't done anything to me except decide he didn't want me.

However, the feelings of rejection reared inside me and I felt a surge of vicious pleasure as I remembered the pain my words and actions had caused Edward tonight.

His pain was nothing compared to my own.

No matter how angry I was with Edward; I couldn't deny my heart yearned to be with him again. My heart loved him without my heads permission, the thought infuriated me further, how could I purge Edward from my heart? For that I had no answer.

I knew I owed Edward an apology but I didn't want to see him again to deliver it. I thought about how he was part owner of the gallery, like he was my employer, I didn't like that thought much either.

I wondered if I could be friends with Edward; hang out together with Emmett, Rose, Alice and Jasper. I shuddered at the thought of how awkward that would be, no that was an impossibility. I was definitely not strong enough to deal with that scenario.

I lay on bed hoping sleep would take me but of course, with a system full of meth I knew that was wishful thinking. I got up and padded around my apartment until the sun finally made an appearance. I didn't feel like being cooped up in my apartment so I grabbed my camera and headed for central park to see what delights it would offer on this perfect New York morning.

I sat on a park bench taking random photos of the occupants enjoying their various morning pursuits, the sight of a family playing ball brought a smile to lips as did an elderly couple looking very much in love strolled past me arm in arm.

As I watched them through my camera lens the elderly man lean over to kiss his wife, as I captured the intimate image an idea for another series of photos was forming in my head. As I watched the elderly couple stroll down the path a twinge of sadness rippled through me; I wanted what they had, an enduring love that survived the pressures of life and withstood the test of time.

I headed for my favourite mobile coffee vender just along the path from where I sat; I took some random photos of the vendor standing over his steaming espresso machine a happy smile on his lips as he chatted to his customers

I ordered coffee; reaching into my pocket for my wallet, I realised I had left it at home.

"Oh I'm sorry, I seemed to have left my wallet at home." I grimaced in apology at the vendor who was smiling at me.

All of a sudden, my body started to tingle with electricity like it was reacting to some sort of stimulus it liked, an involuntary shiver of pleasure rippled over me, I tried to shake off the strange feeling but my body continued to hum.

"Allow me," A low velvety voice sounded in my ear sending a concentrated jolt of electricity straight to my heart. I spun around to see Edward standing behind me clad in running shorts and singlet, perfectly sculptured chest outlined against the flimsy fabric.

Sweat trickled from his bronzed hair along his temples before sliding down the lines of his neck.

My breathing hitched as I stared at his perfection, I realised I was staring and dropped my gaze from his, damn him for being the living incarnation of sex on legs.

"No thank you; you don't have to do that." I stammered as I stared at my feet.

"Isabella I insist," he growled as he handed the vendor the money and ordered himself a coffee as well.

Once he got his coffee, we walked down the path in silence, I knew I needed to apologise but being this close to him again had taken my ability to speak.

"Bella." He started to say but I cut him off.

"Look Edward I owe you an apology for last night; if you hadn't of shown up when you did I hate to think would have happened, and instead of thanking you properly I acted like a bitch."

"Bella its ok I don't mind, I haven't exactly..." I cut him off again.

"No Edward it was bad manners of me to act like that. So thank you so very much for being in the right place at the right time last night."

"Bella your welcome and am I allowed to speak now?"

I giggled at his question, "Yes you can speak now."

"Thank you," he dazzled me with his beautiful smile and my heart tried to beat its way out of my chest, damn traitorous heart.

"Bella I am the one who owes you an apology, I should never have left you that way. As soon as I was on the plane home, I wanted to turn around and come back to you. I've been battling with myself everyday since I left about getting in touch with you, I so desperately wanted to but I didn't want to risk hurting you wasn't until last night when you said how your physical injuries had healed that I realised that I had hurt you worse emotionally. I've missed you every single day Bells, I dream about you every night. I have jogged through this park everyday in the past six months hoping that I would bump into you like this. I love you so much. I'm lost without you Bella, can you please please forgive me for hurting you and agree to try again."

I was speechless, my gaze was on the ground, my head and heart were raging some internal battle for dominance over my emotions. My heart was screaming at me to forgive him and sweep him into my arms right now; my head was screaming caution.

Edward's finger touched my chin tilting my head up so I had to meet his eyes, I could see the love and longing in their endless depths. I had missed that look so much, hot tears spilled down my cheeks; I could feel the walls crumbling around me as my heart over ruled my head.

"Bella please; let's just start over." He held out his hand, "Hi I'm Edward Cullen." His dazzling smile made my head spin and my heart stutter.

I took his hand in mine; shaking it firmly, as soon as our skin touched the sparks of electricity ignited sending another massive jolt to my heart. "Bella Swan," I giggled not letting go of his hand for several heartbeats.

"So Bella Swan; I have the day off work today, would you please do me the honour of spending the day with me. Perhaps we could visit the museum before having lunch?"

"Um… that sounds nice Edward. I would like to spend the day with you, but I'd like to take things slowly."

Damn this isn't quite how I pictured my day going, why did he have to be so bloody irresistible. I was nervous and I wasn't one hundred percent sure, if this was a good idea, my heart couldn't cope if he rejected me again. Edward took my hand and happiness radiated from him, I took a covert look at him and he was almost glowing.

I smiled to myself as I let him lead me back to his apartment, so he could change for our date.

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**A/N: Reviews= confidence & inspiration which in turn leads to quicker chapter updates...... **


	21. Falling In Love Again

**A/N: I'm posting this chapter early because I'm working late on thursday. Sorry the last chapter was a tease, I made this chapter longer in the hope of appeasing you... Feel free to review...**

**DISCLAIMER: YOU KNOW IT AND I KNOW IT... S MEYER OWNS TWILIGHT...**

**Chapter 21: FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN…**

"Bella how are you, beautiful?" Emmett bellowed; rushing over to pull me into one of his bone crushing hugs, "Did you have a good time last night?" he whispered low enough so Edward couldn't hear.

"You know me Emmett it turned into a near disaster; but I survived to live another day." I whispered as I kissed his ear.

He put me down and I was claimed by Jasper at once. His arms encircled my waist, "It's good to see you Bella especially with Edward; he's been so lost without you."

Jasper kissed my cheek before letting me go.

"So are you two back together?" Emmett demanded looking from Edward to me.

"Yes, No." Edward and I said in unison. I saw Edward's face fall; so I quickly amended, "we're just hanging out together and seeing where it takes us." I looked up at him and he gave me a small sad smile, I instantly felt guilty.

"So Edward you should go have a shower while I check out your apartment."

"Yeah off you go Eddie; we'll look after Bella," Edward scowled at Emmett as he left the room. I walked around checking out the art on the walls and was surprised to see a set of my photos of Switzerland, from the exhibition hanging on the wall.

Edward came up behind me as I studied the images,"Those are my favourites." He murmured in my ear, his nose brushed my hair and I felt him inhale deeply and sigh.

"We should go," I said as I stepped away from him, I was fighting for control of my body hard enough without the added weight of having him so close to me. He smiled that same sad smile as he ushered me to the door.

Twenty minutes later, we were walking through the huge glass doors of the museum.

Edward stood close to me when we stop to study the exhibits; discussing each piece in detail, he was very knowledgeable about the exhibits and I found myself fascinated as he explained some of the backgrounds of the pieces.

Several times, I saw his hand twitch at his side like he wanted to reach out for mine. Though it was against my better judgement, I entwined my fingers with his. His responding smile nearly stopped my heart; I squeezed his fingers gently as we continued to walk through the museum.

We ate a long leisurely of sushi and Miso soup, it was just reaching twilight when Edward got a text message from Emmett inviting us to a little bar not far from where we were, they were having an open mike night and one of Emmett's mates were going to perform.

Edward asked me shyly if I wanted to go meet up with the other's or did I want him to take me back to my apartment. I thought about it for a minute; my head was screaming caution, my heart was telling my head to shut the fuck up.

"Yeah I'll go with you; if you want to go." Edward's face broke into my favourite crooked smile and my heart melted.

We arrived at the bar and found Emmett and the others at a table near the back, I took a seat between Jasper and Emmett; Edward looked slightly pissed off about it; but he never said anything.

We'd arrived in time to listen to Emmett's friend play, he was really quite good, and I could see him doing well for himself in the music business. Edward went off to get us a couple of juices; I thought I'd keep away from alcohol after the other night.

Edward was taking his time getting our drinks and I was looking around for him when Emmett muttered, "holy fuck."

I turned to see what he was referring to and my heart nearly stopped beating when I saw Edward walking out on stage and take a seat at the piano set at the side of the stage.

I looked questioningly at Emmett and Jasper, both of them shrugged their shoulders; looking surprised that Edward was out there on stage.

As the first few bars of the music rang out, I was instantly mesmerised and my eyes never left Edward.

_I was dreaming of the past_

_And my heart was beating fast_

_I began to lose control_

_I began to loose control_

Edwards's voice rang out soft and enchanting, swirling around in perfect harmony with the tinkling of the ivory keys; my heart stuttered

_I didn't mean to hurt you_

_I'm sorry that I made you cry_

_I didn't mean to hurt you_

_I'm just a jealous guy_

_I was feeling insecure_

_That you might not love me anymore_

_I was shivering inside_

_I was shivering inside_

_I didn't mean to hurt you _

_I'm sorry that I made you cry_

_I didn't mean to hurt you_

_I'm just a jealous guy._

_I was trying to catch your eyes_

_Thought that you were trying to hide_

_I was swallowing my pain_

_I was swallowing my pain_

_I didn't mean to hurt you_

_I'm sorry that I made you cry_

_I didn't mean to hurt you_

_I'm just a jealous guy._

The whole place erupted into cheers and whistles when Edward finished the last few bars of the song, his eyes never left mine as he made his way back through the crowd. I wiped away the tears that slid down my cheeks and watched Edward make his way back to our table.

When he returned to his seat, I went and sat in his lap, my hand's entwined in his hair and I pulled his mouth to mine.

We both groaned as our tongues met and we melted into the familiarity of each others lips, "thank you," I whispered against his mouth.

"I couldn't think of a more perfect song to sum up what happened in Switzerland." He didn't need to say anything more than that.

We left the others at the club; Edward pulled up outside my building and insisted on walking me to my door, he held my hand from the moment we stepped from the car. "Thank you for a perfect day Bella,"

He raised our entwined hands bringing his lips to my hand; kissing it softly, his eyes closed as he inhaled the scent of my skin; a perfect smile playing on his lips.

He looked so happy and beautiful; another piece of my resolve cracked and I cupped his cheek in my hand as I brushed my lips lightly over his, he smelt delicious I wanted nothing more than to take him here in the hallway. "Good night Edward." I breathed as I pulled away from him.

"Good night Bella, sleep well." He looked at me wistfully before turning and walking back down the hall; he was nearly at the lift when he turned to face me," Bella can I have your number please; I'd like to be able to call you if you don't mind.

I walked to meet him, he held out his phone and I punched in my number; handing it back with a smile.

"Good night Edward," I said as I quickly turned and headed for my apartment.

I closed the door behind me; trying to fight the urge to run out and drag him into my bed; unfortunately for my body, my head was firmly in control.

I had been in the house less than a minute when I got the first text message.

_Thank you for agreeing to come out with me today; I had a really good time._

I smiled as I typed my text.

_So did I._

His reply was instant.

_When can I see you again?_

I wasn't sure about that. My heart screamed now, my head said take it slow. I was afraid of falling in love with Edward again; even though I knew I had never stopped loving him.

_Come over Friday and I'll cook you dinner._

_Are you positive you want to cook? I was under the impression that cooking was not one of your many talents; maybe I could cook for you._

_Damn it man; I will cook for you Friday and you will eat everything I serve you, do you understand._

_Ye ma'am, I'll see you Friday. _

_Goodnight Edward; I will see you Friday at six._

I slept better that week than I had in months. It could have something to do with the fact that I was exhausted from the lack of sleep and the come down from the speed. I woke on Friday morning feeling relaxed and refreshed, I finished work early so I could pick up some groceries for dinner tonight.

When I walked into my apartment, I was immediately assaulted by the sweet intoxicating smell of frangipanis. I was brought up short when I looked around my apartment to see every available surface covered with crystal vases overflowing with frangipanis and wild daisies of every colour imaginable.

Alice skipped into the room, giggling at the look on my face, "Isn't it beautiful Bella?" She chimed as she stopped to smell a bunch of pink frangipanis.

"It is beautiful but totally unnecessary." I said as headed for the table to put the groceries down.

I couldn't help but smile as I headed for a vase holding a bunch of delicate white blooms with lemon coloured centres, the scent was beautiful, like Edward.

"He's just trying to show you how happy he is to have you back in his life Bella, go easy on him ok." I nodded as I chivvied her from my house.

I set to work preparing dinner, I had seen a recipe on food channel I wanted to try, it was chicken breasts stuffed with blueberries yellow bell peppers and a beautiful soft Gouda cheese imported from New Zealand with roast yams, kumera and a Greek salad. I popped the chicken, kumera and yams into the oven while I headed for the shower.

After washing myself with my cinnamon scented shower products, I stood at my wardrobe contemplating what I should wear. I settled on a lilac chiffon dress that ended just above the knee, I liked the way the delicate material caressed my skin.

Edward arrived right on six; I checked the chicken quickly before going to open the door. He looked gorgeous in his black jeans and simple white linen shirt.

"Hi Bella, you look positively beautiful tonight." Edward reached for my hand bringing in gently to his lips, brushing them lightly over my skin.

Electricity began to tingle where his lips had touched my skin and my breathing hitched in my throat. He kept my hand enclosed in his.

"Hi Edward, thanks for coming and thank you so much for the flowers they're beautiful."

"You're welcome; but they pale in comparison to you." He stepped forward to kiss the top of my head inhaling deeply," God I love the way you smell; so spicy and exotic."

I led him through the mass of blooms to the balcony, where I had laid the table for dinner; I turned on the CD player it started playing John Mayer.

It was a perfect New York evening; a gentle breezed caressed the air swirling the sweet scent of the frangipanis around us. I offered him a seat as I poured the wine, before I could pass him his glass his hand enclosed around my wrist and he gently pulled me into his lap.

"May I kiss you please Miss Swan?" He smiled sweetly; his eyes never leaving mine as he awaited my answer.

I was torn, my head was screaming caution; my heart was working with my hormones to override my stupid head; encouraging me to just ravish him now.

"Yes." I spluttered as my insides danced in joy, while poking tongues at my head.

He brought his lips to mine brushing over them ever so lightly, I sighed a deep satisfied breath as I felt the flickers of electricity tingle in my lips

He deepened the kiss; my lips parting in sync with his, our tongues swirling harmoniously. "Bella." he murmured against my lips, as my hands entangled in his coppery hair.

Edward's hands were sliding over my back, causing me to shiver in pleasure, before I knew what I was doing I crushed my body to his, moulding myself to his form. I never wanted to let him go.

His lips slid to my neck; his tongue running gently over the silvery purple scar of his mark, as he trailed kisses across my collarbone.

I had not planned of having sex with Edward tonight, I knew I should be taking things slowly but all I really wanted was Edward inside me.

I threw caution to the wind as my fingers shakily reached for the buttons on his shirt, I managed to get the first three undone before Edward drew back to look at me with a questioning gaze.

"Are you sure you want to do this Bella, we can take it slowly if that's what you want." I crushed my lips to his as I ripped the rest of the buttons from his shirt, I'd get Alice to buy him a new one.

I raked my fingers over his perfectly chiselled chest and stomach as he slowly pulled the tie of my halter neck dress; allowing it to slip down to pool at my waist.

His breath hitched as he took in my naked breasts; cupping one in his hand he massaging it gently. "Bella." he breathed; his voice sounding like pure sex, I could feel the moisture pooling in my panties as his lips sucked my nipple.

Lifting me gently he carried me to my day bed at the far end of the balcony; it was private and sheltered, laying me amongst the cushions.

He slipped the dress from my waist as his eyes raking over my body, clad only in a pair of French lace panties; he knelt over me removing them in one fluid motion. "Bella you truly are the most exquisite woman I have ever met."

The song 'Your Body is a Wonderland' began playing in the background it was one of my favourite song and I started singing it my head.

_We got the afternoon_

_You got this room for two_

_One thing left I've to do_

_Discover me_

_Discovering you_

Edward traced a line with his finger from my shoulder to my knee, before he dipped his head between my legs. His tongue slid along my slit and he moaned when he got to my wet entrance "God Bella you taste amazing; so much better than I remember, you're so wet, so warm."

_One mile to every inch of_

_Your skin like porcelain _

_One pair of candy lips and_

_Your bubble gum tongue_

His voice vibrated over my aching clit; causing me to buck my hips forward pushing myself harder into his face. He slipped another finger in as his tongue continued to caress my swollen bud.

I could feel the pleasure building in my centre; my stomach muscles began to tighten and my back arched.

_And if you want love_

_We'll make it_

_Swim in a deep sea of blankets_

_Take all your big plans and break 'em_

_This bound to take a while_

_Your body is a wonderland_

_Your body is a wonderland (I'll use my hands)_

_Your body is a wonderland_

_Something about the way your hair falls in your face_

_I love the shape you take when crawling toward the pillowcase_

_You tell me where to go and_

_Though I might leave to find it_

_I'll never let your head hit the bed_

_Without my hand behind it_

_And if you want love_

_We'll make it _

_Swim in a deep sea of blankets_

_Take all your big plans and break 'em_

_This is bound to take a while_

_Your body is a wonderland_

_Your body is a wonderland (I'll use my hands)_

_Your body is a wonderland_

_Damn baby_

_You frustrate me_

_I know you're mine all mine all mine_

_But you look so good it hurts sometimes_

_Your body is a wonderland_

_Your body is a wonderland (I'll use my hands)_

_Your body is a wonderland_

_Your body is a wonderland_

Edward sensing my imminent release upped the tempo of both his tongue and fingers; pushing me over the edge.

"Fuck…shit…god…Ed…ward," I yelled as I thrashed around; riding out the intensity of my orgasm.

"God I've missed making you cum and hearing you screaming my name," Edward whispered against me before pulling away, "that song was written for you ; it fits you perfectly and I'm adding it to my playlist so when I hear it; it will remind me of this night."

I hadn't even noticed that Edward was already naked until he was hovering over me; teasing my entrance with the head of his cock.

I closed my eyes as my hands roamed over his beautiful body.

"Look at me Bella," I opened my eyes; my heart skipped a beat when they met his, I could see clearly the depth of his love for me shining in his emerald green orbs.

As soon as my eyes met his; he pushed into me gently. His eyes rolled back in his head as he let out a soft moan, "Bella so warm, so beautiful. I've missed you so much." He crooned as he pushed himself deeper into me filling my centre with every inch of his beauty.

He took his time making love to me; alternating between soft gentle strokes and firm hard thrusts. The combination was sending the most beautiful sensations straight to my core, Edwards lips caressed every inch of skin they could reach sucking, licking and nibbling my creamy flesh.

He upped his tempo; his thrusts becoming harder and I knew his orgasm was rapidly approaching; I tighten my legs around his waist pulling him deeper into me.

"Bella my love…so warm…so tight…you're my heaven baby…I love you…I want you…be mine forever…" I had missed the way Edward said what ever was in his head when he was lost in the throws of his orgasm.

His words tipped me over the edge; his name fell repeatedly from my lips and I clung tightly to him; as we rode out our orgasms together.

Edward collapsed on top of me; his lips moving straight to my ear, "thank you Bella for letting me back into your life; I love you more than you'll ever know," he breathed into my ear.

I closed my eyes letting the intensity of his words wash over me. Before I had a chance to react, a loud piercing screech rent the air. It took me a few seconds to recognise the sound as the smoke detector in my kitchen.

"FUCK THE DINNER," I yelled as I pushed Edward off me and pelted for the kitchen.

Smoke filled the room; I covered my nose and mouth with my hand as I grabbed the oven mitt and yanked the oven door open. My stuffed chicken and vege's were charred and on the verge of catching alight.

I threw the pan into the sink and turned the cold water on before switching off the oven.

I turned to find Edward in the doorway trying very hard not to laugh.

I hissed at him "Don't you dare say anything; they would have been perfect had you not distracted me and caused me to forget all about the stupid dinner." I pouted.

I wasn't really mad at him, all I felt was a glowing in my heart; I was falling in love with Edward again despite my best efforts not to do so.

We ordered pizza, which we ate in bed in between our many loving making sessions, the room was growing lighter when we finally let sleep claim us.


	22. Chapter 22 Frustrated

**A/N: Thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter. In regards to the recreational drug use in this story, it is central to the plot and while I'm aware that it seems like I'm glorifying the use of drugs, I have tried to to make sure Bella has suffered a consequence everytime she's indulged in meth and will continue to do so..(apart from in this chapter and the next where I'm giving her a false sense of security.) I did state my Bella learns the hard way... **

**I feel it's only fair to warn you that the next couple of chapters contain more serious drug use...you have been warned....(Please review this chapter/story, your feedback keeps me motivated.)**

**DISCLAIMER: S Meyer owns twilight...**

**___________________________________________________________________________________________________**

**CHAPTER 22: FRUSTRATED…**

In the three months since I had burnt the dinner Edward and I had become inseparable; he usually spent every night at my apartment unless one of us was away for work. We had been spending way more time with Emmett, Rose, Alice and Jasper during the days of the weekend. While they spent their nights partying hard, Edward and I spent ours playing board games and watching movies.

To be honest I was bored. Even sex with Edward, which was always incredible, was gentle, safe. I wanted us to go back to having the kind of sex we were having in Switzerland, rough, animalistic and drug fuelled. I had not touched drugs or alcohol since that last fateful night. However, a kind of hunger was building in me; I was frustrated and I wanted a release, a reckless kind of release.

The trouble was how to broach the subject with Edward. The answer came in the form of Emmett; who was hanging out in my apartment waiting for Rosalie to finish her Friday afternoon kick boxing lesson.

"Bellsss," Emmett whined, "you haven't been out partying with me for soooo long. What has Edward done to you? You might as well be married with a brood of brats; since you're such a homebody now."

I leaned forward to hiss in his ear, "hush your mouth Emmett; don't give him idea's". Kids were not a high priority in my plans for the future.

Edward shot him a warning glance but I seized on the opportunity that had so easily fallen into my lap.

"You know what Em; you're right, Edward and I have been living the quiet life for far too long now, so tell me what are you offering to tempt us back to the dark side?" I teased while trying to avoid Edward's blazing eyes.

"Bella," Edward growled, "What are you doing?"

"What?" I snapped, causing him to groan and roll his eyes.

"You're not seriously suggesting that we should revisit this pathway?" He hissed; his beautiful face contorted with rage.

"Well why not? I miss how we fucked like crazy when we were in Switzerland, I mean it's been months since I've touched drugs and I feel like having some fun. Would it hurt to do it just once? We could just stay in the apartment, we'll no alcohol, we'll just keep it clean." I tried to keep my voice even; I didn't want Edward to think I was begging.

I had made up my mind; I was going to do this with or without Edward; the trouble was how was he going to react? Emmett leaned over and whispered something in Edward's ear, whatever he said made Edward more furious than I'd ever seen him; his eyes darkened perceptibly.

"Are you fucking crazy Emmett?" Edward shouted glaring at him with a death stare, whatever Emmett had suggested; Edward disagreed whole-heartedly with it.

"What; tell me what's going on? Don't you dare act like I'm not even in the room," I hissed, "Especially if you're discussing me." I ranted.

Edward ignored me, which made me see red, "Emmett, tell me what you said to Edward." I whined; jutting out my bottom lip, like I knew Rosalie did when she wanted something from him. She'd told me how he couldn't refuse her when she did that.

"Aww Bella don't look at me like that, I'll leave it to Edward to tell you if he so wishes."

"Edward tell me." I growled, I was seriously pissed and was about to throw a massive tantrum.

"Forget it Bella."

"Fuck you Edward and you Emmett; you're both assholes." I stormed off to have a shower not before I left a parting shot for Edward, "Stupid fucken bossy boyfriend." I muttered.

I heard Emmett's booming laugh as I slammed the bathroom door.

I let the hot water soothe my tight muscles, but it did nothing too soothe my pissed off mind. I stayed in shower until the water ran cold. That would teach Edward for being a dickhead, when I entered the lounge an hour later dressed in my thick towelling robe, Emmett had gone and Edward had all the candles in the house alight.

He was such a cheat; he knew I couldn't resist the beautiful soft glow cast by candle light.

"Hi love; feeling better now?" Edward asked, staring at me pensively.

"No Edward I'm not, not only do I want to get high; you should tell me what Emmett said. It's rude to talk about me when I'm standing right there." I tried Roses secret weapon out on Edward; if Emmett couldn't resist there was a good chance Edward wouldn't be able to either.

"Please Edward, please please; please, let's get high and tell me what Emmett said." I begged, trying to look sulky and guilt him into it.

"Bella is this really what you want?" Edward held up the tiny bag full of crystals.

My pout turned to a smile at once.

"Yes Edward; that's what I want and I bet deep down it's what you want too. You know you want to fuck me hard in every position and room in this house," I added to seal the deal.

"Damn Bella; you are the most dangerous woman I have ever met." I slipped off my robe to reveal the blue satin and lace corset; I had slipped on to use as a weapon against him if pleading failed, paired with the black lace stockings connected to my garters and no panties, he was putty in my hands.

"Jesus Bella; are you trying to kill me?" he moaned as his eyes raked over my body.

"No silly; I 'm just showing you what you'll be missing tonight if you don't give me my own way and tell me what Emmett said." I smiled sweetly as I walked over and ground myself against him.

"Bella I would rather not; but if you're going to torture me like this I really have no choice. Emmett wondered if you'd be interested in shooting the stuff instead of snorting it." Edward watched closely for my reaction.

"Oh…um I've never used needles before, have you?" I was a little surprised that Emmett and Edward would be into that.

"Yes I have a few times with Emmett and Jasper, but I have never shared needles and have no related health issues. Bella I don't want you to do this but I realise you're not going to let it go; so it's your choice." Edward was worried about both my reaction to the admission he had used needles and that I might choose to do the same.

"Edward I want to try it. I trust you not to do anything to put me in danger and I want to share this experience with you."

"Are you sure Bella?"

"Yes but we don't have any syringes."

"Emmett left us some." I followed Edward to the kitchen where two syringes sat waiting on the kitchen counter. I noted a spoon with what looked like the inner cotton bit of cigarette filter sitting in it.

Edward walked over and picked up one of the syringes, gesturing me forward. "You can still say no," he said as I eyed the needle with slight apprehension.

"Tell me what I need to do." I watched as Edward explained where he would put the needle and showed me how to slow the flow of blood by using my hand as a type of tourniquet.

I closed my eyes waiting for the sting as the needle spiked my vein; as soon as I felt it, my eyes flew open.

I watched fascinated as my dark red blood mixed with the clear liquid turning it a pinkie crimson. I eased the pressure on my arm allowing the mix of blood and meth to enter my vein. The effects of the meth were instant by the time Edward had removed the needle and covered the site with a small piece of cotton wool I could feel the rush of the drugs as they coursed through my veins. I could feel it from my head to my toes.

I couldn't believe the intensity of the rush; it was unbelievable, more intense than the rush of an orgasm. I shivered at the thought of how intense an orgasm would feel at this level of highness.

"Are you ok Bella?" Edward looked at me with concerned eyes.

"Fuck yeah that was awesome; the rush is so intense and the high is so clean. Hurry up and have yours so we can start fucking." I watched in awe as Edward administered his own share.

"So Dr Feel Good, where do you want to do it first?" I giggled as Edward cleaned himself up and disposed of the drug utensils.

"Here in the kitchen," he growled, pulling me into his embrace; his mouth hungrily searching for mine. He began unhooking my corset.

I made quick work of his jeans and boxers; Edward was taking his time with the corset.

"Edward just rip the fucken thing off," I growled; "I need to you inside me now." I giggled when I saw Edwards eyebrows arch.

I was pumping his erection and I could feel my wetness seeping down my thigh, my heart was crashing against my ribs.

I was getting desperate and I was going to let Edward know it, I straddled his thigh; rubbing my dripping pussy against him, leaving a trail of my juices up his leg.

"Fuck Bella you're so wet," Edward moaned as he hooked his fingers into the material ripping the corset clean off my body.

"About time." I muttered as I pulled his shirt over his head; a soft moan escaping my lips as my eyes rested on his perfect body.

He lifted me onto the kitchen table; lying me down carefully, raising my legs against his shoulders, his fingers slipped into my wet core pumping gently before he withdrew them, replacing them with his throbbing cock. He thrust into me; burying his cock deep within me.

Just as I was getting into the rhythm Edward withdrew from me causing me to whimper.

That was until he took a seat and buried his head between my legs; running his tongue along my wet slit. A shiver shot up my spine as Edward's tongue began to circle over my throbbing clit.

"Fuck Edward… it feels so good…I love it when you lick my clit…makes me so fucken horny baby," I groaned as my fingers entwined in his hair, his fingers entered my core pumping gently at first then working them harder and faster.

I held onto the sides of the table as Edwards tongue brought me to the first of my orgasms. I held on tight as the most intense rush of pure pleasure crashed over me; carrying me away into delirium, "Edward…fuck baby…love your tongue on me…love cuming on your fingers…Edward…want to cum on your cock too… I want you to fuck me now. "

When I finally came back to myself, I looked at Edward who was licking my juices from his fingers. The sight was so erotic I came again. Edward smiled lovingly at me as he lifted my legs to rest on his shoulders and moved the head of his cock to my wet centre teasing my entrance before slipping inside me with a groan.

He used light soft deliberate strokes; designed to tease and drive me insane, I wanted him hard, fast and reckless.

"Edward please don't tease me," I pleaded; trying to push myself harder against him.

"Tell me Bella; what do you want baby?" Edward whispered as he continued his gentle pace.

"I want you to fuck me hard, hard and fast until you cum inside me and I cum screaming your name." I moaned and tried again to force him deeper inside me.

Edward grunted as he upped his tempo, he was soon pounding into me relentlessly, when he felt my muscles clenching around his cock he let himself go; calling out, "Oh god Bella…Fuck... love you…fucken love…to…fuck you…hard… you're mine…all mine…baby…" Hie eyes never left mine as he rode out his climax.

He had only just withdrawn from me when I was asking, "Where do you wanna do it next baby?"

"Go get your box of toys Bella; we haven't played games for a while." I grinned at him and leapt up from the table.

I made a detour to bathroom to clean myself up before retrieving the box of toys I'd brought home from Switzerland with me, I laughed loudly as I remembered the rather embarrassed customs officer who pulled my vibrator and torn lingerie from the box during a routine customs search. I hurried back to Edward who was waiting for me on the balcony with his video camera resting in his palm.

I looked the video camera then at Edward with a smirk, "this better not end up on the internet or worse in the hands of Emmett."

"I promise you love this is for my eyes only, now I want you to get the vibrator and go lie on the daybed."

I did what he said and waited for further instruction.

"Spread your legs love, and I want you to play with your tits, make your nipples hard."

I spread my legs and let my hands drift to my breasts, massing them in my palms and rolling my nipples between my fingers; tweaking them into hard points.

"Play with your clit Bella." Edward crooned as he stood naked before me; camera in hand.

My hand ghosted over my stomach and slid between my legs, I slipped a finger into my centre pumping it slowly before withdrawing it. I slid my wet finger along my slit; coating my swollen clit in my juices. I pressed my finger to my clit circling over it rhythmically while my other hand massaged my breasts.

I couldn't stop the moan of pleasure escaping my lips; Edward smiled when he heard it, "Use the vibrator Bella, I want to see you fuck yourself until you cum baby, I want you to tell me how good it feels inside you."

I switched the vibrator on low and ran it along my slit letting the tip caress my clit before plunging it inside me, I pumped it into my core; pushing it further with every motion, covering it in my juices.

"Turn it up Bella." I moaned at the sound of his voice, it was low, husky and dripping with lust.

I flicked the speed dial and ran it over my clit; teasing myself to the brink, before sliding it back into my wetness.

I could feel myself hurtling toward what I was sure was going to be the most intense orgasm of my life, the pressure in my core exploded; my back arced and my eyes closed.

"Look at me Bella."

My eyes flew open, "Oh…shit…fuck…Edward…Ed…ward…oh…god…EDWARD…can't…too much…Ed…"

I felt my eyes roll back in my head, the next thing I knew Edward was shaking me, "Bella, Bella love are you alright?"

My eyelids fluttered open and I blinked rapidly to clear the hazy film from my eyes, "yeah I'm alright. I just got a little too caught up in the ride." I smiled at him reassuringly, he didn't look convinced.

"Edward don't panic I'm alright; let's just carry on enjoying our night. You don't need to overreact, now grab that camera and some sit up here, I've got a present for you."

I waited until he was comfortably seated before taking his the head of his cock between my lips, letting my tongue swirl over his slit. Edward moved my hair off my face getting a better camera shot.

I brought him further in my mouth then withdrawing him slowly, my hand pumped him slowly as my tongue licked over his tip. I brought him back between my lips pulling him in inch by inch, sucking a little harder with every breath.

I looked up at him through my lashes as my teeth grazed down his length, "God Bella; I love it when you do that." He bucked his hips forward, thrusting himself deeper into my throat; I closed my eyes sucking him harder with every bob of my head.

When I felt his cock pulsating against my tongue I knew his orgasm was approaching, I slid my hand between his legs to massage his balls.

"Fuck Bella…l love feeling my cock sliding between your beautiful pouty lips…you look so beautiful…" his hips bucked forward burying every inch of him into my mouth.

"Jesus…Bella…fuck…I'm gonna cum…fuck…Bella…so…beautiful……Mmm…my Bella…my love…" I swallowed Edwards creamy salty cum and licked him clean; the video camera still trained on me.

Both Edward and I were so caught up in the moment neither of us heard Emmett as he walked out on to the patio, "wicked; you guys are making a porno, can I see it? By the way Bella nice ass shot, I wish I had my phone on me it would have made nice wall paper."

I bolted out of Edward's lap grabbing the nearest cushion and covering myself with it, I flipped Emmett the finger and Edward told him to fuck off.

"I was just coming over to see if you'd resolved your lover's tiff; but as I can see you've sorted out your differences and what's this? Do my eyes deceive me; you've actually got out the toys, Alice will be pleased."

"Speaking of Alice; why don't you go annoy her and leave us alone?" I grumbled.

"Aww Bells you're way more fun than Alice, she never bats an eyelid if I walk in on her giving jasper head." His booming laugh echoed around the sheltered space drowning out my groan.

"So when do I get to see the movie? Do you need any help with post production Eddie? I've got some awesome songs you can use as background music."

"Emmett would you fuck off, before I kick your ass." Edward growled making Emmett laugh louder.

"Eddie you've never been able to kick my ass and you never will little brother."

"Stop calling me Eddie, fucktard."

"Fine I'm going; Rose should be ready to go another round, I'll be sure to let her know that you'll be emailing her a copy of your movie." I could hear him laughing all the way through the house.

"Edward go and deadbolt the door, I'm sure Emmett will be back with a camera of his own and while you're at it lock the Pixie out too, Emmett's bound to tell her and she'll be wanting a perv next." He chuckled as he headed inside to lock out our pesky families.

I went to stand against the railing of the balcony looking out over central park; letting the warm breeze caress my skin. I loved New York at night; the soft glow from the twinkling city lights never failed to enchant me.

Edward's arms encircled my waist, his lips brushing lightly along my shoulder; seeking the creamy soft skin of my neck, I pushed my back against his chest; moaning softly when I felt his hard cock press against my spine. His hands slid to my breasts palming them roughly, tugging on each of my nipples until they were hard.

"Mmm… Bella…" I shivered as his warm breath caressed my skin, "you feel so good against me."

"You feel even better in me; baby I wanna feel you inside me." I was expecting him to slip inside me instead he pulled away. I turned my head to see what he was doing.

"Hold that thought love." He went to retrieve the vibrator and the video camera from the day bed, he placed the camera on the table; mucking around; checking he had the right angle.

He hit the record button; grabbed the vibrator and came to press his chest into my back, "I'm going to fuck your tight little ass Bella, while you get yourself off with your toy." I reached down and took the vibrator from his hand, switching it on; I pressed it to my clit.

I squealed in surprise when I felt a cold liquid trickle down the crevice between my ass cheeks, Edward's hands squeezed the fleshy globes of my ass. I slid the toy down my slit; teasing my entrance and slipping the head of it into my core.

Edward's fingers spread my cheeks, the tip of his finger resting on my opening; I pushed the vibrator deeper into me, coating it with the juices flowing from my core, a soft moan fell from my lips as he pushed his finger inside me. He twisted it gently and added another finger, stretching the tight little hole.

I pushed the vibrator in further then withdrawing it slowly and sliding it over my clit, Edward withdrew his fingers, pulling my cheeks apart he rested the head of his cock against the pink puckered opening for a few seconds before pushing into me slowly, I was mildly surprised when I realised Edward was wearing a condom.

I continued to tease my clit with the toy, as Edward inched himself deeper into my recess. When he filled me completely; I plunged the vibrator deep within me, I kept pace with Edward as he slowly withdrew and pushed back into me.

I increased my pace; twisting the toy as I repeatedly plunged it into my core, "fuck me harder Edward." His groan was like a shot of adrenalin to my centre, I flicked the up the speed, sighing deeply as the toy vibrated against my walls.

Edward thrust into me repeatedly, his fingers gripping tightly to my hips, "Bella I can't believe how good it feels, you're ass is so tight baby, the vibrations from your toy are making my cock throb."

I flicked up the speed again; pressing the latex head against my clit, I teased my swollen bud, only pulling the toy away when I was at the brink.

"Bella…I want you to cum with me…I want you to fuck yourself hard with that toy…and don't stop until I tell you."

"I'm so close baby…you feel so good inside me." His hands slid over my ass cheeks, caressing them softly as he continued to pound into me.

I was rapidly working myself into a frenzy, the sensations were becoming too much, the intense pleasure building in my body suddenly burst forth, I closed my eyes, Edwards name fell repeatedly from my lips as I continued to pump the toy into me, not allowing myself to come down from my orgasm.

I started to pull the toy from within me; the sensations were pushing me past endurance, but Edwards's growl reminded me of his earlier command. "That's right love keep fucking yourself. I want to feel you cum again and again."

"Edward… too… much…can't keep this up…" I stammered, my body began to shudder as another orgasm washed over me; I leaned further into the railing in an attempt to keep my shaking legs from giving way on me.

Edward thrust again; I slowed the speed on the vibrator, holding it inside me as Edward's strokes became more urgent, "Bella turn up the toy and cum with me my love."

I flicked up the speed, working the toy rhythmically in unison with each of Edward's strokes.

I could feel another orgasm building, "Edward I'm gonna cum baby...can't hold on…oh fuck, fuck Edward…" I was so caught up in my pleasure I wasn't aware of the soft mewling noises issuing from my throat, until Edward growled.

"God Bella; I love that sound...I want hear that every time you cum for me… you're so beautiful…your ass is so tight against my cock…love…to…fuck…you…your orgasms are just for me…I…own them…mine Bella…" I pulled the toy from my core as Edward shuddered violently behind me.

His hand slid between my legs, coating his fingers with my cum, "God Bella your so wet, can you feel your cum dripping down your thighs."

"Yes." I moaned. He placed a row of open mouth kisses along my back as his cock slid from between my cheeks.

I stretched my arms over my head, Edward went to switch off the video camera and headed for the bathroom, I went to retrieve my robe, sliding it over my shoulders; I went to find Edward.

He was standing in the lounge; fully naked with the video recorder in his hand, he was watching the footage he'd shot earlier, his eyes full of lust.

We spent the rest of the night making love all over the apartment; I was pleased the only casualty from the night's events was a few cracks in the wall in the hallway, which my hands had caused from pushing against it too hard when Edward had me pressed against it ;as his cock pounded into me.

When we finally made it to bed just as dawn was breaking, I was feeling good. We had managed to make it through a whole night without me injuring myself or Edward losing control, the thought buoyed me; maybe Edward would loosen up now and we could do this more often.

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**A/N: Please review this chapter, I'm interested to know how you feel about the direction the story is taking...**


	23. Chapter 23 Devious

**A/N: Thanks to those of you who posted reviews please keep the feedback coming... Don't judge Bella too harshly, she doesn't realise yet that she's on a slippery slope to hell. **

**CHAPTER 23: DEVIOUS…**

We spent the rest of the night fucking throughout the house; the shower, the rug in front of the fireplace, the dinning room table, the bed, the hallway on the washing machine while it was on the spin cycle.

Edward kept his camera close filming every depraved act in high definition, watching us fucking on screen kept him in a constant state of arousal and I was impressed with his stamina.

Saturday dawned a beautiful day, I was pleased to see I had escaped the night unharmed with no bruising on my body, my muscles were tender but I had definitely had worse. Edward seemed to be pleased with how the night's events went.

"What do you feel like for breakfast love?" Edward called from the kitchen. I knew what I wanted, another rush like last night but how do I tell him.

"Um...More of what we had last night would be good," I said trying to sound like I was half joking.

"Bella," Edward growled his face appearing around the door to glare at me.

"Oh come on Edward let's make a weekend of it; last night was incredible I want a repeat, don't you?" I looked at him as innocently as I could manage, hoping he wasn't going to say no.

"Fine if that's what you want I'm not going to stop you, but Bella you're going to have to face the come down sooner or later and it's not going to be easy with a couple of nights of no sleep."

"Yeah I know but we had such a good time last night; it was nice to just really let loose you know." I smirked at him as I jumped up and followed him to the kitchen; I wanted to see how he prepared the drugs.

Ten minutes later, I was feeling like I could take on the world. I loved the intense energy that coursed through my veins like pure adrenalin. I went over to Rose's to wake her and Emmett. They were already awake, they actually looked like they hadn't been to bed either, they were making out on the couch; Emmett's hairy ass visible from the doorway.

God why didn't I knock? I thought to myself as I looked at the ceiling, "Do you to sex maniacs want to go to the park and play ball?" Emmett chortled as he stood up, giving me a full frontal, I covered my eyes with a groan waiting for his answer.

"Hell yeah Bells, and why are you acting so shy?I've seen most of your body naked. I thought it was only fair you saw me naked too, then you won't be so embarrassed about showing me your movie. If it makes it easier Bells we'll swap you one of ours." I kept my hand clamped firmly over my eyes.

"You've only seen me naked because you insist on barging into my apartment unannounced and I was happy in the fact that I hadn't seen you naked Emmett. I knew when the day finally came I would be scarred for life and I now I will be. And I'm pretty sure if Edward and I saw one of your sex tapes we'd need therapy for life."

"Bells; Eddie might learn a thing or two if he watched it." Emmett's booming laugh erupted around the room mingling with Rose's bell like peals.

"Your brother doesn't need lessons Emmett considering he's the living incarnation of the ultimate sex god."

Emmett snorted, "I hope you haven't told him that Bella, it'll go straight to his head; and not the one in his trousers."

"Would you just hurry up and cover yourself so I can remove my hand from my eyes."

I laughed at Emmett's very audible sigh, "Fine; you can look now."

I chanced a glance through my splayed fingers and swore loudly when I took in the image of Emmett standing there with a fully erect cock; I slammed my eyelids shut. "Fuck you Emmett; you're one twisted mother fucker."

"I think you meant sister fucker; I've never fucked any ones mother before. And Bells I would only fuck you with Rose's permission." I was expecting Rose to tell Emmett to fuck off; I couldn't stifle my surprised gasp at Rose's response.

"Only if Bells let me have a ride on her ultimate sex god," I felt my blush warming my cheeks I wanted to cover my ears but my hands were busy protecting my eyes.

"Bloody hell; you two are seriously twisted fuckers, I'm getting the fuck out of here before I need a course of shock therapy to erase this horrific scene from my memory." I turned quickly and made my escape before they could say or do anything else to wind me up.

We spent all day in the park playing ball and goofing around. I got some great photos for my private album, both Emmett and Rose and Alice and Jasper seemed as happy as Edward and I. It warmed my heart to see my sisters happy.

Rose decided that Edward, Alice and Jasper needed to be filled in on our morning conversation; Edward was quiet while Rose recounted the events of the morning, Alice and Jasper rolled around the ground laughing so hard they both had tears streaming down their faces.

Once Alice had recovered enough to speak she looked over at me with that demonic look in her eye, "So Bella are you not even the tiniest bit curious about what it would be like to fuck Jasper or Emmett? I've wondered what it would be like to fuck Edward."

I saw Edward's jaw clench, and I knew in that instant that he'd never thought about having sex with my sisters, so there was no way I was going to admit I had once wondered albeit briefly what Jasper would be like in bed, "No Alice I haven't."

"God Bella, you are so uptight…" Alice chortled.

"You, Rose, Jaz and Emmett are welcome to partner swap or exchange sex tapes whenever you like Alice, but I don't need anyone else to satisfy me I'm happy with Edward's cock." I winked at Edward and he smirked at his brothers.

Emmett led another round of ball, Edward and I watched them from a few feet away from the shadow of a large maple tree, I straddled Edward's lap adjusting my flowing cotton halter neck dress so my bare ass cheeks came in contact with the thin material of his shorts.

His hand slid under the bunched up fabric of my dress, inching slowly up my inner thigh; I smiled when I heard his breathing hitch as his fingers discovered my bare wet pussy, "Bella you naughty little cock tease, you've been out here all day with no panties on, and you never told me."

"I knew you'd discover my secret sooner or later, so now you know what are you going to do about it?" I teased, half expecting him to drag me back to our apartment.

"We are going to stay right here and I'm going to play with and tease your clit Bella, I'm going to fuck you with my fingers until you cum around them. Then I'm going to slide my cock inside you and make you ride me until I cum in your beautiful wet pussy."

His lips grazed over my bare shoulders kissing and nipping the pale flesh, his thumb circled over my clit as he slipped his fingers into my warmth.

He kept up a constant commentary of all the deprived things he was going to do to me later as his magic fingers worked my sex.

Edward knew my orgasm was approaching and whispered, "Bella you need to be quiet when you come for me." I nodded my head and clenched my jaw shut fighting the urge to call out; I allowed his name to hiss through my teeth as I came around his fingers.

He slid his fingers from me; I shifted my position so he could slip his shorts over his hips freeing his hard cock from its restraint. I positioned myself over him; Edward's hands gripped my hips, a growl rumbling from his throat when I engulfed him in my warmth.

He adjusted my dress so it covered us, I checked that the other's were still engrossed in their game before lifting myself slightly and pushing down to meet Edwards thrust, I worked Edward slowly, allowing his hands to guide my movements and speed. I kept my eyes on the others, his mouth roamed across my shoulder licking my sensitive skin.

We built into a steady rhythm our bodies moving in sync, I contracted my muscles moulding them around his cock, his warm breath tickled when he groaned against my skin, his cock throbbed against my walls.

"Jesus Bella…keep going baby…your cunts so tight… feels amazing around my cock…Bella…ride me harder baby…fuck…I love cuming in you ." I kept my muscles clenched milking every last drop of cum from Edward's cock as he shuddered against me.

He growled when I slid off him; I shielded him from prying eyes while he pulled his shorts over his hips. He took my out stretched hand pulling himself to his feet, we yelled good bye to the others and made our way back to my apartment.

I smiled to myself as I followed Edward through the door; it had been such a perfect day, I didn't want it to end.

We spent the whole night making love, revisiting some of our favourite's places from the night before, finally falling asleep out of share exhaustion just after dawn. I set my alarm for work at least I had a whole day and night to catch up on sleep.

I struggled into consciousness, reaching over to slam my fist down on my screeching alarm clock, damn that meant it was Monday already. I forced my eyelids open and immediately closed them again, sleep was trying to overcome me but I knew I had to get to work.

Edward groaned as he rolled over, pulling me back against his chest he kissed a trail along my shoulder, "Morning love, how are you feeling?"

"Ugh I feel like shit, I need water, food and more sleep. And if I don't get up right now I'm going to be late for work." I moaned; I slipped from his embrace before he could side track me.

I stumbled out of bed and into the bathroom, I felt so fatigued my muscles ached; my head felt spaced out and I was extremely irritated. I let the hot water cascade over me hoping it would relieve some of my tension.

Edward joined me in the shower; looking at my face he frowned; "Bella are you alright," his fingertips traced the dark circles that shadowed the skin under my eyes.

"No I feel like I could sleep for another week my muscles are aching and I'm so bloody hungry, we haven't eaten since Friday."

"I warned you the come downs a bitch, its way worse when you shoot the stuff as apposed to snorting it." Edward looked at me sympathetically, which irritated me greatly for some reason.

"Yeah well I don't regret it; that was such an incredible weekend don't you think?"

"Yes it was but its one we won't be repeating," his voice had a note of finality to it. I stayed silent but I was seething.

After he washed me, he slipped from the shower promising me a feast when I had finished in the bathroom. When I arrived in the kitchen thirty minutes later I was glad to see a huge assortment of fresh fruit and my favourite apricot Danishes from the little bakery on the corner of my street.

"Edward this looks amazing," I sat down at the table grabbing a piece of fresh mango from the plate popping it in my mouth with a satisfied sighed, he handed me a coffee and placed a warm Danish in front of me.

I considered phoning in sick and going back to bed, but I was determined not to let my private life interfere with my job, I kissed Edward goodbye, my resolve began to crack when his kiss took on a sense of urgency and his hand slid under my skirt and inched its way up my thigh.

I squirmed away from him, rushing out the door without a backward glance, proud of myself for resisting.

I managed to make it to work on time, I felt like shit; I couldn't concentrate and I ended up leaving early after getting the bare minimum of work done. The rest of the week wasn't much better I worked through my lunch breaks to get through the backlog of work I had in my in tray.

When I arrived home on Friday night Edward was already there, the advantages of being your own boss I guess. He had cooked us a lovely dinner of filet steak and Greek salad, the food felt funny in my stomach but I did appreciate it.

I looked at Edward who was taking a long sip of his pineapple juice. "So babe what do you feel like doing tonight?" I tried to keep my voice innocent, but by the look in his eyes, he knew what I was getting at.

He kept his face neutral and his voice even, "How about we have an early night love I'm still feeling a little fatigued."

"Sure honey what ever you want, I'll go and have a shower and see you in bed." I kissed his forehead, "thank you for dinner it was lovely." I almost ran to the bathroom I didn't want Edward to see the hot angry tears spilling from my eyes.

I stood under the hot water seething; I hated this side of our relationship. Edward knew what I wanted to do tonight and he didn't give me a choice, he had made the decision that I wasn't having any drugs and that pissed me off. Fuck him who does he think he is? I'm an adult and I'm going to decide when I get high not Edward. I knew I was being unfair and irrational but I couldn't stop myself.

I slipped out of the shower; calling to Edward that it was free. I made my way to my room; dressing in my snoopy pyjamas and got into bed. I pretended to be asleep when he climbed into bed ten minutes later; he knew by bed attire that I was pissed off.

I heard him sigh deeply as he snuggled into my back, "Goodnight love." I ignored him and tried to clear my mind so sleep would take me.

~~~~~~~xxx~~~~~~~

It had been two months since Edward and I had been on our little bender, he seemed content not to venture back down that road. I on the other hand was becoming consumed, thinking about ways I could get high, with or without Edward. But how? I needed a contact; someone Edward didn't know, but who?

The answer came three weeks later when I bumped into an old college friend at star bucks. "Bella? Isabella Swan is that you?" I turned around to see who was addressing me and was surprised to see my old grade school mate Eric Yorkie standing there.

"Hey Eric long time no see. How are you?" I sipped on my drink; giving a small sigh of appreciation as I waited for his answer.

"I'm good Bella, I've been busy producing music video's in L.A. you know living life in the fast lane." I didn't miss the connotation in his voice and my heart sped up at the prospect that he might be the very person I was looking for. "How about you what have you been doing?"

"Working for the U.N. and not much else," I lamented.

"The U.N. that sounds pretty cool." He seemed genuinely impressed.

"Not as cool as producing music that's an awesome job."

"So true; any way Bella I'm only in town for tonight and tomorrow, so how about having dinner with an old friend?" I thought about it for a moment; I couldn't see the harm beside Edward was out of town on business until next Friday.

"Sure Eric just let me go home and change and I'll meet you at the Steak House at eight." I gave him the address of the bistro and my cell phone number before I headed to back to my building.

After a quick catch up dinner in which I learnt that Eric was engaged to a Brazilian super model, we hit a new Club he part owned.

We were in the VIP section when Eric leaned over and flashed a tiny bag of crystals at me with a smile, "Do you indulge Bella?"

"Hell yeah," I grinned as he slipped the tiny bag into my jacket pocket. Here was the link I was looking for; I asked Eric if I could score regularly off him, I explained how Edward wasn't really into it.

"Sure Bells just text me when you need some and I'll courier it to you."

"Thanks Eric; I really appreciate that." We left the club about four; I was feeling good since I'd only drunk four glasses of champagne.

Eric dropped me at my apartment, promising to keep in touch, even though anticipation was building in my stomach; I decided it would probably be best to get as much sleep as possible before I indulged myself.

I awoke just before midday on Saturday feeling well rested; I showered and dressed quickly, throwing on jeans and a tank top, I pulled a cap down low over my forehead before heading out to buy myself some syringes.

I was back in my apartment within the hour making sure all my doors were dead bolted before racing to the kitchen.

I prepared the drugs the same way Edward did making sure I did everything right; I raced to the bathroom with the syringe gripped firmly in my hand locking the door after myself. My breathing and heart rate accelerated as I sat down on the floor.

I had a week to perfect this before Edward came home; the thought spurred me on.

The syringe trembled, as I studied the veins in my hands, I chose one quickly and prepared the site. It took me four goes to get it right, my hand was feeling and looking bruised where I'd missed the vein, but finally I was experiencing that same intense rush I'd been craving for months.

I didn't feel like hanging around in my apartment, so I grabbed my camera and headed out onto the streets of New York. I was suddenly feeling very creative, I had a new idea for an exhibition; I was going to call it 'New York in love'. I roamed the streets and central park capturing image after image of happy couples sharing spontaneous intimate moments.

I had been out about four hours; I was still searching for the perfect images to use as the centrepiece for my exhibition, they came in the form of a young Indian couple who were holding hands as they walked through the park, the woman was dressed in a beautiful pale green sari that covered her heavily pregnant body. As they walked the man suddenly leaned over and kissed her cheek, she looked back at him with such love and adoration on her face.

The other was an elderly couple walking together in the park, they held hands as they ambled along the path, he raised their entwined hands to his lips kissing her hand lightly, her face lit up into a luminous smile as she looked into her husbands craggy face.

They were my favourite images so far, and I went home feeling extremely happy with how my exhibition would look, I had captured 'New York in Love' perfectly and my confidence soared.

Edward wouldn't be ringing until the morning; I spent all night cleaning and rearranging the furniture; sleep the furthest thing from my mind and I needed something to occupy myself, I finished just as the sun came up and was ready to have another little binge.

Edward rang just as I left the bathroom, I was petrified that he'd realise I was high; I tried my hardest to concentrate and not talk incessantly or act in anyway that would give me away.

I asked how his trip was going and if Emmett was behaving himself; and lamented that I missed him. I must have been doing alright because he didn't seem like he was suspicious or noticed that I was high.

I could hear weird noises in the background as he spoke, "Edward what is that noise in the background? It almost sounds like a cat mewling."

"That's you love I'm watching my home movie on my laptop. You're so exquisite when you cum Bella, the sounds you make are the sweetest music love. " His low velvety voice sent a wave of desire over me and all of a sudden I wanted nothing more than to have Edward here fucking me.

I headed for my room rummaging around in the closet for my toy box grabbing my vibrator and a string of beads something I had yet to use with Edward; I knew it would drive him insane knowing he was missing out on both the pleasure of inserting the beads himself or being able to watch me do it to myself.

I put the phone on speaker and stripped off my clothes; climbing onto the bed I purred down the line, "Has watching me fuck myself with my toy made your cock hard baby?" I smiled when I heard his breathing hitch.

"God yes; just the sight of you sucking my cock and fucking yourself with your toy makes me wanna cum, I'm gonna have to jack off in the shower when this is finished."

I decide to have some fun with him; I was horny and wanted a release, "I'm sitting here in bed naked, lonely and horny, I wish you were here; I want to feel your tongue licking my clit," I giggled when I heard him groan.

"Bella, hush your dirty little mouth love or I won't make it to the shower." Edward growled, but I carried on my teasing.

"Edward I have to keep myself amused somehow; and since you're not here to fuck my aching wet pussy, I flicked the vibrator on and held it up to the receiver, I'll have to cum all over my toy instead of your cock, your fingers and that magic tongue of yours…and I'm going to try out the beads, where do you think I should put them baby? I could put them up my pussy while I finger my clit or I could push them into my tight little ass and fuck my pussy with my vibrator."

"Bella why are you torturing me? You're not allowed to play with your toys without me especially those beads." I ignored him, rubbing the vibrating toy along my slit.

I moaned softly into the phone, making sure Edward could hear the low hum of the vibrator as I pressed it to my clit.

"Bella;" Edward growled, breathing heavily into the phone.

"Did you say you wanted me to push them up my pussy babe? I teased inserting the first bead with a sigh.

It slid easily into my wetness; I kept inserting the beads, pushing each of them further into my core. "God Edward I love the way these beads feel sliding into me, I've already got half a dozen of them inside me."

I could hear the muffled sounds of his hand stroking his cock; his breathing was becoming faster and uneven.

"Fuck Bella, I'm going to punish you when I get home, it should be me pushing those beads into your wet cunt." I shivered pleasurably at the thought of Edward punishing me.

"Edward, I'm so wet for you, I want you inside me, I want to feel every inch of your cock buried in me; pounding into my wet pussy making me cum." Edward and I moaned in unison, I pushed the last of the beads into me and ran the vibrator along my slit rubbing against my swollen clit.

"God Edward the beads feel amazing, and the sensations on my clit are making me drip."

"Fuck Bella I want you to cum for me, let yourself go baby, I'm going to cum for you." Edward's words were all it took to bring my orgasm rushing forth, the vibrations of the toy coupled with the sensation of pulling the beads from my core made my climax so intense.

"Oh fuck...Edward...fuckfuckfuck...Ed...Ward feels...want more…can't stop…beads incredible baby…" I didn't want my climax to end; I slipped the toy into my core, flicking up the speed driving it deeper as my hips bucked forward.

I continued to pump the toy as my free hand palmed over my breasts; I was on the verge of another orgasm when Edward cried out.

"Bella...fuck... love…want...your tight warm pussy, always… so wet...fuck baby.. wanna bury myself… gonna cum deep inside…" His voice caught in his throat, a deep guttural growl rent the air.

The sound brought me back to my senses momentarily, I was aware I was making those same mewling noises as I came, that Edward had just listen to on his computer. I knew he hadn't heard them since that night, but I couldn't stop them from escaping my lips as a second more powerful orgasm ripped through me.

Edward made no sound as he listen to me fall over the edge, I was so caught up in my delirium I forgot he was even on the phone as I thrashed around on the bed, whimpering his name and mewling, drawing as much as I could from my climax.

I discarded the toy and picked up the phone, I was breathless, panting and feeling light headed, but I tried to act like everything was normal, "Mmm thanks for you're help baby; that's put a different light on my day," I cooed.

"Bella they were some very intense orgasms; the kind you only have when you're high. Are you high now?"

I felt the shot of adrenaline shoot through my body, mixed with the meth it rushed through my veins accelerating my already pounding heart, as panic set in I felt my fright, flight, fight reflex kick in and got defensive, "No Edward I'm not, I was just really horny since we haven't fucked for a few days. I can't believe you'd think I'd do that without you."

I felt guilty at the lie and mean when I heard the accusatory tone of my voice, and shame when I heard him apologise for asking.

We said our goodbyes quickly, I lay back on the pillow trying to calm myself down; I had almost been caught the very first time. I would need to be way more careful, if Edward was suspicious he'd bound to be watching for signs.

I spent the rest of the day trying to analyze how different my actions and reactions were when I was on meth so I could learn to modify my behaviour. That way I could fool even Edward, by the time I was ready to try to get some sleep I had identified several differences and I felt confident they would be easy to hide.

I managed to get a few hours of restless sleep that night after another energetic session with my toys I was still making those damn mewling noises; they were going to be the problem.

I was going to try and pull off going to work high tomorrow, so much for not letting my personal life interfere with my work, I'm sure that thought was half the reason I tossed and turned all night.

My day at work went off without a hitch; I got through twice as much work not having to stop for lunch and working at a brisk pace.

I was able to spend time with Emmett, Rose, Alice and Jasper without them suspecting I was high, and I had also mastered not mewling, after a week of using the toys I could orgasm without the tell tale noises issuing from my mouth. I was feeling confident that I could pull this off without Edward knowing.

I left work early on Friday, I grabbed my mail and was elated to see a package from Eric; I'd text him asking him to send me a couple of grams, which should see me through for a while.

Once I in my apartment I headed for the bathroom and stashed a hand full of syringes and a gram in an old tampon box and hid it in the back of the bottom draw of the vanity. I pulled the draw right out of its holding and hid the rest of the syringes in the cavity at the bottom before putting the draw back in place.

I had formulated a plan to allow me to use without Edward's knowledge, I just had to be a little devious. I planned to get up super early every morning, have my taste and go back to bed and pretend to be asleep as I wait for him to wake.

I knew the test would come when I made love with him. I had to be careful and try to be conscious about what I asked him to do, I was sure that would be how he'd fine me out.

Edward didn't seem like he noticed anything different about me when he arrived home, mind you the minute he was in the door he dropped his suitcase threw me over his shoulder and carried me to the bedroom, growling something about having those beads ready.


	24. Chapter 24 then the cracks appear

**A/N: Thank you to those of you who reviewed, please keep the feedback coming it motivates me to update quicker. Please Don't give up on Bella she's in for rough ride... Sorry this chapters so short. **

**DISCLAIMER: S Meyer owns Twilight...**

**________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

**CHAPTER 24: Then The Cracks Appear….**

I had managed to hide my drug use for the last eight months, I was using meth every day and I was in total denial that I was an addict. Though I had managed to keep up the perfect façade all these months, I knew my personality was changing, though I didn't want to admit it to myself.

Not only was I secretive and guarded, I was becoming increasingly angry and sullen, I was also defensive and at times withdrawn. Even though I had managed to hide my addiction from those closest to me, I still lived in constant fear that I was going be caught out. I was so exhausted and my nerves were wound tight.

I was still getting up at five thirty every morning to have a fix but I wasn't getting a rush or high anymore; I was taking it too…Hell I don't know why I was still taking it, because I'm an addict.

Thing's were getting so out of control; I was taking a fix with me to work, sneaking off to the bathroom just before lunch. Work was becoming a nightmare; I was no longer the efficient worker I once was, I was now barely managing to get any of my work done due to my lack of concentration.

I had no idea how to stop using meth or even if I wanted too, I felt confused scared and lonely. I was up early again today, quickly preparing what I was convinced I needed.

The knock on the bathroom door startled me; I was sitting on the floor, the used syringe still in my hand. Panic froze me to the spot; thank god, I had locked the door.

"Bella love are you ok, can I come in?" Edward didn't wait for my answer as he tried to turn the door handle but it didn't move. "Why is the door locked, Bella what are you doing in there? it's ten to six in the morning."

I quickly stuffed the syringe in the tampon box, trying not to make to any noise as I shut the draw; I opened the door to see Edwards's concerned face staring back at me.

"Bella;"

"What Edward?" I exploded as a wave of rage swept over me, "what's with the twenty fucken questions, it's not a fucken crime to lock the bathroom door is it?" I pushed past him, not before seeing the look of pain and confusion on his face, and headed for the kitchen, making myself a hot cup of coffee and trying to calm myself down.

What the fuck had I just done? I yelled at Edward for nothing, that's what I'd done. A small part of me immediately felt guilty but a bigger part of me was still pissed off.

Edward joined me in the kitchen after his shower; he looked at me with love and concern and I felt the guilt eating me up inside. I contemplated telling him what was going on, but I didn't have the courage.

"Edward I'm so sorry, I had no right to speak to you like that. I'm really sorry I hurt you baby." I went to sit in his lap, kissing his forehead and the tip of his nose. He smiled my favourite crooked smile and my anger melted.

"Ok love; thank you for apologising I appreciate that, but Bella I'm extremely worried about you and I want you to go and see your Doctor for a check up." He spoke in a calm gentle voice, obviously afraid of how I was going to react.

"Why do you think I need to see a Doctor; Edward?" Panic was rising in me; did he know something? Was I about to be caught? I tried not to hyperventilate.

"Well love; you're just not your normal self, you look tired; your eyes have lost their sparkle, the circles shadowing your eyes are getting darker everyday and your skin has lost its healthy glow. I think you should have the doctor run some tests."

"Oh…um alright; I will make an appointment for next week, now I need to get to work before I'm late." I kissed him softly and headed for the shower, damn if Edward was noticing changes in me who else was? I got my answer at work that day.

"Isabella can I see you in my office with that report on the Darfur initiatives I asked you to prepare last week please." Brandon's voice cracked like a whip, he was obviously in a foul mood. This was not good news for me since I had forgotten to do the report.

Oh, shit… oh fuck… fuck shit fuck. "Um Mr Lawrence the report hasn't arrived back from the printers, I'll ring them and see where it is."

"Miss Swan I need that report on my desk by the end of the day. Is everything alright Isabella? You don't seem your usual self?"

"Yes sir every things fine thank you for asking, I'll get onto the printers right away." So it wasn't just Edward that was starting notice; Brandon was as well. I pushed the thought aside. I pushed away all the other work I needed to catch up on and began working on the report.

Luckily, for me I had some well-drafted notes, which I began to edit furiously, mashing my fingers down on the keyboard as I made the necessary changes. I rang the printers to see if they could rush my report through, the fact that I was friendly with the crew down there was my saving grace, they rushed through my project and I had it on Brandon's desk at five.

It was nowhere near up to the standard of my usual work but it was better than nothing. I placed the folder down on Brandon's desk and left the office for the day, for once I felt completely exhausted.

The cracks were beginning to appear and I didn't know how to fix them . The thought petrified me. I decided to stop at a little bar five minutes down the road from my apartment; I was only going to have one drink, but before I knew it was midnight.

I stumbled home trying not to wake Edward as I fumbled around in the dark for the light switch. I finally located it and winced; the bright light hurt my eyes.

I looked around the room and my heart faulted; there was Edward; sitting in the armchair looking positively furious.

"Bella, where the hell have you been? I've been worried sick, I've been calling your phone all night but you never answered." I stood frozen to the spot, Edward had never yelled at me before and I'd never seen him look so angry.

"Sorry Babe I had a shit day and stopped for a drink, I didn't mean for you to worry; I should have called." I looked at him apologetically but his face never softened and neither did his tone.

"What the fuck is going on with you Bella?"

Anger reared like a snake inside me, "Nothing's fucken going on Edward; I had a bad day I stopped for a drink, I don't have to fucken justify myself to you." I was shocked at the venomous sound of my voice.

"You know what Bella you're right; you just go a head and do whatever the fuck you like; while I sit around and wait for you. You're being a selfish bitch." He stood up sighing in exasperation, his green eyes blazing and stormed to the bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

I picked up his empty coffee cup and threw it against the wall; shattering it into a hundred pieces, "Fuck you Edward." He never came out of the bedroom or responded to me in any way.

I knew I was the one who was way out of line; but I wasn't in the mood to deal with Edward tonight. I grabbed a blanket and sunk onto the couch; curling into a ball I closed my eyes and cried myself to sleep.


	25. Chapter 25 Saviour

**A/N: As usual thank you to those who took the time to review, your feedback is appreciated and please keep them coming. **

**I base my character's drug taking habits on New Zealand standards, any of the situations Bella has faced in this story could realistically happen.**

**New Zealand is in the grips of methamphetamine epidemic. The U.N. named N.Z. as having the higest number of meth users per capita in the world. The illegal meth trade in N.Z. is estimated to be worth more than 1.5 billion dollars a year. New Zealand has a population of 4 million people.**

**It is extremely easy to hide a meth addiction from your family and friends, there are many people capable of being functioning addict and eight months is a reatively short time for your life to fall apart. It is very dependant on the type of person you are as to how you cope with addiction. Methface doesn't happen to everyone. As for it being a drug for low lives I have to respectfully disagree. Meth addiction (in NZ) is prevalent to all walks of life and is used more frequently by working and upperclass people.**

**METH is an insidious drug that is highly addictive and dangerous...**

**DISCLAIMER: I've said before and I'll say it again, S. Meyer owns twilight...But I own Triplets...**

**_______________________________________________________________________________________________________**

**CHAPTER 25: Saviour…**

Edward had already left for work when I woke in the morning; I was glad; I didn't think I could face him. I dragged myself off the couch, heading for the bathroom to give my body it's morning fix. I cleaned up the broken coffee cup then headed to work.

I managed to get through most of the backlog of work in my in tray, Brandon had given me a stern reprimand about the poor quality of my report and I left work feeling like shit again. I hadn't heard from Edward all day, I was keen to get home and make up with him; I hated that we'd had our first fight and had not resolved it yet.

Edward was at home when I arrived; I went to put my arms around him but he pulled away, looking at me intently.

"Edward I'm sorry about last night; I should have called you and told you what I was doing." I hoped an apology was a good place to start; he didn't say anything as he took my hand and led me to the couch.

"Bella we need to talk." Edward's voice was full of pain, my mouth went dry; was he about to break up with me? Tell me he was better off without me? My eyes filled with tears and my breath caught.

As I sat down; keeping my eyes downcast. As I leaned toward the coffee table; I saw two blue tampon boxes sitting there side by side. I froze; my eyes widened, panic and fear flooded through me, a strangled sob escaped from deep within my chest.

Edward stared at me pensively before speaking, "Is there something you'd like to tell me Bella?" His voice was barely a whisper; but there was no mistaking the hurt there.

I began to shake so violently I was almost convulsing, hot tears spilled down my cheeks. I buried my face in Edwards lap and sobbed. His hands stroked my hair soothingly, he sat in silence while I laid there crying out all my guilt and shame. As scared as I was; I also felt relief at finally being caught, maybe now this nightmare would end.

I finally stopped crying and pulled myself out of Edward's lap, I looked him straight in the eyes; I was expecting to see anger, disappointment and hatred in his beautiful eyes. My breathing hitched and my heart skipped a beat when I saw the love there.

I tried to stifle the little shoot of hope burgeoning in my chest; Edward could just be trying to pacify me before he dropped the bombshell that he was leaving me.

"How long has this been going on Bella?" Edward kept his voice even; his face impassive.

"For the past eight months," I dropped my gaze to my lap; a wave of shame washed over me.

His shocked gasp shattered my heart, I looked up and saw tears falling from his eyes, "How often Bella?"

"Every day," I closed my eyes as his wretched sob echoed around me, driving a stake deep into my heart. "I'm so sorry Edward," I threw my arms around him as fresh tears leaked from my eyes, "I didn't realise at first how bad I'd gotten, I'm so confused and scared and I don't know what to do or how to stop."

His silence was like torture; I couldn't be in the same room as him anymore, I felt so disgusted in myself knowing how much I had hurt him. I wanted to run, run far away; so I could never hurt him again. I tried to stand, preparing to make my escape but Edwards hand enclosed around my wrist.

"You're not going anywhere Bella," he said quietly.

I sat back on the couch defeated; I hugged my knees to my chest keeping my face pressed firmly against them my eyes shut tight.

"Where have you been getting the drugs Bella? So help me god if Emmett has anything to do with this I'll kill him," He growled, his eyes flashing dangerously.

I instantly panicked for Emmett, "No it wasn't Emmett. I've been getting it from an old college mate who's been sending it to me from L.A."

"How much have you been using Bella?"

Edwards question brought another wave of shame crashing over me. I didn't want to answer this question but I knew I it was time to face the truth.

"About half a gram a week;" I shocked myself when I said it aloud; how had I gotten so bad?

"Fuck Bella; how are you still even holding it together?"

"I'm not holding it together Edward; everything is crashing down around me, my life's spiralling out of control and I don't know how to stop it." My words rang in my ears.

The reality of my life crashed over me; I couldn't deal with this any longer; my shame and self loathing were eating away at me. I didn't want to face reality.

I ran for the bathroom locking the door; I tried to hold back my sobs, as the bile rose in my throat. Edward knocked on the door; pleading with me to open it; but I couldn't face him right now, I turned on the shower hoping the hot water would help clear my head.

When I finally opened the bathroom door, I found Edward sitting on the floor in the hallway crying into his hands. My stomach lurched at the sight of his crumpled form. I tugged at his arm; trying to get him to his feet. He finally stood and let me lead him to the bedroom; we lay on the bed staring into each other's tear filled eyes.

"What am I going to do Edward? I can't go back to work; I have no idea how my body's going to react when it doesn't get its fix." That thought sent me into a panic attack and I was soon gasping for air.

"Calm down Bella, it'll be alright. Tomorrow you are entering a private treatment facility in Hawaii. You will be there for a month maybe longer depending on how well you respond to the program. I'm going to do what ever it takes to make you well again Bella; I'm going to bring back that beautiful sweet loving girl you were before I ruined your life."

Anger flared inside me I knew he'd blame himself, "Edward you didn't ruin my life. Please don't start blaming yourself for what I've done. You are the very best part of my life, I can't exist without you. It's important to me that you don't blame yourself. If I'm ever going to get better I need to take responsibility for my actions. And I do take full responsibility for my actions. How long have you known and have you told my family?" Oh, god what was my family going to say?

"I've known something wasn't right with you for quite a while. I thought about drugs; but I didn't want to believe you would do that behind my back. When you totally over reacted over my asking about the locked bathroom door I was fairly certain of what you were trying to hide. I left work early today; I wanted to search the bathroom for what you were hiding. When I found what was in the tampon boxes; I rung your family and told them what was going on. They wanted to stage an intervention but I wouldn't allow it. I asked them to let me talk to you. They will be here later tonight to say goodbye, I've also arranged a leave of absence from your job."

I sobbed into my pillow; Edward pulled me against his chest; burying his face in my hair, "Edward I can't do this. I don't want to face my family; I'm so ashamed, the image of your hurt face is enough torture for one lifetime."

"No one is judging you love; especially not me; we just want you to get well Bella."

"But Edward I don't think… I can't be away from you for that long. I can't do this without you; I won't cope all alone in that place," I was absolutely petrified. "You'll find someone better when I'm gone and forget all about me and I can't lose you." I was becoming hysterical; my chest constricted and my breath was coming in short sharp gasps. I shuddered violently as my sobs wracked my body.

"Bella love; please calm down, you can do this and you will do it. And while I wont' be able to be in contact with you for the first three weeks; I promise you Bella the second I'm allowed to see you; I'll be there by your side. Sweetheart no one could replace you in my heart. You've got me forever baby."

"I don't deserve you Edward. You deserve someone who's more than a junkie." Even though I knew what I was saying was the truth, he did deserve better, I wouldn't let him go without a fight.

Edward growled, "Bella don't you ever say that about yourself; I'm responsible for introducing you to the pick, I'm the monster who doesn't deserve you."

"Edward please don't try and take responsibility for this, it only makes me hate myself more." We lay on the bed holding each other in the gathering darkness; I was feeling a little calmer, until I heard Alice calling from the lounge.

I started to panic again; Edward kissed my lips whispering to me to stay calm and reassuring me, we were in it together.

He got off the bed, "I'll go out and talk to them first while you get dressed," as his hand gripped the door handle the image of him walking out the door tipped me over the edge.

"Edward please don't walk out that door; don't leave me," I cried looking at him with pleading eyes.

"Bella love I will just be in the next room; you're alright sweetheart. I promise you I won't go further than the lounge." He tried to smile reassuringly, but it wasn't working.

"Please Edward I can't do this; I don't want to see them, just lock the door and let's go to bed." I begged, fresh tears leaking from my eyes.

Edward let go of the door handle and was back on the bed in seconds; crushing his body to mine, I clung to him, wrapping my arms and legs tightly around him. I pressed my lips to his throat, "Stay with me."

I never heard the bedroom door open and I started when I felt a pair of small warm arms embrace me, "Are you alright Bells?" Alice whispered in my ear; her voice choked with emotion.

"No Alice; I'm not alright, but I will be." I felt other pairs of hands touching me soothingly; I never moved my head from Edward's neck to acknowledge there presence.

"We're here for you Bella; we all love you and we just want you to get well sweetheart. Please don't shut us out; we'll do what ever you want, just don't push away from us Bella." The sound of Victoria's pleading voice brought a choked sob from my throat. I pressed myself further into Edward and tightened my grip on him.

I was sure I was hurting Edward; I was holding on so tightly to him. He never said anything or tried to loosen my grip; he just held me and stoked my hair.

The room around me was silent; no one seemed to know what to say or do. James finally broke the silence, "Bella we'll leave you to get dressed and wait for you in the lounge."

When I heard the door shut; I pulled away from Edward's chest, bringing my mouth to his; kissing him hungrily, he responded instantly kissing me back fiercely before finally pulling back.

"You need to get dressed love so we can get this over with and then we can come back to bed," I loosened my grip on him and allowed him to get off the bed. I threw on my snoopy pants and a sweater.

Edward waited for me to dress before opening the bedroom door and leading me to the lounge where my family was waiting. He slipped his arm around my waist and held me tightly. He never let me go, even when each of my family came to give me a hug and whisper worlds of love and encouragement to me.

We shared a quick cup of coffee with my family, everyone was very subdued especially Emmett, before Edward was politely saying that I'd had a hugely emotional day and I needed to get some sleep. James and Victoria left first promising to visit as soon as they were allowed, Rose hugged me next telling me to hurry up and get well, Emmett nearly broke my ribs with the force of the hug he bestowed on me telling me; to come home soon little sis.

I hugged Alice and Jasper; telling everyone I'd see them in a few weeks, as soon as they steeped through the door to Alice's apartment Edward and I were locking the doors and making a mad dash to the bedroom. We left a trail of clothes along the hallway as we tore off each garment. I was naked by the time I made it to our room.

We climbed into bed; crushing our bodies together, our forms moulding together perfectly as we kissed with a palpable sense of urgency, need and desire. Both of us knowing that time was against us.

Our hands roamed over each other's bodies; committing the feeling and smell of each other's skin to memory. We whispered words of love and commitment to each other in the darkness. We fell asleep clinging on to each other; our limbs entangled our faces inches from each others.

That was the first night I had the nightmare I woke screaming, sobbing and thrashing around the bed.

"Bella; it's alright love. I'm here with you; it was just a bad dream, go back to sleep sweet heart; you're safe."

I pressed myself against him; breathing in his beautiful musky scent; I felt soothed at once, "Thank you Edward; my love, my life, my saviour."


	26. Chapter 26 Road to Recovery

**A/N: Thank you to those of you who reviewed. Feedback is my inspiration so PLEASE keep it coming. This is the start of Bella's recovery, please note that I have taken liberties in regards to the time frames and the severity of Bella's detox in order to move the story along. She wouldn't be feeling so sick so quickly, in reality she wouldn't necessarily be feeling the effects of withdrawl for the first few days, and she would be feeling worse for a lot long than I have portrayed in the coming chapters. **

**DISCLAIMER: S MEYER OWNS TWILIGHT, I OWN TRIPLETS...**

**______________________________________________________________________________________________________**

**CHAPTER 26: Road to recovery**

I tried to ignore the alarm signalling my day of reckoning had well and truly arrived; I reached over and pounded on top of the clock in the hope of silencing its unwelcome reminder. I moved closer into Edward's body; trying not to think about how this would be the last time I woke up in this apartment with him for who knows how long.

My body was feeling heavy; my muscles were tight and aching, my first instinct was to get up and go for a taste; then I remembered that wasn't a reality anymore. The thought brought on my first panic attack of the day; I was soon hyperventilating and gasping for breath.

"Edward woke to the sound of my gasps; immediately trying to soothe me, "Bella love; you need to calm down it's not good for you to keep winding yourself up like this."

Anger flared in me; rushing through my body like molten lava; and I lashed out, "That's easy for you to fucken say; you're not the one flying across the country to be put in hospital with a whole bunch of strangers. Not being allowed any contact with anyone you know for three fucken weeks." I pushed him away; angry tears spilling down my cheeks.

"Please Bella; you have to do this for your own sake; you have to try." Edward tried pleading with me; but I was the one who was going to beg.

"Edward please; I can't do this; please don't send me away. I'll quit on my own with your help; you don't need to make me go away. I promise Edward; I can change; just please don't make me do this."

"Bella love; you can't do this alone; you need to go where professionals can monitor you. You're going to be pretty sick for the next few weeks while you detox love; you need medical guidance." Edward tried to keep his tone encouraging but I could hear the pain there.

Try as I might I couldn't calm down; Edward had one of his Doctor Friends make a house call to give me valium; before we headed to the airport. I was so out of it when we arrived at the Cullen's private hanger, Edward had to help me from the car and half carry me into the plane.

We arrived in Hawaii after a ten hour and half hour flight; I was gutted that I had spent most of the flight asleep in the comfortable king size bed. The highlight of the trip was when I awoke to find Edward's head between my legs.

I moaned with pleasure; as I struggled into consciousness. I tried to ignore the fact that my body felt like it had been run over by a bus and concentrate on the flickers of pleasure Edward's tongue were causing to pulse through my core.

My hands entangled in his hair; his name falling repeatedly from my lips as he brought me to my climax. I lay with my eyes closed; letting my endorphins rush through me. They made my body feel less heavy; it was almost like the rush from the needle; sadly that thought comforted me.

I all but ripped Edward's shirt off; as he dealt with his pants, sighing in relief when he finally entered me. I wrapped my legs firmly around him; my hands headed straight for his hair.

Edward wasn't holding back; as he pounded into me, he was fucking me with the same sense of desperation I felt.

Neither of us knew when we could be together like this again; it spurred us on to make love with reckless abandon.

All too soon, Edward was beginning to ramble, "Bella…need…you…can't live…without…my heaven…have to well…have…to come home…to me…Bella…"

XXXXXXX

The treatment facility was set in lush tropical grounds; I had my own private bedroom and my own medical team to monitor my detox. I would be having both one on one and group therapy sessions whilst I was here; and the amount of time I would have to stay depended on how well I responded to treatment.

I wasn't allowed to have any contact with Edward or anybody else outside the facility for the next three weeks.

My head Doctor was Piers Laurent; he was an old friend of Edward's, who assured me he was the most capable Doctor in the facility. He was a good-looking man; his skin the colour of dark chocolate; his eyes an unusual amber colour. He spoke in accentuated English with a thick French accent.

"Edward; you may say your goodbyes to Bella now and I assure you she is in the safest place possible." Edward nodded to Dr Laurent; he turned to face me.

Panic and fear were rising in me; this was my last chance to convince Edward not to leave me here, "Please Edward; don't do this; please don't leave me here alone." My voice shook as I pleaded.

"Bella Love; it's going to be alright; I promise you I will be back here in twenty one days, please just get well love so we can be together again, ok."

I tried to concentrate on what Edward was saying; tried to make myself believe he would come back for me; but all I could think was he was going to walk out the door and disappear from my life forever.

Before I realised what was happening; I was having a panic attack so severe I had to be sedated. I awoke some hours later in a hospital bed expecting to be alone; I looked to my left and saw Edward sitting in a chair by the bed watching me pensively.

"Your still here," I croaked; my throat was dry and hoarse from all the screaming I had done earlier.

"I couldn't just leave without saying goodbye to you love; so Piers allowed me to stay until you had woken."

"I'm sorry Edward; I will try my hardest to get through this as quickly as possible. I promise I will make you proud of me" Tears were falling from my eyes; Edward leaned over and kissed them away.

"Bella; I want you to take as much time as you need ok; you don't have to worry about anything but getting better." He kissed me softly at first; I deepened it; kissing him with a hint of urgency.

Way to soon he broke from the kiss, "I have to go now Love; but I promise you I will be back as soon as I 'm allowed."

He hugged me tightly; I clung to him in desperation. I closed my eyes as he disentangled himself from my embrace; he kissed my forehead; and whispered I love you. I kept my eyes shut tightly while he walked out the door.

If I thought I was going to die when Edward walked out the door; it was nothing to how I was feeling now. My skin felt like as though an army of bugs were crawling all over it; but from the inside, trying to claw their way out.

My muscles were clenching and relaxing at a phenomenal rate. I was constantly fluctuating between burning hot and freezing cold; I was being violently ill every twenty minutes.

Dr Laurent gave me an anti vomiting medication; but it only slowed the vomiting down. It went from every twenty minutes to every hour; I was desperate to rip out the IV that was keeping my hydrated.

My mind was racing along with my heart; I couldn't make any sense of the confused images flashing through my mind.

Even though the nurse gave me a sedative I didn't sleep peacefully; I thrashed around in my bed calling out for Edward to come and save me.

Doctor Laurent came in sometime in the night and gave me a stronger sedative; I drifted off into an uneasy sleep.

I don't know how long I'd been asleep when the nightmare started; I couldn't find Edward anywhere; I was lost and alone in a strange jungle like place. No many how long I searched for him or how many times I called out his name; I couldn't find him anywhere.

He had left me alone again.

I woke up screaming his name every few hours; then realising where I was; I would cry myself back to sleep only to go straight back into the nightmare; like my brain was stuck on repeat. If I thought the second day/night was going to be better, I was wrong so very wrong.

Every muscle in my body had gone locked up; literally had gone rigid, I couldn't move an inch. The bugs under my skin had multiplied from thousands to millions over night; and they were trying to claw their way out with renewed ferocity.

Every inch of my skin was crawling; I wanted to be sick but I couldn't move.

I couldn't hold back; I vomited all over myself while at the same time I urinated in the bed. I had no control over my faculties; I didn't have the energy to reach for the call button or call for the nurse, so I lay there covered in vomit and urine; as waves of shame and self-loathing washed over me; pulling me into their depths.

About five minutes later the nurse entered my room; she took one look at me and rushed to my bedside, "Oh dear are you alright their lovey?" She looked at me with concern; as she hit the call button to summon another nurse.

"Do I fucken look alright?" I exploded; rage replacing my feelings of self-loathing; I wanted nothing more than to attack the nurse for asking such a stupid question.

"Isabella; please calm down dear; so I can get you cleaned up." I lay their seething as the nurse began to strip the soiled covers off the bed, when her colleague entered the room she asked her to run me a bath.

The nurse returned from the bathroom and helped undress me; guiding me to the bath. I groaned in appreciation as I slid into aromatic water; lavender oil, if I wasn't mistaken. I knew I should apologise to the nurses; but I was still too aggravated to make amends.

After an hour of lying in the slowly cooling water, the nurse returned to help me from the bath.

I didn't want to leave the water until I had drowned all the bugs; but I did what the nurse asked of me. She helped me into fresh bedclothes; and brushed my damp hair with a long soft strokes, it was soothing.

I closed my eyes; imaging I was a child again; and that it was Rose and Alice brushing my hair; like they used to do every night.

After I'd brushed my teeth; I returned to bed.

My stomach cramps were almost crippling; I was grateful to be back in my bed, which now had fresh linen. I drifted off to sleep; only to wake screaming out Edward's name; someone was rubbing my back.

I relaxed thinking it was Edward who was soothing me, "It's alright Isabella; it was just a nightmare." I sobbed when I realised it was the nurse not Edward comforting me and I snapped.

"Get your fucking hands off me; you need to phone Edward; phone him right now and tell him to come and get me. I have to get out of here right fucking now; before I go fucking crazy. THIS IS HELL; I'M IN FUCKEN HELL AND I GOTTA GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE NOW. I GOT TO GET TO EDWARD; GO HOME TO EDWARD. SO HE DOESN'T FORGET ABOUT ME. I'M COMING HOME EDWARD." I was ranting and delirious; adrenaline pumping through my veins; I leapt up out of the bed.

I ripped the IV from my arm; pushing the advancing nurse with what strength I had; she fell backwards into the portable heart monitor; sending it and her crashing to the floor. I raced for the door; I was not even one-step through when I collided with a very sturdy chest.

I fell backwards hitting my head on the cold linoleum floor.

I don't know how many hours later it was; when I woke up screaming for Edward. I tried to move but I was restrained to the bed, I blinked rapidly a few times; trying to clear my blurry vision. My head was throbbing; I tried to focus on a shimmering white figure I could see swirling before my hazy eyes.

I thought it was an angel, which was strange because there are no angels in hell; unless it's some cruel joke they play on you; to lull you into a false sense of security before they tip you into the fiery pits.

My eyes slowly drifted into focus; it wasn't an angel it was a doctor in a white coat, "Fuck it; I am in hell." I muttered. I heard a brief musical laugh.

"Yes; many patients refer to it as hell Bella; but it's only like that while you go through the physical withdrawals after that it gets easier." He smiled at me; revealing a mouthful of gleaming white teeth.

"When will that be? Because at the moment I feel like I'm dying a slow torturous death; not getting better." He chuckled again.

"Every day it will get a little easier; but I'm afraid you still have some way to go on your road to recovery." He smiled a little apologetically; I frowned.

"Can you give me something to kill the bugs? I'd even consider pesticide at this point." I was desperate to get out of these restraints, so I could scratch my itchy skin and rub my severely cramped stomach.

"No I'm sorry Isabella I'm afraid not, I've already been giving you sedatives which I didn't want to do. You need to detox; if we keep pumping you full of drugs it will make the process so much harder and longer."

"Fine; how long do I have to be restrained?" I was getting seriously annoyed; not being able to move.

"Well Bella; you attacked a nurse and tried to escape, I could keep you restrained for the next forty eight hours." I looked at him in alarm, I doubted I'd cope being restrained for the next two days.

"Please Doctor Laurent; I promise I will be good; please don't keep me restrained." I pleaded, hoping he'd have mercy on me.

"Alright Isabella; I will give you one more chance; but if you try anything like what you did this morning again; I will have no choice but to restrain you."

"Thank you Doctor Laurent." I whispered in relief; as he moved to remove the restraints. As soon as my hands were free, I massaged my wrists; helping the blood flow return to my hands.

"Isabella; I would like to sit and talk with you for a while if you feel up to it?"

I didn't feel much like talking; my stomach cramps were now constant and severe. But if agreeing to talk was going to get me out of here quicker I would, "Sure Doc; pull up a chair."

I gave him a small smile as he moved toward the chair that had last been occupied by Edward; before he had walked out the door and left me alone.


	27. Chapter 27 face your demons

**A/N: AS I stated in the previous chapter I have taken some liberties with Bella's recovery as in speeding it up. Edward makes an appearance in the next chapter...So if you want him...you need to review....reviews=updates:)**

**DISCLAIMER: S MEYER OWNS TWLIGHT, OPSHOP OWNS 'One Day', I OWN TRIPLETS...**

**CHAPTER 27: Face your demons…**

Doctor Laurent pulled up a chair beside my bed; sitting down with perfect posture. I shifted my position; sitting up and pulling the covers over me.

"So Isabella; how long have you been using methamphetamine?"

"Recreationally; every now and then for about ten years; I've been abusing it for the most part of the last year."

"What do you think changed? What made you shift from recreational use to abuse?"

"Um... well... um...?" I stammered; not knowing what to say.

"Bella; the things we discuss today are confidential; until such time as you decide other wise." I felt reassured by Dr Laurent's words; it gave me the confidence to share my inner most thoughts.

"When I got introduced to using a needle; I got addicted to rush; then the more I used the harder it got to recreate the high; I didn't realise; or more truthfully; I was in denial about how far I had descended into addiction."

"How did taking the drugs make you feel?" Doctor Laurent scribbled notes on his pad; waiting for my answer.

"I felt confident, fun, a little less serious and free; at the start that is. After a while; I didn't really know any different; it just became a habit and I became a slave to it. I knew my life was out of control; I just didn't know how to ask for help." I answered as honestly as possible.

He scribbled down a few more notes; before he spoke again, "What did you feel you had freed yourself from; Bella? You said you felt free; free from what?"

"I felt free of hurt and fear; the pressure of responsibility, life. Free of the mundane, of sadness and insecurity"

"What has hurt you? What has caused you so much pain; that you felt like you needed to use drugs to escape it?"

"I don't know; maybe the pain of not knowing my parents; the fear that Edward might leave me again." I began to sob; as that thought took hold on my already fragile emotional state, "Edward's going to realise that he's better off without a junkie girlfriend.

"Bella; while you are an addict; there's no reason for you to define yourself as such. Edward told me you had a successful career in the United Nations. Not to mention a couple of very successful art exhibitions; there are many positive things about you Bella; and you need to focus your attention on those aspects of your personality. You run the risk of holding yourself back; if you focus or label yourself in a negative aspect."

I couldn't focus on Dr Laurent's words; or stop the rising sense of panic; that Edward would decide he in fact didn't want me; and he would not be here to visit when I was finally allowed visitors. The panic attack was swift and severe; before I knew what was happening; Dr Laurent was sedating me again.

I woke; screaming out for Edward; but of course he wasn't there. Dr Laurent had gone; but a nurse came bustling into the room with a tray of food; placing it on a bedside table before coming to adjust my pillows. I tried to eat the soft-boiled egg and toast the nurse laid before me; but as soon as the food hit my stomach; I was retching.

All though I was ravenously hungry; my stomach rejected solid food; the nurse brought me a fruit smoothie which I managed to hold down. I was losing weight rapidly; I had lost all muscle tone and definition, I looked like a walking skeleton.

My skin was sallow; my face looked gaunt and my eyes look like they'd sunken back into their sockets. The circles under my eyes were so dark; they looked like I been battered and bruised, my once shiny hair lay limp lank and lifeless.

I cried every time I saw myself in the mirror; I didn't even recognise myself anymore; so I stopped looking. I was still suffering from barely endurable muscle cramps; terrible fits of rage and despair and sporadic vomiting, I was positive I wasn't getting better; but Doctor Laurent assured me I was.

~~~~XXX~~~~

After I had been there a week; I decided to join in the group therapy sessions. I knew they were a requirement and I just wanted to get them over with.

Though I loathed sharing personal information about myself with strangers; I attended group sessions regularly. I was surprised to find their stories had a profound effect on me; when I heard some of the personal struggles these people had to endure; from living on the streets to being raped and beaten.

They were here; too rise above the circumstances of their lives; to beat their demons and make something better of themselves. I realised then; how easy I had it.

These strangers; had helped me to put my life in perspective; had made me feel less lonely. I wasn't the only one going through hell; there were others who were fighting their battles with dignity; I wanted to be one of those people.

I had a huge amount of respect for every one of these people; their courage became my courage; it burned like a talisman inside me.

I knew then; I would beat this addiction; I would go home to my family and I would be grateful for that. So concentrating on myself; and nothing else; was my plan of action.

I would do whatever Doctor Laurent suggested; if it made me better and I could go home.

I went to bed early after that first group therapy session. I pulled my IPod from my bag; scrolling through my playlist for something to listen too; while I contemplated life. I noticed the title to a song I'd never heard of before; Edward had no doubt added it to my playlist.

I placed the buds in my ears and hit play. The music was light, easy; with the sound of an acoustic guitar in the mix.

(One Day…OPSHOP)

_Absence makes her heart grow stronger_

_While I'm conquering the final frontier_

_Lately I've found myself wondering out loud_

_Wonder what I was doin here_

_One day you'll understand how much you have me_

_One day you'll realise we have it easy_

_I can't offer you the future I don't know it myself_

_All I can offer you is me_

_I'm all I can offer you right now._

_Patience makes her heart grow stronger_

_Reassure her she's where I want to be_

_Never was the grass ever greener_

_I'm about as ready as I'll ever be_

_And one day you'll realise how much you have me_

_One day you'll realise we have it easy_

_If an expression of love is what you need to believe_

_All I can offer you is me_

_I'm all I can offer you right now_

_I'm all I am_

_All I am_

_One day you'll realise ho much you have me_

_One day you'll realise we had it easy_

_I can't offer you the future I don't know it myself_

_All I can offer you right now is me_

_I'm all I can offer you right now._

_Absence makes her heart grow fonder_

_While I'm conquering the last frontier _

I couldn't stop the tears from falling; as the last bars of the song swirled in my ears. The song was beautiful and I instantly got the message Edward was sending me. He was promising me that he was mine; reassuring me that I; was where he wanted to be.

The song was right; absence was making my heart grow fonder; but it was me doing the conquering, conquering my demons.

I was more in love with Edward; than I ever thought possible. Though I tried to keep the song in my head; I couldn't stop the nagging fear that he wouldn't come back for me; from gnawing at me relentlessly.

It was in one of my group therapy sessions that I met Jessica; she was a bright bubbly girl about my age; who was in here for heroin abuse. She came from a privileged background much like I did; her boyfriend had introduced her to heroin and she had nearly overdosed; so her parents sent her here to try to save her life.

We became inseparable from the day we met; we shared our life stories; and the inner most thoughts we held back in group therapy. By the start of the second week, I was feeling better, my physical withdrawals were becoming easier to deal with; and I was back eating solid food.

I was still waking up several times in the night screaming for Edward.

Jess and I walked around the grounds twice a day; as well as attended Tai chi and beginners yoga classes.

Jess was a really talented musician; she began teaching me how to play guitar. I was surprised how quick I picked it up; I asked her if she could teach me how to play a song written by cold play. It's a song that reminded me of Edward and I wanted to play it for him; if /when he came to visit.

I practised it for hours every day; trying to learn to play it properly and sing in tune.

Doctor Laurent was happy with my progress after two and a half weeks; I was slowly gaining weight and muscle mass; my hair was not as lifeless and was regaining a little of it's shine. I was still waking up several times in the night in a cold sweat after; having my usual abandonment nightmare.

I tried to keep positive; I went to sleep every night listening to my favourite songs trying to convince myself; that Edward would still want me after I got out of this place.

Doctor Laurent was quite concerned about the reoccurring nightmare; and began an intensive therapy plan at our next session.

"So Isabella; you are still having obvious issues about Edward abandoning you; can you tell me why you feel like Edward; has or will abandon you?"

"Um… well... I think it has partly to do with the fact that I don't feel worthy of him; and partly because he left me once before without even saying goodbye; I never saw him for six months. I've really struggled since he left me in this place; I feel like he's abandoned me again. I don't want to live without him in my life." I looked down at my hands twisting in my lap; I could feel the blush rushing over my cheeks.

It was a strange sensation; one I hadn't experienced in a while.

"Well Isabella; I'm strictly not meant to mention this; but I think it will be of help to you. Edward has been ringing here twenty times a day; asking about you and begging me to bend the rules for him; so he can come and see you. I don't think Edward has abandoned you this time Bella; and in a few days time when he is allowed to see you, you will realise this too."

Doctor Laurent's words made my dormant heart flicker with life; was Edward missing me? Was he as desperate to see me as I was to see him? It made the talisman inside me glow white-hot and I felt lighter and happier than I had in over a year.

Jess and I spent the next few days doing arts and crafts, I was experimenting with landscape painting and Jess was attempting pottery. Neither of us could contain our laughter at each other's dismal first attempts at creativity. The laughter felt good, natural; I felt I was regaining a tiny sense of myself.

It was only two more days until I could see Edward again. While the majority of me was almost giddy at the prospect; there was still that small but strong part of me that couldn't help but feel Edward was only desperate to see me; so he tell me it was over.

The thought turned my heart and lungs to stone; I began to feel the panic attack washing over me.

In the midst of hyper ventilating; I could hear Jess trying to calm me; I put my head between knees and tried to regulate my breathing as she rubbed my back.

"Bella; you have to break out of this thought pattern if you ever want to move forward; positive thoughts only; ok" She hugged me tightly; as my breathing returned to normal.

"Thanks Jess; you're so right I need to start believing in myself; and in Edward. I just can't help thinking he's going to realise he's better off without me."

"Bella; even if he does decide he doesn't want to be part of your life anymore; you have to accept it and move on. You have other important people in you life besides Edward; people who have known you your whole life. You need to consider those people and not just Edward. It's dangerous for you Bella; to be dependant on Edward for your happiness; because that's not love, its dependency."

I thought about what Jess was saying; and I knew she was right; I had to accept that Edward might not want me and I shouldn't depend on him for my happiness. That I had to consider my family, "Thanks for the pep talk Jess; you're right; I just need to rise up and face my demons."

"Now I think you should paint Edward a master piece; if he still wants you, you can give it to him as a present; if he doesn't want you, you can use it to whack him over the head." She giggled and I joined her.

"Oh god; you are joking right? I'm no Monet; though whacking him with it, sounds appealing if he breaks up with me."

I went to bed Thursday night; in a state of mental confusion; tomorrow I would know whether Edward still wanted me or if he'd realised; how much better off he'd been without me for the last three weeks.


	28. Chapter 28 Reunion

**A/N: Thank you to those of you who reviewed I appreciate it. please keep reviewing as you know it keeps me motivated. **

**DISCLAIMER: S MEYER OWNS TWILIGHT, COLDPLAY OWNS GREEN EYES AND I OWN TRIPLETS...(AND WISHING I OWNED ROBWARD AS WELL.)**

**CHAPTER 28: REUNION…**

I awoke Friday morning and was surprised that I feeling more refreshed than I had in a long time; I'd only woken up screaming twice last night; which was a huge improvement to the ten to fifteen times a night I usually woke. I didn't cry myself back to sleep either; which was not only progress, but it was allowed me to get more sleep.

My stomach cramps had subsided into sporadic twinges which still hurt, but were nothing like what I had experienced.

I got up and headed for the shower; washing myself vigorously with my cinnamon wash. I also did something I hadn't done for nearly three weeks; I looked at myself in the mirror, and I was surprised at what I saw staring back at me.

My eyes were bright and clear; my skin had some natural colour back in it and the black circles had faded to a light grey. My face was less gaunt and while I was still incredibly thin; I was starting to get some slight definition to my muscles.

I smiled at my reflection and chanted my new mantra to myself, "I love myself; I am a good person and I'm worthy of love." I repeated it five times before I kissed my reflection; dancing off to find something suitably sexy to wear to a reunion with my sweet heart.

I decided to wear a deep blue halter neck dress and silver ballet flats; Jess styled my hair in a mass of soft fiery curls and added lashings of mascara to my eyelashes and a smear of my cinnamon lip-gloss.

A nurse came in to my room to tell me Edward called; and he'd be here between nine and nine thirty. My heart stuttered; before taking off at double time; in little over an hour an half I would know for sure if Edward still wanted me.

I ate a light breakfast with Jess; before heading for a solitary walk around the grounds; I needed to calm and prepare myself for what I would do if Edward decided to end it.

I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking, I was surprised to find myself in the Zen garden; it was my second favourite of all of the gardens that graced the estate.

I decided to sit and clear my mind for a while; I got lost in the sounds of nature around me, the birds singing their songs, the gentle breeze rustling the leaves.

I startled myself when all of a sudden, my heart began to beat double time; every cell in my body was beginning to tingle with a familiar surge of electricity. My eyes flew open and I twisted around to see who was behind me in the garden, even though I already knew.

There standing four feet away from me, dressed in black jeans dark purple button down shirt and perfect sex hair was Edward, a breathtaking smile playing on his lips. My heart skipped a beat, I was stunned by his beauty; he was truly beautiful.

"Hi love." Edward crossed the space between us in three short strides; holding his hand out for mine; as soon as our fingers touched the electricity intensified and was now positively coursing through my body.

"Edward you're early." I stuttered when I finally found my voice; he pulled me up; holding me by my shoulders; taking in every inch of me; before his eyes rested on mine.

"My beautiful baby; you look so good, so healthy. I've missed you so much Bella. How do you feel?" I ignored his question; throwing myself against him; I crushed my lips to his.

As soon as our lips touched; my body was on fire; I swear my blood was nearly boiling under my skin. My hands entangled in his hair gripping tightly; his moan of pleasure sent a shock to my dormant heart; which began to beat so hard; it felt like it was crashing against my ribs.

I don't know how long we stood there kissing; it could of minutes, hours; or several sunlit days. All I knew was; I was back in Edward's arms; where I wanted to be. Breaking from the kiss; we stared greedily into each other's eyes; I saw nothing but love and profound joy there. An image I knew would be reflected in mine.

He was looking at me like he still wanted me; like he still loved me as much as I loved him.

"Edward I can't believe you're finally here!" I tried not to blink in case he disappeared the second my eyes closed.

I couldn't stop the tears from sliding down my cheeks; he pulled me closer, our bodies moulding together effortlessly; his angel face resting in my hair.

He inhaled deeply, "god I've missed the smell of you Bella; cinnamon mixed with you; it's the most intoxicating aroma in the world. I've been dreaming of this day; since the day I left."

I hadn't thought about sex once in the three weeks I'd been here; but now I was in Edward's arms; it was all I could think about.

"God Edward; I need to feel you inside me." He groaned; I pressed myself harder into him, my hands slipping to cup the cheeks of his ass.

"Bella; it's all I can think about; I need you so badly baby." I grabbed his hand; leading him through the Zen garden and down a private pathway; toward my favourite place on the whole Estate.

My excitement increased as I pulled Edward off the track and through a patch of thick foliage; coming out in a small but beautifully proportioned clearing; which was full of long summer grass, the smell of honey suckle floated on the breeze.

I led Edward deeper into the clearing; tugging at his shirt; pulling it over his head and throwing it into the grass. I could feel the wetness pooling between my legs; dampening my inner thighs. God just the sight of Edward shirtless; was enough to send me to the edge.

He untied my halter neck; exhaling deeply, as the silky fabric slid over my naked body; pooling at our feet. His hands reached to massage my naked breasts; moaning in unison, I moved to undo his fly. I smiled widely when noticed he had gone commando.

He stood before me in all his beauty. My memory had not done justice to how perfect his body was.

I sank to my knees; taking his thick cock in my fingers; licking along his entire length before taking him between my lips; swirling my tongue over his slit. I groaned when I tasted his salty precum; bringing him deeper into my mouth. Edward's hands fisted my hair as he pushed himself further into mouth.

"God Bella; it feels so good, I've missed you baby; I can't sleep when your not beside me. I dream about you every night."

He thrust his hips forward; pushing all of him into my mouth; I massaged his balls; as I sucked him harder.

I felt Edward harden in my mouth; and knew his orgasm was imminent; all I wanted was him to say the things he was thinking; when he let himself go, I didn't have to wait long; two thrusts later he was beginning to let go.

"Fuck…Bella…my love; so beautiful…love the way…your mouth fits around my cock…my second…favourite…shit oh fuck… Bella...love you …mine...only mine…forever…mine…" I swallowed his hot creamy seed as it shot down my throat with a grateful moan.

My heart swelled, he still loved me, still wanted me.

He never gave me a chance to lick him clean; he was tackling me to the ground; I giggled as we hit the springy grass, "I need to taste you now Bella." He commanded; kissing me as he pushed my knees apart. He pulled his lips from mine; dipping his head between my legs.

His tongue slid along my slit circling my clit once before sliding into my dripping heat, his moan vibrated against me sending a shiver of pleasure through my core.

"Oh god Edward; I've missed you so much." I whimpered; as his tongue found my clit; circling the swollen little bud slowly. I bucked my hips forward; forcing myself harder against him.

Edward sucked licked and nibbled my clit; his fingers slipping into my aching core; pumping them gently. My fingers weaved into his hair; tugging lightly; I pulled him harder against me.

I could feel my orgasm building; with every delicious circle Edward drew on my clit. He sensed I was desperate for my release; so he increased the tempo and pressure of his tongue.

"Oh fuck Edward…Ed...Ward...Fuck shit ohmyfuckengod… I love you…Ed...Edward..." I sighed deeply; the air hissing out between my teeth as I let my first orgasm in three weeks wash over me with cataclysmic force. I thrashed around in the grass; stars burst before my eyes.

Edward lapped at my juices; before pulling himself up to kiss me; placing his hard cock at my quivering entrance, "I've got to be inside you baby; I need to feel you around me."

He entered me slowly; sighing deeply; each of us savouring the sensation we'd been denied these past weeks. My legs encircled his waist; letting me pull him in deeper.

"Bella; it feels like heaven; like home." His voice trickled over me; like melting chocolate; as he began to rock gently against me.

His lips moved to my neck; his tongue running over his mark, "mine Bella; only mine…" He whispered against my scar; causing me to shiver violently; and him to intensify his thrusting; quickly building himself into a frenzied pace.

I clung to him; as he buried his face into my neck; his breath becoming ragged.

I was on the brink of another orgasm; but I was holding off until I heard the words that told me he had fallen over the edge. I didn't have to wait that long as his lips moved to my ear.

"Bella...god love...always...wet...for me…only for me…my goddess...so warm...fuck Bells…love you...forever... I promise…forever." He growled as he let himself be carried away with the violent shudders racking his body.

"Edward…I love you...baby." I cried out; letting my own orgasm burst forth. I rocked against him; my eyes rolling back in my head. I never wanted this moment to end.

Edward lay on top of me; whispering words of love against my neck; then bringing his lips to mine he kissed me; I could feel the depth of love in his kiss; it made my heart glow.

I could have lain there all day kissing his soft lips; but I knew that wasn't a possibility. As it was; we could be caught by any one of the Doctors, nurses or residents that enjoyed the grounds on a daily basis.

"Edward we should get dressed before we get caught. We are breaking a very important resident rule; no fornicating is allowed on rehab grounds," I giggled as I quoted the nurse who had told me the resident/visitor rules.

We talked incessantly on our walk back to the centre; stopping at the cafeteria for sandwiches and coffee to take back to my room. When I entered my room Edwards travel bag was sitting on the floor; I looked over at him questioningly.

"I came to your room when I first arrived here; I was sitting here waiting for you; when your friend Jessica told me where to find you." We sat down on the bed drinking our coffees.

"You met Jess? She's my only friend in here; she's such a cool chick. I really like her." I gushed; taking a bite of my sandwich.

I looked up to see Edward watching me; a gorgeous smile playing on his lips, "What?"

"Nothing love; it's just nice to see you looking so healthy and you sound so much happier than you have in a long time. I'm amazed the difference three weeks has made."

"Well; I'm definitely both healthier and happier than I was three weeks ago. So what do you want to do today? I don't think I'm allowed out; but we might be able to find _something_ to do around here."

"Actually Bella; I have a solo therapy session with Piers; before we have our therapy session together this afternoon."

"Oh; do you have to go? Can't you just stay here with me? We could barricade the door and spend the day fucking; that's what I want to do."

If truth be told; I just didn't want to let Edward out of my sight, and I also didn't want him to talk about me to Dr Laurent; without me being there.

"Sorry love; I have to go and see the Doc. I would love nothing better than to barricade myself in here with you, but I think you will get out of here faster if we follow the programme." I nodded my head in defeat.

"I'll walk you down to his office." I sighed; as we got up off the bed and headed out of the room.

I knocked on Dr Laurent's door; turning to give Edward a chaste kiss; while I waited for an answer to my knock.

"Come in." I turned the handle and the door swung open.

"Hi: Dr Laurent." I pulled Edward into the room; he smiled when I tugged on his arm.

"Good afternoon Bella; may I say you're looking positively radiant today. I'm guessing it's got something to do with the man standing next to you; how are you Edward?" He smiled at Edward, I looked at my feet; embarrassed.

"Good thank you Piers," Edward turned to me with a smile, "I'll see you soon Bella." I smiled and headed for the door; closing it on my way out.

When I got back to my room, Jessica was sitting on my bed.

"Hi Jess what's up?" I smiled; joining her on the bed.

"Hi Bella; where's Edward?"

"He's with the Doc; so you got to meet Edward this morning?"

"Yes; and oh my god Bella; he is gorgeous and such a nice guy." She gushed; and I smiled.

"Yeah he is," I agreed, "So Jess; who are you doing therapy with?"

"My parents; my boyfriend Tyler doesn't want to know about it. He's probably scared; because he might have to confront his own demons." She sounded bitter; I felt sorry for her.

"Jess; how will you be able to stay with him when you get out? I mean won't it be to tempting for you; if Tyler is still using drugs?" I personally couldn't see how their relationship could survive.

"I guess I'll just have to be strong; and not give in to temptation." She didn't sound convinced; and neither did I.

"Jess; you really need to think about this seriously. You wouldn't want to put in all this hard work giving up drugs only to fall into the same pattern again." I didn't know if I was in any position to give advice; I couldn't guarantee I wouldn't go back to using; but Jess really needed to think this through.

"You're right Bella; thanks for the good advice; I'll see you later on, I've got group therapy now." She hugged me; before slipping off the bed.

Edward arrived back in my room ten minutes after Jess left. I watched him apprehensively; not sure how he would be after his session with the Doc. His face broke it to a heartbreaking smile when he saw me on the bed.

"Hi love."

"Hi babe how did it go with the Doc?" He came to lie next to me on the bed; pulling me into his embrace and kissing me softly.

"It went well with Piers; he's a very nice man; he asked me to tell you he wants to see you at three o'clock. He wants a quick session with you before we have our couple's therapy at four. So; what should we do for an hour while we wait?"

"Well I know what I want to do to while we wait; but before I get reacquainted with your gorgeous body; I've got a surprise for you." His eyes widened in surprise; a huge smile spreading across his angel face when I pulled the guitar from under the bed.

I sat facing him; propping the guitar on my crossed legs; I took a deep breath; closed my eyes and strummed the first few cords of the song.

_Honey you are a rock  
__upon which I stand  
__And I came here to talk  
__I hope you understand_

_Green Eyes, yeah the spot light shines upon you  
__And how could anybody deny you_

_I came here with a load  
__And it feels so much lighter now I met you  
__And honey you should know  
__That I could never go on without you  
__Green eyes_

_Honey you are the sea upon which I float  
__And I came here to talk  
__I think you should know_

_Green eyes, you're the one that I wanted to find  
__And anyone who tried to deny you, must be out of their mind_

_I came here with a load  
__And it feels so much lighter since I met you  
__Honey you should know  
__I could never go on without you_

_Green eyes, green eyes_

_Honey you are the rock  
__Upon which I stand_

I opened my eyes; staring into the bottomless depths; of the only pair of eyes to ever touch my soul.

Tears spilled down Edwards's cheeks, "Thank you Bella." His velvety voice sent a powerful wave of desire through me; I threw the guitar to the floor; crushing my body to his kissing him hungrily.

I desperately pulled at his clothes, eager to have his smooth naked flesh against mine; no matter what Jess said; I knew I couldn't live without Edward; he was the love and light of my life. The person I would give up everything for; even my life.

**HOPE YOU ENJOYED EDWARDS RETURN... REVIEW ME AND I'LL GIVE YOU THE NEXT CHAPTER SOONER....**


	29. Chapter 29shock treatment

**A/N: Thank you so much to those who reviewed, it's nice to have such fantastic feedback, keep it coming and I'll give you two chapters in one next update. A special thank you to Greenaway(a fellow kiwi) for the great review it's nice to know someone knows where I'm coming from. And it's nice to see you team Edward lover I've missed your :) ALso I'd like to thank everybody reading this story for hanging in there through the dark times, I appreciate your readership and patience.**

** This the last of the morbid chapters. There's only one rehab chapter left after this one, but it's a fun one. Bella and Edward need to sort out a couple more issues before she's released. Bella and Edward still have a little way to go before they consider marriage, but they do have some nice surprises to look forward to.**

**DISCLAIMER: S MEYER OWNS TWILIGHT... I own Triplets...**

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**CHAPTER 29: Shock Treatment…**

I smoothed my hair down; as I stood outside Dr Laurent's office. I'd arrived at exactly three o'clock. It was hard to drag myself away from Edward, who I'd left lying naked in my bed, but he finally kicked me out; telling me it would be bad manners to be late.

I knocked softly on the cherry wood door and was asked to come in.

"Hi Bella; I'm glad you could make it, I know you would rather be spending time with Edward; but I thought it important that we speak." He motioned me to sit in the chair in front of me.

"Yeah well Therapy is the road to recovery; and I'm all for recovery." I looked down at my hands twisting in my lap.

"I must say Bella; I'm happy with you have progressed so far, you haven't missed one of your scheduled sessions; that's excellent." I smiled shyly.

"Thanks Doc."

"So Bella; while I'm happy with your overall progress I would like to ask you if you'd consider discussing your reoccurring nightmare with Edward today in couple's therapy."

"Oh…um." I wasn't sure I wanted to discuss my nightmare with Edward; but I didn't want to keep things from him either.

"Bella, I think it would be good to discuss your fears with Edward; it will make it easier for him as well as yourself."

"Ok Doc; if you think it will help." He smiled at me radiantly.

"Good Bella; that is an excellent decision," he said reassuringly, "also Bella; there is something I want to show you today, it's going to be very shocking; but you need to see how far you've come in healing yourself. I would also like to show this to Edward today, with your consent, but you need to see it on your own first."

I was completely confused as to what Doctor Laurent was talking about; I was about to ask when he pointed to a television screen in the corner, "Watch this please Bella.

I stared at the screen and thought Dr Laurent was showing me a scene from some sort of horror movie; until I recognised my own face, but it didn't really look like me. My eyes were wide and wild looking almost sunken into their sockets; my face was pale and gaunt. My hair lay limp and listless at my sides and my skin was almost a grey colour.

I was screaming at the top of my lungs; clinging onto Edward, the look of pain on his face was excruciating. The image cut through me like a knife piercing my heart, making me dry retch. It cut to the next scene; it was me lying in bed; thrashing around shaking violently and vomiting all over myself.

If my neck could have rotated three hundred and sixty degrees; I would have resembled the possessed girl from the exorcist movie.

The next scene was no better; I was asleep, screaming and thrashing around calling Edwards name repeatedly. I'd wake up; realise Edward wasn't there and cry myself to sleep, only to wake up screaming Edwards name again. The process went on and on, I must have woken at least a dozen times.

The next scene was when I'd vomited on myself and was abusing the nurse; I felt a wave of shame wash over me.

The next scene surprised me; I was smiling and laughing with Jessica; as she sculpted and I painted. The change in me was unbelievable; I actually looked alive. I had a little colour in my cheeks and I looked one hundred percent better than the zombie I looked like in the previous scenes.

Doctor Laurent turned off the television; I just sat there like a stunned mullet.

"I'm sorry Bella; I know that must have shocked you. I showed you that video to reinforce how hard you've worked in the last three weeks to get too where you are now. I'm hoping by showing you this video; it will prevent you from having a relapse. By showing you how sick you were; I trust you will remember these images; if you ever feel the urge to turn to drugs again; you won't. Bella you will feel many urges that is what it is to be an addict; but by resisting those urges you become a recovering addict and it does get easier over time."

I just nodded, so as long as I resist I am a recovering addict; it sounds so much better than crack whore. I couldn't see myself going back down this path again; but I guess you can never, say never.

"So Bella; while that video is shocking; I would advise you to let Edward view it, it will help him understand what you've been through; so he can encourage you not to go back."

I let out a deep sigh; I knew he was right, but I didn't want Edward to see me like that, I'd put him through enough already.

I knew him; probably better than I knew myself; and I knew those horrific images would haunt him for the rest of his life, "Dr Laurent I don't know if I want Edward to see that, he has a tendency to try to take the blame for my lapses in judgement; and I'm worried about how he's going to react. He might think it's better for me if he's not in my life anymore; and I don't think I could cope with that."

I stared down at my lap; I could feel the blush covering my cheeks.

"Well Bella; we will be able to discuss the issues that arise from the video. You will be able to tell Edward how you feel about him; his reaction and your fears. I will be here to help, there's no need to be afraid, Bella."

I nodded in assent; I was so nervous; I seemed to have lost the ability to speak; I was brought out of my stupor by a knock at the door.

"Are you ready for this Bella?" Dr Laurent looked at me in mild concern; he could clearly hear the gulps of air I was now trying to force into my lungs, "Bella; please relax, you'll be fine."

"Come in Edward," Dr Laurent called from his seat.

Edward walked through the door; looking like a Greek god with perfect sex hair. I smiled at him as he took the seat next to me and reached for my hand. We grinned at each other knowingly; when we felt the electric current flowing through our entwined fingers.

"Thank you for joining us Edward, Bella appreciates your support while she completes this programme. So Edward; as you can clearly see Bella has come along way in three weeks. Her progress has been tremendous, in order for you to see how far she has come; she'd like to share with you a video of her time here. I will warn you it is shocking; and it starts when you brought her in here."

Edward turned to the television screen; I squeezed his hand as the first image flicked onto the screen. I felt his body stiffen next to me and a low oath escaped from his lips, my heart began to beat double time, adrenalin pumped through my veins and I almost felt that same rush I got from drugs.

I couldn't deal with that thought right now; I closed my eyes; as my screams echoed around the room. I didn't want to look at Edwards face, I could feel him shaking; and I felt a wave of nausea swept over me.

My eyes flew open when his strangled sob reached my ears, echoing inside me; piercing my heart like a dagger.

"Edward," I sobbed, "its ok baby; I'm ok, it's over now; please I'm alright; honestly I am. I promise I'll never use drugs again." I tried to soothe him as his sobs racked his body.

"Bella; I'm so sorry so sorry; I did this to you," his voice was cracked and broken. I was barely holding it together myself; but I knew I had to try to get through to him; before it was too late.

"Edward; listen to me please," he didn't raise his gaze from the floor, "Edward; you didn't do this to me; I did it to myself. You can't take responsibility for my actions; that's for me to do. And I do take full responsibility. I chose to sneak behind your back and take drugs without your knowledge; you can't take responsibility for something you knew nothing about. Edward; please listen to me, it's my fault, please Edward; please don't leave me again. I don't think I'd survive if you leave me again." My voice choked on the last three words.

His head snapped up, he looked me straight in the eye, "Bella; I promise you; I swear to you; I will never leave you again; no matter what, you have me forever love." I gave him a small smile; as I wiped the tears away with my sleeve. Edward did the same.

"Good work Bella: that was excellent," Piers smiled brightly, flashing his gleaming teeth, I'm very pleased the way you explained yourself to Edward; and that you took responsibility for your actions. Now Edward; while I realise you feel a certain amount of responsibility for Bella's actions, it is not in yours or Bella's best interests to carry around guilt or blame. Do not let the past destroy your future, honesty, communication, love and support is what you two must give each other if you want your relationship to grow. I have given you guidelines and strategies to follow Edward; to help you cope and to help you support Bella when she leaves here. If you need any additional advice; please feel free to call me."

"Thank you Piers." Edward said sincerely.

"Now Edward; there is another matter that Bella needs to discuss with you; about a reoccurring nightmare she has been suffering. Bella if you'd like to begin."

I squeezed Edward's hand, "Edward; I have been suffering a reoccurring nightmare, it relates to a deep rooted subconscious thought I have, that you are going to leave me. As you saw on the video; the dream wakes me several times a night. I think I keep having the dream because deep down I know I'm not good enough for you; and I'm scared that one day you'll wake up and realise your better off without me; and I'm scared what will happen to me when you do."

I let my voice trail off; as the blush rushed over my cheeks; I raised our entwined hands to my face kissing his softly; as I waited for him to speak.

"Bella love; I wish you could see yourself the way I do, you're so warm, intelligent, fun, loving, beautiful, forgiving, kind and caring. I love you Bella; and I want you forever." He leaned over and kissed my cheek.

I couldn't stop the tears from falling from my eyes, I felt incredibly free; Edward had seen me at my worst; the broken shell that I was; and he still wanted me. I almost felt whole again.

"Well done Bella, you let go of your fear and told Edward what frightens you the most. With Edward's reassurances, you should start to sleep better; and the nightmares should cease. If you can go a week without having them; I will consider releasing you and have you assigned to an out patients programme in New York. You will have to attend regular narcotics anonymous meetings as part of your outpatient treatment programme. Now since you've made such good progress today; why don't you go and enjoy the rest of your time together."

"Thank you Doctor Laurent," I almost sung as I jumped to my feet; pulling Edward up with me.

"Yes thank you Piers; for all your help, I appreciate how quickly you have helped Bella bounce back." The two men shook hands; before I pulled Edward from the room.

We ate dinner in my room, I was trying not to think about the fact that Edward would have to leave soon, and he'll probably have to fly back to New York tonight. The thought instantly depressed me, now that I'd seen and felt Edward again; I didn't want to let him go; not even for a week, not for a second.

As if Edward could read my mind or maybe just my demeanour, he took my hands in his, "Bella I'm not leaving Hawaii without you love; I'm staying here until you're released. Whether that is in one week or one month; I'm not leaving here without you baby."

I leapt on top of him; bringing my lips to his; he responded instantly and we tore at each other's clothes; making love as quietly as possible.

Keeping quiet during sex was not one of my attributes and I had to bury my face in Edwards's neck to muffle my cries when he brought me to my climax.

We had a quick shower together, Edward revelling in washing me with my cinnamon shower wash. I giggled when he lathered himself up.

"At least I'll be able to smell you when you're not next to me in bed tonight." My breathing hitched; tears sprang to my eyes, "Its ok love; we only have a week to wait; you just need to complete the programme."

Edward lay with me until I drifted off to sleep; it was easy to pretend it was just him and I home in my apartment curled up in our bed.

**DON"T FORGET REVIEWS=UPDATES...**


	30. Chapter 30 SURPRISES & PROPOSITIONS

**A/N: Thank you so much to all of you who reviewed, I really do appreciate it more than you know. As I promised there are two chapters in one, I hope you enjoy. I thought Bella could use some fun. she's been such a good girl these last few weeks:)**

**DISCLAIMER: S MEYER OWNS TWILIGHT, NORAH JONES OWNS COME AWAY WITH ME AND I OWN TRIPLETS...**

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**CHAPTER 30: SURPRISES…**

I was halfway through my morning Tai Chi class, when Edward arrived. He sat on one of the benches shaded by a towering palm tree and watched me finish my exercise, smiling widely Every time I looked over at him.

He rushed over to kiss me softly as soon as my class ended, he looked very excited about something; it was clear on his face.

"What are you looking so happy about?" I asked when my curiosity finally got the better of me.

"I'm just happy to see you love." He grinned as he hugged me close.

"Yeah I know what you mean, I'm so happy to see you that I didn't even have the nightmare last night."

"Bella that's wonderful news love," he kissed my forehead before looking into my eyes. He looked proud; proud of me, it made my heart swell.

"So what shall we do?" I knew what I wanted to do and I was sure he'd want to do the same thing.

"Let's go back to your room." I smirked at him, causing him to chuckle.

"I was just thinking the same thing." I grabbed his hand and led him the quickest way back to my room.

I could hear chatter coming from behind the closed door of my room, I frowned wondering if some of my fellow residents were waiting in there for me. I cautiously opened the door and my jaw dropped, there scattered around my room were James, Victoria, Alice, Rose, Emmett and Jasper.

I stood there stunned for a minute, I tried to speak but no sound came out. I just looked at Edward; who was laughing at the look on my face, "Surprise!" He mumbled through his laughter.

I was about to say hello; when Alice rushed forward and pulled me into her arms, "Bella, I've missed you, you look fantastic, just like your old self." I smiled at her, I didn't really feel like my old self; but I did feel better than I did three weeks ago.

I hugged her back, "I've missed you too Pixie." She let me go so I could hug everybody else, each of them telling me how good I looked; and how good it was to see me.

I felt privileged to be loved by these amazing people, each of them held a place in my heart. I turned to Edward who hadn't left my side, "Thank you Edward, I can't think of a more wonderful surprise."

"You're welcome love." He kissed my ear, his warm breath tickling me.

"So what are we going to do? I'm really sorry but there's not overly a lot to do here, we could go for a walk in the grounds I suppose." I said a little glumly, I could feel my happiness at seeing my family start to evaporate.

Edward sensed the downward spiral of my mood and threw me a lifeline, "Actually Bella; Piers has given you permission to go on day leave today; so we're taking you out."

"I'm allowed out; for the day?" I stammered; hardly believing my ears.

"Yes Bella; Piers wanted to reward you for the excellent progress you've made." Edward kissed my cheek softly.

"So where are we going?" I could barely contain my excitement.

"It's a surprise Bells; but I'm sure you're going to love it." Alice said with a giggle.

"Well let's go then," I wasn't about to stand around wasting precious free time with my family cooped up here.

Soon we were speeding down the coastal highway, Alice was talking rapidly and I sat back in Edwards arms with a smile, as I listened to her.

"Oh yeah Bells; Jacobs been calling about twenty times a day for the last three weeks, your answer phone is full of his messages." Alice didn't miss a beat as she moved onto the next topic of conversation.

I felt Edward's body stiffen next to me at the sound of Jakes name, I'd never told him about my friendship with the guy he beat up in Switzerland. I squeezed his hand and he smiled at me, I could tell by his expression he was wondering who Jake was.

We pulled up to a parking lot right on the edge of the beach, every one piled out of the car and Jasper and Emmett headed straight to the surfboard hire place to get boards for us all. Alice handed me a midnight blue bikini and we changed covertly in the back of the car.

I could hardly believe the tiny bikini Alice had chosen for me, I felt like flaying her alive for doing this to me.

I kept my towel firmly tucked under my armpits as we headed for the pristine white sand. We spent hours in the water learning to ride the waves, Alice, Victoria and I spent more time under the water than actually on our boards. After two hours of solid trying, I finally managed to ride a wave all the way to shore, earning me a loud cheer from Emmett and a loud whistle from Jasper.

Edward scooped me into his arms, "well done Bella; your persistence paid off." He let my board wash up on the shore as he pulled me into the deeper water.

I could feel his erection through the thin fabric of his shorts as he crushed his body to mine. He kissed me hungrily, I moaned as his hand slid down my side disappearing under the water; coming to rest at the edge of my bikini bottoms.

I checked we were deep enough in the water before I slid his shorts down his thighs, grabbing his hard cock; stroking it gently.

Edward slipped my bikini pants off; keeping them firmly in his grasp, as he took us out even deeper into the water, I slipped my legs around his waist positioning his cock at my entrance; I kissed him desperately as I slid over him, engulfing his cock into my warmth.

"Mmm Bella, feels so hot baby, I wanna stay inside you all day," Edward whispered as his lips moved to my neck and he rocked my hips against him, burying himself deeper into my core.

The sensation of fucking in the water was awesome, though I was concerned about our family lying on the beach; I prayed they couldn't tell what we were doing.

All too soon the sensations were becoming too much, and I could feel myself hurtling towards the edge, "Edward baby I wanna cum." My lips attacked his neck, leaving red marks there.

"Cum for me my baby; tell me that your mine." Edward looked deep into my eyes as he waited for me to lose myself.

"Only yours… Edward…always yours...Edward...forever..." My muscles clamped around his cock; I rode out the waves of pleasure crashing over me.

Edward only had to hear my words and he was soon growling against my neck, "mine Bella, mine forever... never...let...you… leave me… Bella...mine… forever." I smiled at his words; as I kissed his salty bronzed hair.

He held me steady as I slipped my bikini pants back over my thighs, we kissed again before I climb on his back; letting him take me to shore. It had been a perfect day and I didn't want it to end. We lay in the sand next to Emmett and Rose; letting the warm Hawaiian sun dry us off.

We decided to go for lunch at a little pizza place we had passed on the highway, Edward held me back as every one else got out of the car.

"Bella; Doctor Laurent has scheduled a family session for this evening, he would like you to consider showing the video to your family, and I think Emmett and Jaz would benefit from it too."

"You can't be serious Edward? I can't show James and Victoria that video; it will destroy them. I can't put them through anymore. It's bad enough you had to see it; how can I possibly sit through them watching it?" Feelings of shame and worthlessness welled up in me.

"Bella; remember love, no secrets. Just honesty and communication, you don't need to hide yourself from your family. We all love you unconditionally; besides I want them to see how much of a survivor you are." I felt buoyed by his words; they gave me courage.

"Ok; if you think it will help." I gave him a small smile and he kissed the tip of my nose.

"I do love." He reached for the door handle; climbing out of the car and offering me his hand.

After a long leisurely lunch we headed back to the treatment centre and straight to Dr Laurent's office. I looked over at Edward with a grimace; I knocked softly and he asked us to enter. Doctor Laurent had obviously met everybody already; because he greeted them all by name.

I did not want to sit through watching that horrific video again; and I certainly didn't want to subject Edward to an encore screening. I hid my head in my hands as the first image popped up on the screen; I didn't want to see the look of horror on the faces of my family.

Everybody cried when they saw what I'd gone through, Emmett was he most upset; and I knew why. He felt partially responsible; just like Edward did. I knew I had to talk to Emmett alone, I didn't want James and Victoria to know that I'd used drugs with anyone else; especially not Emmett, Edward, Jaz and least of all my sisters.

I must remember to ask Edward; how much James and Victoria knew about my drug habits.

I momentarily switched off; as Dr Laurent gave my family the same sort of speech he had given to Edward yesterday. My mind was beginning to focus on what life would be like for me outside this place, which had been both my hell and haven.

I knew I wasn't ready to return to work, I wasn't even sure I wanted to return to my apartment. I felt safe here and I had routine. I knew what my day would entail here at the centre; but what would life be like when I was home alone; left to my own devices?

I probably should mention my fears to the Doc and to Edward; you know honesty, communication, and all that, but not today.

My family said goodbye to me after our session with the Doc, promising they'd be waiting for me when I got home. Edward stayed to have dinner with me, I could tell he was preoccupied by his silence; and it was driving me mad.

"Edward what's the matter? I can tell you have something on your mind." I looked at him expectantly; waiting for his answer.

"It's nothing to worry about love." He smiled, but his smile seemed almost forced.

I wasn't going to let it slide; so I pressed him on the issue, "Edward; honesty and communication remember, if you don't tell me; I'll just get all paranoid."

"I was just wondering who Jake was?" he blurted out.

Damn Alice. I didn't really want to get into this with Edward, but hadn't I just given him the whole speech about honesty and communication.

I seriously needed to think about what I was going to say; before I said it.

**~~~XXX~~~**

**PROPOSITION:**

We were lying side by side on my bed, he was waiting silently for my answer, of course he'd want to know who Jacob was; and why he'd been calling me twenty times a day. He probably thinks Jakes my dealer or something; all the more reason for honesty I thought.

"Well Edward; I will tell you who Jake is; if you promise not to fly off the handle, he's not my drug dealer if that's what you're thinking. So; remember when we were in Switzerland and you got into a fight with that guy in the club?"

I felt Edward's posture stiffen at the memory, "yeah; I remember the creep who had his hands all over you." He growled, his eyes darkening slightly.

I cringed slightly; maybe this wasn't such a good idea, "well that was Jake. The day before I was due to fly home, I went sightseeing by myself; and I met Jake at the church I was photographing; and he ended up acting as my tour guide. Nothing happened between us; but we've kept in contact since then."

I looked at Edward; trying to work out what he was thinking; apart from the darkening of his eyes; his face was unreadable.

"So you've just been friends, you never got together in Switzerland?" He looked directly into my eyes; and I knew what he was looking for; but the question made me angry, I took a deep breath before answering.

"No Edward we never got together, you'd only just left. Do you honestly think that I just go around sleeping with random men; I've told you that you were the exception to the rule. I'm not a slut Edward."

"I know; I'm sorry; I didn't mean it to sound like that. As you know; I have a problem with jealousy when it comes to you Bella, you have no idea how utterly tempting you are. I don't want to let you near anyone who might take you away from me. You're mine love, mine forever."

"I am yours; forever," I agreed, "so there's nothing to worry about with Jake; ok," I rolled on top of him; kissing him chastely, "thank you for today, it was a wonderful surprise; it was the perfect tonic for me."

"You're welcome love," he pulled my tank top over my head, kissing a trail along my shoulder before moving to his mark; brushing his lips over it softly.

I pressed myself harder against him; I wished I could melt right into his skin, into his soul, I ground our pelvises together. I could feel his erection straining through his jeans. He groaned when I rolled off him; rushing over to lock my door.

The last thing I needed was to be caught breaking the rules.

I turned around and Edward was completely naked; lying on top of the bed, I stripped off my jeans and panties and leapt up next to him. He scooped me into his embrace, his lips attacking every inch of my skin they could come in contact with.I giggled when his warm breath tickled my skin.

He rolled on top of me; gently pressing his warm body into mine, I spread my legs; allowing him to slip into me. he rocked against me gently, setting a torturously slow pace which soon had me begging for more.

"Edward," I moaned into his ear, "harder, faster baby, please don't tease me." I whimpered; tightening my legs around his waist; forcing him deeper inside me.

He increased his pace; thrusting harder; burying himself further into my heat with every stroke, "Bella I can't wait until I can fuck you all night long, I can't wait until you can scream my name as you cum for me." He whispered against my neck.

His words were all I needed to bring me over the edge, "Edward…Baby…I love you." I breathed against his shoulder; I was trying to keep it as quiet as possible; as I held him close to me.

With a final thrust, Edward was shooting his hot seed into me; while rambling his inner most thoughts. I watched his features as he let his climax carry him away; his eyes were closed; a look of pure ecstasy gracing his beautiful face.

He opened his eyes; the look of love on his face was mirrored in his eyes, he looked beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes.

"Edward; I want you to stay with me tonight, I want to wake up in your arms." He looked at me with a mixture of longing and sadness.

"Bella love; as much as I want to; you know I can't do that, your getting out of here on Friday let's not do anything that might jeopardise that. We have the rest of our lives to be together." A feeling of warmth shot through me at his words of love and commitment.

"I love you Edward; with every inch of my being."

"You are my life Bella." He stated simply. I decided to tell him of the fears that had been plaguing me since we left family therapy.

"Edward; I'm a little bit concerned about returning to work, I don't know if I can cope with the responsibility right now and I'm also scare to be home alone; you know in case I have a relapse," I said the last bit in an ashamed whisper.

He looked at me steadily, "Bella; I have a proposition I would like you to consider."

I looked at him curiously, "what is it Edward?"

"How would you like to take a year's leave from your job and just be an artist? Mike and I would like you to be the resident artist at the gallery. We will fully fund all of your travel, pay all your expenses, buy you all new equipment and anything else you need."

I was speechless, even though photography was more a passion than a hobby I doubted I was good enough that people would actually want to buy my art. Alice, Rose and I didn't actually need to work; we inherited money when our parents died. We worked to feel productive and to keep ourselves grounded.

"So; what do you think?" Edward watched me intently; waiting for me to speak.

"Um... I don't know Edward, I doubt I'm good enough to be worthy of being your resident artist, that's a big risk to take."

"Bella; your first exhibit sold out on the opening night and so did 'New York in Love', Mike and I have well placed faith in you. Besides I thought I could take a year off as well and we could travel the world together, I thought you might want to take 'New York in Love' global and go with the concept of, 'The World in Love."

I was instantly sold on the idea; as soon as Edward said he'd like to travel with me. The thought of us alone together for a year doing the thing I loved the most with the person I loved the most; was a dream come true.

Edward smiled at me, "you don't have to answer straight away Bella, just think about it ok."

"Edward I have thought about it, and it sounds like heaven, when can we leave?" He laughed; kissing my nose.

"We'll start making plans as soon as you're released and Bella; you won't be alone love, I'll stay with you when you get home. So there's nothing to worry about love."

I kissed him passionately, "thank you Edward," I whispered against his lips, "I'm so lucky to have you."

"No Bella; I'm the lucky one." He kissed my forehead and reached over to grab my IPod, setting it to a song I hadn't heard for such a long time, "I have to go now love; I'll see you tomorrow though."

He kissed me lovingly, as the first few lyrics to the song sounded in my ears; I closed my eyes, so I didn't have to watch him leave.

_Come away with me in the night  
__Come away with me  
__And I'll write you a song_

_Come away with me on a bus  
__Come away where they can't tempt us  
__With their lies_

_I want to walk with you  
__On a cloudy day  
__In fields where the yellow grass grows knee high  
__So won't you try to come_

_Come away with me and we'll kiss  
__On a mountain top  
__Come away with me  
__And I'll never stop loving you_

_And I want to wake up with the rain  
__Falling on a tin roof  
__While I'm safe there in your arms  
__So all I ask is for you  
__To come away with me in the night  
__Come away with me_

I opened my eyes and wiped away my tears, then listened to the song again. For the first time in a long time; I felt positive about the future and for the first time in longer than I can remember; I went to sleep without the constant fear and anxiety that had been plaguing me since I had gotten myself into this mess.

Not surprisingly; I slept free of nightmares.

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**I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THAT. PLEASE REVIEW...IT SHOWS MY FAMILY I'M NOT CRAZY FOR DOING THIS:)**


	31. Chapter 31 freedom

**A/N: You can all breathe a sigh of relief, Bella has successfully completed her stint in rehab and freedom calls. Thank you for sticking with Bella while she faced her demons. AND Please remember that Meth and other hard drugs are dangerous and highly addictive. What can start out as innocent fun or experimentation can quickly lead to dependency/addiction. If you know somebody suffering from an addiction please don't judge them but offer support. There are many reasons people take drugs, insecurity is a big reason. By making people feel good about themselves and making them feel worthwhile you can help someone with an addiction tremendously.**

**I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS CHAPTER I THOUGHT BELLA AND EDWARD NEEDED TO MAKE UP FOR LOST TIME:)... Please review this chapter/ story it keeps me motivated and I need motivation because I thought I had completed this story but as I find out more about what you readers enjoy I felt I might have cheated you a bit in later chapters so I'm writing additional scenes for this story. But I have to admit I struggling to motivate myself at the moment. **

**DISCLAIMER: You know the drill S Meyer owns twilight, Snow patrol own Chasing Cars, I own triplets....**

**________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

**CHAPTER 31: FREEDOM...**

The week passed surprisingly quick and nightmare free, the morning I was leaving Jess snuck into my room early. She was quiet when she entered; probably thinking she would fine me asleep, but I'd already been up for an hour and was showered, packed and ready to leave.

"Hi Jess," I smiled as she crossed the room, climbing on the bed next to me.

"Hi Bella, I had a feeling you'd be up early today, I just wanted to come and say goodbye; I didn't want to miss you."

"Jess; I would never of left here without saying goodbye to you, you're what's kept me sane in this place. I really appreciate your friendship and support Jess." I gave her a hug and mussed her hair.

"Thanks Bella, you've kept me sane too, here I've got you a little something to remember our time together." She dug into her bag and pulled out a brightly wrapped present; handing it to me with a smile.

"Thanks Jess, and here I've got something for you," I reached under my pillows and retrieved a parcel wrapped in purple and silver paper.

We unwrapped our gifts at the same time; and erupted into a fit of giggles, she had given me her first attempt at a pottery vase, I looked at the misshaped vase with a smile. I had given her my first attempt at a water colour landscape painting.

"Thanks Jess; I'll treasure it forever," I hugged her again; I really was going to miss her infectious smile.

"Thank you for the painting Bells, I guess great mind think alike." She indicated to our gifts, we'd both chosen the same kind of present for each other.

"Jess; I want you to keep in touch ok and promise me you'll try your hardest to stay clean ok, maybe we could attend meetings together."

"I would really like that Bella, and I took your advice and ended it with Tyler, he wasn't interested in giving up his lifestyle and I'm not interested in that kind of life anymore."

"Good for you Jess, life can only get better when you let go of the people that are holding you back, you need to surround yourself with people that support you and not drag you down. Whatever happens Jess; don't go back to drugs, the right person will come into your life and treat you how you deserve to be treated."

"Thanks Bella, I better get going I've got a few jobs to do before breakfast. She hugged me before jumping off the bed and bounding out of the room.

It was only ten minutes after Jess left that Edward turned up in my room, radiant smile playing on his lips, "are you ready to go love?" He kissed me before picking up my bags.

"Nah; I think I'll stay another month, of course I'm ready," I teased as I followed him through the door.

Dr Laurent was waiting for me in the reception area, he handed me some forms to sign and envelope he said contained details of my treatment plan.

He smiled at me and stretched out his hand, I shook it firmly; his skin was warm and smooth, "Good luck for the future Bella, I've enjoyed getting to know you over the past few weeks."

"Thank you for everything Dr Laurent," I smiled and I released his hand; I turned to Edward.

"Yes thank you for helping Bella; Piers, I really appreciate all that you have done for her." Edward shook Piers hand before leading me out the door to freedom.

I smiled when Edward led me to his rented Audi, a departure from his usual preference for Volvo's; he opened my door for me with a smile.

In no time, at all we were speeding down the high way towards the airport, towards home. My hand drifted to Edward's thigh and I rubbed it gently letting it slide up to rest on his crotch, I smiled when I felt his hard cock straining through the material of his jeans.

I popped the button and unzipped his fly, he lifted his hips carefully allowing me to pull his jeans and boxers down his thighs. I undid my seat belt and leaned across into his lap. I took his hard cock in my hand, stroking it gently, my tongue slid over his slit, tasting the drop of pre cum glistening on the tip.

I drew him into my mouth, revelling in the feeling of his cock sliding along my tongue; I tightened my lips around him.

"Mmm Bella; that feels incredible," Edward moaned as his hand slid into my hair. I let my teeth graze along his length before sucking him harder.

"Oh god Bella, you're so talented with the mouth of yours; you feel so good around my cock baby." His words caused me to moan around his cock as I brought him deeper into my mouth.

Edward thrust his hips driving his cock into my throat; I kept up my pace and could feel him hardening, meaning his orgasm was imminent.

"Oh fuck Bella...God your beautiful…such a hot little mouth…mine baby…mine forever…" He thrust his hips again, forcing his cock to the back mouth as he shot his thick creamy cum down my throat. I licked him clean before helping him pull up his jeans.

I sat back in my seat with a smile and a small-satisfied sigh.

"Thank you love, that was incredible, you're incredible and I can't wait to taste you." His hand reached for my knee, he rested it there briefly before sliding it under the hem of my skirt.

I leaned back against the seat and opened my legs sighing in content as Edward's hand ghosted up my inner thigh to my panty less mound; I smiled as he let out a groan of longing.

He rubbed my clit teasingly; then slipped a finger into my wet core, causing us both to moan. He pumped gently before adding another finger. I closed my eyes and shifted my position allowing Edwards fingers deeper into my centre. I let out a soft sigh as he pumped his fingers harder; coating his fingers in my juice.

"Play with you're clit Bella, I wanna feel you cum around my fingers baby." My hand moved to my mound, my finger found my clit; I shivered in pleasure as I pressed down on the swollen little bud.

I drew small slow circles with my finger, my clit responded with flickers of pleasure. I could feel myself getting wetter around Edwards probing fingers. I fingered my clit faster, building my pace to match Edward's and all too soon I could feel the intense feelings of pleasure building within me.

My rapid breathing turned to panting; as I fingered my clit furiously; Edward sensed my approaching climax and gave me the push I needed to fall over the edge.

"Cum for me love; scream my name; tell me who you belong to."

I opened my eyes to look at him; my muscles contracted around his fingers and called out his name, "Edward… So good baby… I only cum for you Edward...I belong to you…only you...forever"

He looked across at me with a smile, "Mine… forever," he withdrew his fingers, bringing them to his mouth. He sucked them clean as I adjusted my dress.

"Let's pull over and fuck baby, I want to feel you inside me."

Edward let out a growl, "Bella please don't tempt me; though I'd love nothing more than to pull over and ravish you love, but we have a plane to catch. You'll have to wait a little longer." He reached over to stroke my cheek, leaving it tingling from his touch.

"Fine," I sighed; my lips formed into a pout. Edward laughed as he watched my bottom lip jut out.

"God; I love when you get all sulky, you're so damn cute, that pout of yours is my weakness love."

"Really; well that's good to know," I teased, giving him a sly smile.

"Oops; I probably shouldn't have told you that," he chortled as we pulled up to a private airstrip where a private jet sat on the tarmac.

A random thought occurred to me as we made our way toward the aircraft, "Edward if you own this jet, why were you travelling to Switzerland on a commercial airline?"

"I leant it to my parents that day, and I'm so very glad I did or else I may never have met you Miss Swan." I smiled as he led me inside the beautifully furnished jet and ushered me to a seat.

The attendant brought our luggage in and stowed in a room at the back of the plane before heading into the cockpit. Edward strapped me into my seat and buckled himself in, the captain announced that we were ready for departure and I felt the plane begin to move toward the runway.

I was surprised at my lack of anxiety as we ferried down the runway; I was usually nervous as hell when I flew. I kept my eyes on Edward as the plane made its ascent.

As soon as the seatbelt sign was off; Edward was unbuckling us and leading me to the room in the back of the plane. I had been so drugged up when I had last travelled on this plane I hadn't taken in any of the details. This time I took in the room with fresh; unclouded eyes.

It was a massive room; there was a huge bed positioned against the back wall, adorned with a gold silk cover and I could see an en suite through a small doorway to the side of the room.

Edward closed the door behind us; turning to me with a smile he pulled me into his arms and kissed me softly. I traced my tongue along his bottom lip before searching for his tongue. He lifted me into his arms without breaking the kiss and carried me to the bed; sitting me gently on the side. He pulled his lips from mine, moving them to my neck.

His hands slid down my sides, his fingers hooking under the hem of my dress, he lifted it over my head. I smiled as he sighed at the sight of my naked body.

"Bella you are so beautiful, so perfect in every way," he whispered as he fell to his knees in front of me.

Edward crawled forward; his hands coming to rest on my knees, he slowly parted them. I lay back on the bed opening my legs further as he buried his face into my warm centre.

"Mmm Bella; you taste divine," Edward's warm breath tickled my swollen clit; causing a shiver to run through me, my hands entwined in Edwards hair as his tongue and fingers worked me into a frenzy.

"Oh god Edward; your tongue feels so good," I moaned as I lifted me hips pushing myself harder against his face as he licked, sucked and nibbled on my sensitive bud.

I gripped his hair tighter; as I let my orgasm carry me into delirium: "Oh...Edward...Ed…ward...oh…fuck…god Edward," I cried out; not caring if the pilot could hear. I tried to wriggle away from him but his free hand pressed against my stomach, holding me steady. His tongue and fingers never stopped pleasuring me; before my first orgasm was over, I could feel my next one washing over me.

The vibration of Edward's moan rippled through my core; causing violent tremors to race through me, as he lapped up the juices dripping from me.

He lifted his head; a wicked smile playing on his lips, "god Bella; you taste exquisite and I'll never get tired of hearing you call my name as you cum for me."

I couldn't answer him; I was still gasping for air and trying to clear the little coloured spots from my eyes. I watched greedily as Edward stripped naked. I stared at his magnificent cock and a shiver of anticipation ran through me.

I sat up and beckoned him forward; he smirked as he climbed up next to me and pulled me into his arms. I pushed him down; straddling his waist and kissed him hungrily. I could taste myself on his lips.

I whimpered softly when he broke the kiss, he smiled at me angelically as his hands reached out to massage my breasts.

He rolled my nipples between his fingers; tweaking them into hard pebbles, "I want you on all fours, now Bella."

I smiled at the commanding tone of his voice and slid down his stomach, leaving a damp trail of my juice behind. I moved to the side of the bed and got on my hands and knees, Edward moved up behind me, his hands rubbing my ass cheeks as he positioned himself at my entrance.

I couldn't wait for him to enter me; I pushed back against him allowing his cock to fill me fully; before he could thrust into me.

"Mmm...Bella; you feel like heaven," Edward drew out each of his stokes; pulling himself out to the edge before plunging back into me. He alternated his strokes between slow and gentle and hard, and fast, the contrasts in his strokes were making my core ache with pleasure.

"Fuck me harder Edward, fuck me like you've dreamed of fucking me for the last month," I smiled as I heard him growl; he gripped my hips tightly as he pounded his cock into me repeatedly.

My finger moved to my clit and I rubbed it roughly, as Edward thrust into me, "Bella I want you to cum for me baby, I want those beautiful cunt muscles to milk every drop of cum from my cock."

I let my head rest on my forearm and fingered my clit furiously, "oh...fuck…Edward…I'm cuming for you baby..." I could feel Edward's cock harden as my muscles tightened around him, he tightened his grip on my hips.

"Jesus...fuck…Bella…you're so tight baby...Fuck… I love you...my goddess... mine...only mine..." Edward collapsed on top of me; breathing rapidly against my spine as he shot his hot seed into me.

He lifted himself off me, caressing my ass cheeks as he withdrew. I stayed with my head on my forearms and tried to get my breathing under control. I cried out in surprise as I felt a sharp sting on my buttock.

I spun around to face Edward, "Edward Cullen; did you just spank me?" I glowered at him, making him laugh loudly.

"Sorry love; I couldn't resist, you really shouldn't wave that cute little ass in front of me if you don't want me to punish you for being such a tease."

"Hmm…that wasn't a very nice thing to do," I stuck my bottom lip out in a pout; I rubbed my stinging buttock, causing Edward to chuckle.

"Why don't you go and have a shower love; while I go and see if lunch is ready." I didn't move from the bed; I just sat and admired Edward's phenomenal body as he dressed.

When he left the room to inquire about lunch; I made my way to the bathroom, I shook my head as I walked through the door. The bathroom was stunning; with its floor to ceiling cream marble, the silver tap wear sparkled in the light. A huge gilded mirror hung over the ceramic vanity unit.

I turned on the shower, waiting until the room was full of steam before stepping into the hot water. I smiled in surprise when I saw bottles of my favourite cinnamon shower products sitting on the shelf; next to a soft natural sponge.

I stared at the sponge as memories of Edward washing me in Switzerland filled my mind. Smiling; I let the warm water cascade over me; relaxing and refreshing me.

I wrapped myself in a large fluffy towel and padded back to the bedroom; where Edward was waiting at a small table; tucked into a corner of the room.

"Yum," I approached the table and saw a large tray of fresh sushi laid next to a huge bowl of fresh fruit salad. A jug of chilled pineapple juice sat to one side.

I sat down and popped a piece of sushi in my mouth. The wasabi burnt through my sinuses; causing my eyes to water profusely, "god that wasabi's lethal." Edward chucked and passed me a napkin.

After lunch, Edward headed for the shower and I curled up in the huge bed for a nap. I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, the early morning start and enthusiastic lovemaking had taken its toll.

I woke briefly sometime later with a smile; Edward was lying naked and asleep next to me; his erect cock pressing against my spine. I moved up the bed a fraction, positioning him at my entrance. I shifted slightly so he slipped into me, I turned to see if I had woken him; his eyes were still closed, a small smile played upon his lips.

I closed my eyes with a contented sigh and drifted back to sleep with Edward buried deep inside me, every now and then I felt his hips buck, an involuntary movement, keeping him hard inside me.

I was having the most beautiful dream; Edward was making love to me while we floated through the clouds, it was the most intense and realistic dream I had ever had. I could feel Edward deep inside me thrusting gently, rhythmically. I could feel the sensations building in my clit as if Edward's finger really was moving over it with slow circular movements, while his other hand roamed over my breasts.

I was vaguely aware of the moan that escaped my lips as the sensations crested in my core. I was somewhere in the twilight between asleep and awake when my orgasm washed over me and I cried out Edwards name.

The first thing I was consciously aware of; was Edward thrusting into me a little harder than he had in my dream; I opened my eyes; blinking rapidly to clear the sleep from them; a small smile playing on my lips.

I realised at once that it had not been entirely just a dream; I had indeed just had a beautiful orgasm brought about by Edward's magic fingers.

Sensing I was awake; he picked up his pace; thrusting deep within me, I felt him harden inside me and knew his own orgasm was moments away. I kept my eyes closed; waiting for him to fall over the edge.

I said nothing as he let himself go; smiling widely when he called out my name, telling me how beautiful I was and how much he needed me.

I loved it when Edward climaxed, the random things he said at the height of his arousal made me feel a sense of pride; that it was me making him lose control.

He brought his lips to my ear, nuzzling on the light pink shell; he whispered, "Mmm Bella; I want to wake up inside you every day for the rest of my life baby, that's my idea of heaven."

I tried to keep inside me; but he withdrew slowly; leaving me with a sense of loss. I twisted in his embrace so I could look into his soft green eyes; our lips met in a soft, lingering kiss.

I was just thinking how I would be happy to stay up here among the clouds with Edward forever; when the captain's voice issued over the intercom, informing us that we would be arriving in New York in forty minutes.

We shared another long kiss; I pulled away from him reluctantly; and reached over and plugged my IPod into the speakers built into the bedside table. He smiled when he heard the first few lines of the song.

_We'll do it all  
__Everything  
__On our own_

_We don't need  
__Anything  
__Or any one_

_If I lay here  
__If I just lay here  
__Would you lie with me and just forget the world_

_I don't quite know  
__How to say  
__How I feel_

_Those three words  
__Are said too much  
__They're not enough_

_If I lay here  
__If I just lay here  
__Would you lie with me and just forget the world_

_Forget what we're told  
__Before we get too old  
__Show me a garden that's bursting into life_

_Let's waste time  
__Chasing cars  
__Around our heads_

_I need your grace  
__To remind me  
__To find my own_

_If I lay here  
__If I just lay here  
__Would you lie with me and just forget the world_

_Forget what we're told  
__Before we grow too old  
__Show me a garden that's bursting into life_

_All that I am  
__All that I ever was  
__Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see_

_I don't know where  
__Confused about how; as well  
__Just know that these things will never change for us at all_

_If I lay here  
__If I just lay here  
__Would you lie with me and just forget the world._

Edward sighed and pulled away from me, "as much as I would love to just lay with you and forget the world Bella, I think it's time we got organised. I'm just going to grab a quick shower, would you care to join me?"

"Hell yeah baby; I'm not missing out on an opportunity to have your magic hands sponging me down." He laughed loudly and lifted me over his shoulder; carrying me into the ornate bathroom.

I felt refreshed, relaxed and deliriously happy as we made our Descent into New York.

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**REVIEWS= :) = motivation=more...**


	32. Chapter 32 Home Coming

**A/N: As usual thank you to all who have reviewed I appreciate it... I'm a wee bit nervous about posting this chapter and all I can say is there's no rest for the wicked...Please review, I'm interested in your thoughts:) See you at the bottom**

**DISCLAIMER: S MEYER OWNS TWILIGHT...I OWN Triplets and my own twisted imagination....**

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**CHAPTER 32: HOME COMING…**

Not for the first time in my life I suffered a panic attack. I was fine until we got into the heart of the city, where the traffic was horrendous, and the sidewalks bustled with people. I felt like the skyscrapers were closing in on me. I felt claustrophobic; overwhelming feelings of anxiety were threatening to engulf me.

Before I knew it, I had my eyes squeezed shut and I was drawing in great heaving gasps of air. I was holding Edwards hand in a death grip.

"What's the matter Bella, are you ok love?" Edward's voice was full of concern; but there was also an edge of fear to it.

"I feel claustrophobic around these buildings, it's like their closing in on me and I can barely even see the sky." I opened my eyes and watched his face, as I tried to calm myself down.

"Its ok love, you've just got used to the wide open spaces, we'll be home soon and you'll feel better." He squeezed my hand and I felt slightly better.

I continued to watch him, and my breathing had returned to normal by the time he pulled into the underground car park of my building. We left our luggage in the car and headed for the private lift that would take us directly to my floor.

As soon as the lift doors closed, I jumped into Edward arms, my legs encircled his waist.

He gave a surprised laugh, and pressed my back against the cool metal wall. His lips met mine in a demanding kiss; that left me breathless. His hand slid under my chiffon skirt, making my skin tingle at his touch. Too soon he pulled his lips from mine and let my legs slide to the floor.

Edward took half a step back, keeping his hands on my thighs under the hem of my skirt, I leaned against the wall trying to catch my breath; we were both breathing rapidly.

His fingers sought the lace edging of my panties, curling them around the flimsy fabric, I was prepared for him to rip them from my body, but he slid them down over my thighs; watching them fall to the floor.

He pulled his jeans roughly from his hips and pressed himself against me. I hooked my leg around his waist and guided his cock to my entrance. A deep sigh passed my lips as he slid into me, burying himself deep within my warmth.

My hands travelled to his hair, using it to pull his face to the delicate skin of my neck. I couldn't help the smile that played on my lips, when he placed feather light kisses around the edge of my scar, pausing to lick over silvery purple mark.

He quickly built a fast rhythm and we were totally lost in the moment. Neither of us was paying attention to the fact we were rapidly approaching our destination; at that moment all I cared about was having Edward's cock pounding into me, pushing me harder against the wall.

I only looked up when I heard a horribly familiar booming laugh; echoing around the tiny space. Emmett was standing in front of the open lift doors, a huge evil grin on his face and his phone held out in front of him.

I couldn't stop the violent shudder from rolling through me when I heard the repeated click of the phone taking photos as the lift doors rolled shut.

Edward seemed completely oblivious to the fact his brother had just taken photos of us fucking, he continued to thrust into me, as the lift started its decent to the cark park. By the time we hit the ground floor, I was moaning Edwards name into his mouth, as I climaxed around his cock.

"Bella my love; so wet for me baby...I can't get enough of you love...You're my weakness...want...you...forever." I let his words wash over me, his warm breath fanning out across my neck.

I looked up to the panel above the doors, to see we we're only one floor from our destination; I squirmed out of his embrace and reached down for my panties, shoving my legs in frantically and pulling them rougly to my hips.

"What's wrong Bella? You seem in a little edgy about something." He pulled up his pants and bent over to retrieve my panties from the floor, slipping them into his pocket with a smile.

"Edward; it obviously escaped your notice that this is our second trip up to my floor. Emmett and his cell phone were waiting for us when the lift doors opened the first time. He's probably already posted the photos on the internet and I'm not really keen to give him an encore performance."

"Emmett? Fuck…he's a perverted son on a bitch. Don't worry love; I'll make sure the fucktard deletes them." He slipped his arm around my waist and we waited for the doors to open.

Emmett was still there when the doors slid open, "Bella, Buttward, how was your ride in the lift? It looked like you were having so much fun. You know these pictures make up for not letting me see your sex tape. " His booming laugh echoed down the hallway.

I gave him an exasperated sigh when he pulled me into his arms and kissed my cheek, "It's really good to see you Bells; it hasn't been the same around here without you." I smiled at him, until I got a look at myself in the hallway mirror.

"Shit; I'm a mess, bloody sex hair." I mumbled, trying to smooth down my mussed up hair. I was pretty sure that my whole family was waiting for me in my apartment.

"You look beautiful Bella; just like always," Edward smiled at me. I rolled my eyes at him.

"I think you might be a tad bias Edward," He laughed and pulled me close.

"Edward's right Bella; you do look beautiful with that freshly fucked glow on your face." Emmett ducked from Edward's fist, before it connected with his bicep.

He was not as quick to move from my foot, as it kicked him in the shin.

"Ow; alright, I'm sorry I teased you Bells, jeez you don't have to get violent." He mussed my hair and threw open the apartment door, smiling manically as he dragged me inside.

I stared around in confusion; it was definitely my apartment, except I never recognised anything in it; except for my waiting family. It had been totally redecorated, the walls were painted in a light lilac colour that brought out the dark grain of the wooden floors and all the furniture was new.

Before I could say anything more than an overwhelmed, "Oh," Alice was pulling me away from Edward and into her embrace.

"Surprise Bella; I hope you like it. Victoria, Rose and I thought you could do with a change. And Edward's mum helped too." She pulled back and laughed at my stunned expression.

I looked at Edward, fear was bubbling in my chest, what did Esme know about where I had been for the last month? Did Edward tell her I was in rehab? The thought sent a shudder through me.

Before I could say anything or he could, Victoria and James were both hugging me tightly.

"Welcome home baby girl," James smiled widely as he took in my appearance, "You're looking good Bells; a lot healthier and happier."

"Thanks James. I feel a lot healthier and happier and it feels good to be home." He released me from his arms, so Rose could hug me.

When it was Jasper's turn to take me into his embrace, he startled me when he pressed himself firmly against my body, "it's so good to have you home Bells. I've really missed you; life doesn't quite sparkle as much when you're not around." His voice was husky, almost suggestive in my ear.

When his lips brushed the side of my cheek; I could feel the faint tingling where his lips touched my skin.

I pulled back from him, feeling a little embarrassed. His penetrating blue eyes bore into mine, "it's good to see you too Jaz," I was slightly dazed by the way he was looking at me.

Emmett tugged me out of Jasper's grasp and pulled me into a bone crushing hug, "I missed you Bells, don't go away again ok. I hate it when buttward mopes." I laughed as he planted a quick kiss on my forehead.

I was relieved when Edward's arms claimed me once more. I was still a little shaken about what just happened with Jaz. All I really wanted to do; was be alone with Edward.

"Are you hungry love?" Edward led me to the new dining room table, pulling my chair out for me and claiming the one next to me for himself.

Rose, Alice and Victoria went to the kitchen to organise the serving of dinner. Jaz took the opportunity to slip into the empty chair on my other side.

I couldn't decide if I was being paranoid about Jaz; because of the way he affected me whenever our skin came into contact.

I glanced nervously at Edward, wondering if he'd noticed anything.

He was deep in conversation with Emmett and James and didn't seem to think anything of Jaz taking a seat beside me. Maybe I was just being paranoid; I mean Jaz was as crazy about Alice as she was about him.

I pushed it from my mind and tried to concentrate on what Edward was saying to Emmett and James.

The conversation flowed throughout dinner, I was so happy to be back with the people who loved me and who I loved. Edward kept one hand on my thigh the whole time, sliding it under the hem of my skirt; inching further toward my heat with every caress.

Jasper's hand seemed to frequently come into contact with mine, subtly enough; for no one but me to notice. Everytime I rested my hand on the table, Jaz would place his next to mine making sure our skin was touching and engage me in conversation.

I looked over at Alice, checking to see if she noticed what was happening, but she was oblivious as she chatted animatedly to Edward.

By the time we had finished dessert I was longing to be alone with Edward. I was tired and confused about Jasper's weird behaviour. I just wanted to be in my bed, wrapped in Edward's arms.

I let out a deep sigh and Edward immediately noticed, "Are you alright love? You look pretty worn out." I nodded in assent, he squeezed my thigh lightly.

I smiled when less than ten minutes later Edward was suggesting to the table at large that we call it night, stating that I really needed to get some rest.

As soon as we were alone; Edward pulled me into his arms and kissed me softly, "how are you feeling love?"

"A bit overwhelmed actually, you know new surroundings. But I do love what they've done with the place. Which reminds me, how did your mother come to be involved in the redecorating of my apartment? I've never even met your mum."

"Well, as you already know she's an anterior decorator, so Emmett and Jaz asked her to help Alice and Rose, because she's got hundreds of contacts in the decorating world."

I swallowed hard before I asked my next question. My throat had gone dry and there was a definite note of hysteria in my voice, "And where does your mother think I've been for the last month? While she's been helping decorate;"

"Bella; don't panic love. Esme thinks you've been out of town on business. I would never betray your confidence Bella; it's entirely up to you, who you let know about your life." He stroked my hair soothingly and I felt myself relaxing in his embrace.

"Thank you Edward," I whispered and kissed him softly.

"You're welcome love; now how about I run you a bath before bed?" I looked up at him in surprise.

"I have a bathtub?" I was genuinely thrilled with that new addition to my house.

"Yes you do, the bathroom was the only room I requested to have an input into the design of. So you have a look around at your new things and I'll call you when it's ready." He kissed my forehead and headed for the bathroom.

I explored my newly decorated apartment, it was truly beautiful. It was so light, airy and uncluttered; nothing like my usual overflowing style of crammed bookcases and mismatched treasures, that I'd picked up on my travels over the years.

I could see Alice and Rose's interpretations of what I liked in some of the pieces of furniture, but I wondered how much influence Edward's mum had had on the design.

I thought I should probably phone Esme and thank her for her generosity in helping with my apartment, but I was way too chicken, so I decided to send flowers.

I wasn't sure if I'd ever be ready to meet Edwards's parents or if he even wanted to introduce me to them. I mean I'm not the sort of girl who you take home to meet the folks.

I imagined the scene with a shudder; 'Hi I'm Bella, Edward's ex drug addict girlfriend.' yeah I'm sure that would go down lovely at the Sunday lunch.

But Esme had already met my sister's and mum, so it would seem reasonable that she would want to meet me too. I found myself wondering, how much longer I could avoid having to meet them before I looked rude.

Edward's velvety voice pulled me from my thoughts, "Bella love; the baths ready."

I made my way to the bathroom; an audible gasp escaped my lips as I stepped through the doorway. It was breathtaking, Edward had been flawless in the design; everything about the room captured my personality perfectly. I wouldn't have done one thing differently if I'd had the choice.

The room was done in soft purple and silver hues, a huge crystal chandelier hung in the centre of the room casting an array of prisms across the walls. A freestanding candelabrum with cinnamon scented candles stood next to the biggest bathtub I had ever seen.

I looked at Edward, who was watching me intently as I checked out the room, "Edward this is perfect, I would not change one single thing about this room, I love it, thank you so much. How is that you know me so well?"

His smile lit up his beautiful face, "I told you I was going to get to know everything about you Bella, and while I don't claim to know everything yet, I have learnt a few things about what you like." I laughed as he helped me out of my clothes and into the hot scented water.

He slipped into the water, lying at the opposite end of the bath to me.

"Hmm… were you planning on throwing pool parties in this bath Edward? I mean it's roughly the size of a small pool." I smirked at him as he raised my ankle to his lips, kissing it softly.

"The only parties going on in this tub will be private ones; with you and I as the only guests." He grinned at me and I couldn't help but laugh as I nodded in agreement.

We sponged each other down, Edward sucking each of my nipples to hard points before washing over them gently, "Do you wanna get out and go check out the bedroom?"

"Of course," I smirked, flicking water in his face. We climb from the bath, wrapping ourselves in huge fluffy towels; I padded off to my room while Edward extinguished the candles.

I turned on the light and smiled widely, the room was gorgeous. The walls were painted a soft cream, almost the same colour as my skin, there was a colossal four-poster bed with an ornately carved headboard; soft lilac lace billowed around the bed, rustling slightly in the breeze.

I dried myself quickly and slipped between the thick cotton sheets, I let my hand run over the delicate antique lace comforter. I smiled when I saw two beautifully framed pictures of Edward and I taken in Switzerland, hanging on the wall.

"Do you like it love?" Edward appeared in the doorway, a beautiful smile playing on his flawless lips.

"Yes; I love it, but you don't think it's too girly do you? For you I mean; I wouldn't want you to think the house was to feminine for you to feel comfortable living in."

He climbed into bed next to me, "Isabella Swan, are you asking me to move in with you?" Edwards face was adorned with my favourite crooked smile.

"Yes, Edward Cullen I believe that I am."

"In that case, I'd live in a hot pink Barbie dolls castle if it meant I could wake up next to you every morning." He pulled me closer into his chest; bringing his lips to mine. He kissed me greedily, not stopping until I was gasping for air.

He broke the kiss with a deep satisfied sigh, "welcome home love. I can't tell you how good it feels to have you back in my arms."

I pressed myself into him and I closed my eyes, sleep took me quickly.

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**A/N: I hope your not too mad with me...Please review I'm interested to know what you think:)**


	33. Chapter 33 Meet the parents

**A/N: As always thank you to my reviewers, it always makes my day when I get up and read your reviews. I thought it was time Bella met the parents... Please review...**

**DISCLAIMER: And for the 33rd time:).. Steph Meyer owns Twilight...and I own triplets...**

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**CHAPTER 33: MEET THE PARENTS… **

I had been home from rehab about two weeks; Edward and I had got into the habit of sleeping in, so I was a bit peeved when I was awoken by the incessant ringing of his cell phone. I elbowed him in the back and he finally reached over and answered it. I tried to go back to sleep, but it was impossible with Edward conducting a phone call twenty centre meters away from me.

I listened half heartedly as he made plans with the person on the other end of the phone, by the tone of the conversation, I guessed it was his mum and they were making plans for a dinner date. I pressed myself against his back and placed feather light kisses along his shoulder as he finished his conversation.

"I will be sure to thank her Mum and we'll see you tonight." My breathing hitched in my throat, did he just say we? We as in him and I, or did he mean him and his brothers? I secretly prayed for the latter.

"Bella love; that was Esme, she told me to thank you for the lovely flowers, she was absolutely thrilled. When did you send her flowers?"

"Oh…um, I sent them last week to say thank you to her for helping to redecorate. I got her address off Emmett. I'm glad she liked them."

"That was very nice of you love. She rung to invite us for dinner tonight, she and Carlisle are in town for a few days and she's been pestering me to introduce you." I tried to keep the panic from my face, but my eyes must have betrayed me, because Edward was pulling me to his chest. His face rested against my head.

"Bella; there's nothing to worry about. I know Carlisle and Esme will love you, how could they not? And Alice, Rose, Emmett and Jaz will be there?" His warm breath fanned out through the strands of my hair, I felt slightly better that my sisters were going to be there, but I was still apprehensive.

"I don't know Edward, what if they don't like me, what if they think I'm not good enough for you? Or what happens if someone let's slip that I've just got out of rehab." I shuddered violently at the thought and my stomach lurched.

"Bella don't panic love, no ones going to say anything. Just be yourself and I know they'll see how perfect you are for me. Now you stay in bed and I'll go organise breakfast." He kissed me chastely, "I'll be back soon."

I lay back on my pillow and watched Edward's naked form streak across the room, grabbing his clothes from the floor as he sped out the door.

He returned fifteen minutes later, carrying a tray laden with my favourite apricot Danishes and a steaming cappuccino, today's newspaper was tucked under his arm. He placed the tray on the bedside table and slid in beside me.

He kissed my forehead and handed me a pastry, my coffee and a section of the newspaper. I smiled to myself as I took a bite of my Danish, this was as close to heaven as I'd ever been, in bed with the man of my dreams eating my favourite food with no job to rush off to or any of the other mundane tasks that used to fill our days. And I knew it was only going to get better when Edward and I left to travel on our own for an entire year.

I devoured my Danish and reached for another, I couldn't believe how hungry I had been in the last week, I was constantly eating and I noticed I was gaining weight rapidly. When I asked Edward if he'd noticed anything different about my body, he pulled back the covers and looked me over thoroughly before delivering his verdict.

"Well love, you've definitely gained a little weight, but Bella please remember its much needed weight, and your breasts definitely seem fuller but I don't think they'd find you obese on the BMI scale."

I rolled my eyes at him and slid out of bed. I was headed for my closet and half way across the room when the rustling of Edward's newspaper distracted me. I turned to see him watching me thoughtfully.

"What?" I said rather shyly.

"I was just thinking; that there is something different about you Bella. It's like an inner light has been ignited inside you and you just seem to be glowing love." I ducked my head in embarrassment.

"It's probably because I'm so deliriously happy." I flashed him a wide smile and turned to pull the closet door open.

My smile turned into a grimace as I looked at the rows of silk, satin and taffeta that greeted me from under their plastic wrappers, "Alice," I hissed through my clenched teeth.

Edward chuckled from behind me, "What's the matter love?"

"Alice has filled my closet with designer evening dresses. Where does she think I'm going to wear these things? I mean she knows that I don't do high society."

"Well love we could rectify that you know." I looked at Edward in surprise, my eyebrows arched.

"I don't think so; I've spent many years of my life avoiding that snooty, shallow, pretentious scene. The 'country club set' is something I never have and never will aspire to."

"Hmm… I like that attitude Bella, but sometimes there is just no way to avoid it." He looked at me sheepishly and I realised instantly what he was trying to tell me.

"Edward Cullen are you trying to tell me we are having dinner at the country club?"

"Yes; sorry love, Esme and Carlisle are members." His face was a mask of worry; obviously he was scared of how I was going to react.

It made me feel slightly guilty, "Edward I'm sure one night of rolling with the horsey set won't kill me. "I took it Alice was already privy to the fact that Edward, Jasper and Emmett's parents moved in those circles by the amount of silk and satin that adorned my closet.

As I was rifling through the multitudes of plastic bags I noticed three racks of men's clothes, a row of formal suits and two rows of casual clothes, "I see Alice has taken to shopping for you too."

"Hmm... Yes, your sister never seems to do things by halves, I tried to protest but she said that my clothes had to match your clothes. I hope you don't mind that they're already in your closet."

"I'm sorry about Alice, unfortunately we're a package deal, but I must say I like the look of your clothes hanging next to mine, it feels right; it feels like home."

He flashed me his beautiful smile and kissed me softly, "Thank you love, home to me is where ever you are. Now hurry up and choose something to wear, so I can find my matching attire." I laughed at his grimace and began rifling through the sea of fabric, hoping something would catch my eye.

I settled on a midnight blue Valentino cocktail dress I found amongst the masses in the back row of the closet. I snuck off to the shower while Edward rifled through the huge collection of ties looking for the exact matching colour to my dress.

We met in the hallway, Edward pulling my towel from my damp body and kissing the skin of my neck as one hand cupped my breast the other slid between my legs and into my core.

"Edward," I giggled as I pushed him away and heard his disappointed groan, we need to get ready or we'll be late and as much as the idea appeals to me, I want to make a semi good impression on your parents by at least being punctual."

He looked me deep in the eyes, "Bella; my parents are going to love you regardless of what time we get there. I want you to relax and be yourself tonight ok." I nodded my head but stayed silent; I took a deep calming breath and picked up my towel.

Edward kissed my forehead and headed for the bathroom, I went to find the appropriate underwear to wear with my dress. I rifled through my draws, not recognising one single item in there. It seemed that Alice had taken the liberty to shop for my underwear as well.

I blow dried and curled my hair, coated my eyelashes in a generous lashing of mascara and smeared a coat of my favourite cinnamon lip-gloss on my lips.

Edward entered the room and a soft moan escaped his lips when he saw me, "Bella you look breathtakingly beautiful in that dress. You will without a doubt dazzle everyone you meet tonight."

I rolled my eyes, "Edward I think you might be a teeny bit bias you know."

"Not at all my love, I just call them like I see them."

"Just hurry up and get dressed would you, I'm having a hard time with my self control with you standing there with just a piece of towelling standing between my lips and your beautiful cock.

"Bella;" He growled.

"Fine, I'll go and wait for you in the lounge; then I won't be tempted." I pouted sulkily and headed down the hall.

My heart literally skipped a beat when Edward walked into the room, If he thought I looked breathtaking, he was heartbreaking in his flawless beauty. He was stunning in his black suit, white shirt and midnight blue tie. His bronze hair stood in its usual sexy disarray. I smiled widely at him as my heart melted.

"Are you ready love?" He approached me swiftly, taking my hand in his and kissing it softly.

"Yes, and Edward you look breathtaking tonight." I raised his hand to my lips brushing them gently over his skin.

"Thank you love. Bella, I have a gift for you and I was hoping you'd wear it tonight." He reached into his pocket a pulled out a long thin rectangular box covered in deep purple velvet.

He opened the lid carefully and I let out an audible gasp, sitting on top of a velvet cushion was a huge and extremely beautiful midnight blue sapphire and black velvet choker, "Edward it's beautiful and far too much."

"Bella please accept it." He didn't wait for my answer, taking the choker from the box he place it around my neck, I moved my hair so he could do up the clasp.

I turned to face him; brushing my lips across his, "Thank you Edward, its exquisite." I smiled when he sucked in his bottom lip, tasting the lip gloss I'd left.

"You're welcome love, but I have to say it pales in comparison to your beauty. But it does look exquisite on you; which I knew it would. Now as much as I'd like to see you in nothing but that choker and my favourite red suede 'come fuck me boots,' I think we'd better go, since punctuality is your thing." I poked my tongue out at him petulantly and took his hand.

When we arrived at the country club our whole party was there waiting for us. I stood by the bar for a moment trying to fend off the panic attack that was threatening to engulf me. I considered ordering a drink but I knew that it would be counter productive.

Edward squeezed my hand and led me to the table. I smoothed my hair over my neck making sure my mark was covered.

A handsome blond man stood as we approached the table, he wore a beatific smile as his eyes first took in Edward and then flickered on me.

"Edward it's good to see you son." Edward smiled at his Dad; I noticed they had very similar smiles.

"Hi Dad it's good to see you too. Dad I'd like to introduce you to my Bella, Bella this is Carlisle." Carlisle turned his gaze on me; his eyes were precisely the same shade as Edwards.

I stepped forward and took his out stretched hand, "It's nice to meet you Carlisle." I smiled shyly.

"It's very nice to meet you Bella. May I introduce you to my wife and Edward's mother; Esme." I looked over at the most elegant woman I had ever seen, she reminded me of Audrey Hepburn with her timeless classic style.

Her face broke into a warm smile as she reached out for my hand, "Bella, it's so very nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too Esme and thank you so much for your help in redecorating my apartment, it was a lovely surprise and I love it so much.

"It was my pleasure dear." Her warm smile lit up her whole face and she gestured me to sit before she leaned over to kiss Edward on the cheek, "It's lovely to see you my son." Esme's eyes twinkled as she took in Edward's appearance.

"It's great to see you too Mum." He released her from his hug and sat down next to me. I turned to my left to smile down the table at my sisters and Emmett.

Jasper was sitting next to me; this made me feel a little uncomfortable after the last time we sat together at dinner. He gave me a radiant smile, "Bella it's good to see you, may I say you look beautiful tonight," I tried to hide my shock as he picked up my hand and brought it gently to his soft lips.

My skin tingled slightly and I quickly slipped my hand from his, "Thank you Jaz, it's good to see you too."

Dinner was going well; the conversation was light and easy. Esme and Jasper seemed to monopolise my attention and I never really had time to speak with anybody else. Jaspers leg continually rubbed against mine as he shot me covert glances. I looked over at Alice; she was happily engrossed in her conversation with Carlisle.

I broke off my conversation with Jasper to lean into Edward; I closed my eyes with a small sigh as he kissed the top of my head. He brought his lips to my ear and whispered softly to me, "I think we should tell them we're planning to go away."

I looked at him questioningly; he leaned in and hurriedly whispered to me again, "they need to know and this will give them time to get used to the idea."

I leaned in closer my lips brushing against his ear, "Are you sure? We haven't even made plans yet."

"I'm sure." I nodded my head in agreement but I was suddenly feeling extremely nervous. I had no idea how my sisters were going to react to the news, let alone what Edward's parents and brothers were going to say.

Edward and I ate quickly when the desserts arrived. I was on my last mouthful when he cleared his throat. He took my hand in his as the table fell silent, "So; Bella and I thought it would be a good time to let you all know that we are planning to spend a year travelling the world. Mike and I have offered Bella a job as our resident artist and Bella and I are taking her theme of 'New York in love' global. And we'll be leaving in about four week's time."

I ignored Jasper's quiet gasp and looked at Edward in mild surprise. We hadn't even made plans for our trip and suddenly we were leaving in four weeks time. I looked at the faces of our companions; each of them was wearing the same stunned look.

My gaze returned to Alice and Rose; both were visibly shaking and shooting each other worried glances.

It was Emmett who finally broke the spiralling silence, "Alright, now we'll have an excuse to take more vacations. That's if Edward let's us interrupt his alone time with his sweetie."

Edward scowled at his brother. I could see he was going to retort so I decided to intervene, "Emmett, we'd love it if you met us for a short holiday. You're welcome anytime, and that goes for the rest of you also."

I noticed the worried glance Carlisle and Esme shared, but I didn't think anyone else did.

Rose and Alice were still silent. I knew they would wait until we were away from Carlisle and Esme before they made their views known.

"I'm surprised you'd leave your business for a whole year son, do you think that's wise? And where are you planning to visit on this prolonged adventure of yours?" Carlisle voice was smooth and polite, but I detected a slight edge to it and so did Edward.

"Jasper and Emmett can hold the fort while we're away. And Bella and I haven't decided where we're going yet Dad, but I promise you'll be the first to know." I could hear the faintly sarcastic tone to Edward's voice. I squeezed his leg under the table, I could tell he was annoyed with his Dad's reaction but I didn't want him to say anything that might cause more tension.

Esme was noticeably silent and I suddenly wished Edward had said nothing about the trip.

I was desperate to get out of there and go home. Edward's announcement seemed to have gone down like a lead balloon and I wanted to leave in case things got any tenser.

Edward seemed to read my mind; he turned to me with a smile and asked, "Are you ready to go now love." I smiled at him appreciatively and nodded. He stood up and helped from my chair.

I glanced down at Jasper who seemed quiet and sullen as he pushed his dessert around with his spoon. Edward mussed his hair and he looked up at us with a brooding expression on his face.

"Cheer up Jaz, you and pixie can come and visit us too." Edward flashed him a brief smile, Jasper gave him a small smile and returned to his dessert.

When Edward leaned over to kiss his mother's cheek, Jasper grabbed my hand, "Good night Bella; it was lovely to see you as always." Once again he brushed his lips over my hand.

I looked at Alice who was smiling at Jasper. She was looking at him with such love that it made me feel guilty.

It was at that moment I realised how happy I would be when Edward and I left on our trip. Not only would I get to spend all my time alone with Edward but it would put some distance between me and Jasper's odd behaviour.

We said our goodbyes, Esme promised to call me tomorrow to arrange a lunch date.

I breathed a deep sigh of relief when we finally walked away from the table. Edward kept his arm around me the whole time only letting me go when the valet arrived with the car. I closed the door and turned up the heat.

I looked over at Edward; he seemed relaxed and happy. He reached over and took my hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze...

"Edward, do you think it was such a good idea to tell everyone we were going overseas in four weeks time? I mean we haven't even decided where we're going yet. And did you notice that no one seemed very happy that we're going."

"Bella love; we'll start making plans in the morning, all I want is to be alone with you as soon as possible. And to be perfectly honest I don't care if no one seemed happy. All I care about is our happiness."

"Well I can't argue with that, I can't wait to be alone with you too," I rubbed his thigh and felt the electric current shoot straight to my core, "But more than that I want you to hurry home so you fuck me in that colossal bed of ours."

I smirked at him when a low growl rumbled from his throat and the car accelerated forcefully.


	34. Chapter 34 Plans

**A/N: this is just a quick chapter so you can see where Edward and Bella are planning to go.**

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**CHAPTER 34: PLANS…**

I awoke to the shrill ring of the phone I reached over and snatched it from its cradle.

"Hello," I said barely conscious and trying to blink the hazy film from my eyes.

"Bella is that you? It's Esme here."

"Hi Esme, how are you?" I stifled a gasp as Edward pulled me close, his morning glory poking into my lower back

"I'm very well Bella, it was so lovely to meet you last night." Edwards's hands slid over my breasts rolling each of my nipples between his fingers.

"It was very nice meeting you and Carlisle, Edward has told me so much about you." Edwards hand slid down to palm over my core before slipping in a finger.

"So Bella, I was hoping you would be able to meet me for lunch tomorrow? I would really like to get to know you a little better."

Edward slid in another finger pumping them gently. I could feel my juices coating his fingers. "Sure Esme tomorrow will be fine, where would you like to meet?" Edwards thumb moved to my clit working it in small circles, I clenched my teeth trying to stop the moan threatening to escape me.

"How's the country club at one o'clock?" I suppressed my shudder and took a deep breath through my nose.

I tried to hide the panic in my voice, "that sounds good Esme. I'll see you then." I was trying to fight the rising fear that Esme was going to interrogate me and try to convince me not to take her son away.

"Good bye Dear."

"Good bye Esme." I was determined not to let Edward see how scared I was at having to face his mother alone.

I threw the phone on the floor, squealing as Edward attacked my neck with his lips.

"So has my mum roped you into lunch at the club?" I took a deep breath

"Yes tomorrow at the club. That's twice in a week, should I be afraid?"

He laughed throatily, "Yes love; you should be very afraid."

"Not helping Edward; you're meant to be soothing my fears not sending them into overdrive."

"Sorry love, fore warned is forearmed." My breathing hitched but Edward didn't seem to notice; I spun in his arms and placed soft kisses against his smooth chest.

He tilted my head up and brought his lips to mine, his kiss was soft at first but it soon grew in urgency. I pressed myself into him, my hands tangling in his hair. I hissed softly when he pulled his lips from mine.

He smirked as he slid down my body, pausing to place a row of kisses along my stomach before dipping his head, his tongue slid along my slit, flicking over my sensitive bud.

As his tongue licked over my clit he slipped his fingers into my wetness, pumping gently at first but getting harder and faster with every moan that passed my lips.

"Oh god Edward, your tongue could rival your magic fingers." I tightened my grip in his hair as I pulled him harder against me.

I could feel the familiar tightening in my muscles and the intense tingling of my clit as Edward licked and sucked it between his lips. "Oh god…oh fuck Edward…fuck…Ed…ward…Ed….ward." I tried not to pull his hair from his scalp as my back arched, I could barely catch my breath and stars burst before my eyes.

Edward never ceased his ministrations. Before I came down from my first orgasm another was washing over me. I closed my eyes, his name falling in whispers from my lips.

I sighed when he withdrew his fingers from me he kissed a trail up my stomach, pausing to suck each of my nipples before travelling to my lips.

He slid his tongue along my bottom lip before seeking my tongue. With out breaking the kiss he straddled my stomach, making sure his weight rested on his knees. He pulled his lips from mine bringing his tongue down to lick the delicate skin between my breasts, he kissed each of my nipples softly and pushed my breasts together.

I shivered underneath him as he slid his cock in the crevice between my breasts. A low guttural growl escaped his lips. "God Bella you have no idea how good it feels to fuck these beautiful tits of yours."

I closed my eyes as he squeezed my breasts tighter, punctuating each thrust with a moan. My fingers drifted toward my clit, I sighed softly as my bud tingled under my touch. I worked my finger slowly up my slit coating my clit in my still seeping juices.

Edward continued to thrust against me pushing himself harder with every stroke. "Open your eyes Bella."

My eyes flew open and my finger worked furiously over my clit, I could feel my orgasm building and I wanted to hold off for Edward.

His eyes never left mine as he increased his tempo, "I want you to cum with me my goddess." He crooned, his velvety smooth voice caressing my ears.

"Edward…I…Ed…ward…love you" My eyes never left his as I rode out my climax. I could feel my juices seeping down my thigh.

"God Bella you're so beautiful when you cum for me love." He thrust against me again his breath ragged as he whispered my name. "Bella…my love…my life…" I groaned as his hot creamy seed coated the skin between my breasts.

He fell forward his weight resting on his forearms against the wall; I ran my finger through his creamy cum and brought it to my lips. I let my tongue slid along my finger before putting it my mouth and sucking it clean.

"Mmm…Edward you taste so good."

"Jesus Bella you're such a naughty girl."

I smirked at him as I scooped another sample of his essence and brought it to my lips, "only for you baby."

"That's right love, you're mine." He kissed my forehead, "I'll go and turn the shower on for you." He climbed off the bed throwing me a towel from the floor as he ducked from the room.

I cleaned myself up and made my way to the bathroom, pausing to kiss Edward chastely as I passed him in the hall.

The smell of warm pastries met me when I opened the bathroom door. I followed the delicious smell looking around for Edward as I entered the lounge, I saw him through the open door to the balcony reading his newspaper and sipping his coffee.

I smiled at the beautiful New York Day and kissed Edwards bronzed hair as I took a seat next to him. "Yum apricot Danishes, thanks babe it's just what I felt like."

"You're welcome love, I know they're your favourite so I rung the bakery yesterday to get a fresh batch delivered this morning."

"Edward Cullen; are you trying to give me chronic heart disease or a worse jelly belly than I have already have?" I teased, trying hard to hold back my laugh.

"Bella don't be so absurd, tomorrow I'll make you a fresh fruit salad for breakfast and I'll eat the pastries."

"No I want fruit and the pastries." He laughed loudly when my bottom lip formed a pout.

"So what do you want to do today love?"

"Go back to bed and plan our trip."

"Sounds like an excellent idea love, you bring the coffee and your adorable jelly belly and I'll bring the Danishes."

We spent the rest of the day in bed; making plans about where we would go. We both wrote down the places we most wanted to visit so we could plan from there. My list included Italy, Greece, France, Nepal, Tibet, New Zealand and Australia. Edward wanted to go to Peru, Scotland, Alaska, Morocco and Zambia. Not to mention Barbados, Jamaica, Tahiti, Fiji and any other tropical place in between.

"What's so interesting about the tropics babe?" I was curious as to why Edward was so intent on being in the sun.

"Because Bella, I want to go to places hot enough that you have to wear nothing but teeny tiny bikinis."

I rolled my eyes and snorted, "well that's interesting logic you have there Edward."

He smiled my favourite crooked smile, abandoning his note pad he pulled me into his arms. We spent the rest of the afternoon making love and refining our plans, only surfacing from the bedroom when I heard Alice's shrill voice calling from the hallway.

]

"We'll be right there Alice." I shouted as I sprung out of bed; throwing on my sweat pants and Edwards T-shirt. I pulled my hair into a messy bun making sure there were strands covering my mark and went to find Alice.

She took one look at me and rolled her eyes, "bloody hell Bells its five o'clock in the afternoon, have you been in bed all day?"

"Yeah, pretty much." I giggled as I headed for the balcony where I could hear Emmett's booming voice.

"Bells; I'm glad to see you made it out of bed today." Emmett chortled as he pulled me on to his knee and kissed the back of my head.

"Emmett, just because Edward and I have been in bed all day doesn't mean we haven't been productive. It so happens that we have been busy making travel plans."

Emmett snorted, "Yeah right Bells who are you trying to kid, you only wear your hair like that when you've got Edward style sex hair.

Edward walked onto the balcony chuckling, "quit hassling my girl, fucktard."

"Not a chance Buttward, you're taking her away from me for a whole year. I need to pay out on her while I can." Edward and I rolled our in unison and laughed.

I glanced at Jasper as Emmett made his comment about being away for a year, he didn't look happy at all. His eyes met mine and he flashed me a dazzling smile. I gave him a small smile and returned my attention to Emmett. Alice disappeared inside to organised pizzas for dinner.

"You know what Bells you feel different," Emmett said to me seriously.

I looked at him in surprise, "what are you on about Emmett."

"I don't know how to describe it Bells, but you feel different." He shook his head like he was trying to solve a difficult problem.

"It's probably all the Danishes I've been eating." I giggled and mussed Emmett's hair.

We spent the rest of the evening discussing our travel plans with the others. Emmett was quick to point out which countries he would be visiting us in. Edward was perceptibly pissed off, it was obvious he didn't want visitors at all in the next year and Emmett planning to spend months with us was getting to him.

Edward caught my gaze and I winked and smiled reassuringly at him. He rolled his eyes and I nodded slightly to show him I understood. He instantly relaxed and I felt better too.

I was grateful to Rose when she called it a night and everyone returned to their own abodes.

I climbed into bed next to Edward; I was barely in his arms when he started complaining about Emmett intruding on our holiday.

"Edward don't worry, Emmett has too find us before he can visit. If we're not in the mood for visitors we'll just slip off the radar."

His smile was radiant as he took in my words, "Bella love; that's an excellent plan." He kissed the top of my head and inhaled deeply.

I wanted to tell him of course it was an excellent plan since I thought of it but my eyelids fluttered closed and I was asleep.

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	35. Chapter 35 Ladies who lunch

**A/N: Thank you to those of you who reviewed, I love the feed back, please keep it coming... At this stage I cannot confirm or deny that Bella is pregnant, you'll just have to wait and see:). As for Jasper...;)...I'm not commenting!!!**

**DISCLAIMER: You know it and I know it so I'm not writing it....**

**CHAPTER 35: LADIES WHO LUNCH…**

I spent a good part of the morning poring through the immense contents of my closet trying to find an appropriate outfit to wear to lunch with Esme. It wasn't that I didn't have an appropriate outfit I, had dozens of them. The problem was I couldn't fit into most of them, I was sure I'd gained more weight in the last couple of days. I was getting seriously concerned at my rapidly expanding waist line, I was sure it wasn't normal.

I settled on a violet cashmere sweater dress with a black blazer and black Jimmy Choo peep toes. When I was satisfied with my appearance I went to find Edward. I found him in front of the computer screen booking our travel plans. We were only using the Cullen private jet for long haul flights

Edward minimised the screen as I approached, causing me to immediately become suspicious.

"Edward are you trying to hide something from me?" I teased as I sat down in his lap.

"It's a surprise Bella; it's nothing to worry that pretty little head about. You look beautiful as always, very country club. Esme will be pleased." I groaned at the thought of the country club.

I gave Edward a chaste kiss and headed for the door, I knew if I stayed in his arms any longer I wouldn't be making it to lunch with Esme.

I was just pulling into the country club when my phone rung, it was Jess ringing to say she was getting out in a little over a week and wanted to meet up for lunch. I agreed immediately and made her promise to call me when she was released.

I arrived at the club just before one o'clock and was shown to Esme's table; she smiled warmly as I approached.

"Hi Esme, I hope you haven't been waiting long?"

"No dear, I only arrived minutes ago." She kissed both of my cheeks before gesturing me to take a seat.

An elegantly dressed woman arrived to take our drinks order, Esme looked over the drinks menu, "would you like a glass of wine Bella?"

I looked at Esme almost apologetically, "Um… No thank you Esme I don't drink alcohol but a pineapple juice and a cappuccino would be nice." I smiled at our hostess as she took my order.

"So you don't drink Bella? Is there any particular reason why?" I shifted uncomfortably in my chair and Esme seemed to notice. "I'm so sorry Bella I didn't mean to pry."

I blushed in embarrassment, "that's alright Esme; I don't drink alcohol because I don't enjoy it. It has an adverse effect on me and I much prefer to have a clear head." I hoped it didn't sound as much of a crock of shit to her as it did to me as I said it.

"That's very sensible of you dear. So Bella what would you like for lunch?" I picked up my menu and scanned the contents. I settled on the lobster ravioli and Esme ordered the same.

We engaged in small talk as we waited for our food to arrive. I found I couldn't relax; I was constantly on edge waiting for Esme to start asking awkward questions. She waited until we were half way through our delicious lunch.

"So Bella; Edward tells me you worked for the United Nations. I was surprised that you would give that up to become an artist. I mean a career in the United Nations; I would have thought that would be a much more desirable than a job as a photographer."

I was slightly taken aback, but I wasn't going to buy into her snobbery, "Actually Esme I look at the U.N. gig as more of a job than a career, I mean it's not like I'm ever going to be in the running to head the United Nations or write policy, I am just a P.A. after all. In actual fact even though photography is just a hobby, Edward and Mike actually offered me my dream career. Beside I couldn't turn down the opportunity to spend a year alone with Edward."

Esme's face registered shock before she smoothed her features into a smile, "Well Bella that's very brave of you to take a leap into the unknown, and I must say I've never seen Edward so happy. You seem a much better match for him than Tanya."

It was my turn to register shock. I could only assume Tanya was an old girlfriend.

Esme seem to notice my shock, "Oh Bella I'm so sorry has Edward not told you about Tanya?" She looked at me slightly mortified; apologetically.

"It's ok Esme. I've never actually asked Edward about his past relationships. It's none of my business and I'm really not interested in who Edward knew in his past, I'm more interested in my future with him."

"Do you love my son Bella? I only ask because I can tell how much he loves you, I've never seen him look as radiantly happy as he was at dinner the other night."

"I do love your son Esme; I love him very much, Edward is the kindest, most caring person I have ever met." I tried to let my voice show the depth of my sincerity.

I guessed it worked because she beamed a warm smile at me, "Bella I'm so very happy to hear that and I can tell you're sincere."

Esme totally relaxed after that and became extremely excited and gracious. "Bella I really can't wait until you and Edward are back from your trip, I'm looking forward to getting you involved with my charities and I'll be able to introduce you to all the other young society girls. I know you'll fit right in, along with Rosalie and Alice."

I repressed a shudder and smiled, "that sounds lovely Esme." I seemed to have lied convincingly because she smiled that radiant smile again.

I made a pact with myself there and then to go home and convince Edward that we should travel the world indefinitely like gypsies. Repel all technology and just go and live together on a deserted Island, maybe somewhere near Tahiti. I let myself get caught up in my fantasy for a moment.

That was until Esme's next sentence brought me back to my surroundings.

"Bella; I've decided to throw you and Edward a going away party, if you don't mind that is." I inwardly cringed at the thought of another night out in this pretentious place. I'm not sure if Esme read my mind but she quickly added, "Yes I think we'll have it at our home in the Hamptons."

"You really don't need to do that Esme, a family dinner would be fine." I could tell by the look on her face she wasn't going to take no for an answer.

"Honestly it's really no trouble Bella, besides it will give me the opportunity to introduce you to some of our friends." I knew I had to concede, so I graciously agreed.

Esme was delighted and we spent the afternoon drinking iced tea and watching the young ladies get tennis lessons. Some how I couldn't see myself fitting into this scene, Rose and Alice on the other hand would probably fit right in, they don't mind this kind of thing.

I left Esme at the club, I was eager to get home and see how Edward was. I was just pulling into my parking space when my phone rang, I checked the caller I.D. it was Jake.

"Hey Jake how are you?"

Good Bells; how about you beautiful?"

"I'm really good, so what you been up to?"

"Just hanging out on the Rez, How about you?"

"Oh just making plans to do some travelling overseas, which reminds me, is there any chance you can fly up for my going away party? I'm not sure, when it will be but if I had to guess I'd say next Saturday night. I'll email you the details if you wanna come."

"Sure; that sounds great, sorry Bells but I've got to go, some of mates just arrived. Email me ok?"

"No worries Jake, I'll talk to you soon." I sat in the car for a few minutes and thought about my earlier conversation with Esme.

Though I was extremely curious about Tanya, I decided not to ask Edward about her. If I was completely honest, I didn't know if I wanted to know about any of Edward's past relationships. Other women that he may have made promises to; who he may have told he loved.

I refused to let that horrible thought take hold, so I spent the next few minutes in the lift telling myself that Edward loved me and that's all that mattered.

When I walked into our apartment Edward was still sitting at the computer desk.

He smiled my favourite crooked smile when he saw me, "how was lunch with Esme love?" He shut down the computer and grabbed me by the hand, leading me to the couch.

"It was very nice; I had lobster ravioli." I kept my tone light and conversational, I knew he'd be looking for any signs that I was trying to hide something.

Edward's eyebrows arched, he obviously knew his Mum better than that. "Yes well I knew you'd enjoy the food, but I wasn't sure how much you'd enjoy the inquisition. Did she try to rope you into her Charities and promise to introduce you to all the lovely young ladies she'd love you to befriend?"

"Yes." I cringed at the mere memory of it.

"Don't worry love; you'll have a whole year in which you can psyche yourself into it." Edwards chortled and I punched his arm.

"Actually Edward, I was wondering how you'd feel about just travelling the world indefinitely? You know we'll just live like gypsies. We can repel all forms of communication with our families and keep one step ahead of them, so they can never find us."

"Please don't tempt me love. I promise to keep a check on Esme; I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do."

"Thanks babe I knew I could count on you." I snickered, "and I meant to tell you, your Mum has decided to throw us a going away party at their Hamptons home."

Edward groaned and I laughed and changed the subject, "So how was your day?"

"It was good love; I've booked all our flights and accommodation we're leaving for Peru in four weeks time." He flashed me a heart-stopping smile.

"Four weeks, that's ages away. I wish we were leaving tomorrow." Edward laughed loudly when I pouted, "Come on sulky sue let's go to bed, I'm sure I can do something to take your mind off the wait.

"Edward; It's only six o'clock, don't you want something to eat?"

"Yes love; I do want something to eat…you're my dinner tonight." I rolled my eyes and let him pull me to my feet. I squealed in surprise as Edward swept me off my feet and carried me bridal style to our room.

My feet had barely touched the floor when his fingers found the hem of my dress; he pulled it over my head, throwing it behind him as he dropped to his knees. I sighed when he placed a trail of feather light kisses along my stomach. I let a deep contented sigh fall from my lips as I threaded my fingers into his hair.

I giggled when he placed a lingering kiss on the satin triangle of my panties, my giggle turned to a gasp of surprise when he ripped the delicate satin from my body. He kissed the patch of silky black curls with a groan, which sent tingle's racing through me.

Edwards tongue sort my clit, his finger slid along my slit spreading my wetness along my folds. I adjusted my position, standing with my legs wide apart as Edwards fingers and tongue explored me. When he drew my clit between his lips, my knees nearly buckled.

Edward realised I was having trouble staying upright, pulling away from me he lay down on the floor, "Come sit on my face love I haven't finished my entrée yet."

I dropped to my knees and straddled his face; he used his fingers to draw my lips apart as his tongue alternated between swirling over my clit and delving into my dripping core. Edward was a master composer when it came to my body, every cell of my being reacted to him, humming in perfect harmony.

"Fuck Edward, your tongue is so good, don't stop baby." I pushed myself harder against him, as his mouth attacked my clit, sucking, licking and nuzzling the sensitive little bud.

I could feel the tightening of my muscles as the tingling in my clit intensified, Edward sensed my approaching orgasm and murmured, "cum for me my Bella, I want to drink from you baby."

His words were enough to send me hurtling over the edge, my thighs shook around his ears, "Fuck I love cuming for you Edward… only you can make me feel this way." I closed my eyes and let my body enjoy the moment, revelling in the feeling of Edward's tongue lapping up my juices.

I slipped off his face and slid down his body my hands tugging at his shirt; he helped me remove his clothes kicking his jeans from his ankles. As soon as he was free of his pants, I took his cock in my mouth, giving it one loving suck before pulling it from my lips. I swirled my tongue over his tip sliding it along his slit before bringing him back into my mouth drawing him deeper with every bob of my head.

"Bella; I love the way you suck me into your throat, it feels incredible baby." I moaned around his cock, feeling it harden from the vibrations.

I sucked him down again before slowly pulling my lips up his length withdrawing him completely.

I looked up at him through my lashes, "Edward I want you to fuck me doggy style." I spun around positioning myself on all fours and wiggled my ass at Edward.

I giggled at the low guttural growl that hissed through his teeth. He dropped to his knees and shuffled up behind me, I squealed in surprise when his hand connected with my ass cheek, leaving it stinging.

"Edward Cullen, why are you spanking me?" I turned my head to glare at him.

"Bella; I've told you before, I'm going to punish you if you tease me, and wiggling that fuckable ass in front of me constitutes teasing." He rubbed over my cheek and the stinging subsided.

"Fine; now I've had my punishment can I please have my pleasure?"

"It's my pleasure that matters at the moment Bella," Edward's voice had a ring of authority to it that made me moan.

He let his cock tease the small pink entrance between my cheeks before gently pushing himself into me; I adjusted my position allowing him to inch further inside me. I pushed against him, his cock sinking deep into my tight passage.

"Jesus fuck Bella…your ass is perfect…it's so tight love…" He slid out slowly before pushing himself deeper, his hands tightening their grip on my hips.

He punctuated each of his gentle strokes with a kiss on my spine. I moved forward allowing my forehead rest against my arm as my other hand drifted towards my clit, I pressed my finger against it, moving the swollen bud from side to side in small circles.

"Mmm…Bella; I love it when you play with yourself while I fuck your tight little ass. I want you to slip your fingers inside your hot wet pussy love; I want you to fuck yourself with your fingers until you cum." Edward pushed a little harder, his hard cock slipping in and out of me rhythmically.

I slid two of my fingers inside myself, coating them in my juices, my thumb slid over my clit

"Faster Bella; I want you to fuck yourself into a frenzy baby." Edward started to thrust a little harder and faster into me, his fingers pressing deeper into my flesh as he pulled me back to meet his strokes.

I pumped my fingers harder into my core coating them with my juices and pressed my thumb harder against my clit drawing faster and faster circles, "Fuck Edward…I'm gonna cum all over my fingers baby…it feels too good."

"I want you to cum for me Bella, I'm gonna suck those babies clean after I've cum all over your beautiful ass."

"Fuck Edward I love it when you talk dirty to me, it makes wanna cum so bad."

The growl that rumbled from his throat was lower and more animalistic than I'd ever heard from him, the sound was like a shot of amphetamines straight to my centre and before I could catch my breath, I was cuming around my fingers, my muscles clamping tightly around them .

"Oh…fuck…Ed…ward…Ed…ward…holy fucken hell." I pressed my forehead into my arm and closed my eyes, trying to fight the wave of light-headedness that crashed over me causing my vision to blur.

I pushed back against Edward meeting every one of his strokes, I slipped my fingers from my core and slid my hand between my legs cupping Edward's balls, I massaged them softly.

"Fuck Bella…I'm gonna cum between your beautiful tight ass cheeks baby…I'm gonna rub it all over your wet pussy baby. He picked up his tempo I pushed against him, his pelvis slapping against my cheeks.

"Cum for me Edward, I want to feel your hot cum dripping onto my pussy."

"Jesus…Fuck…Bella…I love that dirty little mouth of yours. Fucking your tight little ass…so beautiful…my Bella…mine forever." I gasped as he pulled his cock from me, his hot cum sliding down toward my pussy.

Edward lay against my back, kissing every inch of skin he could, "Bella; you are so incredible love, you totally blow my mind. I can't believe how good you make me feel. My perfect fit, my love, my life, forever…"

He slid off me, grabbing his T-shit and cleaned me up as I lay with my forehead still resting on my arm.

"Bella love, I'll turn the shower on for you and go and make us Dinner."

The smell of bacon and eggs greeted me as I left the bathroom in my fluffy lilac robe. "Yum Edward that smells delicious."

"Sit down love, there's pineapple juice on the table for you." I did what I was told and downed my juice in one; I guess some habits die-hard.

We ate a hasty dinner in virtual silence; I was so hungry I had finished my dinner in a few mouthfuls. I asked Edward to make me some more eggs and this time I wanted them covered in ground cinnamon.

He looked at me in surprise but said nothing until he had returned with a cheese omelette covered in cinnamon, "that's a new combo love; I've never known you to have cinnamon on eggs before."

I frowned as I registered his words, "you know what Edward you're right, I have never had this combo, but god it's so yummy."

I washed the few dinner dishes while Edward had a shower, I abruptly felt exhausted.

I went and lay in bed, I tried to stay awake and wait for Edward to finish his shower but sleep took me from the moment my head touched the pillow.

**A/N: Reviews = :)=up dates ...**


	36. Chapter 36 Cocktails and Confessions

**A/N: As usual thank you to those who have reviewed this story and please keep them coming. Sorry it's taken so long to update, I lost a couple of the original chapters and had to rewrite them(which has taken ages,) not to mention the additional chapters I'm adding, honestly it's starting to feel like the never ending story. **

**Hope you enjoy this chapter...**

**DISCLAIMER: S Meyer owns Twilight, I own triplets...**

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**CHAPTER 36: COCKTAILS AND CONFESSIONS…**

Two weeks had passed since I had lunched with Esme. She had phoned a week ago to tell me the party was scheduled for Friday, which was today.

Esme had phoned again just over an hour ago, as Edward was busy licking my clit with his magic tongue. I tried to ignore the phone but it was persistent and it was distracting me. I grumbled to Edward how I couldn't wait until no one would be bothering us with daily phone calls.

I reached for the receiver, Edward slipped his fingers into my core, pumping and twisting them as his tongue continued its ministrations on my clit.

"Hello," I tried to make my tone sound polite, even though I was pissed off.

"Hello Bella; It's Esme, I didn't wake you did I?" I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate.

"Hi Esme, no you didn't wake me. What can I do for you?" I felt Edward laugh against my sex, his warm breath tickling my sensitive bud.

I closed my legs, pressing my thighs against his ears cutting off his air supply; he forced my legs apart with a gasp and glared at me. I smirked back at him, conveying with my look 'that all's fair in love and war.' He rolled his eyes at me and disappeared back between my legs.

"I just wanted to let you know that everything is set for tonight. We'll see you at six for cocktails, the guests are scheduled to arrive from seven." Edward was using his tongue and fingers in an all out assault on my sex, if I didn't know better I swear he wanted me to orgasm while on the phone to his mother.

"Sorry Esme what time did you say, six or seven?" Edward chuckled against my thigh as he gave me a chance to compose myself.

"I want you and Edward here at six and the guests will arrive at seven."

"Right, that's fine Esme, we'll see you at six and thank you again for doing this; we really appreciate all the effort you've been to." I threaded my hand through Edward's hair and guided him back to my sex.

He smirked up at me, his eyes never leaving mine as his tongue licked up my slit, swirling over my clit with a feather light touch. I frowned down at him and pushed my hips forward trying to increase the pressure of his tongue.

"Bella it was no trouble at all and it gives me a chance to meet your friends." My blood ran cold; I hoped that Esme would be gracious to my friends, since they didn't run in the same social circles as her friend's children.

"I'm sure they'll be delighted to meet you and Carlisle as well." I was really starting to wish Esme would hurry up and end this conversation or she was going to get a first hand account of the inner workings of my mind in the throws of passion.

"Thank you Bella that's very kind of you to say. Maybe new friendships will be made tonight." Esme sounded genuinely excited at the prospect of dragging my friends into her society set web.

I had to stifle a laugh, as the image of Esme as a spider with a dazzling sliver web, enticing poor unsuspecting insects(who funnily enough resembled my friends) to a doomed life of high tea, cocktails before dinner and endless games of double's tennis and croquet, flashed through my mind.

"Maybe they will Esme; we'll just have to wait and see what happens under the influence of champagne cocktails and the Jazz band you've hired."

Edward looked up at me curiously, "later," I mouthed as Esme chatted on about food and seating plans. I pushed his head back between my legs, and retuned my attention back to the conversation."

"It all sound's perfect Esme; I'm really looking forward to seeing what you've done."

"Well Bella; I really must get on and attend the last minute details, so I will see you and Edward at six p.m. sharp." Her tone implied she expected us at her place at six at the latest.

"Ok, thanks for ringing Esme and we'll see you at six."

"Goodbye Bella, and please say hello to my son for me."

"I will Esme, see you tonight." I waited until she had hung up before I threw the phone across the room, it hit the closet door and shattered on impact.

Edward pulled his face from my core and laughed loudly, "My, my, Bella; we are having a tantrum, what did my mother say that caused such a violent reaction?"

"She never said any thing; it was more a matter of timing. Actually it's probably more your timing I should be mad at. Were you trying to make me orgasm in your Mothers ear? Because you know that is extremely impolite Edward and seriously frowned upon by most sections of society."

He laughed exuberantly, "Sorry love, I know that was mean of me but I must say you handled it very well, not a moan, sigh or expletive escaped your lips. I 'm really impressed Bells and that reminds me, crushing my skull between those vice like thighs was pay back enough."

"Oh; so didn't you enjoy that? Poor baby, that will teach you for being mean to me; and from now on you can answer the bloody phone, since it's usually your mum calling."

"Fine, I'll answer the phone, for the next two weeks; if it still works, which I doubt very much that it will. It's not looking very healthy over there on the floor."

I laughed, "Let's hope it's fatally wounded, but enough chat for now; Edward you need to finish what you started."

He smirked at me and ducked back between my legs; I spread them wider and tangled my hands in his hair. It was long before he'd worked me in frenzy and I was coming around his fingers and whimpering his name.

He smiled wickedly as he brought his fingers to his lips; sucking the glistening juice from them; he offered me his hand and pulled me from the bed. I looked at him questioningly, "Bella; I want to fuck you on the dining room table, it's the perfect height."

He hurried down the hallway pulling me behind him; the sun was streaming through the windows, covering the table in a pure white light. He smiled when he saw the light spilling over the table, "the perfect back drop for you my goddess, bathed in the pure light of heaven."

He lifted me onto the edge of the table, pushing me back gently he pulled me flush to the edge and rested my legs against his chest, he teased my entrance before plunging into me, gripping my shins as he thrust, he quickly built into a frantic pace.

I felt his cock harden inside me and knew he was teetering on the edge, ours eyes locked on each other's as he let himself fall, "beautiful goddess...bathed in light… in love… my life"

I smiled widely and mouthed, "I love you, forever."

"Forever;" Edward agreed.

Neither Edward or I were quick enough to move when Alice crashed through our internal access door, she was about to call my name when she saw us, me still lying on the table with my legs on Edward's chest, "For fuck sake you two, do you ever stop? You'd put rabbits to shame with the amount of fornicating you do, if your not careful we'll be staging an intervention to force you both into rehab for sex addiction."

"Ha, ha, Alice; you're a real funny girl." I scowled at her as Edward removed my legs from his chest and muttered something about having a shower.

Alice wolf whistled as Edwards naked form flashed past her, "Fuck Edward, you really have got a beautiful body." Alice yelled to his naked ass as it disappeared down the hallway.

"Alice, stop teasing him." I chided as I got up off the table. Alice checked over my body as I stretched my arms over my head.

"Fuck Bella; look at the size of your tits, have you had implants?"

"As if Alice, but I know what you mean; they're getting bigger everyday along with my waist line, did you know that I can't fit any of my old clothes or any of the new ones crammed in my closet?"

"Hmmm; you've definitely changed shape in the four weeks you've been out of rehab. Bella, are you pregnant?" Alice's question shocked me and if I was honest, scared me. Pregnancy definitely was not in my short term plans, hell I didn't know if it was even in my long term plans.

I scrambled to compose myself, fighting the rising anxiety and tried to think about it rationally before I answered her.

"I don't think so. I haven't had a period since I got hooked on drugs, I don't know if I even can get pregnant. Not until I get my periods back at least."

"Yeah I guess you're right, maybe you should go have a check up with the Doctor."

"I'm going on Monday; we need to get medical checks before we leave for Peru." Alice followed me to my room and started rifling through my closet, taking all the clothes she loved for herself and the rest would go to Rosalie.

"Well Cinder Bella since you having nothing to wear the Ball or away on holiday we're going to spend the day shopping." She pulled out a long flowing maxi dress, "here put this on; it will do for now."

Alice didn't move from the closet when Edward returned from the shower, she threw him an outfit and commanded him to put it on. Edward knew better than to argue and headed back to the bathroom to change.

Alice laughed and called out to Edward's retreating back, "Why are you hiding in the bathroom Edward? I saw you naked not ten minutes ago. I think it's a bit late for modesty now. By the way I'm taking Cinder Bella shopping today, we'll be back in time for me to choose your outfit and tomorrow I'm taking you shopping for clothes."

Edward entered the room fully clothed, droplets of water glistened in his bronzed hair, "That's very nice of you Alice, though I can't really see the need for another shopping trip on my behalf; you brought me a lifetime supply of clothes only last month."

"A life time supply, you're so silly Edward, that's only like half a seasons worth." Edward shook his head in disbelief and I laughed.

"Ok Alice; me and you shopping tomorrow; it's a date."

Alice's face split into a wide smile, "Yay, thank you Edward."

"You're welcome Pixie, so how about I make you a coffee while Bella showers." She followed Edward from the room; I could hear her laughing all the way down the hall and wondered what was so funny.

I was just pulling a brush through my unruly hair when my cell phone rung, I smiled when I saw Jess's number flash up on the caller ID.

"Hey Jess; how are you?"

"Hi Bells, I'm really good. I just rung to let you know I'm really looking forward to the party tonight."

"I'm glad Jess; I can't wait to catch up with you, it will be nice to have some familiar faces there. I'm nervous about meeting the society girls."

Jess laughed; "I know what you mean Bells; my parents love all that high society bullshit too."

"I'm happy to know you can relate to my pain Jess." We both laughed loudly and said our goodbyes. I checked my reflection in the mirror before going to find Edward and Alice. I found them in the kitchen, Alice was just finishing her last mouthful of coffee.

I kissed Edwards cheek before Alice could pull me to the door, she was always impatient to go shopping.

I spent the next four hours trying on several shop full's worth of clothes without any enthusiasm, it wasn't until we arrived at a shop known as Down Under Designs that my interest was finally sparked. The shop was full of unique designs by New Zealand designer's such as Karen Walker, Nom D*, Trelise Cooper, World and Zambesi. There were also Designs from Australian Designers, Collette Dinnigan, Sass & Bide and Alannah Hill.

I happily tried on all the garments Alice brought my way, when I slipped on a violet coloured crushed silk dress by World designers Denise L'Estrange-Corbet and Francis Hooper; I knew I had found the perfect dress for tonight's party. I walked out of the dressing room to let Alice cast her appraising eye over my choice.

I smiled when she looked at me from every angle before declaring, "A perfect choice Bella, the colour set's off your hair colour perfectly. You were right about not being able to fit any of your clothes; you've gone up like two dress sizes."

I looked at her in shock, "two dress sizes, fuck that's in like a month. Alice; I'm vowing to you right now, I'm giving up apricot Danishes for good, before I turn into one."

Alice snorted, "Yeah right Bella; that's one addiction you'll never beat, you've loved apricot Danishes since you were a kid. It is funny though, you would think with all the sex you and Edward have, you would have burned off all those extra calories. Maybe you need to participate more Bells; instead of lying back and enjoying the ride."

"Fuck you; I thought you'd caged that demon when you got home from Switzerland."

Alice's bell like laughter rung through the room, "Bella you should know well enough by now that the demon can never be tamed; only subdued for brief periods."

I couldn't help but laugh too, she was exactly right. I went back to the dressing room to change and sort through the massive pile of clothes hanging on their hangers, separating the ones I wanted from the rest. Just as we were leaving the shop, Alice got a call from Rose inviting us to the salon for some pampering before the big night.

Two hours later the three of us left the salon together, skin glowing and nails glistening; mine with violet polish, Rose and Alice opting for the French look. We laughed and chatted the whole way home. It had actually been a really good day and I was feeling pretty relaxed when we finally made it back to our apartments.

Edward was sitting on the couch with his guitar, strumming the last few cords of John Mayer's 'Your Body Is a Wonderland'. I smiled at the memory the song evoked; the day we made love after being apart for so long.

He turned to me and smiled radiantly; he was obviously caught up in the same memory I was. He stood up, placing his guitar on the couch he made his way over to me, sweeping me into his arms he kissed me softly at first before deepening the kiss. I could feel the sense of urgency as his lips moved against mine. His hands slid down to cup my ass cheeks, he squeezed them gently.

I would have happily melted into the kiss and let it take its natural progression; ending in mind-blowing orgasms for both Edward and I; but Rose's loud throat clearing brought me back to my senses.

"Bloody hell you two; I've never met a pair who can't be in the same room for more than a minute before it descends into something resembling a scene from a porn movie." Alice and Edward laughed, I scowled and flipped her a perfectly manicured finger.

"Hi Rose," Edward chuckled as he walked forward and placed a kiss on her cheek.

She pulled him into her embrace and kissed him demandingly on the mouth; he responded briefly, I laughed when he broke the kiss, a startled look on his face. "Thanks for the enthusiastic hello; Rose."

"That's ok Edward; I'm glad to see you're finally learning to relax and enjoy it; it's so much more satisfying when you respond." I laughed along with Alice and Rose and after a moment Edward joined in.

"Ok enough with the fun; Edward come with me, we're going to the closet to find you an outfit." Alice seized his arm and pulled him from the room.

By the time Alice and Rose finally left to get ready we didn't even have time for a quick fuck, Edward laughed when I grumbled about my sister's wasting my valuable time.

I had only just managed to get myself into some of the new lingerie I'd brought when Alice and Rose returned fully dressed and made up, "How do you two do that?" I asked in awe.

"It's easy Bells if you concentrate on the task at hand. Your problem is you're too easily distracted by Edward, if you kept your mind out of the gutter you'd fare much better."

"Yeah, yeah, enough about my sex life already; Can you just help me."

Alice slipped my dress over my head, fussing around making sure it sat just right. Rose then forced me to the bathroom where she styled my hair into a mass of fiery ringlets, while Alice applied my make up.

They stepped back to admire their handy work, I grimaced when I recognised the unsatisfied look on Alice's face. "Bella, it's just not quite done, it needs a…" She sped from the room without another word, returning a few minutes later holding a thin diamond necklace with a deep purple amethyst crystal surrounded by five larger diamonds fashioned into the shape of a flower.

She slipped it around my forehead, positioning the flower at the centre before fastening it amongst my curls, "Now you're perfect, no Cinder Bella can go to the ball without her diamonds." Rose and I laughed and followed her from her from the room.

Both Edward and Jasper's eyes popped open when they saw me and Emmett let out a wolf whistle. I rolled my eyes and moved to Edward's side.

"Bella; just when I think you can't possibly improve on your perfection, you once again show me that you actually grow more mind blowingly beautiful every day." Edward brought our entwined hand to his lips, kissing my hand softly.

"Thank you baby, but I've told you before; you're the beautiful one." I kissed his cheek and laughed when I heard Emmett making retching noises behind me.

I turned to scold him but the sight of Jasper's scowl sidetracked me. I watched as he downed his cocktail, pour himself another and down that in one as well. Before I could do more than register how strange it was to see Jasper drinking like that, the limo arrived to take us to the party.

Jasper drank the entire limo ride, not speaking but frequently shooting me covert glances, I was glad when we finally arrived at Carlisle and Esme's.

Carlisle beamed when he saw me, "Bella how lovely to see you again and may I say you look Beautiful tonight." He took my hand in his and brought it to his lips, brushing them gently across my skin.

I blushed slightly, causing Edward's eyes to brighten at the sight.

"It's very nice to see you again Carlisle and thank you so much for doing this for us."

"It's our pleasure Bella." He turned to Edward and gave him a one armed hug, "it's good to see you Edward."

"Good to see you too Dad." Carlisle let go of Edward and moved to say hi to Rose and Alice. Edward led me inside where Esme was busy preparing cocktails.

"Bella, Edward, I'm so happy you're here." She removed her apron and came forward to hug me tightly, "You look beautiful Bella, that colour is stunning on you."

"Thank you Esme." She released me from her embrace and moved to kiss Edward's cheek and hug him close.

"Hi Mum, how are you?" Esme pulled back to look Edward in the eyes, her own eyes sparkled with unshed tears.

"I'm very well Son, apart from the fact that I'm going to miss you so much." A tear slid down her cheek, and I instantly felt guilty that I was the reason she wouldn't be in contact with her son for long periods of time.

"Don't cry Mum, we're not going to be gone forever, besides we expect you and Dad to come and visit us in a country that takes your fancy." Edward wiped away her tear with his fingertip.

"I know I'm sorry dear; I promised myself I wouldn't do this and then as soon as you're in the door here I am blubbering away."

Carlisle and the other's saved us from a response when they filed into the kitchen, "Esme you're not crying already are you?" Carlisle teased as he put his arm around his wife.

"No I'm not." Esme responded though everyone knew she was lying.

"Come on Mum no tears; this is a party." Emmett chided, swinging his Mother into his arms and lifting her from the ground in a massive bear hug.

I noticed Jasper didn't say hello to his Mum; instead he headed straight for the cocktails pouring himself two glasses and drinking them stealthy. I noticed he was getting a little glassy eyed already. Esme noticed him in the kitchen and hurried to his side.

"He flashed her a smile, kissed her cheek and murmured, "It's good to see you Mum."

Esme looked at him with concern for a moment before putting a warm smile on her face, "It's lovely to see you too my son." She patted his arm before serving both alcoholic and non-alcoholic cocktails. I noted with genuine surprise that neither Rose nor Alice opted for the ones containing alcohol.

The guests started arriving soon after and I stood alongside Edward, Carlisle and Esme to meet and greet their many friends and ours as well. I excused myself when Jess arrived, after hugging her tightly I took her hand and led her to an empty table.

She looked beautiful in her tangerine coloured cocktail dress and she smiled brightly when I complimented her on it.

"Bella you're the one who looks stunning, you look like you've just stepped off the cover of vogue."

I laughed lightly, "Yeah I think that was the look Alice was going for." I grabbed a couple of non-alcoholic cocktails for Jess and I, listening intently as she told me what she had been doing since she left rehab.

I was so engrossed in our conversation that I didn't immediately register Edward and Mike approach the table until Edward's hand came to rest on my shoulder.

I smiled at him and then noticed Mike, who was staring at Jessica intently, I hurried to introduce them, "Hi Mike it's good to see you, I'd like you meet a friend of mine, this is Jessica; Jessica this is Mike, he's an old college buddy of mine and he runs an art gallery with Edward."

Mike took Jessica's hand, his eyes never leaving hers as he kissed it, Jess smiled shyly, "it's nice to meet you Mike."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Jessica." He sat down next to her and engaged her in conversation. They sat there engrossed in their conversation and they never even registered that Edward and I had left the table to mingle with our guests.

As we chatted to some of Carlisle and Esme's friends I glanced toward the door and saw Jake standing there with a couple of his friends, looking very unsure of themselves. I excused myself politely and made my way over to them. I could feel Edward's gaze burning into me as I reached Jake's side.

He hugged me tightly and introduced me to his friends, Quil and Embry, who both shook my hand. I led them into the party grabbing drinks for them from a passing waiter; we found an empty table and sat down.

Jake immediately engaged me in conversation, we laughed, and chatted easily, I looked up to see Edward heading for our table, his eyes were perceptibly darker and I shot him a warning glance.

Jacob grimaced slightly as Edward took a seat next to me, his arm encircling my waist territorially; I stepped on his foot lightly to reinforce my warning.

"Jake, Quil and Embry; this is Edward, Edward this is my friend Jake and his friends Quil and Embry

Jake smiled and took Edward's out stretched hand, "it's nice to meet you Jake."

"And you Edward." Jake's voice was a bit stiff but Edward didn't seem to notice, he dropped Jakes hand and shook hands with Embry and Quil.

We chatted civilly for a few minutes before Edward excused us and led me to the dance floor, he seemed a little sulky but I decided not to press the issue, I knew Jake's presence was bothering him; but I was not going to apologise to him for having Jake as a friend.

I didn't want to let Edward go when Jasper came over to cut in on our dance, he was intoxicated and I had no idea how he was going to react to holding me so intimately. Edward relinquished his grip on me with a smile to his brother; obviously he was none the wiser to what had been going on since I got home from rehab.

Jasper put his arms around me and pulled me closer to his body; his warm breath tickled my ear, "I'm going to miss you Bella," I felt my body stiffen slightly.

I tried to keep my voice light and friendly, "I'm gonna miss you too Jaz, I want you to promise me you'll look after Alice; don't let her go off the rails too often, one junkie in the families enough."

"Your not a junkie Bells, I wish you wouldn't put yourself down like that, if only you could see yourself as other's see you, as I see you." I was about to respond but my voice caught in my throat when Jasper's hand slid down my back and over my ass. He squeezed my cheeks firmly before moving his hand back up to the small of my back.

I looked around in panic, no one seemed to notice Jasper's hand, but I was searching the crowd for the one person I knew would notice. When our eyes finally met I winced, if I thought he was looking sulky about Jake he was now looking positively thunderous at Jasper.

As soon as the song ended I disentangled myself from jasper's arms and made my way to Edward's side, I brought my lips to his, kissing him softly. He responded forcefully, kissing me back until I was breathless. Alarm bells began to ring in my head, I needed to be very careful for the rest of the night; I could see Edward's possessive side struggling to take control.

There was no way I was going to do anything to set him off, if I could help it, so I stayed by his side for the rest of the night. I was grateful when the last guests finally left just after one a.m.. I was completely exhausted and I was desperate to get to bed. We were staying at Esme and Carlisle along with Emmett, Rose, Alice and Jasper.

Jasper was drunker than I had ever seen him, even during those crazy nights in Switzerland he had never been this intoxicated before. He stayed up alone when the rest of retired to bed. Edward was subdued as we climbed into bed, he didn't say much, he pulled me close to his body and kissed me goodnight.

It felt like I'd only been asleep a few minutes when I woke in cold sweat, I scrambled to the side of the bed, as my feet touched the floor my stomach lurched. I made it to the bathroom down the hallway before I was violently ill; I retched a few times before I felt well enough to stand up.

I rinsed my mouth with toothpaste and water before splashing some on my overheated face, I stood still for a minute trying ascertain how I felt, even though I'd just been violently ill I felt hungry.

I decided to head down stairs to get a glass of water and a snack from the kitchen, the lights were still on but I couldn't hear anything, I assumed Jasper had gone to bed. He was sitting at the kitchen table when I entered, his head resting on his forearm, I wondered if he was asleep but his head snapped up when he heard my footsteps.

"How's it going Bella?" He stood up as I passed him on my way to the sink, I could feel him standing close behind me and my breathing hitched.

I turned to face him and he pressed himself into me so I was pinned against the sink.

I froze in panic as he brought hand up to cup my cheek caressing it softly he whispered, "Bella I have to tell you something, a secret." I didn't know what to say so I just stared into his deep blue eyes and waited for him to tell me,"I think I'm in love with you Bella, I know its wrong; but I can't stop thinking about the way you make me tingle when we touch. I know you feel it too.

He brought his mouth to mine in a soft but demanding kiss, my brain went into shock. My lips tingled and automatically moved against his. I don't know how long we'd been kissing, it could have been seconds or minutes, I was distracted by how soft his tongue was as it caressed mine and how his kiss conveyed the longing he felt.

I was brought back to my senses when I heard a growl that made my blood turn to ice, "WHAT THE FUCK?" Edward exploded, I cried out as he pulled Jasper off me.

They stumbled back into the table, Edward was about to attack him, when I threw my arms around him to prevent him punching Jasper. "Edward please don't, he's your brother and you're in your parent's house. He's drunk Edward he thought I was Alice. Please Edward it was just an innocent mistake." I lied, hoping it would help him see reason.

He struggled against me throwing my arms off him, his hands travelled to Jaspers throat.

I pulled at Edwards arm, trying to losen his grip on Jasper, "Please don't do this Edward, if you hurt Jasper your going to break your parents hearts. Please Edward he's your brother."

Edward's eyes were blazing, like green fire; dangerous, murderous, but his hands loosened their grip around Jasper's throat. I breathed a sigh of relief, "Edward we need to get him onto the couch, I've never seen him this drunk before."

Edward let out a deep sigh that sounded more like a hiss, removed his hands from Jasper's throat, and helped him to his feet. He helped him on to the couch and covered him with a blanket; Jasper looked up into Edward's blazing eyes and mumbled, "I'm sorry Edward."

Edward said nothing. I was frozen in the doorway; praying no one had been woken by the noise, the last thing I needed was Carlisle, Esme or worse Alice to come and investigate what all the commotion was about.

I waited with growing trepidation for Edward to say something to me, I knew him well enough to know what was coming next.

He turned his gaze on me and his eyes flashed black in the light, "Let's go back to bed Bella." His voice was low, husky and deadly.

He swiftly moved to my side; his hand wrapping around my wrist like a vice, I didn't protest as he led me back to our room and closed the door behind us.

I felt an involuntary shiver of fear wash over me as Edward pounced, his lips were rough and unyielding as they crushed down on mine he pushed his body into mine making his intentions clear.

He pulled away from me his eyes blazing, "strip for me right now Bella and get on the bed." I stripped in silence and went to lie on the bed.

He took his boxers off and climbed on top of me, his hard cock pressed into my stomach; his lips travelled straight to his mark, licking over the scar he hissed, "Mine."

He pushed my legs apart roughly with his knee and positioned himself at my entrance; His hands held my wrists above my head in his vice like grip. I waited for him to plunge himself inside me but he pulled his face from my neck and looked me in the eyes, I don't know what he saw there but he seemed to come back to his senses.

He rolled off me and turned his back on me, we lay in silence for the longest time, I wasn't sure if I should speak.

After what seemed like hours he finally spoke, "Bella I'm sorry if I hurt you, I didn't mean to hold your wrists so tight."

"You didn't hurt me. I'm sorry if I hurt you."

"Why were you and Jasper kissing?" His question came out in a choked whisper of pain that was like a dagger to my heart.

"I told you, he honestly thought I was Alice; you saw how drunk he was. Surely you can see it was an honest mistake; it wouldn't be hard to confuse me with Alice since we are identical. Truly Edward it was nothing. This is your brother we're talking about." There was no way I was going to admit the truth and tear his and my family apart, not to mention our relationship.

"It didn't look like you were trying very hard to convince him you weren't Alice." I couldn't stop the look of pain that shot across my face. He was not going to be easily appeased.

Anger was coming to my defence now, "What are you implying Edward? That I went to the kitchen to trick your brother so I could get into his pants. Do you honestly think that Jasper or I would intentionally set out to hurt you and Alice? You know how close we all are, it makes me mad when you react like this. I don't do it when Rose kisses you."

"Bella; Rose and I have only ever kissed in front of you. Have you ever kissed Emmett or Jasper like that when you've been alone with them?"

"No of course not, have you kissed my sisters when you've been alone with them?"

"No I would never do that, I have no desire for your sisters Bella, I've only ever wanted you."

"And I've repeatedly told you; I want no one but you, I just wish you would believe that. I don't understand why you're so upset; he's your brother Edward, your blood, your family. If you can't trust them; who can you trust?"

I knew I was getting in deeper; as I continued to lie to Edward but there was too much at stake to admit that Jasper harboured more than sisterly love for me. I watched Edward as he thought over my words.

"You're right Bella; I should trust you and my brothers more. I know you would never intentionally hurt me or your sisters. I'm sorry I over reacted Bella, I just can't control my possessive side when I feel threatened."

Relieved tears spilled from my eyes, I nodded my head in acknowledgement of his apology but I felt the guilt start to gnaw at my insides. He wiped my tears away with his fingertips, "don't cry love, I'm sorry I hurt you. I promise to trust you and never make you cry again."

As I went to roll toward him my stomach lurched and I had to fight back the bile as I scrambled out of bed, I only just made it to the bathroom when I was violently ill again. Edward held back my hair, I tried to push him away but I was struck by a wave of light-headedness and I found myself gripping onto him to keep my balance.

"Bella are you alright?" His voice was frantic with concern.

I struggled to find my voice, "yes I'm fine Edward. I was sick earlier, that's why I was in the kitchen; I went to get a glass of water."

"Why didn't you wake me love?"

"It all happened so suddenly just like now, and well for obvious reasons I'd forgotten until now that I had already been sick."

"Do you want me to wake Carlisle? He can check you over." Edward helped me to my feet, his eyes still full of worry.

"No I don't need Carlisle, I really just need to go back to bed; I'm exhausted." I brushed my teeth while Edward waited, he watched me pensively as I splashed my face with cold water.

He helped me into bed, making sure I was comfortable before climbing in next to me; I snuggled into his embrace and closed my eyes.

He held me close and kissed the top of my head, "good night my love; my life, sleep my Bella; dream happy dreams."

"I love you Edward."

"Forever Bella;"

Sleep didn't take me even though I was exhausted. I played the scene with Jasper over in my mind. I needed to talk him as soon as possible and sort this out before it got any more out of hand. The trouble was how I was going to get him alone; Edward was bound to be watching us closely from now on.

I drifted off into an uneasy sleep.

**A/N: Don't Judge Jasper too harshly he's just confused... And Bella, you know she'll say what ever it takes:) Please review, I hate not knowing how you feel about the story...**


	37. Chapter 37 Forgive and Forget

**A/N: Thank you to those of you have reviewed. I feel your frustration about the is she pregnant story line. I feel frustrated everyday when I check my reviews to find I don't get very many.... I hope you enjoy this chapter:)**

**DISCLAIMER: S Meyer owns Twilight I own triplets....**

**CHAPTER** **37: FORGIVE AND FORGET…**

I awoke early; my head felt heavy and my throat was dry. I looked over at Edwards sleeping form and images of last night flashed across my mind. I couldn't believe what a lucky escape both Jasper and I had last night.

Though Edward's possessiveness drove me crazy there was no question he was fundamental to my survival and I wouldn't allow anything to come between us.

I became aware of a dull ache in my wrists and pulled my arms out from under the covers and groaned. My creamy white skin was marked by a set of deep purple bruises left by Edwards vice like fingers.

I slithered out of bed trying not to wake Edward and quickly headed for the shower, taking a long sleeved shirt and sweater with me; I let the hot water relax my frigid muscles and quickly washed my hair, body and teeth.

I was dressed and back in our room just as Edward woke, he looked at me in surprise when he saw me showered and dressed already, "Bella are you alright love?"

"Yeah I'm alright, I was sick again and I got it in my hair." I smiled trying to reassure him that I was ok.

"Bella I think you should let Carlisle check you over."

"Edward I'm fine, it's just a stomach bug, I've got an appointment with the doctor on Monday anyway, if it's not better by then I'll mention it to her." Edward seemed mollified and nodded his head.

I went to lie with him on the bed; snuggling into his arms I cleared my throat.

"Edward…about last night, I want you to promise me that you're going to let this go and not let it drive a wedge between you and Jasper. And I never want Alice to know about this, there is no need for a whole lot of unnecessary drama considering we're leaving for Peru in a week's time. I want us to leave on good terms with everyone. So can you please just forgive and forget it happened."

Edward looked into my pleading eyes and nodded, "of course my love, you have nothing to worry about."

I shifted my position so I could reach up to kiss him, his eyes darkened and narrowed when the little whimper of pain escaped my lips.

I tried to distract him with a kiss but he leaned away from me, his eyes burning into mine, "Bella how badly are you hurt?" he demanded, his eyes held mine as he waited for an answer.

"I'm not hurt." I looked him in the eye and knew he saw straight through the lie. He was so quick I didn't even have time to react when he tugged up my sleeves.

His eyes widened and a low growl hissed through his clenched teeth as he examined the deep purple marks on my wrists. I dropped my eyes from his and tried to control the violent tremors rocking through my body as I waited for the explosion.

When he finally spoke, his voice was barely a whisper, "Bella; why do you keep covering up for me when I hurt you? I can see the obvious pain you're in, we both know I'm the cause of that pain but you sit here and deny that I've hurt you. You can't keep fobbing off the fact that I'm physically abusing you Bella."

I kept my eyes down cast and fought against the sobs trying to escape my throat, I could feel Edwards gaze burning into me as he waited for me to speak.

I decided on the truth, I had lied enough to him for one lifetime, "Because I don't want you to leave me, you don't realise how fundamental you are to my survival Edward, you left me once because you hurt me and I'm scared that you'll leave again if you think that's what's best for me."

He tilted my head up with his finger, he held my gaze as hot tears spilled down my cheeks.

"Bella; I promised you and I stand by that promise I will never leave you again. But you cannot allow me to hurt you anymore love. I want you to promise me that you will speak up if I'm being too rough with you. Do you understand?"

"Yes." I whispered.

"Do you promise; that you will speak up and fight back if I'm hurting you?"

"Yes."

"Thank you Bella; I suppose I better go and have a shower before breakfast." He kissed me gently, his lips softly brushing mine.

When we arrived in the kitchen it was empty but we could hear voices floating through the open patio doors, we followed the sound of the voices and found our family eating breakfast by the pool.

I snuck a covert look at Jasper who kept his eyes firmly on his plate; I was pleased to see he was cuddled up next to Alice. I squeezed Edwards hand as we joined the others at the table.

I sat down next to Edward, my nerves were teetering on a knife's edge, I knew Edward wasn't going to react but I had no idea what frame of mind Jasper was in. To my immense relief Jasper acted as civilly as Edward, though their brief interactions were quite formal no one seemed to notice the tension between them.

I did however notice Rose watching me pensively from across the table; I gave her a small smile and returned to my breakfast. I leaned into Edward and asked him if he'd find me some cinnamon to sprinkle on my food. He chuckled quietly as he stood up from the table.

When he returned with the cinnamon, he watched in amusement as I sprinkled it on my fresh fruit salad, peanut butter toast and put a large spoonful in my coffee.

"Bella how can you put cinnamon on your peanut butter toast love, doesn't it taste nasty?"

"Actually it's yum." I frowned at myself when I realised that cinnamon was starting to taste good on everything.

After breakfast Alice reminded Edward they had a date today, Edward looked at me and I could tell by the look on his face he didn't want to leave me alone. I gave him an encouraging smile and he sighed deeply.

I leaned in to whisper in his ear, "go shopping with Alice, I'll be ok here, Rose and Emmett are staying all day, I'll just hang out with them." He looked slightly happier when he leaned into kiss me goodbye.

"I'll be back as soon as I can, ring me if you need anything and try and get some more sleep ok, you look really tired."

"I will, I promise." I gave him one more kiss and let Alice drag him away.

Rose and Emmett left the table and headed for the pool, I stifled a laugh when Emmett swept her up into his arms and jumped into the crystal clear water. I got a little nervous when Carlisle and Esme drifted off into the house, leaving me alone at the table with Jasper.

He looked up when he realised we were alone, his blue eyes searching mine. His eyes were full of remorse, confusion and love, my heart ached to see him in pain but I knew I couldn't comfort him.

"Bella will you come for a walk in the garden with me, I really need to talk to you about last night. I promise to keep my distance, I just really need to talk."

"Sure Jaz, let's go." He gave me a small smile as he rose from his chair. I joined him at the end of the patio and we set off for a walk through Esme's perfectly manicured garden.

I waited for Jaz to say something but he was silent as we walked amongst the daisies, when we were out of sight of the house he finally spoke.

"I'm really sorry about last night Bella, Edward didn't hurt you did he?"

"No, he didn't hurt me, but Jaz I really need to know, what's going on with you?"

"I don't really know Bells, I'm really confused."

"Don't you love Alice any more?" I didn't know if I really wanted him to answer that, I knew Alice would be devastated if Jasper broke up with her.

"I do Bella; I love Alice with every inch of my being. I'm just confused because I don't feel that same spark when I touch her, you know that spark I feel with you. I don't know what that means, I don't know if Alice and I are lacking something or if it's just a freak thing between you and me."

"Jaz; you and Alice are perfect for each other. Is that spark so important, that it overshadows everything else about your relationship?" He thought about my question for a long moment before he finally answered.

"No. I guess when you put it like that, everything else I have with Alice is more important."

"That's right Jaz, you need to think about all the things your relationship gives you, not what you think it's lacking. Alice loves you with every inch of her being. She'd do anything for you and she deserves to be treated better than this. You need to realise how lucky you are Jaz, some people go through this life not having anyone to love or anyone who loves them. You need to treasure and nurture what you have Jasper."

"You're right Bella, I'm so sorry I put you through this."

"I'm just glad we sorted this out before it got to out of hand and tore our families apart. And Jaz, I told Edward that you mistook me for Alice and he's accepted that. He's also promised not to say anything to Alice and I'd like the same promise from you. Alice and Rose are the most important people in my life and I will do anything to protect them. I know Alice would be devastated if she ever found about this. Do you promise Jasper, that you will keep this between us?"

"I promise Bells and thanks so much for not freaking out on me."

"You're welcome Jaz, and can you please talk to Edward. I don't want anything to come between you two."

"Of course Bells." I smiled as he passed me a daisy, I tucked into the hair above my ear and we walked quickly back to the house. Jaz retreated to his room and I went to find Esme.

I spent the rest of the day talking to Esme, Jaz stayed in his room until Edward and Alice arrived home from their date. Alice bounced into the kitchen like an energiser bunny talking ninety to the dozen to a much frazzled looking Edward. I couldn't help but laugh at the exasperated look he had on his face.

The second Alice stopped speaking Edward darted from her side and straight into my embrace, he nuzzled his face into my neck and sighed deeply. I threaded my hands in his hair and whispered, "I'm glad you survived and that you now know why I whinge Everytime I have to go shopping with her. I hope this means that you'll do more to help me worm my way out of them in future."

"I promise. No one should have to be subjected to that…except Emmett…" I laughed and knew instinctively that Edward was going to make sure the demon pixie put Emmett through the same torture he'd just endured.

When we finally made it back to our apartment about ten o'clock that night I was so tired Edward had to help me to bed, I don't even remember falling asleep.

When I woke, my body was aching and I felt nauseous. I groaned into my pillow as I tried to fight the rising bile in my throat, I bolted out of bed with my hand clamped firmly over my mouth I made to the bathroom sink before the torrent arrived.

"Bella love; are you alright?" Edward's concerned voice came from behind me; he rubbed my back as I flushed out the sink and brushed my teeth.

I looked in the mirror and noticed how pale I was, my skin was almost translucent. I saw Edward's concerned face reflected in the mirror.

"Yeah I think so; it's just a stomach bug."

"Hmmm well I'm taking you to the Doctor, I want you to have a check up."

"Edward I'm going to my Doctor tomorrow."

"Well I'm going to ring and change it for today, so get yourself in the shower and I'll go ring the Doc."

Edward held my hand as we sat in the waiting room. I was slightly annoyed about being here, since I felt fine now but if it would put Edward's mind at ease I'd suffer through it.

I smiled at Doctor Vincent as she emerged from her office, "Isabella, would you like to follow me?" I stood up at the same time as Edward; he kept a firm grip on my hand as we followed the Dr into her office.

Edward let go of my hand as we took our seats opposite Doctor Vincent.

"So Bella; the nurse tells me you've been unwell for the last few days."

"Yes; I've been vomiting off and on for the last few days and I feel exhausted all the time."

"I see, well I will give you an examination and take some blood and urine samples and see if we can't find what the cause is. Would you please hop up on the bed Bella and we'll get started.

Dr Vincent pulled up my top and pressed on certain parts of stomach lightly and asked if it hurt. I was a little surprised when she asked me when I'd last had a menstrual cycle.

"I'm not really sure not for the last nine or ten months. I haven't had a period since I got addicted to drugs."

She pulled my top back over my stomach, "Bella I'd like to take a urine and blood sample." She buzzed for a nurse who entered the room quietly and went to listen to Dr Vincent's instructions.

Edward waited in the Doctor's office as I went to provide my samples. I passed the cup to the nurse and went back to wait with Edward.

The nurse knocked and entered the office, she was carrying a sheet of paper which she handed to Dr Vincent before turning and leaving. Doctor Vincent looked over the paper before looking up at me.

"Well Bella; I think we've located the source of the vomiting, your test results have confirmed that you are pregnant."

I looked at her in shock, I was speechless, my brain shut down and I started to shake; my eyes travelled to where Edward was sitting with the same stunned expression on his face.

"I can see that this has come as a big shock to the both of you, so I think its best if you go home and let it sink in, I'll make another appointment for you tomorrow Bella, we'll do an ultrasound and see if we can determine how far along you are and discuss your options."

Edward's eyes sought mine as he registered what the Doctor had said about options.

It goaded me into speech, "That sounds like a good idea Doctor Vincent, thank you and I will see you tomorrow." I stood up and Edward did the same.

Neither of us said anything on the ride home, I just stared out the window trying to wrap my head around the fact that a baby was growing inside me, Edward's baby. We still never spoke as we made our way into our apartment, I headed straight for the bedroom, Edward; headed for the balcony.

I lay on the bed, my mind swirling in confusion, the fact that Edward hadn't said anything made me feel more confused. Was he happy, sad, angry? I had no idea how he was feeling or if he wanted to have this baby. For that matter I didn't know if I did either.

I wasn't sure if I could cope with motherhood, especially at this point in my life. I had never even thought about having children and the thought of one growing inside me had me scared to death, and what about Edward? He had to have a choice in this.

I wasn't sure what would happen if Edward decided he didn't want to have a child with a recovering drug addict, or if he decided he did and I didn't, what would that do to our relationship?

I stared at the ceiling and tried to find a rational point in which to try and organise the chaos of my thoughts; the only thing I was sure of, was my love and commitment to Edward. I lay there not even aware of the gathering darkness in the room; it was the gentle knock on the bedroom door brought me back to my surroundings.

"Bella; can I come in please love?" I decided in that second to wait and hear how Edward felt about impending fatherhood before I said anything about how I felt.

"Yes of course you can." My voice sounded strange in my ears and I knew Edward would notice it too.

As soon as he opened the door and turned on the light, I was staring at his face, searching for any sign to how he was feeling, he looked directly at me, my favourite smile playing upon his lips. "Are you alright love, are you ready to talk?"

"Yes, are you?"

"Yes."

I gave him a small smile as he joined me on the bed, pulling me into his arms, "You first," I mumbled into his chest.

"Bella; obviously I don't know how you feel about the fact we are having a child, but I'm ecstatic love, this is the best news ever, I really want to have this baby with you and create a family, but I want you to know that I'll support you what ever you decide. I need to know how you feel about this Bella."

I pulled my face from his chest and looked into his beautiful green eyes, I could see the love there but I could also see the pain, "to be honest Edward I don't know how I feel about this, I don't know if I'm ready for motherhood especially after what I've just been through."

"Do you not want to keep the baby? I want you to answer me honestly Bella." I could hear the pain as clear as day in his voice and it intensified in his eyes and my decision was made.

I owed Edward everything, every kind of happiness I could give him in this life. He'd stuck by me through my darkest hour and he loved me unconditionally. Who was I to deny him the gift of fatherhood when he'd given me so much?

I pushed my fears aside and let a smile spread over my lips, "yes Edward I do want this child, our child. I want to create a family with you. I'm just afraid."

The smile that broke over his face was more beautiful than I'd ever seen before, it uplifted him and I could feel the happiness radiating from him like pure light.

"Thank you Bella; this is the greatest gift you could ever give me. You have nothing to be afraid of love; you will be an excellent mother, and I wouldn't want to have a child with anyone but you."

He kissed my forehead then my lips; he lifted my shirt and placed a row of kisses across my stomach, pausing to say, "Hello baby, this is your daddy."

A surge of warmth washed over me at Edward's words and my heart swelled. We were going to be a family; I was going to be the mother of Edward's child.

I repeatedly said the words in my head 'you're going to be a mother' hoping they would finally sink in. I was still petrified by the idea but Edward's happiness was worth any fears I might have.

"Bella love; how about I go and make us some dinner and then we'll come back to bed," He kissed me on my stomach and lips then helped me off the bed, he held my hand as we made our way to the kitchen and helped me into the chair.

I watched him throw together a salad, I laughed when I heard him muttering about five plus vegetables a day as he searched for every edible raw vegetable in the fridge. He threw a piece of steak on the grill, whispering about extra iron in my diet.

"Edward I think you're in the wrong profession, you sound like you should have been a Doctor like your Dad." I giggled at the serious look he gave me.

"Actually Bella; with the prospect of impending fatherhood I really wish I had followed my dad into medicine." I couldn't believe it when I realised Edward was serious.

"But you said medicine didn't interest you."

"Yeah well I didn't have a family to protect before did I?" I knew in that instant what an absolutely incredible father Edward was going to make and I felt my fear's about motherhood leave me.

I knew that whatever challenges motherhood threw at me I could rise to meet them with Edward by my side.

I woke to another severe bout of morning sickness which left me weak and feeling dehydrated; Edward held my hair out of my face then put paste on my toothbrush.

I took it with a pout, "I'll be glad when this morning sickness phase passes I'm over it already."

"Hang in there love; it's not supposed to last more than the first trimester."

I looked at Edward in surprise, "how do you know that?"

He smiled at me sheepishly, "I googled a few things yesterday after we got home from the Doctor's office."

"Edward have I told you lately how much I love you and how blessed I feel knowing you're going to be the father of my baby."

"Thank you love; But I'm the blessed one." His lips brushed gently over mine then slipped to his knees.

Lifting my shirt he placed feather light kisses over my stomach, leaving my skin tingling from his touch. I giggled as he murmured, "be nice to your mummy, little one she's as precious as you are."

We arrived at the Doctor's office with moments to spare, we had only just sat down in the waiting room when Doctor Vincent appeared and ushered us into her office.

"So Bella, I trust the shocks worn off a little." Doctor Vincent smiled kindly at me and then Edward.

"Yes the shocks worn off Doctor, I'm sorry about yesterday it was the last thing either of us was expecting to hear."

"It's quite understandable Bella. So we need to establish how far along you are in your pregnancy, so we'll do an ultra scan, but first I'd like to listen for the baby's heartbeat. So I'll get you to take off your shirt and pop up on the bed.

I did what she asked; Edward came to stand by the bed but kept out of the way. Dr Vincent placed the portable monitor on my stomach moving it around until she found what she was looking for.

Edward's eyes met mine and they sparkled with the depth of his emotion as we heard the strong thrumming of our baby's heart. Dr Vincent adjusted the monitor a few times and after a few seconds of silence the thrumming was back.

She removed the monitor, "ok Bella that sounds all good, we'll just have a look now and see if we can determine how far along you are in your pregnancy."

I nodded my head but my eyes never left Edward's, I knew the awe I saw in his face was reflected in my own. I gasped a little as the cold sonar gel was applied to my stomach, I relaxed as it warmed and watched the little TV. monitor as Dr Vincent ran the prong along my stomach.

I could see the little shape of my baby and my heart swelled, I was mesmerised by the image on the screen and wasn't really paying attention to what the doctor said next.

"There are your babies Bella; everything look's normal, we'll just take some measurements and…"

"Excuse me Doctor, but did you just say babies as in the plural?" Edward was looking intently at Doctor Vincent.

"Yes I did Edward, Bella is having triplets." l

"Triplets," I whispered, I could feel the rising fear engulfing me as I began to tremble violently; I was definitely not ready for this.

I was unaware I was hyper ventilating until Edward touched my leg, "It's alright love, I know it's a shock but we'll deal with it together. Bella you need to calm down and try to breathe normally love."

I shook my head and tried to relax, closing my eyes I took a few shallow gasps but I couldn't seem to get enough oxygen.

"Bella you need to relax, you're getting too stressed and it's not good for you or the babies, I know this a shock to you but try to concentrate on calming yourself down." Dr Vincent's voice was kind but firm, I did what she said and soon my breathing returned to normal.

"That's good Bella; your heart rate has returned to normal; now according to these measurements you are about six weeks along, the babies all look fine and healthy, and everything is progressing well. Now Bella; have you decided if you wish to proceed with the pregnancy?"

"Yes, I wish to proceed with the pregnancy." No matter how frightened I was; I wasn't going to back out and let Edward down.

"That's good Bella, I'll prepare a prenatal plan for you Bella and we'll discuss it at your next appointment. Now are there any questions you would like to ask me?"

"Dr Vincent as you know I was planning on travelling abroad in the next few weeks on an extended holiday, is that going to still be possible?"

"I'm sorry Bella, but I must advise you against travelling at this time, with the added stress on the body from carrying Triplets the risks are increased."

I was hugely disappointed but I didn't let it show, "that's fine Doctor Vincent, triplets is a big enough adventure for the foreseeable future."

Edward chuckled, as he watched me pull on my top, taking my hand, he waited for Dr Vincent to schedule my next appointment then whisked me out the door.

Once we were in the car Edward turned to me with a huge smile, "Triplets, I can't believe it. This is definitely the happiest day of my life."

"You're not scared?" I asked a little incredulously.

"No, I'm indescribably happy at the prospect of three little miracles entering our lives. Bella; everything's going to be fine love, we'll have such a huge support network around us; I know that we won't be raising these children alone."

I instantly felt better when I thought about what he'd just said, of course we wouldn't be raising these children alone, Alice and Rose were going to be overjoyed to become Aunties not to mention how excited James and Victoria were going to be. It had been there wish for a few years now to be bestowed with grandchildren and now they were going to get a triple dose.

I did wonder how Edward's parents were going to react to the news and once again his words brought me instant comfort, "Bella do you mind if we have a family dinner and tell everyone tonight? I don't think I'm going to be able to hold it in for very long and I know Carlisle and Esme are going to be absolutely delighted at the news they're finally going be grandparents."

"Oh course Edward, we can do what ever you want, and I think we should offer James and Victoria the tickets for our trip. I know it's always been a dream of Victoria's to travel." He caught hold of my hand and brought it to his lips, my skin tingled at his touch.

"That's a nice idea love, and thank you for letting me tell everybody." He pulled out his cell phone and called all of our family to invite them for dinner at our place, Esme knew there was something up, I guessed by Edward's elated tone, and questioned him but he just said he'd see her for dinner tonight.

We brought Gourmet Italian food on the way home and our guests arrived not long after us, we ate out on the balcony, Alice refused to eat off our dining room table since she discovered what else we used it for.

Edward smiled and fidgeted all the way through dinner, I could tell how impatient he was getting at wanting to share the news.

When everyone had finally finished eating, Edward cleared his throat; gaining everybody's attention, "so; there is a reason that Bella and I invited you here tonight and it involves a change of plans. While we are still going to have a big adventure, it's now going to be at home. Bella and I are going to be parents; of triplets."

I looked around the table and laughed, every face wore the same shocked look. It was Alice who finally broke the silence, "Yay Bella; you're making me an Aunty and Jaz an Uncle, ooh I can't wait to go shopping, they have the cutest little designer clothes for children."

Esme and Victoria stood up and came to hug Edward and I in turn, both had tears of joy sliding down their cheeks, James hugged me tight, "I'm so happy for you Bells," he turned to shake Edwards hand, "congratulations Edward."

Carlisle hugged me close, "this is truly wonderful news Bella, I am so very happy for you and Edward."

"Thanks Carlisle; so you're not mad that we're making you a granddad too early?" I teased.

"Not at all Bella, I simply can't wait." Carlisle let me go and turned to Edward, he pulled him into a hug, slapping him on the back, "congratulations son I couldn't be happier for you."

"Thanks Dad." It took me a minute to recognise the look on Edward's face as he was congratulated by his brothers, then I realised it was pride. He was so proud of the fact that he was going to be a father.

I began to clear the table, Victoria, Rose and Alice followed me to the kitchen, once the four of us were alone I offered Victoria our trip away, which she accepted on the proviso that her and James were home in time for the birth.

We celebrated long into the night, and by the time I guest left I was once again struggling to stay awake.

Edward carried me to our bedroom, removing my clothes he settled me in, he kissed my stomach, "I can't wait to meet you little ones.

A warm glow radiated from my chest as I thought about how along with Edward and our children we were going to be the perfect happy family.

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**A/N: this is my last chapter udate until I get more reviews. I have over 3,500 people reading this story less than a hundred reviews, so I am now resorting to threats:)...Do you want to have to wait a month for updates? well you know what to do....REVIEW... **


	38. Chapter 38 What's in the water?

**A/N: Thank you to those of you who reviewed it was just the tonic I needed to get through writing my additional chapters:D.. please keep them coming... and I'm really happy that you all enjoyed the fact that Bella is having triplets and with Edward's reaction.**

**DISCLAIMER: S Meyer owns Twilight, Harriet Blanche Jones owns The Angels Good Night and I own triplets...**

**Chapter 38: What's in the water? **

It was only six weeks after I found out I was pregnant, that Emmett and Rose called their own family meeting to announce that Rose was six weeks pregnant with triplets and a week later when Alice and Jasper announced their inclusion into the triplets club, being five weeks pregnant with her own set.

When Alice rung to tell James and Victoria, James was shocked, "What have they put in the water in your building?" he joked, before passing the phone to Victoria.

"It doesn't really surprise me that you and Rose are pregnant with triplets, it's always been the same with you three, when one of you got sick; all three of you got sick, when one of you got acne; you all got it, so it figures that this would be the same. I'm so happy for you Alice."

"Thanks Vic; Jasper and I are pretty over the moon ourselves. And I remember the Acne thing, Rose used to curse Bella every time she got a break out, especially the particular hideous one she suffered before prom, remember all those witchy remedies Rose tried to get rid of them, I think that's when she decide to become a Beauty Therapist."

"I remember, Rose cried for a week before prom and then it had cleared by the morning of prom and then she acted as if there had been no drama at all."

Carlisle and Esme were ecstatic at the prospect of becoming grandparents to nine grandchildren in the space of a few weeks. Esme was nearly as happy with the prospect of decorating three nurseries, as she was at becoming a grandparent.

Her enthusiasm was infectious and I found myself caught up in paint samples and baby furniture. I wasn't quite sure how we were going to house triplets in a two-bedroom apartment and I guessed Rose and Alice were having the same dilemma.

Esme must have been thinking along the same lines because she called us early on Sunday morning and asked us to meet her at an address in the Hampton's. When we pulled into the tree lined driveway we were confronted by the biggest house I'd ever seen. Waiting for us in the driveway with Carlisle and Esme were Rose, Emmett, Jasper and Alice.

We joined the other's, who looked just as puzzled as we did at being called to this random address, we waited for Carlisle or Esme to explain what was going on.

It was Esme who finally shed some light on the subject; she smiled at our puzzled faces.

"Now that you're all here I'll explain. So I was thinking; none of you are living in places big enough to house triplets, so Carlisle and I began looking for a property where you could all live in close proximity to each other, which had enough room for privacy for you all and a lawn for our grand children to play on. When we found this property we thought it was perfect."

We all looked at each other in surprise; none of us were this. We focused our attention back on Esme.

"There are four houses on the property, the other three are as impressive as this one, but each is unique and I think they will suit your personalities perfectly. Now we don't want to put any pressure on you to accept, we thought you might like to have a look and see what you thought. So Rose and Emmett this house is yours, if you'd like to have a look through, here are the keys."

Emmett took the keys from his Mum and led a stunned looking Rosalie to the front door, we all laughed as we heard her shriek. Emmett had swept her off her feet and carried her over the threshold.

"Bella and Edward you come with me, Jasper and Alice you go with Carlisle."

We followed Esme around the side of Rose and Emmett's place and were once again speechless, across a vast lawn was the most amazing house, well I thought it actually looked more like a modern interpretation of a castle, with its twin turrets and partial stone cladding.

I quickened my pace, I was practically dragging Edward in my haste to get closer. He laughed along with Esme, when I clapped my hands petulantly when I saw the little wooden draw bridge you had cross to reach the house. I looked down and saw a vast array of goldfish swimming just under the surface of the water.

Esme handed me a brass key and I almost ran to open the front door, I was desperate to see what delights lay behind its beautfully carved exterior. I wasn't disappointed as I walked into the foyer and was bathed in the most beautiful indigo coloured light, filtering in from the huge stained glass windows that made up the roof.

I would have been happy to stay bathed in the soft light of the foyer but I couldn't contain my curiosity, I turned to see where Esme was and saw her still standing in the doorway.

"I'm going to leave you kids to have a look around, I want to go and see what Rose and Emmett think of their house;" We waved her off and set out to explore our castle.

I sighed when I came across the state of the art kitchen with all its gleaming appliances, cooking wasn't my specialty but I was sure I could be tempted into lessons if it meant I could be worthy of cooking in this kitchen.

We explored all the rooms on the first floor, each room was unique in its furnishings and each window had a line of faceted glass along the top of it, which bathed each of the rooms in a rainbow of coloured light.

When we reached a massive wooden staircase, with its delicately carved panels lining the walls, I took the stairs two at a time eager to see what lay beyond.

I headed for the first door off the hallway and threw it open; I let out an audible sigh when I surveyed the room.

It was a child's bedroom; with neutral walls and a massive, blue stained glass window that turned the sunlight streaming in a pale blue hue. A bookshelf lined one wall and there was a little desk in one corner. The bed was bathed in a concentrated patch of blue light.

"Oh god Edward; this bedroom is stunning, I love the way the blue light in the room gives it such a calming feeling."

"It is a stunning room," Edward conceded, "but it's no where near as stunning as you are love. I'm having more fun watching your reactions than I am at discovering what's behind each door." I rolled my eyes at him and he laughed as he gave me a quick kiss.

As much as I would have loved to have stayed in the gentle blue light of the room, I wanted to see what was behind the other doors on this floor.

The next room was another child's bedroom, the room was set out the same as the first except for one big difference; the window in here was yellow glass, filling the room in a warm golden light; it felt like the sunlight was caressing the air in the room.

I guessed the third room on this floor was another child's room and I was eager to see what coloured window would adorn it. I wasn't disappointed when I threw open the door. This bedroom had a window of green glass that was the exact shade of Edward's eyes.

"I wonder when we're going to open the door to our bedroom. I'm getting impatient to know where I get to ravish you every night my love." Edward's voice sounded like pure sex, it made me instantly wet.

"Well; I don't think that will be very far away babe, I imagine the nursery is behind this last door and I'm hoping our room's just up there." I pointed to a small spiralling wrought iron stairwell that disappeared up to the next level."

"I hope you're right love or I'm going to take you in what ever room we find at the top of those stairs." His fingers found the hem of my dress and disappeared beneath the soft fabric.

He tried to stifle his laugh when he reached the edge of the hideous cotton/Lycra maternity bloomers I was now forced to wear.

"Edward if you dare laugh at my 'Bridget Jones knickers, I swear you won't be visiting my nether regions again in the near future."

"I'm sorry love I didn't mean to laugh, I'm still getting used to them." He slipped his fingers under the stretchy material and let them slide along my wet folds, his moan turned into a growl as he slipped his fingers into my warm wet core.

"You're still getting used to them? I don't think I'll ever get used to the ugly things, they are the unsexiest and most hideous things ever designed."

I know love, I can't imagine how Alice is coping having to wear them. Actually I'm surprised she hasn't designed her own super sexy range yet." I giggled, but Edward had just given me the perfect project for Alice, Rose and I to work on when we were stuck at home with triplets.

"Fuck Bella, let's look in this room and then go find our room, I've got to have you now love."

He pumped his fingers into me as I brought my mouth to his, "I want you too baby," I murmured against his lips.

He pulled away from me, slipping his fingers from my warmth, and opened the one remaining door, I turned to peek and felt tears spring to my eyes.

I forgot my impatience to find our bedroom; Edward and I could finish what we'd started later, I was so enchanted by the room before me, that I was stunned.

"Oh wow," Edward's eyes were wide as he took in the room.

A huge window ran nearly the entire length of one wall, one pane of glass was yellow, one was blue and the other was green. Three beautiful antique cribs sat bathed in the different hued light, created by the sun filtering through the glass, two antique rocking chairs sat side by side at one end of the room and a large ornate daybed adorned in silk cushions of gold, blue and green sat at the other end.

There was a huge bookcase adorning one wall; it was full of classic children's books. Though I loved everything in and about the room, my favourite thing in there was the baby grand piano that sat expectantly off to one side.

"Edward I want to live here, I want our children to grow up in this enchanting house. It's like a rainbow castle; it has such a magical quality to it. I can't believe how uplifted I feel since I walked through the front door. Esme was right; I think it fit's our personalities perfectly."

I looked at him, hoping he was going to say he loved the house as much as I did, "Bella; I'd live in an igloo if you asked me too, I love the house, I think it's the perfect place to raise our family."

"Thank you Edward, I know we're going to be so happy here, now let's go find our room, so the ravishing can begin."

He chased me up the winding staircase, which I guessed was taking us up into one of the turrets; my breath hitched when I saw the master bedroom, the room was circular and three quarters of it's walls were purple stained glass windows, which diffused a beautiful purple light through the room.

The roof was a dome of clear glass that let shafts of light fall directly of the huge bed, giving it a mystical quality; I turned to Edward about to tell him this was dream room when he cut me off.

"I know love; as soon as I saw the purple windows I knew you were enchanted," He chuckled as he hooked his fingers under the hem of my dress and lifted it over my head, I pulled his jeans and boxers down as he pulled off his shirt, my fingers wrapped around his erection.

He pulled my panties down over my hips and helped them slide to the floor, his hands moved to unhook my bra, I sighed contentedly as he pulled my body to his. His kiss was soft but demanding, his hands sliding over the changing contours of my body.

He pulled away from me, taking my hand he led me to the bed, sitting me on the edge he dropped to his knees, bringing his lips to mine. His hand moved to caress my stomach; I could feel the depth of his love in his kiss. It spoke directly to my soul.

His lips trailed down to my stomach, pausing to say hello to our babies. I lay back on the soft cushions as Edwards tongue found my warmth; my hands entangled his hair, helping guide him to where I wanted him most. I sighed as his fingers slipped into my wetness.

When he noticed my hands gripping the bed covers, he increased the pressure of his tongue. I cried out his name as my back arched off the bed, and his tongue lapped at my juices, I tried to squirm from his continued assault on my clit, but he held me steady.

My eyes rolled back in my head as he brought another orgasm crashing over me, "Oh god Edward…too much…baby…can't...Please…fuckshitgod… ED…ward…" He finally stopped licking my quivering clit, and withdrew his glistening fingers.

As I watched him licked his fingers clean I nearly came again right then.

"Edward I want you to make love too me against those purple windows, I want to feel the purple light on my skin."

I slipped off the bed and walked to the window, I stood in the purple shafts of light, letting the rays warm my naked body.

"Bella you look like an Angel," Edward whispered against my neck, his erection pressed into my lower back. He walked me to the window, pushing me gently against the warm glass.

I parted my legs for him; his deep sigh caressed my ear as he entered me in one fluid motion. He kept up a constant stream of whispered professions of love and commitment to me and our babies in my ear, as he thrust deeper inside me.

His strokes were gentle, he was making love to me softly, sweetly; I slipped my hand between my legs, cupping his balls in my hand; I massaged them gently.

"Mmm…Bella my goddess…my love…feel so…good…" His lips brushed over the skin of my neck as he pressed into me, riding out his orgasm.

We cleaned ourselves up and continued exploring the house; the other turret contained a library that had hundreds of books on shelves that stretched from the floor to the ceiling. The room was bathed in a pale green light, which I thought was the perfect colour for Edward.

When he saw the rows of books his eyes sparkled, I knew this would be his favourite room to help the kids with their homework or school projects.

We strolled through the gardens before we made our way back to find the others, though I didn't want to remind him of the whole Jasper thing, I needed to know Edward would be comfortable living here.

"Edward I want you to say if you don't want to live in such close proximity to my family or yours. I'll totally understand if you want to turn down your parents offer and find our own place."

"Bella; I know things haven't been that great between Jasper and I, but he is my brother and I love him, and besides I'm more worried about you being apart from your sister's. You've only ever been separated by a door; I think you'll be happier if we live close to them."

We arrived at the house Esme had picked out for Alice and Jaz. I couldn't help but giggle when I walked through to the kitchen to find all the appliances were a violent shade of shocking pink.

There were other rooms that were more Jasper's personality than Alice's like the lounge which was done in deep warm tones and contained beautiful leather furniture. I marvelled at how Esme seem to make there differing tastes work.

I personally loved Jasper and Alice's house, it was like pixie princess meets rock 'n' roll.

I leaned into Edward to whisper in his ear, "I hope you realise how lucky you are that you don't have to live with the shocking pink appliances."

He chuckled against my ear, "I was just thinking that exact thing."

We found the others strolling around Alice's garden; we could hear her telling Jasper what she wanted to change in the garden, so I knew Alice was moving in.

She rushed to my side when she saw us, "Oh Bella; please tell me you want to live on this amazing property; I don't want to live here without you and Edward. Rose and Emmett have agreed to take the house they were offered, please say you'll take the house, please; Bella, Edward."

"Actually Alice; Edward and I decided we don't want to live here." Alice's face fell; tears sprung into her eyes and her bottom lip quivered.

Edward couldn't contain his laughter at Alice's forlorn face, "Bella don't tease Alice; I can't bear to see her cry."

"Bella; you're such a mean sister, I really thought you didn't want to live here with us."

"Sorry Alice, it was too good an opportunity to pass up. Now let's go and you can tell the others the good news and we can thank Carlisle and Esme."

Edward and I approached his parents; I hugged Carlisle and thanked him so much for his generosity.

"Bella it was our pleasure; you and Edward and your sisters and my other sons are giving Esme and I a far greater gift than we are giving you. We have longed for grandchildren for a number of years."

I let go of Carlisle and moved to hug Esme, "thank you Esme, the house is beautiful and we'd be honoured to live there."

"I'm so happy to hear that Bella; you're welcome to move in whenever you like."

We took a quick peek through Rose and Emmett's place, it was decorated in French Country Chic, which I thought suited Rose; maybe not Emmett so much, but he already had plans to rectify that. His eyes shined in anticipation while he showed us where he would be adding his games room or man cave as Rose called it.

As we drove back to the city, we decided that we'd move by the end of the month. We'd keep my apartment, in case Edward had late business meetings or for a place for us to go and chill out, if we came into the city for the day.

I emailed my resignation to my Boss while Edward cooked us a yummy dinner of mushroom ravioli, we decided to have an early night since I seemed to be exhausted again.

Edward was just saying goodnight to our babies, when I got the strangest feeling in my stomach; it felt like it was full of butterflies, whose tiny wings were fluttering against my insides.

When Edward stopped talking the strange sensation stopped. "Edward talk to the babies again, I wanna try something."

He pressed his face to my stomach, and began singing a lullaby I had never heard before. His voice was soft, sweet and full of love.

"_The little stars  
__That shine so bright  
__Are angels come  
__To say good night_

_Good night  
__Sleep tight  
__Sweetest dreams we'll send  
__To you tonight_

_So if you peek  
__Outside and spy  
__A wee star twinkling  
__In the sky  
__It may  
__It might  
__Be an angel  
__come to say goodnight_

Tears rolled down my cheeks and the strange fluttering was back, and more intense this time, it felt like the butterflies were responding to the sound of Edward's voice.

"Edward I'm sure I can feel our babies inside me, when you speak to my stomach it feels like butterflies are fluttering around inside me."

He looked up at me with wonder in his eyes; his hand rubbed over my already protruding belly, the butterflies continued to flutter, responding to his touch.

"Your Mum and I can't wait to meet you little ones; you need to take care of each other in there." Edward broke into a breath-taking smile, his love for his unborn children was so clear there on his face, it made my heart swell.

He climbed under the bed covers; pressing his chest into my back. I snuggled against him, unable to fight off the exhaustion; I let sleep take me.

~~~XX~~~

We spent the day packing, since Esme had fully furnished our new place there wasn't a lot to take, just clothes, a few mementos and my sickly looking house plants, they might actually do better in the rainbow house; I mused as I shoved the small ones into a box.

Edward wanted to go back to the apartment he'd shared with his brothers to grab some of things he couldn't do with out. I was looking forward to going back to Edward's apartment and looking at all the things he'd amassed over the years.

Emmett and Rose were there when we arrived, I laughed loudly when I saw Rose sprawled out on the couch barking orders at Emmett who was red faced and sweating. I went over and kissed Rose's cheek; she hugged me tightly.

Emmett gave me a big hug; being careful not to crush me as he lifted me off the ground and kissed me on the mouth, his lips parting slightly. I giggled against his lips when I felt his tongue seeking mine. I could see Rosalie and Edward in my peripheral vision; she was giving him the usual greeting, of sticking her tongue down his throat, so I kissed Emmett with more enthusiasm.

I closed my eyes when Emmett deepened the kiss; we'd been kissing for a few minutes when I heard someone clearing their throat behind me. I broke the kiss and turned to see who had interrupted us; I felt the blush flooding my cheeks when I saw Carlisle standing there with a smirk on his handsome face.

"Hi Dad," Emmett chortled as he released me from his embrace, I was so mortified I couldn't look Carlisle in the eye; I kept my eyes on the floor, wishing that it would open up and swallow me whole.

"Hi son; I didn't mean to interrupt yours and Bella's very energetic and thoroughly non verbal hello." Rosalie and Edward burst out laughing and Emmett joined in.

I looked over at Edward who was trying very hard to contain his hysterics, "sorry love I know it's not funny, but you look so guilty. Like a little kid who got caught with her hand in the cookie jar." I poked my tongue out him like a five year old, making him laugh again.

I looked at Carlisle; he was grinning at me and I could see the mischief in his eyes, "Bella; after seeing how you greet Edward's brother I feel a little bit ripped off, you've never greeted me with that kind of enthusiasm."

The room erupted into laughter again; Emmett's booming laugh nearly drowned out Edward, Rose and Carlisle's gales of laughter, I was tempted to run from the room screaming.

Resisting the urge to run; I moved toward Carlisle and placed a chaste kiss on his lips, "sorry Carlisle but that's all you get; I don't know if I'd be willing or able stop once I started kissing you and as much as I know I'd really enjoy it, I don't think Edward or Esme would approve."

"Ahh Bella; if I were twenty years younger…"

"Carlisle you wouldn't need to be twenty years younger; if we were both single I'd hook up with you in a heartbeat." Oh my god I did not just say that to Edward's father in front of him and Emmett.

Carlisle hugged me gently, "Bella; you're such a delight to be around; I really enjoy your sense of humour, I can see why Edward loves you so much." I winked at Edward over Carlisle shoulder, he smiled widely; I was glad to see he wasn't offended by my comment, Emmett was bent over in silent laughter and Rose was shaking her head in shock.

"It's all an illusion Carlisle; you know 'all smoke and mirrors' as they say." Edward, Emmett and Rose snickered to each other, it took me a minute to realise what they were cackling about. My reference to smoke and mirrors would have brought memories of Switzerland flooding back.

I glared at them and they all looked decidedly abashed, Edward came to stand at my side; he entwined his fingers with mine giving them a gentle squeeze, "I guess we should start packing love." As Edward led me from the room, I heard Rose asking Carlisle if he'd like a coffee.

We reached Edwards room; he opened the door and headed straight for the window, pulling his curtains back to allow the sun into the room and throwing open the window.

I stifled a giggle when I saw his shelf of trophies, it didn't surprise me that Edward was an over achiever at school. I could imagine him being more motivated than most of his peers.

"Do you want to take your wall of fame with you to our new house?" I teased.

"Yes; I was planning to put all those trophies on our mantelpiece."

I don't think so baby; we'll give those to your Mum. I'm sure she has enough space in her new house for a trophy room. Beside's it will give her something to show her society friends." I snickered and he poked his tongue out at me.

"Am I allowed to bring my framed Van Morrison Pictures?" He eyed me apprehensively; I could see he was worried I was going to say no.

"Hmm…I don't know Edward…" I let out an audible sigh, "I suppose you can bring them, they are classics after all."

"Thank you love;" I instantly felt guilty that he felt like he had to ask my permission.

"Edward I was only joking about the trophies; you don't have to ask me what you're allowed to bring, it's your home too; you bring whatever you like."

I helped him load his vast CD collection into boxes, I had fun watching him clean out his closet; I could barely contain my excitement when he let me look through some old photos of his childhood and college days.

I tried to keep my breathing even when I came across a photo of Edward smiling happily with his arm thrown casually around the shoulders of a pretty girl with strawberry blond curls, I turned the photo over and found an inscription on the back, it didn't look like Edwards writing. _'Edward and Tanya, summer of 1999._

I took a couple more covert peeks at the image, studying Edward and Tanya's body language. They looked like a happy couple, his smile was bright and carefree, Tanya was looking up at him adoringly; it was clear on her face how much she loved Edward.

I fought back the overwhelming desire to rip the photo into a million tiny pieces; I sincerely hoped that if I ever had the opportunity to see how Edward and Tanya interacted in a social setting, I would never see her looking at him like that.

I stuffed the image into the box before Edward saw what I was looking at, I perused the rest of the images looking for more photos of Edward and Tania; I was both glad and disappointed that there were no others amongst the pile.

When Edward had packed everything, Carlisle and Emmett helped him load it into the back of Carlisle car, since both Edward and my car were loaded with boxes.

The minute the men left the room Rose broke into a fit of giggles, "Oh my god Bella; I cannot believe you told Carlisle you'd hook up with him. Would you really? I mean I know he's gorgeous but still…"

"Will you swear Rosalie Lillian Swan on all that is scared between triplets, that you will never under any circumstances, that includes torture or an attack from the Demonic Pixie that you will not repeat what I'm about to say."

"Of course Bella; I'll even pinkie swear." I grinned as she held up her pinkie. I hooked my pinkie around hers in our age old tradition.

"Then yes I would definitely hook up with Carlisle if Esme and Edward weren't in the picture, he has the same kind nature as Edward and he's hot."

"Yeah I guess I can see the attraction, and I'd probably hook up with him too." We stopped talking when we heard voices outside the door; we both stood and headed towards the sound.

I hugged Rose tightly, "You ready start your new life in the Hampton's?"

"Yes; are you?"

"Ready as I'll ever be."

I opened the door and we stepped into the waiting embraces of our destinies.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~******************************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**A/N: I have no plans to drag out any of the pregnancies and all the babies are due in the next chapter. So if you want it soon you know what to do.... Review... :D**


	39. Chapter 39 Babies

**A/N: As usual thank you to those of you who reviewed and please keep them coming. I know I promised you that all the babies would be born in this chapter but I've changed my mind.. The birth of Bella's babies is enough for one chapter. As this is a work of fiction I took liberties with Bella's labour, I know it's probably not completely correct but I don't care I just wanted to get it over and done with. In regards to baby names they were just about as bigger head ache as the birth. I had the names of Bella's children sorted but Rose and Alices have been changed so many times.**

**A BIG THANK YOU TO MY SISTER IN LAW MS MAE WHO HELPED ME WITH THIS CHAPTER :)**

**I know that Edward and Bella's children's names won't be to everyones liking but hey that's life...**

**DISCLAIMER: You know the drill...**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Chapter 39: BABIES…**

I couldn't believe how quickly the last four months had flown by since we'd settled into the rainbow castle. Edward had decided he'd go back to work and take a year's leave when the babies were born. I spent my days helping Esme with her charity work and gardening until I got too big, and now practised the piano. Edward had been teaching me how to play for the last few months. He was an excellent teacher and I found myself picking it up quite quickly.

~~xxx~~

It was a wet and windy Tuesday morning. I was a little grumpy due to the appalling night's sleep I got courtesy of the near constant dull ache in my back.

I grumbled to Edward who kissed my pouting lips, "Hang in there love, there's only a couple more weeks to go. I promise I'll be home early tonight and I'll rub your feet and ankles for you."

"Don't you mean my kankles? they don't really resemble ankles and feet at the moment."

He laughed loudly, bending down to kiss my swollen belly, "I'll see you tonight love."

I watched him through the kitchen window as his car disappeared down the driveway then headed for the nursery to practise my scales and arpeggios on the baby grand. I didn't last very long though my back was aching and I could barely hold myself up.

I struggled to my feet and had only taken two steps when I had the strangest feeling between my legs. I could feel fluid leaking from my core and trickling down my thighs. "Oh shit," I muttered to myself and headed upstairs. I dialled Edward's number from the phone on the bedside table.

"Bella is everything alright?" Edward's voice had a hint of panic to it.

"Um…I think my waters just broke."

"I'm on my way love, I'll ring Carlisle and Esme, you just make yourself as comfortable as you can. I'll be there soon, I love you Bella."

"I love you too Edward, hurry home."

I went to grab some towels from the en suite and was pulling off my sodden underwear when I was struck by a sharp cramping in my stomach. "Ow… ow… ow…fuck shit…that hurts" I gasped and Leant against the wall. I closed my eyes and rode out the contraction then as soon as I felt the cramp relax I grabbed the towels and went to lie on my bed.

I checked the time and waited for the next contraction. It was twelve minutes later when the next one hit. If I thought the first one hurt I was deluded, "Fuck…ow…ow…shit…" I tried to remember the breathing techniques I learnt at anti natal classes, as I gasped for air.

I was startled when I heard a voice ring out from the stairway, "Bella are you up there?" I relaxed when I recognised Carlisle voice.

"Yes" I smiled weakly when he entered the room carrying a black leather bag. "Hi Carlisle." I tried not to blush at the fact I probably looked like a beached whale and closed my eyes and took a couple of deep breaths.

"Bella, Edward said your waters broke, are you having regular contractions?" My eyes flew open when I heard the snapping sound of latex being stretched tightly and released. I eyed Carlisle gloved hands with mild apprehension.

"I've had two strong ones about twelve minutes apart, if they keep going at that speed the next one is due in about six minutes." He nodded his head as he approached the bed.

"Bella; I need to give you an internal examination to see how many centimetres dilated you are." I couldn't stop the deep crimson blush from flooding my face when I registered what Carlisle had just said.

I had tried not to think about the impending birth too much. As excited as I was to meet my children, I didn't want to scare myself thinking about how hard it was going to be to give birth to three babies, so I never really thought anything of it when Edward asked me if Carlisle could deliver our babies.

Obviously if I had; I would never have agreed knowing that my children's granddad had to put his fingers in the place that was strictly reserved for Edward's fingers among other parts of his anatomy. I realised it was too late to back out now so I closed my eyes and took a deep steadying breath.

"Oh…um sure Carlisle;" I could feel my blush deepening as Carlisle parted my knees. I kept my eyes closed as his fingers slid into my core and probed gently. I was sure I was going to die of embarrassment.

"Bella you're about eight centimetres dilated, we need to get you to the hospital now." He removed his fingers from me and discarded his gloves into a plastic bag.

He picked up the phone from the bedside table and called for an ambulance. He had just finished giving directions to the house to the dispatcher on the phone when another contraction hit. He hung up swiftly.

"Owww…Ahh…Ahh…ow…ow…ow…" I gasped for air and tried hard to concentrate on not swearing my head off in front of Carlisle. This contraction was worse than the other two and I gripped the bed covers as I rode it out.

When the pain eased, I opened my eyes to see Carlisle staring down at me, "Bella has the contraction stopped?"

"Yes."

"Right, we need to get you downstairs. I'll just go and get Esme from the nursery to help escort you." He swiftly disappeared from the room.

Carlisle didn't return straight away and I lay on the bed willing Edward to hurry home. I was scared he wouldn't get to me in time.

Tears welled in my eyes as I stroked my swollen belly, "Hold on till Daddy gets here little ones." I heard Esme and Carlisle talking quietly on the stairs and quickly wiped away my tears.

Esme's face broke into a radiant smile when she saw me and she rushed to my side taking my hand in hers and squeezing it gently, "Are you alright Bella?"

"Yes, no, it hurts." I knew I sounded childish but I didn't really care at that point because another contraction was starting building. I looked at the clock in surprise it had only been eight minutes since my last contraction.

I gritted my teeth and relaxed my grip on Esme's hand as I didn't want to crush her fingers. I concentrated on not screaming or swearing in front of Esme or Carlisle, who was reassuring a panicked Edward on his cell phone.

"That's it Bella just breathe through it." Esme's soft voice washed over me. I should have felt soothed but I panicked when she swept my damp hair from my face, exposing my neck and Edward's mark.

Her eyes lingered on the silvery purple mark for a moment, a slight frown marring her beautiful features. She lifted her eyes to mine questioningly but before she could ask, Carlisle joined us.

"Bella, Edward isn't too far away and we need to get you down stairs. It was only eight minutes between those contractions so we need to get you to hospital fairly quickly." He reached out his hand and along with Esme they helped me from the bed.

We waited in the kitchen for the ambulance; Esme retrieved my packed bag while Carlisle held my hand through my next contraction. The pain was so intense, so much worse than the cramps from the Detox in rehab. I wanted pain relief but I was scared it might set me back on my recovery.

Carlisle brought me back from my thoughts, "They're still eight minutes apart Bella."

I nodded my head in acknowledgement but never said anything. I was scared if I opened my mouth a stream of profanities would spew forth.

Edward arrived at the same time as the ambulance. He charged through the door in front of the EMT wheeling a gurney, his panicked face relaxing into a smile when he saw me. "Hi love, how's it going?" He took my hand and brought it to his lips.

"It hurts a lot; Edward I want…" I started to tell him I wanted pain meds but was interrupted by Carlisle.

"Bella we need to get you on the gurney, it's been five minutes since your last contraction so we need to get you comfortable before the next one.

I stood up and with the help of the EMT and Carlisle, got onto the gurney and made sure I was comfortable. Edward kept out of the way but stayed close, his sparkling eyes never leaving mine. I could tell how excited he was that he was finally going to meet his much longed for babies.

I smiled widely at him, his responding smile dazzled me. He followed as I was wheeled toward the ambulance. We had just gotten through the front door when another contraction began building. I breathed heavily expecting it to start tapering off like the others but this one was different, it kept intensifying and the pain was excruciating, I couldn't stop myself swearing, "Fuck…shit…ow…ow…Owww…" I looked up at Edward as I exhaled in a rush, I was surprised when my eyes met his and I saw his expression.

I was about to reassure him that I was ok when Carlisle spoke. "That's six minutes since the last contraction, how are you feeling Bella?" Carlisle helped the EMT to wheel me to the ambulance.

Edward's eyes widened; panic and worry evident in his features as this was the first contraction he'd seen me have. He took my hand and I squeezed his fingers gently.

I felt him relax instantly, "Bella; it's alright love just remember the breathing we learnt." He leaned forward and kissed my forehead as I was loaded into the ambulance. He followed Carlisle into the ambulance, sitting opposite my bed.

I waited until the EMT had closed the door and returned to the driver's seat, before turning my eyes on Edward, "I want pain meds Edward, the pain is worse than anything I've ever experienced."

His eyes darkened perceptibly, "Bella; I'm not sure if that's a good idea love, it might…"

"Please Edward it's not like that, honestly, just…the pain…it really hurts." I looked at him pleadingly; I could see Carlisle in my peripheral vision, watching our exchange with a slight hint of curiosity on his face.

He looked directly at Edward, "Son it's perfectly safe to give Bella pain meds." Edward ignored him and looked at me intently I knew instantly what he was silently asking me, his question burned in his eyes.

I sighed deeply and nodded my consent. I took a deep calming breath keeping my eyes on Edward as he turned to his father.

"Dad, Bella was being treated in a rehab facility for a methamphetamine addiction when she fell pregnant; she was in her final week of the program. I'm concerned that it may set back her recovery if she has drugs." My eyes darted to Carlisle; his face showed no visible emotion to Edwards' statement but I could see the hint of shock in his eyes.

Carlisle turned to me and I met his gaze with embarrassment. He looked at me pensively, exhaling slowly, "Bella how have you been managing your addiction?"

I took a deep breath, "I've been going to meetings twice a week and seeing a councillor once a month. Carlisle I haven't thought about using drugs since I left rehab, I'll be fine, honestly." I tried to keep my voice even, I was positive this wouldn't set me back.

"Bella I will give you a shot of pethadine, but I want an assurance from you that if it triggers feelings or urges in the coming weeks or months that you will let me know. That way we should be able to avoid a relapse.

I promised both Carlisle and Edward that I would alert them at once if I felt tempted. I knew in myself that I would have to be pretty close to the edge of insanity to touch drugs again. I wondered briefly what would make me turn to drugs again. I smiled to myself when I couldn't think of anything. As long as Edward was mine and our babies lived long, happy, healthy lives I couldn't imagine ever wanting to touch drugs again.

When I saw the syringe, I couldn't stop my body's reaction. My heart began to race in anticipation of getting reacquainted with the cool steel of the pik. I was terrified and elated in equal measures. I closed my eyes and tried to breathe calmly, I wasn't expecting to react like that.

I kept my eyes closed hoping that if I didn't watch I could calm my over excited body down. I concentrated on stifling the satisfied sigh trying to escape me when I felt the drugs enter my system. The rush was entirely different and my body felt instantly heavy and tired. A warm calming ease had spread through me and I felt my eyelids flutter closed.

That was until the next contraction hit. The drugs hadn't eased the pain they only scrambled my thought process making it hard to stay in touch with what was going on. My eyes rolled back into my head with the intensity of the pain and as soon as it eased my eyes closed again.

I felt like I was having a sense of déjà vu; slipping into unconsciousness only to wake crying as the pain gripped my stomach.

"The contraction's are coming at four minutes apart Bella. We are at the hospital now and we'll have you in a room in a few minutes." Carlisle voice sounded if it was coming to me from across an ocean. I tried to mumble a response but I was struggling with coherent speech and keeping myself off the nod. I had the over whelming urge to push but I held off I wanted to wait until I was in the birthing suite.

I kept my eyes on Edward as they wheeled me into the hospital, the next contraction that hit was truly horrendous, the pain was making me delirious, "Carlisle; I need more pain meds." I hissed through my clenched teeth.

Edward's eyes narrowed. "Bella love; just concentrate on your breathing." His voice was soft, reassuring, but I wasn't having a bar of it. We'd arrived in the birthing suite and I never spoke until I had been transferred to the bed.

"Fuck the breathing; Carlisle I want more meds, please. And hurry all I want to do is push" Edward glared at me, his eyes blazing. He said nothing; a wise decision I thought, as he looked at his father.

"I'll give you one more shot of pethidine Bella but this will be the last." I nodded gratefully as he asked the nurse to retrieve the medication.

Edward leant over the bed; his lips brushed against my ear, "Are you sure; you want more meds Bella?"

"Yes I'm sure; do you have any idea how much this fucken hurts, I'm completely over it already" I hissed through my locked jaw. He tried to hide the shocked look in his eyes and I immediately felt guilty until the nurse came back in that is.

I could tell Edward wanted to argue about the meds, so I changed the topic as Carlisle approached the bed holding an old friend between his fingers. "Edward have you called Alice, Rose and Victoria?" I closed my eyes; I didn't want to watch Carlisle administer the drugs.

"Yes love, I should think they'll be in the waiting room now." I tried to stay coherent as the pain meds rushed through me but it was impossible to fight the heaviness of my eyes and they drifted shut.

If I thought I was out of it before it was nothing to how I felt now. I could barely get my wits together when the next contraction hit it was so intense I nearly leapt off the bed.

"Breathe Bella; just try to breathe through the pain." As Edward swept my damp hair from my face I knew he was only trying to help but his soothing words were only irritating me.

I closed my eyes I couldn't stop my retort from spilling forth, "that's easy for you to say…ow ow ow… Owww…fuckshitfuck…I swear to god Edward…owfuckfuckfuck…I'm never letting you touch me again…I'm fucken serious Edward." I heard Edwards quiet groan and Carlisle chuckle softly from somewhere near the foot of the bed, my eyes snapped open.

I watched Carlisle apprehensively as he folded the bottom of the blanket covering me over my knees, "Bella I need to check what's going on, your contractions are now two minutes apart; if the babies' head is crowning then you'll need to start pushing in earnest.

I kept my eyes on Edward who had moved to stand next to his father; I could feel the blush staining my face when Carlisle parted my knees, he was very quick in his assessment, "It's time Bella; would you like Edward to go and get Alice and Rose for you?"

"Yes…" Edward started to move toward the door, he stopped mid step when he heard my gasp, he moved straight to my side as another contraction hit, I held his hand tightly.

Carlisle voice broke through my pain induced haze, "You need to push Bella; while you're having the contraction." I closed my eyes and tried to push. I knew I must have been crushing Edward's fingers but he never complained.

I couldn't stop the stream of expletives from spewing forth. I was so delirious with the pain and drugs I never even noticed that Alice and Rose had come into the room until I heard Alice's sharp intake of breath. I had originally planned on just having Edward, Carlisle and I at the birth but I got the guilt's, how could I deny Alice and Rose not only the chance to see what they were both in for, but also the chance to be present at the birth of their sister's children.

Rose and Alice took over from Edward in coaching me and wiping my sweaty face, while he joined his father at the foot of the bed to watch the miracle of childbirth and to be ready to deliver his babies. His sparkling green eyes darted continuously between my face and my nether regions.

The contractions were almost continuous now coming thirty seconds apart and lasting a minute. There was a constant burning pain and I could feel the resistance of the skin of my opening stretching, Carlisle smooth voice reached me over my yells and sobs, "a couple of good pushes Bella and you'll have this baby out."

"I fucken hope so." I growled and pushed with all my might, I felt the babies head push through my opening and the burning ceased.

"Don't push until the next contraction Bella." Carlisle voice was gentle but commanding, I focused on Edward; watching his face shining in anticipation as he readied himself to deliver our first child.

I pushed at the height of my next contraction and felt the baby slide from my core, I slumped back against the bed, my eyes still on Edward, "It's a boy Bella, we have a son." Edward carried our son to my side; letting me touch his tiny perfect face before taking him to be weighed and swaddled.

Edward gave me a soft kiss, "You're doing beautifully love, hang in there a bit longer."

Six minutes later our second son was born and six minutes after that our third son entered the world. Edward's face was glowing with love and pride. He placed our third born son on my chest. I kissed his bloody little head; my heart swelled when I heard his tiny cry.

I was about to complain when the nurse took him off me, but Edward's dazzling smile distracted me. While Rose and Alice were busy kissing my cheeks and congratulating me, Edward was hugging his father tightly.

"Congratulations son; I'm so very happy for you both."

"Thanks Dad; thanks for everything, Bella and I appreciate everything you've done for us." I smiled as I watched the touching scene between father and son.

"You're very welcome son, now if you'll excuse me I better let Victoria and Esme know they have grandsons before they get tired of waiting and bash down the door. Alice, Rose, maybe you'd like to join me and let Bella and Edward get acquainted with their children."

Carlisle came over and kissed my cheek, "well done Bella, you did beautifully."

"Thanks Carlisle." I allowed the nurse to take my son as I watched Carlisle, Alice and Rose leave the room. While I was desperate to meet my other two sons who were lying together in a crib not far from my bed, I was distracted by Edward's beatific face. I'd never seen him look so happy.

He came to sit on the side of my bed; his dazzling smile made my heart stutter; I'd never seen him look at me with such love and adoration. I sighed softly when his lips touched mine; the familiar tingle of electricity surged between our joined lips, "Thank you so much for giving me my sons Bella; they are the best gift I could have ever received.

I deepened the kiss, my fingers threading into his hair as I pulled him closer to me. I would have been quite happy to get lost in Edwards kiss for the foreseeable future but the tiny cries of my babies brought me back to the present.

"I think the babies want to meet their Mum," Edward murmured against my lips kissing me for a few more seconds before pulling away.

"I want to meet them too; can you bring them over to me?" I couldn't contain the excitement in my voice, it seemed liked I'd been waiting for this day forever. Edward placed my first born sons in each of my arms whilst he held our youngest.

"I think we need to name these little ones love; are there any names you are particularly fond of?"

I looked down at the baby in my left arm, my first born, "Well; I like Jamahl for this little one, Jamahl Charles. What do you think?" I looked at Edward watching closely to gauge his reaction.

"I really like that Bella; I think it's the perfect name for him."

My smile was radiant and I was stunned by the overwhelming love I felt for Edward and our sons at that moment, "So how about that little one?" I nodded to the baby in his arms, "What would you like to name him?"

"Well if you agree, I'd like to name him Taj, Taj Carlisle."

"Edward I love it!" His smile was breathtaking and my heart skipped a beat watching him gaze upon his son in his arms with such love and pride. "So that just leaves this little sweetheart, any ideas?"

"Jahla James?" He ventured.

"Jahla James Cullen, I like that." We had enough time to confirm our choices with a look before Esme and Victoria bustled into the room followed by James, Rose, Alice, Jasper and Emmett and Carlisle.

Esme and Victoria both headed straight for me; kissing me on the cheek. They took a baby each, and James relieved Edward of his baby.

Emmett hugged Edward then headed straight over to me, "Awesome effort Bells; now you just need a daughter and you'll be set."

My eyes narrowed and I hissed in his ear, "for gods sake Emmett please don't give him any ideas, I'm not sure the memory of the pain will fade enough for me to be convinced to ever do this again." He guffawed in my ear; causing me to shake my head.

I looked up to see if Edward had heard my conversation with Emmett, I was surprised when my eyes fell on Edward and Jasper hugging each other tightly and talking animatedly. I smiled to myself; Edward looked like he had let go of any residual ill feelings he had for Jasper.

Esme's voice broke through my musing bringing me back to the present, "Do these precious little bundles have names?" It was Edward, who answered her question.

"Yes Mum; you're holding our first born Jamahl Charles, Victoria has our second born Jahla James and James is holding Taj Carlisle." I watched Esme closely to gauge her reaction to the unusual names we had chosen for our sons.

"Oh those are unusual names; is there any reason for calling them by those names?" Esme looked at me intently awaiting my answer.

"Oh there's no particular reason for those names, I just like really unique names."

"Well they certainly are unique if not a little unusual." I knew what Esme was getting at and I wasn't going to allow her to undermine my decision."

"Thank you Esme that's exactly what I was going for; unusual."

"Bella; I love those names, each is beautiful and I like how you honoured your Dads." Victoria smiled widely at me then turned her gaze to James, his face was shining with happiness.

I had just stifled a huge yawn when the nurse came in and announced visiting time was over, I looked at Edward in alarm; thinking he had to go too. He smiled and shook his head and I instantly relaxed. The nurse waited until our family had left before she brought Jamahl to me and showed me how too correctly feed my babies.

I could feel Edwards gaze on me as I marvelled at my son clasped to my breast; I looked up at him with a smirk "I guess these don't belong to you anymore, unless you want a mouthful of milk that is." I snickered at Edwards grimace. I don't think he'd thought about that.

"Well; I guess I could loan them to the babies for a few months, but as soon as their done with them, I want them back, I don't usually share my toys." I couldn't stifle my giggle.

"That sounds fair babe and I'm proud of you for learning to share." A soft knock at the door interrupted our whispered giggles.

Esme entered carrying a picnic basket, "I thought you'd both be hungry so I packed some food for you. I won't stay; I just wanted to say I'm so proud of the both of you and I'll see you tomorrow."

"Thanks Mum."

"Yes; thank you Esme, we'll see you tomorrow." I fed Taj and Jahla before we dined on Esme's wonderful home made mushroom ravioli.

After dinner Edward kissed each of his sons and curled up next to me on the narrow hospital bed, "I want you to get some rest love; it's been a long day and you'll have to be up in a few hours to feed the boys again."

I was almost asleep; I fought my drooping eyelids and mumbled, "Stay with us Edward."

I smiled when his breath tickled my ear, "where else would I go, the ones I love the most; my family are all in this room."

"Family, I liked the sound of that."

I curled up into his embrace and let sleep claim me.

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**A/N: I hoped you enjoyed that...When my reviews hit 200 I'll update...so you know what to do...Review;)**


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N: Thank you to those few who reviewed I appreciate you taking the time to leave a message.**

**Disclaimer: S Meyer owns twilight. I own Triplets...**

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**CHAPTER 40: HOME COMING…**

I'd been in the hospital for a week and I was over it, I wanted to take my sons home and sleep in Edwards arms in our bed. I was about text Carlisle when he walked through the door, a warm smile playing on his handsome face.

"How are you today Bella?" Carlisle took a peek at his sleeping grandsons before approaching my bed.

"I'm feeling good thanks Carlisle, I'm just really anxious to go home." I smiled a little apologetically.

"Yes; well that's understandable, that's why I will be discharging you today. I just wanted to have a quick chat with you before Edward arrived, if you don't mind."

"Oh…um…sure Carlisle, what's on your mind." My heart rate quickened and my mouth went dry, I had a feeling I knew what this chat was going to be about.

"First of all Bella; how are you feeling, no pain anywhere? Are you happy with how feedings going?"

"No I don't have any pain, though I do have some soreness in my muscles."

That's to be expected, and how are you feeling after the pain meds I gave you? Have you had any cravings or urges?"

"Actually I haven't, I did have a moment when you first pulled out the syringe; but nothing since then. I don't have any desire to go through that again Carlisle." I was nothing short of mortified that Carlisle knew about my problems with drugs, "Carlisle this is strictly between us right. I'm really ashamed of that part of my life and I really don't want Esme to know about this."

I could tell Carlisle was surprised but he recovered himself quickly, "Of course Bella; anything we discuss is strictly confidential and I would never discuss your medical issues with Esme or anybody else. If you don't mind me asking how long had you been using before you sought treatment."

I could feel the blush heating my cheeks; I sighed deeply before answering, "About eight or nine months." I kept my gaze on my breakfast; I was too embarrassed to look Carlisle in the eye.

"How often did you use?" I looked up into his sky blue eyes, so like Jaspers.

"Every day," I dropped my gaze back to my lap; my cheeks grew warmer.

"Well Bella, it's very important that you come and see me or your own Doctor if you begin to get cravings or thoughts about using again. Giving you pethidine when you're a recovering addict is extremely risky. You have an increased risk of relapse. I want you to know Bella, you're welcome to come and talk with me whenever you like, my doors always open."

"Thank you Carlisle, for everything."

"You're very welcome Bella."

Carlisle sat and chatted with me while I waited for Edward to arrive. I was surprised at how relaxed I was in his Company: he was easy to talk to and very kind and so very much like Edward, I found I didn't actually mind so much that he knew about my past issues with drugs.

Edward's face broke into the most beautiful smile when he walked into my room and found me photographing Carlisle with his grandsons. He went straight to his father's side and picked up Jamahl who was lying across Carlisle lap. I took photo after photo of Edward, Carlisle and the triplets; it was an intimate moment of bonding between three generations of Cullen's.

Carlisle signed my release form and helped us secure the boys in the car. Edward's face was glowing as he slid behind the wheel, I knew he was as happy as I was about bringing our sons home. We spent the car ride home deciding which colour suited which baby.

We agreed immediately that Taj would suit the green, not only did Taj resemble Edward the most and he'd responded to his father's voice from the first time Edward had spoken to him. I thought that Jahla would suit the blue as much as Jamahl would suit the yellow.

I breathed a contented sigh as we drove through the wrought iron gates of the Estate; it felt so great to be home. We transported the kids into the house Edward; carrying two capsules while I carried the other, we took them straight to the nursery, tucking each baby into his crib. I smiled when the sun shone brighter as if it was coming out from behind a cloud and each crib was bathed in the soft glow of their different coloured light.

We stood and watched them sleeping for a while then Edward drifted to the piano and began playing a beautiful soft lullaby I had never heard him play before.

"Edward that lullaby is beautiful did you compose it?" I watched him intently as the music surged around us.

"Yes it's one of my own, this is Taj's lullaby." I didn't bother to wipe the tears from my eyes; I just sat there mesmerised by the soaring melody of Taj's lullaby.

The melody morphed through a bridge to become an entirely different composition that flowed harmoniously through the complexion of notes, "this one's Jamahl's lullaby." The music uplifted me, warmed me like sunshine and I knew this lullaby was his perfect fit.

I rested my head on Edward's shoulder as he began playing the first notes of Jahla's lullaby. I closed my eyes as the perfusion of notes swirled in the air around me.

I noticed the subtle change in the melody; the new lullaby was intoxicating; I was enchanted by the haunting melody. I opened my eyes when the music became unbearably sweet, "this ones yours love." I let the music wash over me and melt into my soul.

I sat in silence and watched in awe as Edward's long pale fingers moved over the ivories eliciting perfection from every note. When the last note came to a close I threw my arms around him, fresh tears spilling from my eyes, "Thank you Edward, each of those lullabies were beautiful. Mine especially."

"You're Welcome love, now how about we sleep in here with our sons, I can't bear to be away from them; now I've finally got them home." He stood up from the piano and took my hand, leading me to the large comfortable daybed in the corner of the nursery.

I was abruptly exhausted as I lay down next to Edward and was asleep in seconds.

~~XX~~

I'd only been home three weeks when I got a frantic call from Emmett saying Rose was pretty far into her labour and they were on their way to the hospital. I finished feeding the triplets then rung Esme and asked her if she'd help Edward watch the boys. I took the trays of frozen milk I'd been expressing for this occasion out of the freezer and popped a few cubes in each of the baby bottles on the bench.

"Edward; will you be ok? Esme's on her way over and if you need me I've got my phone." I kissed him chastely.

"We'll be fine love, go and save Rose from Emmett, or should that be the other way around?"

"Yeah they'll need saving from each other, Emmett probably more so."

"True," Edward chuckled, as I walked out the door.

I could hear Rosalie's scream from down the hallway; Rose was abusing Emmett with a list of profanities that actually made me blush. I had to laugh when I entered the room, there was Rosalie withering in pain while Emmett was wearing the mask that administered the nitrous oxide gas.

"Don't worry Emmett she doesn't mean what she says, it's just the pain talking.

"I do so fucken mean it, sorry Carlisle, Emmett you're never touching me again." Rose spat through her gritted teeth.

And speaking of pain, are you having sympathy contractions?"

Emmett looked at me as if I was crazy, "No,"

"Well don't you think you should give Rose a turn, she looks like she's in pain?" Emmett grinned a little guiltily and took the mask off his face and placed it over Rose's mouth and nose.

I was just sponging down Rosalie's forehead when Alice and Victoria arrived. When Alice walked into the room, I couldn't help but admire how gracefully she moved even though she was roughly the size of a bus, she sat in the vacant chair by Roses bed.

"How's it going Rosy?" She patted Rose's arm and smiled.

"It going fine Pixie," Rose grunted, "if you get off of this kind of fucken sadistic torture, sorry Carlisle." I couldn't help but laugh; I looked up at Carlisle and saw a small smile playing on his lips.

"It's quite alright Rosalie, though I have to say you could teach a sailor a phrase or two, you definitely have a way with words. Anyway, you're only four or five good pushes away from meeting your first child."

I left Rose's side and joined Emmett and Carlisle at the end of the bed. I wanted to see the miracle of childbirth. Within minutes Rose gave birth to a daughter.

Emmett's face glowed with pride, you could see the light radiating from him; even through the light green colour of his skin, as he cut the umbilical cord, "it's a girl Rose; we have a little daughter." I smiled at Rose's elated sigh.

Within ten minutes, Rose had given birth to two more healthy daughters. I could tell how happy she was that she had daughters; it was always her dream. I did feel a little bit sorry for Emmett; he was as out numbered as I was.

I hugged Emmett tightly, congratulations 'Daddy O'. I'm really going to enjoy this Emmett, You, Daughters and Boys, revenge is sweet." I did feel a little bit guilty when I saw beads of sweat pop out on his forehead.

"Not now Bells, I don't ever want think about that…horny teenage boys will be a no-go in our house." I laughed loudly and went to hug Rose.

"So do you have names for these little Angels, sis?"

"Yeah of course I do, I've had names for them since I was a kid." I smiled at Alice, who rolled her eyes.

"So you're sticking with Daisy, Lola, and Bianca?"

"Yes; my first born daughter is Daisy Renee then Bianca Esme and Lola Victoria."

Victoria hugged Rose tightly, "Thank you Rose, I'm honoured you'd include both Renee and I. I know she'd be bursting with pride if she was here."

I left not long after, I was anxious to get home to Edward and the boys. I pulled out my cell phone and rung Esme to fill her in on all the details about her new granddaughters.

~~XX~~

Edward and I were just putting the boys back to Bed after their midnight feed when Jasper text me to say Alice was about to give birth to their first baby if I wanted to head over to their house. Alice was having a home birth.

I left Edward to burp Taj and headed over to support Alice. I was so glad this would be over tonight; I was desperate to move on from the whole childbirth thing. I smiled when I walked in to find Alice in a state of meditation on the bed, soft tribal music played in the background and hundreds of vanilla scented candles cast the room in a soft glow.

Alice had already given birth to a daughter before I arrived.

She smiled radiantly when I took her hand in mine, "I've got a daughter Bella; imagine all the cute clothes I'll be able to dress her up in." I laughed at her, only Alice would think about fashion while she's in the middle of childbirth.

I held her hand while she went back to meditation; I was elated when she had a son followed by another daughter.

"There you go Alice; two daughters to go shopping with and a son to keep Jaz Company on all those lonely days." Jasper laughed and gave me a quick hug.

"Yay…So do you want to know their names before you go?" I marvelled at Alice's energy levels even after giving birth.

"Yes, of course I do,"

"My eldest daughter is Tabitha Isabella, my youngest is Indigo Rose and my son is Phineas Whitlock."

"Those are lovely names Alice, well done sis you were amazing. I'm so proud of you. Sorry to love you and leave you but I really need to get some sleep and so do you, so I'll see you tomorrow ok." I kissed her cheek and hugged too gently.

I gave Carlisle and Jasper a quick hug each and headed for the door. I smiled to myself as I walked through the moonlit grounds toward my house. I could not help but be amazed at how Rose, Alice and I were all now mother's to our own sets of triplets. I was a little sad that Charlie and Renee were not alive to enjoy this with us but I was thankful we had James and Victoria.

I saw the light shining through the kitchen window, and quickened my pace; Edward was waiting for me in there with our boys.

The thought made my heart swell with love.


	41. Chapter 41 Milestones

**A/N: Thank you to those of you who took the time to review as always it's appreciated. In regards to the comment about me giving my babies black names I have to say that I found that offensive. and I'm interested in who has the right to define normal? Considering my triplets were born in Africa it only be fitting they had names from those regions. I will certainly not be changing them to 'normal names'(what ever the fuck they are) to appease anybody. **

**I have posted the Origins and Meanings of all the childrens names on my profile page...**

**So people I think this chapter has been a long time coming and I really hope you enjoy it:)**

**DISCLAIMER: S MEYER owns twilight, Lisa Lisa owns 'feels like love' and I own triplets and the right to call them what I like...**

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**CHAPTER 41: MILE STONES…**

Eight months had just flown by in a continuous haze of feeding, burping, dirty nappies and blissful happiness. My three bronzed haired boys could already roll over, sit up and each had a few pearly white teeth. Jamahl and Jahla both had my chocolate brown eyes, while Taj had inherited Edwards emerald green ones. They were all eating a range of solid foods, something I was grateful for, and each was developing their very own distinct personality.

Edward had spent every day of the last six months reading to and playing piano for our sons. He refused to do anything if it denied him the chance to spend time with us.

~~XX~~

I was out in the garden, lying in my bikini under the shade of a flowering cherry tree, Jamahl and Jahla were asleep above me in the custom built tree cradle I had Edward design so I could put the boys to sleep out in the cool breeze. I looked up with a smile when I heard Edward approaching he was carrying a sleeping Taj in his arms. He slipped him into the cradle next to his brothers and joined me on the blanket.

"Hi babe; how was it at Carlisle and Esme's? Was Taj good for his grandparents?"

"Of course, he cooed and smiled and had Carlisle absolutely doting on him. Carlisle and Esme are good, ecstatic, overjoyed, I don't think I've ever seen them this happy. By the way; remind me to thank Alice later for that choice of bikini; they get smaller and sexier every year. Oh and Esme asked me to let you know she's taking you, Rose and Alice out for a day of shopping and spa treatments tomorrow."

"Why?" My eyebrows arched in surprise. I had barely left the estate in the last eight months, I was quite content to stay nestled up here in our own little slice of heaven.

"Because she thinks you girls deserve a day out. I think you should go it will be good for you to get out and treat yourself." He rolled me on top of him, sweeping my hair from my face and kissed me softly.

"You know how much I hate shopping, though the spa treatments sound nice." I kissed along his strong jaw line.

"Just let Alice pick out everything for you."

"She does that anyway. Shopping with her would be ok if she wouldn't make me try on everything in the shop." He chuckled and moved his head slightly so his lips caught mine, he made his intentions clear in his kiss; his tongue caressed mine demandingly and I soon felt the familiar dull ache of longing in my core.

I pulled my lips from his and straddled his stomach; I lifted his shirt and rubbed my soaking bikini pants along his naked flesh, "can you feel what you've done to me Edward? My pants are soaked." I yanked his shirt up over his head and giggled when I heard his muffled growl.

"Fuck Bella." He hissed as tugged the strings of my bikini top, the tiny piece of fabric fell on to his stomach, revealing my soft breasts. His hands reached out to massage them, tweaking each of nipples into hard peaks.

I slid off his stomach and lay beside him on the blanket; I was desperate to feel him inside me. He pulled his shorts down while my hands roamed over his sculpted chest and ghosted over the hard plains of his stomach, I licked my lips as my fingers brushed along the small line of silky hair extending from his belly button. I smiled when he reached for my bikini bottoms and removed them quickly.

I parted my legs eagerly as he rolled on top of me; he slid into my wetness easily while his lips sought mine. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck, I wanted him close to me, I wanted to be connected to every inch of his body I could.

I repeatedly whispered," I love you Edward…Forever…" as he rocked against me.

"I love you too my Bella." I closed my eyes, enjoying the soft caress of the wind on my over heated skin and the smoothness of Edwards lips as they moved against mine.

I could feel the familiar flickers of pleasure building in intensity, I held off until I felt Edward begin to shudder from his orgasm, I let myself go, tightening my grip around his waist as our bodies shook in unison.

We lay entwined on the blanket for several minutes kissing and murmuring our love and commitment to each other, before a soft cry from above us brought us back to the present. I pulled on my bikini pants and stood up to check on my boys, they were still sleeping soundly, the same angelic look on their cherub faces.

"Still sleeping," I whispered to Edward as I bent down to retrieve my sun dress from the blanket. I slipped it over my head and returned to the blanket.

"I'll go and start making their dinner; you stay out here and read your book love. Call out to me if they wake up." I blew him a kiss and settled down on my blanket, enjoying the last rays of the slowly setting sun.

We slept in the nursery again that night; we kissed each of the boy's cherub faces before we curled up together on the day bed.

I awoke early and slipped out of Edward's embrace, I watched his sleeping form for a minute before checking my sleeping children. I pulled up their little crocheted blankets and smiled when I looked into each of their angelic faces.

I turned back toward Edward and was surprised to find him awake and watching me silently.

"Good morning love." He gave me a radiant smile and my heart melted. I jumped back into bed and into his warm embrace. I brought my lips to his, sighing when I felt the familiar tingle of electricity begin too flow between us.

Before we had a chance to let the kiss develop into anything else Jahla's soft cries broke the silence. Edward got up to him and brought him into the bed so we could cuddle up with him.

I was rocking Taj and Jahla while Edward dressed Jamahl; he was placing big wet kisses on his stomach eliciting the most delicious sounding giggles from him. Just as Edward scooped Jahla into his arms Taj spoke his first word.

"Dad,"

Edward and I looked at each other not sure if we'd heard right, "Bella did he just say Dad?"

"It sounded like it." Edward shifted Jahla onto his hip and bent down to take Taj from my arms.

"Dad;" There was no mistaking it this time. I looked at Edward who's Angel face was wearing a beatific smile. He leaned in and kissed Taj's forehead.

"Dad, Dad, Dad," Taj chanted. I was just getting to grips that Taj could say 'Dad' when Jamahl and Jahla started mimicking him, "Dad, Dad, Dad," Edward looked at me in awe. I smiled when I saw how proud he looked.

"Well baby they seem to have your name down pat, how about teaching them to say Mum while I'm out today." I Smiled at Edward who was passing me Jahla. He scooped up Jamahl, placing a soft kiss in his bronzed locks.

"I promise I'll have at least one or more of them saying 'Mum' by the end of the day. Now let's go and get these little munchkins some breakfast. We have big plans for the day and we haven't got a minute to spare."

"What big plans are those?" His words had sparked my curiosity.

"Oh… apart from teaching them how to say Mum, not a lot really, I was going to take the boys to see their cousins." I knew Edward was being evasive.

I didn't really have time to the press the issue because Alice bounded into the room and groaned, "Bella aren't you ready yet? Would you hurry up; Esme and Rose are waiting."

"Fine, here take your nephew. You can help Edward give them breakfast while I get ready." She took Jahla from my arms and placed kisses all over his face.

My heart melted when heard his giggles following me from the room.

I dressed in a light cotton dress that would be easy to slip on and off, years of experience had taught me it was easier than pulling my jeans on and off when Alice made me try on every article of clothing in every boutique in New York.

I barely got to kiss Edward and the boy's good bye before Alice was dragging me out the door. Rose and Esme were waiting for us in Rose and Emmett's driveway. I sat in the front of Esme's sleek black BMW and was surprised when we passed several unmarked van's following a florists van up the driveway.

I was expecting Esme to stop, but she glided the car passed them and hit the accelerator as we pulled onto the road. I was curious about the vans but no one mentioned anything so I let it go.

We spent the morning clothes shopping, for some inexplicable reason Alice had me trying on every evening gown and cocktail dress she could lay her hands on. When I was forced to try on the twentieth frothy tulle concoction in a row, I lost it.

"Alice," I hissed through clenched teeth, "why do you insist on dressing me up as Hollywood Barbie? I don't see the point since my social life is now non existent."

Her bell like laugh rung out through the dressing room, "well Bella; you never know when you'll need a beautiful dress. You have to be prepared for any occasion."

"Whatever, I'm sure you just do it to torture me for all those times I was mean to you when we were growing up," I scoffed and took the beautiful teal coloured dress she handed me, "By the way who designed this dress?"

"It's a 'World' design. I know how much you love Frances and Denise's work and the colour's perfect for you."

I instantly loved the dress, not only did the colour set off my pale skin and red hair; it hugged me in all the right places.

Alice seemed to agree that this was the dress for me because she could hardly contain her excitement and rushed out to find Esme and Rose so they could deliver their verdict.

Once it had been approved by the masses we headed for La Perla, Alice's favourite lingerie boutique. I couldn't help but get excited when I got in amongst the satin, tulle and lace.

I was so over having to wear those horrible maternity bloomers and comfortable unsexy knickers I was prepared to spend hours in here without complaint. Alice and Rose both smirked when they saw my undisguised enthusiasm. I poked my tongue out at them, "oh like you two aren't over wearing the 'Bridget Jones bloomers' as much as I am. "

"Amen to that sister. Honestly I refused to let Emmett see me in mine."

"Yeah and I never hung mine out on the clothes line in case Carlisle or anybody else should stumble upon them." We collapsed into a fit of giggles we all had tears rolling down our cheeks.

I hadn't notice Esme enter the dressing room until her sweet voice sounded in my ear, 'what's so funny girls?"

"Oh; we were just saying how we won't miss wearing those horrid knickers we've been subjected to for the last eighteen months."

Esme's soft laughter joined our own, "yes I remember feeling the same way. I remember having a ceremonial burning of mine. I can still remember the sound of Carlisle's cheer as he threw the last pair into the pyre."

"That was inspired Esme; and I shall be doing the exact same thing to mine tomorrow morning." She laughed a little harder and I joined in. I felt like I was really starting to enjoy myself.

We ate a long leisurely lunch then headed for the Versace spa for an afternoon of pampering. I was surprised when my therapist used a range of cinnamon based products as she bathed, buffed and polished me. I asked her about her the range and she told me Alice had requested she used the cinnamon range. I smiled to myself I couldn't help but think the original request more likely came from Edward.

Esme insisted that I have my hair and make up done as well, "But Esme," I scoffed, "what's the point? All I'm going to do is go home and put the boys to bed and spend the night curled up with a book."

"Actually Bella; you're going on a date with Edward tonight. Carlisle and I are going to watch over the boys."

"Oh… He never said anything about that. Are you sure you want to babysit?"

"Of course Bella; Carlisle and I love to watch the boys."

"Well then, thank you that sound's lovely."

I was feeling gutted when Alice and Esme wouldn't let me go home and kiss my boys goodnight, I milled around at Esme's place growing more impatient by the minute. I envied Esme when she excused herself to go and help Edward and Carlisle get my boy's ready for bed

"Bella; Edward will be here to pick you up at seven. Have a wonderful night and I'll see you later."

"Thank you Esme. Could you please give my boy's a big kiss from me. I miss them."

"Of course I will sweetie." She gave me and Alice a quick hug each before she left the room. I sighed as I heard the front door close behind her.

Alice stayed with me and fussed around with my hair and make up and I was glad when I heard Edward closing the front door. I was planning on complaining to him that I didn't really want to out again, but my breath caught in my throat when he walked through the door.

I was dazzled by his beauty and forgot what I was going to say. He was dressed in a classic black tuxedo, he was clean shaven and his bronzed hair glistened in the light.

Our eyes feasted on each other, taking in every inch of each others appearance.

Alice's high pitched giggle brought me back to my senses, "Are either of you going to say anything?"

I rolled my eyes at her and turned my attention back to Edward, "Hi gorgeous, what's the occasion?" I smiled as he made his way over to me and Alice slipped out the door.

"I just felt like spoiling you love, and you look so beautiful. I really love that colour on you." He slipped his arms around me and kissed me gently.

"You look incredibly beautiful yourself. Shall we hurry up and go so we can back home." He laughed and took my hand, leading me out the front door.

It was a warm still night, thousands of stars twinkled in the cloudless sky and the rising full moon was glowing gold as it rose above the horizon. I looked around in confusion for the car; Edward noticed and chuckled.

"We won't be using the car tonight love. " He started walking me towards our house and my confusion grew.

"Edward I don't understand I thought we were going out?"

"Have a little patience love I don't want to spoil the surprise."

"Fine, I won't ask." He laughed at my pout and leaned over to kiss me as we walked. He led me passed our front door toward the garden gate at the side of our house.

He led me up the garden path which was adorned with rows of Chinese lanterns to our private garden at the back of the house. II let out an audible gasp when saw our garden had been transformed into something enchanting, I felt like I'd just stepped into a fairy tale.

Thousands of fairy lights were threaded through the trees and twinkled like stars; the gazebo was covered in a mass of frangipani's, gossamer ribbon and fairy lights, "Edward this is amazing, beautiful…"

"I'm glad you like it love, would you care to dance."

"I'd love to dance." He led me to the gazebo where a small table and chairs was set up to one side, the silver cutlery glinted in the light, and a day bed covered in luxurious silk pillows He picked up a remote up off the table and pointed it at the sound system.

The music swirled around us, it sounded like it was coming from the trees surrounding us. He took me into his arms and pulled me close as we began to sway to the music.

I shivered in delight when Edward's smooth velvety voice sounded in my ear,

"_Some kind of change is going down  
_'_Cause I feel so lonely when you're not around  
__I keep on thinking bout your smile  
__And the way you truly make me happy all the time  
__My heart is falling for you  
__I can't explain how I adore you  
__Got me hopin got me thinking  
__That we're gonna be makin plans  
__just want to be around you baby  
__I can't wait_

_I can't wait until I'm back in your arms  
__Cause I miss you every minute your gone  
__Time is endless when you stay away too long  
__I can't wait because you feel like love_

_When I see your face everything feels all right  
__But when you're gone it's like I'm wasting time  
__Say the word And I'll be yours  
__Because I know exactly what I want and you're the one_

_Your heart is calling for me  
__It's sayin I'm not really  
__Got me hopin, got me wishin that you gonna stay in my life  
__And I know you want to tell me baby_

_I can't wait until I'm back in your arms  
__Cause I miss you every minute your gone  
__Time is endless when you stay away too long  
__I can't wait because you feel like love_

_Baby it's you I want by my side  
__Because nobody's ever made me feel the way I feel around you  
__You're one of a kind, one love for all time  
__I can't wait_

_I can't wait until I'm back in your arms  
__Cause I miss you every minute your gone  
__Time is endless when you stay away too long  
__I can't wait because you feel like love_

_You feel like love, you feel like love_

He twirled me around and pulled me back into his arms, his lips meeting mine in a kiss that melted into my soul.

My heart ached with a sense of loss when Edward broke the kiss. He pulled my seat out for me, kissing the top of my head when I sat down. I felt like I was dreaming the most romantic of dreams.

"I love you Edward; and thank you for this it's so magical, so enchanting so perfect." I was a little surprised when the woman who had served Esme and I at the country club, arrived at the table carrying two platters of sushi and two bowls of Miso soup. She served us our meal and retreated hastily, leaving us alone to enjoy the magic of our night.

"I love you too Bella and as enchanting as this garden is, it pales in comparison to how enchanting you are my love." He poured us a glass of sparkling grape juice each. I looked at him adoringly and saw my expression mirrored on his face.

We ate slowly without taking our eyes from each other, our feet stayed entwined under the table as we fed each other pieces of sushi.

We were barely finished our meal when Edward stood and took my hand, "Would you care to dance again my love?"

"I would love to dance." He pulled me in close, resting his hands on the small of my back, as Debussy's Claire De Lune swirled around us.

I was a little surprised when Edward dropped to his knee as the last bars of the sweet music fluttered in the air. He took my hand in his and looked up into my eyes. I was totally mesmerised by the depth of love I saw there and my breathing hitched.

"Bella, you are the Mother of my children, my best friend and the light in my soul, I love you with every fibre of my being and I want you to do me the honour of becoming my wife." He slipped his free hand into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box.

He popped the lid and there nestled on the velvet cushion was the most exquisite ring I'd ever seen. It was a huge square cut emerald, the exact shade of Edward and Taj's eyes surrounded by a dozen sparkling diamonds.

Edward was looking at me expectantly and I choked, "Yes of course I'll marry you." He slipped the ring onto my finger and stood up taking me his arms. His face was radiant as he stared into my eyes.

"Thank you Bella, you've made me the happiest man alive." He brought his lips to mine in a tender kiss, pulling me closer to him, as our lips moved in perfect Sync.

I sighed when Edward broke the kiss; he smiled as he led me to the day bed. We cuddled up to each other amongst the cushions, losing ourselves in our shared delirium as we kissed passionately and whispered words of love and commitment to each other.

I don't know how many hours later it was later when Edward pulled his lips from my neck and sighed heavily. I knew what he was going to say as he spoke, "as much as I'd love to stay out here all night and make love to you Bella, I think that we should go and relieve Carlisle and Esme of babysitting duties."

We took our time walking through the small garden to the back door and into the kitchen where Esme and Carlisle were having a cup of coffee. Esme took one look at our glowing faces and the ring on my finger and broke into a beautiful smile.

"Oh Edward, Bella, I'm so happy for you both." She hurried over to us hugging us both at the same time.

"Thank you Esme." Carlisle stood up and came to stand by his wife's side. He gently prised Esme off us so he could hug Edward.

"Congratulations son." He hugged Edward tightly and smiled warmly.

"Thanks Dad."

He let Edward go and took me into his arms, his face showed his genuine happiness for us. "I'm so happy for you Bella and I'll be proud to call you my daughter."

"Thank you Carlisle."

Esme and Carlisle left not long after, Esme making us promise we'd go for a celebratory brunch at their place tomorrow with the rest of our family. As soon as they were gone, Edward grabbed my hand and led me up the stairs we stopped to give our sleeping babies a kiss and carried on up to our room.

I was half way up the stairs when the sweet smell of frangipani's permeated my senses, I inhaled deeply. I broke into a wide smile when I saw the multitudes of frangipani's and candles that adorned the room.

Edward undressed me slowly, placing soft kisses on my naked skin. We slid between the sheets desperate to once again be in each others arms.

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**A/N: I hope you enjoyed that. I thought its about time Edward made an honest Woman of her:) Feel free to review:))**


	42. Chapter 42 Pinkie promises & Guest lists

**A/N: Thank you to Dodger McClure for reviewing my last chapter it's nice to know at least one person enjoyed the fact that Edward and Bella got engaged... This is really a nothing chapter and it's only real purpose is to get the information I need out there to set up for the ending of this story which is not too far away.**

**DISCLAIMER: You know and I'm tired of writing it so we'll just forget it.  
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**Chapter 42: Pinkie Promises and Guest Lists…**

We met at Esme and Carlisle's at eleven for brunch; it was a happy but chaotic occasion. Our family were ecstatic with our news but not surprised; it seemed I was the only one not privy to the secret. Edward and I had briefly talked in bed this morning and decided to have a small simple wedding, something casual that suited our personalities.

Of course I hadn't factored in Alice and Esme who combined were a formidable force. We had only just started eating when Alice started, "So Bells; I've picked out the theme, all the bridesmaid and flower girl dresses are designed and the fabrics been chosen. I've got sketches for a few dress options for you and I know what all the men will be wearing and I've partially drawn up the guest list for our side." Edward looked at me in alarm, and I knew I had to try and stop this freight train before it gathered to much steam.

"Hang on there Alice, let's just take a breath and back up a minute. Edward and I talked about it this morning and we decided that we want a small simple wedding with our friends and family." I noticed the slightly alarmed look that Esme gave Alice and the reassuring smile Alice gave her in return.

"Um…excuse me Bella, I obviously need to remind you of one pinkie promise that you made to me when we were six years old. You know the one in which you said I could plan your wedding for you. And since it's so conveniently slipped your mind I will recite the rules of the pinkie promise.

Rule number one: A pinkie promise constitutes a binding magical contract (therefore should never be entered into lightly)

Rule number two: There are no reneges or loopholes or take backs once you've made a pinkie promise.

Rule number three: A pinkie promise has no expiry date and is binding for life. So let's have no more arguments Bella, Esme and I have a lot of details to fine tune." I looked at Alice with a defeated expression, of course she was right there was no way I could back out of the pinkie promise it was the foundation of our triplet's code.

"Fine; but I want some say." Everyone but Edward laughed; I don't think he was too happy with Alice and Esme for high jacking our wedding.

Alice and Esme began planning immediately with Victoria's help; Rosalie flatly refused to help and told the pouting pixie to send her an invite letting her know when and where to turn up.

"Rosalie; you'll need to be involved in dress fittings and hair and make up rehearsals at the very least and I don't want any arguments or excuses." Alice had that familiar maniacal gleam in her eye.

Rose and I looked at each other and cringed, we were both horrified that the demon pixie had broken free of her restraints and had totally possessed Alice. And worst of all she was more manic than ever before.

"Whatever pixie, text me when you need me for hair, dress and makeup rehearsals and I'll be there." I could tell Rose's nonchalant attitude to my wedding was grating on Alice and I couldn't help but be secretly pleased with Rose's attitude.

"Oh you can be sure I will darling sister." I shook my head when I recognised the threatening edge to Alice's tone, Rose must have too because she gave me a slightly nervous look.

The men took that as there cue to leave the room and Rose followed, they took the kids out onto the lawn to enjoy the afternoon sunshine. I watched Edward and Carlisle play peek a boo with the boys through and longed to be out there with them, alas I was doomed to an afternoon of menu and flower choices and not much more.

Esme and Alice had obviously been working on plans for at least a few weeks already because they spoke in coded sentences that I couldn't understand and seemed to be in the advance stages of planning. I demanded Alice at least tell me what the theme was going to be but she told me to wait and see.

She did tell me that we were getting married on Christmas Eve, somewhere here on the estate.

"Christmas Eve, have you lost your mind Pixie? Christmas day's going to be chaotic enough without having a wedding the day before."

It was Esme who answered me, "there's nothing to worry about Bella; everything has been taken care of and everything will be ready for both the wedding and Christmas day." I stayed silent; I was rankled that I didn't have any say in my own wedding day.

I willed Edward to come inside and save me from this madness, he must have heard my silent plea's because he arrived in the kitchen a moment later, "Bella love; the boys are ready for a nap, are you ready to come home now?"

"Yes I'm not needed here; it seems that Alice and Esme have been working on these plans for at least a couple of weeks." He smiled at me a little apologetically. I scrambled to my feet and rushed to his side, eager to escape. He didn't muck around, as soon as I reached him he was pulling me out the door.

"Wait." Esme cried, "Take a copy of the gust list, you can add anyone we've missed." I took the stack of papers bearing the names of our guests and hurried out the door before they changed their minds and called me back.

Edward pushed the stroller while I perused the names on the guest list, I was happy with the family list but my breath hitched when I saw that Tanya's name headed the top of the friends list.

I spoke before I thought about what I was saying, "Edward who are Tanya, Carmen, Irina, Kate, Garrett and Eleazar Denali? I've never heard anyone mention their names but they're at the top of the list." My voice sounded pretty normal though I did pick up the slight quiver in it.

I watched Edward in my peripheral vision to gauge his reaction to my question, I noticed a slight stiffening of his body but his face seemed impassive when I turned to him.

"Carmen and Eleazar are old friends of Carlisle and Esme's, Tanya, Irina and Kate are their daughters and Garrett is Kate's husband. Personally I don't want to invite them but I can't see any way around it." The way he said it made me think he had spent time thinking about how he could prevent them from attending.

This sparked my curiosity, "Why don't you want them there?" I kept my tone light and conversational as we strolled in the late afternoon sun.

"Because I'm not close to them, they're more like acquaintances. Emmett, Jaz and I haven't seen the kids for about eight years, they live somewhere in Europe." I was a little surprised Edward passed Tanya off as an old acquaintance, I was under the impression they were more than that.

I didn't press the subject and leaned into him, "we could always elope if it get's to be too much." I was confused about Edward's evasion to admit he'd dated Tanya.

"Please don't tempt me love, I've already got half formed plans in my head to do just that, if I thought I could survive the Demon Pixie's attack I'd fly you and the kids to France and get married tomorrow with just the five of us." I smiled but stayed silent as we reached the front door.

I stole a covert look at Edward; he was looking pensive as he silently pushed the stroller towards the staircase. I wondered if he was thinking about his up coming reunion with the Denali's or at least one in particular. He took Taj and Jahla from there seats and carried them up the stairs, I followed with Jamahl.

While I tucked the boys in Edward headed for the piano. He played my lullaby first, then each of the boy's in turn. I joined him at the piano as he started Jahla's lullaby, letting myself get caught up in the beauty of the music. I leaned in and kissed his cheek as his fingers played the last notes of the melody. He turned and kissed the tip of my nose and took my hand.

He was silent as we headed down to the kitchen, he slumped into a chair at the table, and I headed for the coffee pot and made us each a strong cup. I handed him his mug and picked up the guest list, "Edward is there any way we can cut this list down, there's like three hundred names on here and I know less than a hundred of them."

He gave me a small smile, "I'll talk to Esme and try to get her to see reason. Let's just not think about it now."

"Um…Edward I don't think that's an option, Alice and Esme have chosen Christmas Eve as the wedding date, that's like four months away."

"Christmas Eve, are they crazy?" Edward shook his head in disbelief.

"Apparently because that's when it is."

"Well more power to them if they want to organise and clean up after a wedding on the most chaotic day of the year. Because we won't be doing anything but sitting back and watching them work."

"Edward we can't do that." I looked at him reproachfully.

"Yes we can, if we don't get any say then they don't get any help." I laughed at him and passed him a sheet of paper.

"Let's revise this guest list and fax it back to Esme, that way she can get over the shock before you talk to her."

Within the hour we had the guest list down to seventy of our closest friends and family, plus a handful of our parent's friends that we'd never get away with not inviting. I noticed Edward had written Tanya's name at the bottom of the new list and I wondered if he was trying to send his mother a message.

When we were both satisfied with who we wanted to spend our day with I faxed the list to Esme, the phone rung a few minutes later and Edward groaned and ignored it.

"Edward answer the phone, Esme knows we're home, we just faxed her."

Edward reached for the phone, "Hi mum what can I do for you?" I stifled my laugh, Edward grinned at me. I could hear Esme talking rapidly on the other end of the line and from the thunderous look on Edward's face it was clear she was insisting on the original list.

Edward pleaded our case but from the exasperated look he gave me I gathered he was not making any progress. I frowned at him when I heard him hiss, "Mum it's the revised list or we are eloping."

I smiled when he gave me the thumbs up. I felt elated that Edward had won us one victory in the war against the demon wedding planners from hell.

"Thank you Edward." I leaned over and kissed him as soon as he hung up the phone.

"Yeah well at the very least we should be able to decide who we want to spend the day with. Esme can wait for Alice and Jaz to get married to have her society wedding."

"That's a good point; the Pixie princess is so much better suited to that. I'll tell her that when she rings to complain about the revised guest list." I barely had time to smile at Edward before the shrill ring of the phone shattered the silence.

I picked it up with a sigh, "Alice don't even bother." Edward snorted and I repressed the giggle trying to escape my throat. I hit the speaker phone button so Edward could hear the conversation.

"Well hello to you to Bells." Alice's voice cracked like a whip down the phone line. She never gave me time to respond before she launched into her tirade. "Bella how could you and Edward do this too Esme? You've cut most of her friends off the list. You know her and Carlisle have attended the weddings of everyone of the children of the friends you removed from the list. I think it's very disrespectful of you and Edward to threaten to elope."

"Oh do you. Well I think it's disrespectful of you two not to abide by our wishes. Alice I don't want my wedding to be the society event of the year, I don't want to share the most intimate day of my life with a bunch of fucken strangers or have my wedding pictures splashed all over the front page of the New York Times society pages. I'm really sorry Alice but Esme will have to wait for you and Jaz to get hitched before she gets her society wedding."

"Oh for god's sake. Fine Bella; I'll relent on the guest list but I'm warning you now I will not tolerate any more forms of mutiny from you and Edward. I will not be changing one other aspect of this wedding, do you hear me? You may have won this battle but you'll never win the war so don't push me. I will be over in the morning to discuss dress designs, so Edward make sure you make yourself scarce. "

Edward rolled his eyes. "I promise I will demon Pixie. Now if you're finished threatening us I'd like to take my soon to be wife up to bed and ravish her."

"Eww… Edward I don't want to know."

"Bye Alice I'll see you tomorrow." I clicked the phone off before she could respond and laughed along with Edward, "I wonder when she turned into such a prude. Once upon of time she would have wanted to either see the sex tape or ask if she could have a go with you herself."

He looked at me and laughed harder, "Yeah that's true. Maybe she's been hanging out with Esme too much."

"Mmm… you could be right; but enough talk about the demonic duo, let's go to bed so the ravishing can begin." He smirked at me and grabbed my hand. Leading me up towards our little haven and my favourite room in the house.  
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**A/N: please review this story/chapter or any others... I have no idea if people even like this story it's frustrating...**


	43. Chapter 43 Share a Secret

**A/N: As usual thank you to those of you who took the time to review your feedback and comments are always appreciated please keep them coming and Hello and welcome to those of you who have recently begun following this story.**

**This chapter is mainly for Esme's benefit, Alice thought it might be nice for Esme to get to know Bella a little better :)**

**DISCLAIMER: You know the drill people....  
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**CHAPTER 43: Share A Secret…**

"Please Alice; don't make me wear this. I'm a mother of three and way too old to be going out in public dressed as 'Gutter Slut Barbie.'"

I stared at myself and cringed, I was wearing a tight black PVC halter neck top that finished just below my breasts, with matching hot pants that barely covered my ass cheeks, black thigh high studded boots with a ten inch stiletto and a black tulle veil pinned in my hair.

"Oh lighten up Bella, it's just for one night and it's going to be fun."

"Alice I don't want a stupid bachelorette party. I'm happy to be marrying Edward and it totally sucks when you can't even get drunk to hide the embarrassment of your clothes."

Alice's shrill laugh rung out around the room, "Oh bells, that's going to be the best part you'll remember this night forever."

"Did you ever stop to think maybe I don't want to remember this night especially the way I'm dressed. Did you ever stop to think what will happen when I fall over in these shoes and break my leg? You'll be sorry if I have to use crutches to get up the aisle."

"Hush your mouth Bella and don't say such things. Knowing you you'll jinx yourself and it will happen. Now let's get out of here before we're late."

"Where are we going exactly?"

"Out too all the bars in New York."

"Like fuck we are." I glared at Alice and she laughed at me.

"Relax Bells, I hired out that little Jazz bar you like, we're going to spend the night there." She linked her arm through mine and pulled me from the room. I was eternally grateful that my boys were asleep in bed and never had to have the image of their mother dressed as a two dollar hooker burned into their memories.

Edward's eyes darkened perceptibly and he let out a low growl when he saw me, "Jesus Alice, there's no way Bella is going out dressed like that. Fuck every guy in New York will be ogling and fawning all over her. That drop dead gorgeous body is for my personal viewing and pleasure only. "

Alice looked stunned for a minute then burst in laughter, "Oh lighten up caveward, we are going to a private venue and they'll be no males there."

"Yeah well she's not walking around like that, Bella honey grab your coat." Alice glared at Edward and he glared right back. I didn't think either of them was going to back down and I was rooted to the spot, I could feel the tension building.

I was surprised when Alice backed down, she never backs down, "Fine, Bella get your coat, we need to go or we'll be late." Instead of heading the coat rack I headed for Edward.

I slid into his open arms and kissed his neck, "thank you for trying with Pixie, that's why we were upstairs so long, I begged her for over an hour not to make me wear this. I promise you'll be the only man that gets to see me dressed like this."

"Hurry home to me love; I'm going to be a mess while I know you're out dressed like that without me." I pressed my lips against his neck.

"I know you'll spend the night pacing the floor; but you need to relax. There's nothing to worry about. I will wear my trench coat and I promise I'll be home as early as possible. Nothings going to happen, your Mum and Victoria are going to be there. They'll protect me from Alice. I'll leave to come home with Esme. Hopefully Alice will drunk enough by then not to notice."

I felt Edward relax slightly, I lifted my head from his neck and sort his lips, I was just getting into the kiss when Alice's shrill voice broke the silence, "Bella would you hurry the fuck up every one will already be there."

I kissed Edward for another minute, only pulling away when Alice yanked me out of his arms. She threw my coat at me and tsked impatiently. I barely got to say goodbye to Edward before she was dragging me out the door.

Alice talked manically the whole way into the city, I was barely listening to her my mind was back on Edward at home with our children, where I desperately wanted to be right now. I relaxed a little when we pulled up to the venue and I saw Esme's car in the car park.

As soon as we were through the door Alice was tugging my coat from my shoulders, I glared at her and tried to convince her to let me leave it on.

"No way Bella, you'll just have to suck it up and grin and bare it." I sighed and let the coat go, as she headed for the bar I headed for the table where I could hear my closest girlfriends and family were laughing raucously and chatting.

The girls let out a deafening cheer when they saw me, Rosalie howled with laughter but Esme's eyed me with slight disapproval. I guessed this was a totally different experience than she was probably used to. I was willing to gamble that none of her society friend's daughter in laws dressed like hookers at their bachelorette parties.

I slid into the empty seat next to Rosalie and scanned the table, it was already littered with several empty champagne bottles and a huge glass bowl sat in the centre. It was full of folded pieces of paper and I stared at it curiously for a moment before Alice caught my attention.

She stood up and shushed the table, "I'm glad to see you have already submitted your questions into the bowl, this is a little game I made up called 'Share a Secret.' So Bella; everyone has posted a question they want to know and you my darling sister have to share the secret."

I convulsed slightly and glared at Alice, she looked at me and her smile faltered, I excused myself from the table and headed for the ladies room, I was only just through the door when Alice entered behind me.

"Bella what's wrong?" I checked under all the stalls for signs that we weren't alone. When I was satisfied we were by ourselves I turned on her.

"Pixie are you insane? Do you think I want to reveal things about my past in front of Esme and my other unsuspecting friends? I would prefer to keep my skeletons in my closet."

"Bells it's just a bit of fun."

"Alice, I've successfully managed to keep the fact that I am an ex junkie from Esme and my friends, I would like to keep it like that."

"Bella, don't panic. I promise I'll screen all the questions, if I think they'll jeopardise your secret I'll remove them. It's too late to back out now Bells you'll just have to grin and bear it." She grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze before dragging me out the door and back to the table.

Alice took the bowl and started perusing the questions; she smiled wickedly as she read each of the pieces of paper. My breathing hitched when I noticed her hesitate over one question before adding it to the bowl. She plunged her hand and pulled a folded piece of paper from the bowl; and handed it to me with a smile.

I read the question to myself and gave a silent groan. If the tone of the first question was anything to go by then Esme, Victoria and everyone else in the room were about to get a first hand account of my sex life. Jess brought me from my thoughts when she urged me to read it out loud.

My voice shook as I began to read, "_How long had you known Edward before you had sex?"_ I glanced at Esme in embarrassment as I answered, "About a minute." Everyone except for Esme erupted into cheers and wolf whistles. I could feel the blush on my face deepening with every passing second.

"Bella you dirty little whore," Jess chided playfully earning her a disapproving look from Esme.

Alice passed me another sheet of paper, I looked over the question and squirmed in my seat, I sincerely hoped that Esme didn't share this information with Carlisle; it was going to be hard enough to look her in the eye after tonight.

"Hurry up and read it aloud Bella before I do," Alice chided as she took another mouthful of champagne. I looked at the glass in her hand and a certain longing filled me. I wanted to drink to hide my embarrassment and give me courage, but I knew that was a dangerous path to go down so I resisted the urge.

"_Where was the first place you and Edward had sex?"_ God my friends and family were perverted. I felt as sorry for Esme as I did for myself and smiled at her apologetically when she looked in my direction. "We first had sex in the first class toilets on a plane to Switzerland."

"That was a minute after you met right? Jesus Bella who would have ever picked you as a member of the mile high club, not to mention someone brave enough to fuck someone you just met." Thanks Lauren; I hissed as the table erupted into another round of raucous laughter.

I was so side tracked by Lauren I read the next question out loud without reading it to myself first, "_Have you ever French kissed one of Edward's brothers, if so which one? And who was the better kisser." _I was tempted to lie because of the way Esme was looking at me but I knew Alice and Rose would both call me out

I looked at Rose and Alice who were laughing so hard they had tears falling from their eyes and were clutching on to each other for support.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, "yes I have French kissed both of Edward's brother's and all I can say is Edward is the best kisser."

Esme never removed the frown from her face until Rose called over to her, "it's ok Esme, to be fair Alice and I have both kissed Edward using our tongue's it's nothing to be alarmed about."

She nodded her head and a warm smile spread over her face, "as long as everyone's kosher."

"I'm glad you're ok with it Esme," Alice chortled, "because Rose and I never miss a chance to French kiss Edward and Emmett never misses an opportunity to make out with Bella."

Esme looked at Alice in alarm, "but surely that will stop after Bella and Edward marry?"

"Don't count on it Esme, it keeps Edward on his toes." I couldn't help but laugh at Esme's stunned face, it was obvious she didn't approve of our kissing habits. Victoria on the other hand smiled at me cheekily. I knew she'd find the humour in it.

Alice passed me another slip of paper and I made sure I read it to myself before reading it aloud, "Have_ you ever made a sex tape with Edward or any body else?"_ Rose burst into a fresh round of giggles I sighed deeply, "Do you girls honestly want to know these things?"

"Yes;" Everyone but Esme yelled out in unison.

"Yes; I have made a sex tape with Edward." I avoided looking at Esme this time, I was so embarrassed I wished the ground would open up and swallow me.

Alice passed me another piece of paper, I looked at her pleadingly and she seemed to know what I was asking, "its ok Bells you're doing great there's only two questions left then you're home free."

"_Where is the most public place you and Edward have ever had sex and have you ever been caught?"_ I cast my mind back to the public places we'd had sex. I was about to answer when Rosalie beat me to it.

"Oh I know the answer to that one, the most public place they've had sex was central park. Remember Bella, that day we went to the park to play ball. You didn't think we knew what you were up to under that tree?" She laughed and mussed my hair, "but you can't fool us who know you and Edward best darling sister. I think Emmett's added that story to his wedding speech. And then there was that time in the lift, Emmett has the photos as his screen saver. "

I groaned and Esme choked on her champagne. Victoria rubbed her back, a smirk playing on her face.

Rose laughed and added, "Ok to be fair you've got less chance of catching them at it now they're parents. That's definitely slowed them down and now they're getting married that should be the death knell of their sex life." The whole table erupted into fresh laughter and I shook my head.

I couldn't wait until Rose and Alice both got married, I was going to show them no mercy in the games I made up for them, revenge was going to be most definitely sweet. I vowed to myself to go home tonight and plan the most humiliating things I could think of for those two evil hags.

Alice passed me the last piece of paper; she studied my face as I read the question to myself. My stomach lurched as I read the word's written in Esme's elegant script. I knew at once this was the question Alice had hesitated over and I couldn't understand why she didn't take it out. I looked over and she was watching me a little embarrassed but expectantly as well.

I took a deep breath and began mumbling the question, hoping half my friends at the table wouldn't hear, "_How did you get that unique scar on your neck and who gave it too you?"_

I took a deep breath and began speaking quietly and rapidly, "I got the scar after Edward and I took a silly game too far." Esme looked at me in shock but said nothing. I wanted to kill Alice for not warning me or taking the stupid question out.

I was grateful that the stupid game was over. I had never been more tempted than I was at that moment to get as drunk as I possibly could and try to blot this night from my memory.

Alice gave me a huge hug, "see it wasn't that bad Bella, no harm done," I shook my head at her but said nothing, "I've got one more surprise for you."

"What?" I grumbled I didn't know if I was up for anymore of Alice's surprises.

"I've hired a group of tattoo artists, they've just arrived, to give everybody tattoo's." I rolled my eye and sighed.

"Alice; do you think that was a wise idea? Haven't you noticed poor Esme's nearly having heart failure as it is? You don't think tattoos will push her over the edge?"

"Too bad for Esme if she doesn't like it. I think it's good for her to broaden her horizons and experience something different in life. And you know how hard it is for me to rein in my wild side."

"Pixie you don't have a wild side, you're wild too your core." She laughed and hugged me.

"So you're not mad about the tattooist's?"

"Nah I'm not mad and you're right it will be good for Esme to take a walk on the wild side." We giggled together for a moment before Alice stood up and announced that we were all getting tattoo's and started handing around books full of designs to choose from.

I had no idea what kind of tattoo I wanted and was still poring over the designs when everyone else started lining up to show there artist what design they wanted.

Alice approached me at the table, her eyes were shining with anticipation, "Guess what? I convinced Esme to get a tattoo, just Carlisle initials at the base of her spine, but at least it's something. Do you know what you're going to get?"

"I have no idea, any suggestions?"

"Yeah I have," she leaned over and whispered her suggestion in my ear, "It will go really nicely with aspects of the wedding theme. And I think you should keep it hidden from Edward, it will make a nice wedding present for him." I looked at her with a grin, my curiosity was burning as to what the wedding theme was but Alice had refused to tell me saying she wanted to see my face when I finally got to see it.

I did like her idea of not showing the tattoo to Edward until the wedding night. We had decided not to have sex this week and wait until we were husband and wife. I had moaned when Edward first suggested it but at least now I'd have a week to let it heal before he saw it.

It took a little over two hours to finish my tattoo I covered it with sterile gauze to stop it rubbing against my PVC shorts. When I returned to the table Alice was rousing up the group to head off to a new club that was opening a few blocks away. I saw Esme getting prepared to leave and decided to hitch a ride home with her.

I was grateful Alice didn't protest when I hugged her goodbye, I rushed to get my coat so I could undo my pants and relieve the pressure on my sore swollen skin. Esme and I spent the first part of the journey in a slightly awkward silence and I wondered what was on her mind.

I didn't have to wait long to get my answer, Esme cleared her throat. "Bella I'm shocked and appalled that Edward gave you that scar. He must have bitten you so hard to leave a mark like that."

"Esme, it's nothing to worry about it happened so long ago. It was just a stupid game that got out of hand. Edward was absolutely horrified when he realised what had happened. Please Esme its better just left in the past."

"If you say so dear;" I looked over at her and saw a frown marring her beautiful face.

I changed the subject hoping to distract her from her disappointment that Edward could harm me in such a way, "Did you have a good time tonight?"

"Ahh…yes I did, it was certainly different but fun. Your sisters are so much more exuberant than you, have they always been this wild?"

"They're not that wild Esme, they just like to have fun and if you'd seen how alcohol affects me you'd think my sisters were tame in comparison." Esme laughed lightly as she pulled into our driveway and dropped me in front of my house.

I leaned over and kissed her good night, I hurried into the house eager to get into Edwards arms. He opened the door for me as I came up the steps. I winced when he pulled me into his embrace.

He stepped back and looked at me, his eyes were full of concern, "What's wrong Bella, are you hurt?"

"No," I pulled open my trench coat and showed him the piece of gauze covering the tattoo on my right hip.

"Why are you covered in gauze love, did you fall over in those shoes and have to go to Accident and Emergency?"

"No baby, I got a tattoo, but you're not allowed to see it until the wedding night."

"You marked your beautiful skin, why would you do that?"

"Because Alice wouldn't take no for an answer, even your poor Mother didn't leave unmarked."

"You're kidding, my Mother got a tattoo?"

"Yes, your Dad's initials on the base of her spine."

"Well I never thought I'd see the day when my Mother got ink done."

"I know I think she even surprised herself." I let him lead me up to our room. I climbed into bed and tried to convince him to renege on his sex ban but it never worked.

I was still grumbling as I drifted into unconsciousness.  
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**A/N: The next chapter is the wedding... If you want your update soon you know what to do...REVIEW :)**


	44. Chapter 44 here comes the bride

**A/N: Thank you for all the kind reviews they are my inspiration please keep them coming. I still don't believe in fairytales but Alice certainly does so I indulged her and wrote a fairytale wedding scene. I hope you enjoy it. I added the wedding night as well I thought it was mean to make you wait.**

**Disclaimer: S Meyer owns Twilight, I own Triplets, Aerosmith owns Don't want to miss a thing and the Beautiful and Multi talented(and my muse) Mr Robert Pattinson owns I'll be your lover too.**

**CHAPTER 44: HERE COMES THE BRIDE…**

I never planned to break my sobriety rule especially on my wedding day but after hours of being scrubbed, buffed and polished by Rosalie and Alice I was desperate for something to calm my frazzled nerves.

If I was honest with myself, my nerves were due more to my impending first meeting with Tanya than the vigorous make over I had just endured, Alice gave me a glass of champagne which I accepted gratefully. I was only half way through it when she was tugging it back out of my hand and telling me it was time to get my dress on.

I was slightly nervous about my wedding, not about marrying Edward of that I was completely sure, I was worried about what theme the pixie had thought up. She had still refused to tell me but promised I would love it and I would be thanking her for the rest of my life.

Alice was just lacing up the back of my white silk dress when Esme and Victoria turned up with Daisy, Indigo, Lola, Tabitha and Bianca. My heart melted when I saw them dressed as little Christmas angels, their hair a mass of fiery curls, each wore an identical white dress and ballet slippers, with a pair of feathered angel wings and custom-made silver halo's.

I was glad all the kids could now walk; even though they were still a bit wobbly on their feet Alice had made sure they could walk the distance of the aisle. She left Esme and Victoria to put the finishing touches to my outfit while she and Rosalie went to get changed.

Esme and Victoria helped me out with the something old, something new tradition. Esme gave me a gorgeous antique lace garter belt that she had worn on her wedding day, she helped slide the delicate lace onto my thigh, smoothing out the creases in my dress with her hands.

Victoria gave me a pair of antique sapphire and diamond earrings that had belonged to my Mother, that she had worn the day she married my Dad. I tried not to cry when Victoria gave me a hug, "your Mum and Dad would be so proud of you today Bella. I know that they are here with you in spirit and that they would have loved Edward as much as James and I do. He's your perfect match and I'm so happy you found each other."

Just then Alice and Rose arrived back in the room carrying a large velvet box; Rosalie lifted the lid to reveal a beautiful diamond tiara that had a huge midnight blue Sapphire set in its centre. "Alice and I thought this was the perfect something blue, it's beautiful and it sparkles just like you."

I couldn't stop the tears from falling this time as I hugged Alice and Rose tightly to me, "I couldn't have asked for two better sisters than you. Thank you for everything. I love you both so much."

"We love you to Bells," I stood back and let Alice place the tiara on my head, once she had it set amongst my curls she declared me perfect. Esme and Victoria took the girls down stairs to wait for us as we fussed with the last details.

Alice and Rose both looked beautiful in their matching silver dresses; the material flowed like water and almost had an etherealquality, as did my shimmering white version. We were just fixing our make up when James entered the room carrying three bouquets of Christmas lilies wrapped in white gossamer ribbon.

"You girls look absolutely beautiful. Bella you're a vision my princess, Edward's one lucky man. Speaking of Edward, he is getting impatient for his bride. Are you ready to go?"

"Ready as I'll ever be." I smiled as I took James arm, I was about to walk out of the room when I noticed Alice texting furiously on her phone, "Are you coming Pixie?"

"Yes, I'm just setting everything in motion down stairs." I waited until she threw her phone down on Esme's bed and followed her from the room. We were at Esme's house because her' was closest to our venue, not that I knew where that was.

At least Edward would now know what the theme to the wedding was.

I followed Alice and Rosalie out the back door and through Esme's huge garden, toward the meadow just beyond her garden gate. I stopped where Victoria and Esme were waiting with my nieces. I gave them time to line the girls up, and to get to their seats.

Alice sent a signal to someone I couldn't see and the beautiful melodic sound of a choir began to ring out around us,

James and I followed Alice and Rose and the girls through the gate, James smiled when he heard my audible gasp. Alice had truly out done herself. I couldn't stop the tear from sliding down my cheek as I surveyed the scene in front of me. She had sectioned off a part of the meadow and turned it into what look to me like the Garden of Eden.

The whole garden was white, everything the trees, the doves that sat cooing in the trees, the flowers, the petal strewn carpet I was walking on, the fifty five strong choir dressed as angels and the twenty five piece orchestra. Mist created by dry ice, swirled around everything giving the illusion we were in the clouds. Actually, heaven would be a better description.

It hit me then that that was Alice's theme; Edward and I were a match made in heaven.

That wasn't the most amazing part though, as my eyes scanned for Edward I found him standing on a dais, the bottom of it shrouded in mist. He stood with his father, brothers and sons, bathed in the light of a perfectly formed rainbow that arched perfectly over the dais. They were all wearing white suits that were tinged purple, by the light of last layers of the rainbow.

I concentrated on the choir who were serenading me as I walked toward Edward; I listened intently to the words.

_You are so beautiful to me  
__You are so beautiful to me  
__Can't you see_

_You're everything I hoped for  
__You're everything I need  
__You are so beautiful to me_

_Such joy and happiness you bring  
__Such joy and happiness you bring  
__Like a dream  
__A guiding light that shines in the night  
__Heavens gift to me  
__You are so beautiful to me_

I reached the steps to the Dias, James kissed my cheek as I stepped up to take Edward's out stretched hand, his face was glowing with happiness and his eyes were sparkling with unshed tears as I stood by his side, "You look breathtaking Bella, just like an Angel."

I squeezed his hand and turned to the minister, our vows were short and personal, and our guests broke into a round of applause as the minister declared us husband and wife. Edward took my face in his hands and kissed me tenderly, I had to keep reminding myself we were not alone, as I pressed myself into his body and deepened the kiss.

When I finally pulled my lips from his I let out an audible gasp, our guests had released thousands of purple butterflies, who were fluttering around the garden. I watched as they danced amongst the guests, there tiny wings forming patterns in the air.

I scooped Taj into my arms as Edward picked up Jahla and Jamahl, placing feather light kisses on his cherubic face, "Mum, mummy." I held him closer and followed Edward down the stairs.

I took a deep breath as we were swallowed up by a sea of friends and family, I was barely aware of whose arms were trying to hug me around Taj. When it finally seemed I had been hugged and kissed by every one in attendance, the crowd finally stepped back and began to mingle.

A woman with strawberry blonde curls approached us. I recognised Tanya at once, and my heart began to beat a little faster.

She was smiling brightly at Edward, her eyes then lingered on Jahla and Jamahl tucked up in his arms. I was sure I saw an almost wistful look on her face as she continued to gaze at my children.

She returned her attention to Edward, she leaned in and kissed his cheek, "Ah Edward; it's so nice to see you again it's been far too long. And may I say your children are gorgeous and the spitting image of you."

"It's nice to see you again Tanya and you're right my children are gorgeous but they are more like their gorgeous mother who is now my gorgeous wife. Tanya may I introduce you to my Bella." I couldn't help but smile widely when I saw Tanya's smile falter.

It returned quickly as she turned toward me, "It's so very nice to meet you Bella; it was a very beautiful service." I looked at her full in the face and it occurred to me her smile looked forced.

"It's nice to meet you Tanya; and yes my sister Alice and Edward's Mum really out did themselves in organising this wedding." It didn't escape my attention that though I was speaking directly to Tanya her eyes kept wandering to Edward who was talking to Emmett and Jaz.

I excused myself from Tanya and went to find Alice, I had only just reached her when Edward came up behind me and whispered in my ear, "I can't wait to get you alone Mrs Cullen." He nibbled on my ear and I giggled.

Edward went to speak to some people I didn't recognise and I moved toward Alice.

I gave her a one handed hug, "thank you so much Alice, it really was the most beautiful wedding that ever was. You truly are a phenomenal talent and wasted on dressing prima donnas."

"You won't be saying that when I tell you that I got to dress your celebrity crush the other night. And I have to tell you, you are right, he is beautiful, talented and extremely humble. He could definitely rival Edward for the title of living sex incarnate; he's walking sex on legs. He's also got sex hair to rival Edward's."

"Not that we should be talking about the incredibly stunning Robert Pattinson on my wedding day Alice, I do have to tell you that I'm extremely Jealous that you got to touch that man."

"I know sweetie, how about I tell you that I've got you the best wedding gift a sister could give, I'm not going to ruin the surprise but you can think about that instead of how jealous you are." Alice's eyes sparkled as she put her finger to her lips as if to warn me not to speak.

I knew why when Edward came to stand by my side, "Alice, Esme said something about moving the guests down to the reception.

"Thanks Edward," she turned on the spot and gave an unseen person a hand signal, seemingly out of nowhere a dozen or so ushers all dressed in white began moving the crowd further into the meadow.

Edward the boys and I followed the crowd; I smiled widely and looked at Edward when we arrived at the far end of the meadow. Alice had set up a huge marquee made entirely out of a rainbow of brightly hued silk fabric. We took our seats at the head table.

After the dinner and speeches Alice looked over at me and winked, "Bells its time for you and Edward to have your first dance, this is part of my present to you." I looked at her questioningly, "You'll see." She mouthed.

I let Edward lead me to the dance floor I looked over at Alice and grinned as the first few bars of the song rang out through the tent.

_I'll be your man  
__I'll understand  
__I'll do my best  
__To take good care of you_

_You'll be my queen  
__I'll be your king  
__And I'll be your lover too  
__Yeah, yeah  
_

_Yes, I will_

_Derry down green  
__Colour of my dream  
__A dream that's daily coming true  
__And oh when the day is through  
__I will come to you and take you on  
__Your many charms_

_Yeah_

_And you'll look at me  
__with eyes that see  
__And we'll melt into each other's arms_

_You'll be my queen  
__And I'll be your king  
__And I'll be your lover too_

Edward pulled me closer to his body, "I promise to love you forever Bella; you are my life… my every thing."

I couldn't stop the tears from spilling down my cheeks, at not only at Edward's words, but because Alice had chosen my favourite song, and by the quality of the recording she had obviously gotten Robert Pattinson to record this personally for her.

"I promise to love you forever Edward; you are my light, my life, my soul."

Edward stepped aside graciously when Carlisle came and cut in, "Edward will you allow me the pleasure of dancing with my beautiful new daughter?"

"Of course Dad," Edward gave me a quick kiss and let me go, I smiled as Carlisle took me into his embrace. He was a fantastic dancer and we swirled around the dance floor effortlessly.

Edward was dancing with Victoria, and James with Esme, I couldn't believe how deliriously happy I was at that moment.

I was just making my way back to Alice when I noticed Tanya heading in Edwards direction. She tapped Victoria's shoulder and Victoria stepped back, only to be claimed by Carlisle.

I watched as Edward danced with Tanya; he looked slightly uncomfortable when she pressed herself closer into him. He took a step back but she persistently pressed herself closer to him as they moved to the music.

Alice drew my attention away from the dance floor, "did you enjoy your wedding song?"

"Yes thank you, you know that you're the best sister ever. How did you convince him to do that?"

"I saved him from a mob of stalker fans," I laughed and she joined me, "that's not all he's agreed to meet us for lunch."

You're joking?"

"No, I'm not. This is the other part of my present to you. But you can't tell Edward you know he'll go all Caveward on you."

I smiled at Alice and nodded my head in agreement, "yeah I know better than anyone how he gets. Thank you Alice."

"You're welcome Bella." She gave me a hug and went off to dance with Jasper, I returned my gaze to Edward and Tanya, she was talking a lot while they danced Edward didn't seem to be saying much.

The moment the music stopped Edward let, go of her. He left her in the middle of the dance floor and made his way over to me, "Do you think any one will notice if we disappeared. I really want to be alone with you Mrs Cullen."

"Well we need to put the kids to bed, that should work as an excuse."

"Nice one Bella, I'll go and them, they're asleep in their pram next to Phineas and Tabitha. You go and let Esme know, she's going to watch them tonight."

"Why is Esme looking after them?" I looked at Edward quizzically.

"It's a surprise and you'll have to wait a little longer to find out what it is."

He kissed me softly and I melted into his embrace I sighed when his lips parted and his tongue sort mine. I would have been happy to stay there and kiss him all night but he pulled his lips from mine and gave me a dazzling smile, I pouted petulantly and he laughed.

"Soon love; I promise."

I helped Esme settle the kids in the cot's she had installed for them at her place, she hugged me tightly as we made our way to the door, " I'm so very happy to have you as a daughter Bella, you and Edward are a perfect match."

"Thank you Esme, for everything, today was like a dream come true."

"For Edward as well, I've never seen him so radiantly happy, thank you Bella for agreeing to share his life and giving him everything he's ever dreamed of."

We made our way down stairs to where Edward was chatting to Carlisle his face broke into a dazzling smile when he saw me, "Are you ready love?"

"Yes." I walked to his side and slipped my arm around his waist.

"Let's go then, we've only got a few hours before we need to be back. And I don't want to wait a minute longer to see what you've been hiding from me all week."

Esme laughed, "Haven't you shown him yet Bella?"

"No; I've been holding out on him all week, to be honest I don't know how I succeeded, Edward has tried every persuasion he could think of to get me to show him, but I've actually managed to resist."

I let him lead me from the house; I didn't care where we were going, as long as we got to spend our first night as husband and wife alone.

** ~~~~XXXX~~~~**

**Wedding night…**

"Where are we going Edward?" We were just pulling out of the driveway and now that we were, alone my curiosity was burning.

"You'll see when we get there Mrs Cullen, don't be so impatient. It's only five minutes drive from here."

"Fine I'll stop asking and I'm glad it's only five minutes away because we only have a limited amount of time before we have to be back for the Christmas morning mad house at Carlisle and Esme's. Oh and remind me to take the Pixie and your mum on a shopping spree to thank them for giving us the perfect wedding."

"It was the most perfect wedding and you my gorgeous wife were the most perfect bride." I let my hand drift to his thigh, slowly letting it inch towards his crotch. I smiled widely when I felt his erection straining through his dress pants.

Before I could even reach for his zipper he pulled into the driveway of a quaint little cottage that sat on the beachfront, I looked at him in surprise, I had admired this cottage many times on the frequent walks on the beach we had taken over the last few months.

"What are we doing here?"

"This is one of my wedding presents to you love, I brought this house for you because I've seen the way you look at it."

"Thank you Edward." I leaned over to kiss him chastely and opened my door. I shivered at the cool breeze that blew through the warm car.

Edward met me at the front of the car and took my hand as we walked up the small shell pathway; he unlocked the door then scooped me up into his embrace and carried me over the threshold. My breathing hitched when I surveyed the room in front of me.

Hundreds of cinnamon scented candles lit the room, their tiny flames stuttering in the breeze casting shadows across the whitewashed walls. A trail of rose petals had been laid at our feet; I could hear soft music coming from a room off the lounge.

Edward followed the petal trail to the tiny bedroom, his lips never leaving mine as he navigated his way across the room. He never broke the kiss as he let my legs slide to the floor, his hands slid along the smooth fabric stopping when they reached my thighs.

His fingers gripped the delicate material of my dress, "you've got something I want to see." I raised my hands as he lifted my dress over my head. He tossed it to one side as he dropped to his knees.

A slow smile spread over his lips when he saw the tiny rainbow that adorned my hip, across the bottom sat the date of our son's birth. A small purple butterfly sat above the rainbow, with the date of our wedding etched beneath it.

Edward leaned forward and kissed each of the inks, "I love them Bella." His warm breath fanned out over my skin causing me to shiver. He placed a row of kisses across my stomach, his fingers hooking around the lace edging of my panties; he tugged gently watching as they slipped over my thighs and slide to the floor.

I helped him out of his jacket and tore the buttons from his shirt, desperate to have my hands on his smooth skin; he unhooked my bra and slid the straps from my shoulders. He lifted me into his embrace and carried me to the bed, laying me carefully in the centre.

We smiled at each other when we heard the first few chords of the song that began to play; Edward climbed on to the bed and took me in his embrace, I sighed when I heard his velvety melodic voice sound in my ear

"_I could spend my life in this sweet surrender  
__I could stay lost in this moment forever  
__Every moment I spend with you  
__Is a moment I'll treasure?_

_Don't wanna close my eyes  
__Don't wanna fall asleep  
__CauseI miss you baby  
__And I don't wanna miss a thing  
__Cause even when I dream of you  
__The sweetest dream would never do  
__I'd still miss you baby  
__And I don't wanna miss a thing_

_Laying close to you  
__Feel your heart beating  
__And I'm wondering what you're dreaming  
__Wondering if it's me you're seeing  
__Then I kiss your eyes and thank god we're together  
__I just wanna be with you  
__In this moment forever, forever and ever_

_Don't wanna close my eyes  
__Dont want to fall asleep  
__Cause I'd miss you baby  
__And I don't wanna miss a thing_

_Cause even when I dream of you  
__The sweetest dream would never do  
__Cause I miss you baby  
__And I don't want to miss a thing_

_I don't wanna miss one smile  
__I don't wanna miss one kiss  
__I just wanna be with you  
__Right here with you, just like this  
__I just wanna hold you close  
__Feel your heart so close to mine  
__And stay here in this moment  
__For all the rest of time_

"Thank you my love that was beautiful." I brought my lips to his, letting my kiss show the depth of my love for him, he groaned into my mouth as I pulled him on top of me.

His lips moved to my neck, kissing the purplish silver scar lightly, my legs encircled his waist pulling him swiftly inside me, we both groaned as he slid further inside my warmth. We lay there silently for a moment both of us revelling in the feeling of our union.

Edward's strokes were gentle and loving, each was punctuated with a declaration of love and commitment, our eyes never left each other's as we continued to rock together in our gentle rhythm. Whenever Edward got to close to his orgasm he'd stop his thrusts and let his lips roam over every inch of my skin they could reach.

I don't know how many hours we spent making love and exploring each other's bodies, I was vaguely aware of the lightening of the sky over the horizon when Edward finally built his pace, his strokes becoming harder and deeper with every thrust.

The difference in his strokes was enough to send me over the edge; I could feel my juices coating him as I pulled him against me, moaning his name against his chest.

"Bella…so beautiful…my wife…my best friend…my lover…my life…" Tears spilled from my eyes as I took in his words, his eyes sparkled as they gazed into mine and a dazzling smile lit up his angel face, "Welcome to the first day of the rest of our lives Mrs Cullen, I promise to love and worship you forever Bella."

"I promise to love and worship you forever." I kissed him tenderly then took his hand and pulled him from the bed. We wrapped ourselves in the sheets and made our way out onto the balcony.

Edward took a seat on one of the loungers, I sat in his lap and waited for the first rays of the breaking dawn to peek out from the horizon, Edward pulled my sheet from me his hands and lips caressed my body. I adjusted me legs so his waiting erection slipped deep into my warmth, I smiled against his lips as the first rays of sun washed over us, bathing us in it's fiery orange glow.

The sun warmed my naked skin as I rocked against Edward; I let my lips brush his ear and whispered, "Forever."

"Forever."

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed the wedding. I'd really like your feed back so please drop me a line.**


	45. Chapter 45 Christmas

**A/N: Thank you to all those who reviewed the last chapter I really appreciate your feedback please keep it coming. Sorry for the lateness in the chapter update, I've been busy co writing a new story with Greenaway(author of Edward's Clan, an awesome story) and I'm really getting into it and seem to lose track of time.**

** I thought I'd do a christmas scene because we haven't had one and I thought it would be nice, so I hope you enjoy it.**

**I'm Dedicating this Chapter to Greenaway for all the support she has given me. She is the only person apart from me who has read this story in its entirety and she has been kind enough to forgive me :)...**

**Disclaimer: Steph owns Twilight, Van Morrison owns Have I Told You, and I own Triplets...**

**________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

**CHAPTER 45: CHRISTMAS…**

We arrived back at the estate just as the sun was peeking over the trees that bordered the property, Rose and Emmett's house was quiet when we opened the door, I was only just over the threshold when Edward pulled me into his arms and kissed me passionately. My hands wrapped around his neck and I crushed my body to his as I melted into the kiss.

I jumped in fright and pulled my mouth from Edward's when Emmett's rumbustious voice shattered the tranquil silence, "fuck you two, didn't you get enough last night?"

"Fuck off fucktard we're standing under the mistletoe." I looked up and saw a bunch of fresh mistletoe hanging above us.

I turned in Edwards embrace ready to poke my tongue out at Emmett but ended up laughing aloud when I saw him dressed in novelty reindeer antlers and glowing red Rudolph nose.

"Well in that case…" Emmett strode across the room and tugged me out of Edward's embrace. He lifted me into his arms and gave me his usual long lingering kiss, "Merry Christmas Sis," he chortled as he pulled his lips from mine.

Edward's growl rumbled from his chest, I knew he was about to remonstrate Emmett for kissing me like that when Rose entered the room, she took one look at me in Emmett's embrace and rushed into Edward's arms.

"Merry Christmas Mr Sex on legs," she giggled as she brought her lips to his giving him her customary no holds barred tongue fest greeting. Emmett brought his lips back to mine, kissing me enthusiastically. I played along for another minute before breaking free.

I squirmed out of Emmett's arms and leaned in to hug Rosalie; I couldn't help but laugh at Edward's slightly stunned face. No matter how many times Rose greeted him like that he always managed to be slightly surprised at her more than enthusiastic greetings.

"Merry Christmas Rose," Edward murmured rather breathlessly when Rose finally let him go, "and I must say I like your Mrs Clause costume much better than fucktards lame ass Rudolph ensemble." Rose and I laughed; Emmett scowled and flipped Edward the finger.

"Do you really like my outfit?" Rose twirled around for him. She was wearing a red satin strapless dress with faux white fur trim. The dress barely covered her ass cheeks.

"Yes, you make one hot looking Mrs Clause; if I was Santa I wouldn't let you out of my sight especially in the elves workshop." I laughed loudly along with Emmett and Rose, though I knew Edward was only half joking. If he was indeed Santa and Mrs Clause dressed, like that, she'd be lucky to get out of the bedroom let alone the house and there'd be absolutely no question that she would be allowed within one hundred feet of the elves or any other male for that matter.

Before we had time to move from the just inside the doorway, Alice and Jasper strolled through the door. I grinned at Edward who was trying to control of his laughter when he saw what Alice had forced Jasper wear. And I was under no illusion that Alice forced Jasper to wear the forest green elves suit, because no man in his right mind would have done so willingly.

The green top finished mid thigh and by Jaspers naked legs I could only assume he refused to wear the matching tights, his tousled blonde hair peeked out from his green suede cap and his feet were clad in black patent leather periwinkle shoes. Alice on the other hand was dressed in a hot pink tutu and ballet flats, she held a glittery star wand in one hand and she was covered in a light sprinkling of silver glitter. Her eyes were made up in a thick layer of pink sparking eye shadow.

"Merry Christmas everybody, Ooh Yay mistletoe, get your sexy ass over here Edward or are we not allowed to kiss you anymore now you're a married man?" She looked at me expectantly and I laughed.

"Well Alice I don't know; isn't it about time to grow up, I mean Edwards a husband and father now." I smirked at her and she rolled her eyes and threw herself into Edward's arms. She crushed her lips to his.

Jasper and I looked at each other with a sense of trepidation, we both knew Alice would expect us to kiss each other under the mistletoe and neither of us was ready for that kind of intimacy yet. I was also worried about Edward's reaction.

Alice pulled her lips from Edward's but kept her arms around his neck, "Bella, Jasper what's wrong with you two? It's Christmas, there's mistletoe, why aren't you kissing already?" I looked at Edward and his eyes darkened perceptibly, I eyed him pleadingly, trying to convey my discomfort and warning him not to make a scene.

I looked at Jasper who looked petrified and my heart bled for him, we moved toward each other awkwardly, Jasper wrapped his arms around me, 'Merry Christmas Bells."

"Merry Christmas Jaz," our lips met and the familiar tingle was there, his lips were soft and gentle as they moved against mine, I kept my eyes on Edward as Jasper's lips became more insistent and his tongue sort mine. I let him pull me deeper into the kiss our tongues swirling together, when I thought Alice would be satisfied I pulled my mouth from his.

I looked into his eyes and they sparkled with happiness and love. I was sure I could see a trace of longing in them as well; I instantly disentangled myself from his embrace and made my way to Edward's side. I took his hand in mine and squeezed gently.

He pulled me into his arms and brought his lips to mine in a searing kiss that left me breathless, his lips moved to brush my ear, "my wife, mine forever."

I smiled as I brought my lips to his, "Forever."

"So who wants coffee before we face the chaos?" Rose chortled when we all groaned in appreciation; we followed her to the kitchen and shared a quick cup of coffee. We talked about how beautiful the wedding was and how we had, nonexistent New Years Eve plans.

We laughed and joked on our walk over to Carlisle and Esme's place. I looked at the faces of my smiling sisters and brothers and felt an overwhelming sense of love for each of them. I couldn't believe how blissfully happy and how perfect my life was. I'd married the man of my dreams and we had three beautiful sons, a perfect family.

I moved closer to Edward as we walked, sliding my arm around his waist. He placed a kiss on top of my head and kept me close. When we walked in the front door, we were confronted with the chaos.

Esme and Carlisle were trying to round up four miniature toy soldiers as they tried to make a run for the staircase, Edward bent down and scooped Jahla into his arms, I smiled when I heard his deliciously sweet giggles burst forth. I caught Jamahl as he tried to escape out the open door and Carlisle grabbed Taj and Esme retrieved Phineas from the stairs

James and Victoria were fairing a little better with Daisy, Tabitha, Lola, Bianca and indigo, they were all dressed as sugar plum fairies, each wore a pair of fairy wings and identical lilac lace dresses. James was holding Daisy on his knee while Victoria brushed her hair.

I giggled when I saw Daisy squirming in his embrace, out of Rose's three girls, Daisy was already taking on after her Dad, much to Emmett's delight. Emmett had already brought her a catcher's mitt and baseball bat.

I headed to the kitchen with Alice and Rose, we were going to prepare breakfast but when we arrived in the kitchen there was already massive piles of bacon, scrambled eggs, fresh rolls and Danishes, fruit salad, boxes of cereal and four iced cold jugs of orange juice.

We transported the food to the dinning room and then went to help organise the kids into the secure play area Esme had installed as soon as they could crawl. The conversation flowed easily over breakfast, I noticed Emmett was eating even faster than normal and was finished breakfast long before everyone else. He fidgeted in his chair and clicked his tongue impatiently.

I looked at Edward quizzically when he laughed loudly, "Still as impatient as ever, Emmett." Jasper laughed when Emmett scowled.

Edward looked at me, a huge grin on his face, "Every Christmas morning for as far back as I can remember, Emmett has scoffed his food and then sat and clicked his tongue impatiently, waiting for everyone else to finish so he can go and open his presents. I thought he would have grown out of it by now but I think it's too ingrained in his psyche. Jasper and I would eat really slowly just to wind him up."

Rose, Alice and I all giggled at Emmett's pouting face, even Esme and Carlisle chuckled.

"Yes, there were a few hissy fits thrown on Christmas morning if I recall." Carlisle eyed his son's affectionately.

When we couldn't handle Emmett's sulking any longer we made a move toward the huge Christmas tree standing in the corner, we waited for Edward, Rose and Jaz who had gone to get the kids. I shook my head when I saw what look like _hundreds_ of brightly wrapped gifts piled around the tree.

Carlisle and James videoed the ensuing madness as the pile of ripped paper grew ever higher, mostly courtesy of Emmett who was helping the kids unwrap there multitudes of presents.

I was a little concerned about the excessive amount of un necessary presents my kids had been brought by there Grandparents and thought I'd say something, "Gosh Esme; Victoria did you leave any toys for the other kids in the city?"

They both laughed looking slightly abashed; it was Esme who answered, "I know it seems excessive Bella, we've been waiting so long for grandchildren to spoil."

I couldn't help but smile at her, she was so sincere and her eye's sparkled like Edward's did when he was happy.

I was grateful when we finally finished un-wrapping all the gifts; I was just about to say so when Esme looked up shyly, "I've got one more present for the kids." Those closest to one scooped up a child and followed Esme outside into her mammoth garden.

I let out an audible sigh when I saw the play ground Esme had installed in one corner of the garden, it had swings sets and slides, sea-saws, climbing frames, a carousel with cars, motorbikes, unicorns and horses, a trampoline, a fort and a fairy castle. Esme had also added a barbeque area and plenty of adult spaces with hammocks and seated areas.

Edward heard my sigh and looked at me, "what's the matter love?"

I made sure we weren't in hearing range of anybody before I spoke, "God Edward these Kids are going to be so spoilt. Don't you think this a bit over the top, our kids have got enough toys now to see them through till adulthood, and this is only their second Christmas?"

"Don't worry love, we'll let the boys play with them a couple of times to see what they like and then we'll donate the rest to charity."

I instantly felt better, "that's a wonderful idea Edward."

We spent the day out in the playground; Emmett impressed us with his trampoline prowess while Edward pushed me on the swings. We ate dinner out on the deck just as the sun was slipping behind the trees. The garden was beginning to take on a magical quality in the twilight.

As soon as I was finished eating Edward stood up and grabbed my hand, pulling me up from the table, "sorry to have to love and leave you Mum but we need to get the kids home to bed and Bella and I had a late night, we really need to go."

We bade everyone a good night, packed the kids in the push chair and headed toward our house, we paused to watch the full moon rising above the tree tops before picking up our pace and hurrying home. The kids were asleep before we got to the front door; I smiled at their little cherubic faces so innocent in their sleep.

Edward pushed the pram through the door before sweeping me up into his arms and carrying me across the threshold, I entwined my hand in his bronzed locks and pulled his mouth to mine, our lips moved seamlessly and our tongues swirled in harmony as we melted into each other.

All too soon Edward was pulling his lips from mine, "would you like to go have a shower love and I'll put the boys to bed, I'll meet you under the mistletoe in twenty minutes."

"It's a date." I slid out of his embrace and took off for the stairs taking them two at a time in my eagerness to get back to Edward so we could share our first Christmas night as husband and wife.

I let the bathroom steam up before I got in the shower, the hot water felt good cascading over my body and I spent a few extra minutes revelling in the feeling. I hurried to dry myself and moisturise my body, I rifled through my lingerie draw looking for the perfect piece.

I settled on a black tulle baby doll Alice had brought me from La Perla. It was held together by a little satin bow that tied just under my bust leaving my stomach exposed, I chose the smallest pair of black tulle panties I could find which sat low on my hips and barley covered my ass cheeks. When I was satisfied with how I looked, I smeared on some of my cinnamon lip-gloss and hurried down the stairs.

I smiled when I heard the last bars of Jamahl's lullaby as I passed the nursery. I sped down the stairs and into the lounge, I quickly lit all the candles in the room and turned out the lights, I stoked the fire and loaded the sound system. I removed Edward's presents from their hiding place behind the couch and placed them under the Christmas tree, when I deemed the room perfect I went to wait under the mistletoe by the fireplace.

I was just warming my stomach when my body began to tingle with that familiar current that told me Edward was near, I turned and smirked when I saw him wearing his favourite Stoli T shirt that he'd had forever. I couldn't help but laugh Everytime I saw him in it. He'd sewed up the various holes it had with light blue cotton that didn't match the colour of the shirt and it had definitely seen better days. He refused to part with it though, he reminded me of a child who wouldn't give up their security blanket.

His low growl when he saw me sent a wave of desire through my body and I could feel the moisture pooling in my panties. He crossed the space between us in four long strides, his arms encircled my waist and he crushed his lips to mine. I threaded my hands into his glistening hair still damp from his recent shower, and melted into the kiss.

"I love you my Bella."

I love you my Edward."

He smiled against my lips then pulled his face from mine, "I've got a present for you."

"Really? I've got a present for you too." He let me go and moved to the Christmas tree, he pulled out a purple envelope with a yellow silk bow and passed it to me with a smile.

I indicated to the huge box wrapped in silver paper sitting at the back of the tree, his eyes shined in anticipation as he retrieved his gift and began tearing off the paper. I opened my envelope and gasped. There was a set of photos showing a beautiful stone farmhouse set in the hills of Tuscany. I knew it was Tuscany; by the fields of sunflowers and red poppies that surrounded the house.

"Edward I'd love to visit this house one day, it's such a gorgeous place."

"I'm glad you like it love because it's yours and we will most definitely be visiting it."

I stared at him in disbelief, "Edward, are you serious? You just brought me a house on the beach."

"I know, but I know it's a dream of yours to spend time in Tuscany and now we have a good excuse."

"Thank you Edward, I really love it and I can't wait until we can go and visit."

He gave me a dazzling smile and returned to opening his present, his eyes widened when he pulled the black guitar case out of the box.

He opened it quickly and gasped when he saw the white personally autographed Gibson electric guitar, "Thank you Bella, how did you get this? Did you know that the creator of this guitar died recently aged ninety one?"

"I did know that. That's why I'm grateful I have friends in high places." His smile dazzled me as he took the guitar from its case and ran his hand along the smooth fibreglass.

He strummed a few cordsbefore setting it down, "Thank you love."

"You're welcome; I have another gift for you." I reached under the tree and took a smaller box wrapped in the same silver wrapping paper.

A tear rolled from the corner of his eye when he lifted the lid and saw the black and white portrait photo I had taken of him asleep in the nursery with his newborn sons sleeping across his stomach, "Bella it's beautiful and so intimate and it's my favourite of all the photo's you've ever taken."

He leaned forward and kissed me softly then picked up the guitar and started strumming the chords of one of his Van Morrison songs.

My Breathing hitched as his soft melodic voice swirled around me.

"_Have I told you lately that I love you  
__Have I told you there's no one above you  
__You fill my heart with gladness  
__And you take away my sadness  
__You ease my troubles, that's what you do_

_Oh the morning sun in all its glory  
__It greets the day with hope and comfort too  
__And you fill my life with laughter  
__And you can make it better  
__You ease my troubles, that's what you do_

_There's a love that's divine  
__And it's yours and it's mine, like the sun  
__So at the end of the day  
__We should give thanks and pray to the one_

_Have I told you lately that I love you  
__And have I told you there's no one above you  
__You fill my heart with gladness  
__And you take away my sadness  
__You ease my troubles, that's what you do_

_You fill my life with gladness  
__Take away my sadness  
__You ease my trouble, that's what you do_

_I love you"_

"Oh my god Edward that was breathtaking, I love it when you sing to me."

"In that case I'll sing to you every night my love." He put the guitar down and crawled over to me, I sighed as his lips met mine and he pushed me back gently into the rug.

His touches were gentle as his hands roamed over my body, he untied the satin bow with his teeth, his low moan vibrated against my skin, my blood coursed through my veins bringing a soft rosy blush to my skin, his lips moved to my nipples sucking each of them into hard peaks,

He kissed a trail down my stomach moving to my tattoos he kissed each one lightly and sighed deeply. His warm breath fanned out over my skin making me shiver in anticipation of where his kisses would lead.

We made love under the mistletoe. There was no urgency or desperation to Edward's strokes, each was filled with his love and devotion and they resonated in my soul.

Our first Christmas night as Husband and Wife ended when Edward finally carried me up to our room and laid me in our bed.

I took a moment to count my blessings at how perfect my life was before I drifted off into much needed sleep.

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**A/N: I hope you enjoyed christmas at the Cullen's please review...**


	46. Chapter 46 weather the storm

**A/N: As usual thank you to those of you who took the time out to review I appreciate your feedback... Sorry the updates aren't as frequent but I'm busy co writing another story and it's taking up all my spare time at the moment. So anyway Tanya's back and she's a bitch...**

**DISCLAIMER: S Meyer owns Twilight... I own Triplets**

**The story skips three years…  
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**Chapter 46: Weather the storm**

I couldn't believe how fast time had past Edward and I had been married for three blissful years already; and the boys would be starting school in six short months. Edward had returned to work just after we were married, and I struggled immensely trying to care for three energetic and mischievous boys.

At times, I secretly envied Rose and Alice for having girls. Whenever I went to visit either of them, their little girls were always playing nice quiet games like having tea parties and playing house with their dolls. My son's games usually involved ear splitting noise and manic energy. Edward knew I wasn't coping very well and asked me if I'd like to hire a nanny. I refused point blank, my sister's seemed to be able to raise their children without the help of a nanny and I secretly felt like a failure as a mother when Edward suggested it.

Alice and Jasper got married a year ago, Rose and Emmett six months ago. Edward and I had visited Tuscany twice a year since he'd brought the house. I loved it as much if not more than the rainbow castle.

Life was good now the boys were older and much more manageable, Taj had taken after Edward in more than just looks he had also taken after him musically and they could often be found strumming their guitars or tinkling the ivories of the piano. Jamahl was good with languages we could hold reasonable conversations in both French and Italian and I planned to teach him Latin when he started school.

Jahla had an affinity with art he liked painting and drawing picture's he and Esme were taking a painting class learning to paint with watercolours.

~~~~XXX~~~~

I had just put the Boys to bed when Edward finally got home from work, he pulled me into his embrace and gave me a long lingering kiss, "how was your day love?" his lips were only a fraction away from mine and his sweet breath fanned over my face.

"Good we spent the day in the garden. Esme came over for lunch and spent the rest of the afternoon with us, she and Jahla started painting a landscape painting. How was your day? You look tired, are your brother's working you too hard?"

"I'll just go and say good night to the boys then I'll come and tell you about it." He kissed me again then turned and headed for the stairs. I served the dinner and poured two small glasses of red wine. I still didn't drink and neither did Edward but sometimes we indulged in nice New Zealand Merlot.

He smiled my favourite crooked smile when he returned to the room; he pulled me into his arms as kissed me sweetly before sitting down to dinner, "I had a long tedious day at work. We are starting a joint venture with Tanya and her father and it's been frustrating trying to get the project up and running."

My heart thudded in my chest and my throat constricted, I could see my fork trembling in my hands, I tried to make a conscious effort to stop it so Edward wouldn't notice. I had only seen Tanya half a dozen times since our wedding but it enough for me to know that I absolutely loathed the woman.

She moved back to New York last year and she had attended a few of Esme and Carlisle brunches with her parents. I noticed from the first one that she couldn't keep her hands off Edward, whenever she was close to him she'd touch him, his arm or his back and laugh girlishly whenever he said something funny. Edward didn't seem to notice, maybe this is how she's always acted around him and he was just used to it, I didn't know.

I tried to stop the revolted shudder from rolling through me at the thought of Edward working closely with that hideous hag; I took a calming breath, "Oh... What sort of project is it that you're working on?" My voice shook a little as I said it and the key was off but Edward didn't seem to notice.

"Just a few building projects, Tanya and her Dad are designing the buildings and Cullen Enterprises are going to build them. There have been a few teething problems to sort out, nothing major, it's just frustrating. Anyway it shouldn't take more than a few months to get the designs finished then it will be all systems go."

I couldn't stop the shudder from racking my body and I was glad Edward was looking at his plate at the time because he would have definitely noticed, I closed my eyes willing myself not to vomit or scream or just forbid Edward from going within a thousand feet of the vile creature.

Instead, I took a deep steadying breath, "well I hope it goes well for you." He smiled at me and I tried to smile back, trying not to let my worry and anger show on my face.

"Anyway enough about my day, how was your day?" I filled him in on all the things that we'd done during the day and he looked at me with a wisp of sadness in his eyes. I knew it hurt him that he was missing precious time with the boys before they started school.

After dinner we shared a bath, Edward massaged my feet in between placing soft kisses on my ankles. I tried to relax and enjoy the treat, but I found that I couldn't control the edginess I felt. I was preoccupied as Edward made love to me and I found it hard to concentrate on the pleasure he was bringing my body, though my body was responding my mind had its own agenda.

My mind finally caught up to where my body had been for the good part of the last hour and I finally found myself focusing on the familiar feeling of pleasure building in my core. I pushed my hands against Edward's chest as I rode him harder, bringing us both to orgasm.

His name fell from my lips as my nails ran down his chest leaving long red marks against his pale skin.

I curled up in his arms but sleep evaded me, I listen to Edward's slow steady breathing that told me he was sleeping peacefully. Now that I had come down from post orgasm high the fear had returned to take up residence in the pit of my stomach. I didn't know how I was going to cope with Edward and Tanya working closely together. While I trusted Edward whole-heartedly I didn't trust Tanya one bit. But I couldn't see any way of stopping it.

When Sleep finally claimed me, it wasn't peaceful, I tossed and turned all night and woke up in a cold sweat at least twice from the nightmares of Tanya trying to seduce Edward.

~~~~XXXX~~~~

The first week of Edward and Tanya's working relationship had me anxiously pacing the floor every night waiting for Edward to come home. He made it home early enough to bath and put the boys to bed but the second week was a different story. Edward was late home twice that week; apparently, Tanya wanted to go over some design concepts that could not be done in normal office hours.

I tried to keep my rising anxiety at bay by telling myself that I trusted Edward and that the kids and I were his whole world, but the fear kept gnawing away at me.

The following two months were almost torturous. Edward had been late home every night; he was never home before eleven. I couldn't fight my rising anger any more and as a result, my mood and Edward's were becoming increasingly sour.

I had given up on waiting up for him to come home at night, though I was aware of when he finally got into bed.

I felt him get into bed next to me, I opened my eyes and looked at the clock it was just before two a.m. He cuddled into my back but I moved away from him, trying hard to keep a check on my anger and my grief.

I heard Edward let out an audible sigh, "Bella are you awake? Are you alright love?" He sounded exhausted and a little confused.

"Yes I'm awake and No I'm not alright, I'm far from being alright." I tried to keep the venom from my voice but I couldn't still hear an edge to it and so could Edward.

"I know your upset love but I just can't do anything about it, we're just having trouble with the designs and they have to be perfect before we submit them."

"Well if Tanya's so incompetent at her job maybe you should fire her and hire someone who knows what they're doing and are capable of acting professionally enough to realise that there's a reason why businesses have office hours." The venom in my voice was at full strength when I spat out Tanya's name like an expletive.

"Bella, I can't fire Tanya. She's not incompetent it's just unforeseen problems, we just have deadlines to meet."

"Whatever Edward: if you think that the kids and I are worth the sacrifice then by all means carry on. Maybe you should just stay at the apartment until you're ready to make the choice between work and home. I heard his sudden intake of breath and my anger waivered.

"Is that what you want, me to move into the apartment?" I could hear the pain clearly in his voice and it broke my heart.

My anger was rapidly turning to grief and I couldn't fight the strangled sob that escaped my lips, "No it's not what I want. I want my husband to come home at a reasonable hour; I want our kids to be tucked into their beds by both their parents. I want to spend my evenings in my husband's arms not alone, I want to bath with you and get into bed with you at night not by myself. I want you back, I miss you, and the kids miss you."

"I'm so sorry Bella. I promise I'll be home early from now on. I miss you and the boys too. I promise when this project is finished I'll take you and the boys to Tuscany for a month." I wiped the tears from my eyes and turned to face him. He moved closer to me pulling me into his chest.

"Will you really Edward; will you really take us to Tuscany for a month?" My voice sounded thick and muffled as it reverberated off his chest.

"I promise love just you, me and the kids." He kissed the top of my head then pulled me from his chest so he could kiss me.

"Thank you Edward." I whispered into his mouth."

"Anything for you love," I rolled on top of him and pulled him deeper into the kiss, moaning softly as his hands fisted my hair.

I felt my tension leaving me as I melted into Edward, keeping my arms firmly around his neck as he rolled us over and hovered above me. I hooked my legs around him and pulled him into me we both moaned at the sensation.

I held him close to me as he thrust his hips forward. I was surprised when he started to build into a faster rhythm I could feel the sense of frustration leaving him as his pace became frenetic. It never took me long to reach the apex of my pleasure and I cried out his name.

Edward let himself go as my muscles clenched around his cock and I engulfed it in my juices, "Bella, my life…I promise you…you are everything, nothing could ever tear me from your side…I'm yours forever love…"

"Thank you Edward." As I snuggled into his arms and resolved there and then to weather the storm and not to let the virus that was Tanya infect our lives any further.

I drifted into a more peaceful sleep, though I did wake once after the Tanya nightmare, but I quickly went back to sleep when I breathed in Edwards scent.

**A/N: I only feel its fair to warn you thinks are going to take a turn for the worst... Please review this chapter and I'll make the effort to give you an update sooner rather than later:)**


	47. Chapter 47 Lost

**A/N: Thank you to those of you who took the time to review your feedback is always appreciated. I'm going to attempt an explanation because I don't imagine anybody is going to enjoy this chapter...First of all the next few chapter's of this story are my original plot line and the way I envisioned the story when the idea first came to me. This version of events is my preferred outcome and I make no apologies for it. After careful consideration and because of my infinate respect for my friend Greenaway and to thank those of you who reviewed this story I am going to write a much nicer altenative ending which I will post after the epilogue....(so please hang in there.)**

**DISCLAIMER: S Meyer owns twilight, Shihad own 'Run' AND I OWN TRIPLETS...**

**So sharpen your pitchforks, knives and daggers, light your torches and gather your mob... Oh and you might want a box of tissues as well:(**

**________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

**Chapter 47: LOST… **

Edward had not been late home once since he'd promised to take us to Tuscany and things between us were much better. Christmas and our wedding anniversary were only three weeks away and I found it was a welcome distraction from the fact that Tanya still hadn't completed the designs and was still working closely with Edward.

I was just putting a batch of cookies in the oven when the phone rung, I wiped my hands on my shirt and reached for the receiver, "Hello."

"Hi love how's your day going?" I smiled and my heart skipped a beat when I heard Edward's velvety voice in my ear.

"It's going very good actually; I'm attempting to bake cookies."

"Oh…good for you love, I look forward to trying them when I get home."

"So how's your day going? What time are you going to be home tonight?"

"That's why I'm phoning it totally slipped my mind that the office Christmas party is on tonight so I'm afraid I won't be home until late sorry love. But on a happier note the designs are finally done."

"Yay finally, I thought that was going to be the never ending project. But I wish you didn't have to stay for the party"

"I know I'm sorry it took so long love and that I have to stay late tonight. Anyway I'll see you in bed later ok."

"Ok, but don't stay out too late, I hate going to bed without you."

"I'll be home as soon as I can love, I promise. I love you Bella. Give the boys a kiss for me and I'll see you later."

"I love you too Edward. Bye." I felt overjoyed that Edward and Tanya's working relationship was finally over and I could finally get her out of our lives.

I lay my cheek against the cold wooden table and closed my eyes, I let my mind fantasize about all the things Edward and I could do in Tuscany now I knew it wouldn't be long until we could finally go there.

I didn't register the smell at first, I was too caught up in my fantasies; it was the smoke detector that alerted me to the disaster.

"Oh for the love of all that is fucken holy…Really God, am I destined to be the worlds worst cook? Actually don't answer that God I don't really want to know." I opened the oven door and stood back as a big cloud of black smoke billowed from the oven; I covered my mouth and turned it off.

I threw open all the windows and headed for the fresh air of the garden.

I spent the afternoon moping around outside with the boys knowing it would still be hours until I saw Edward again and that he would be at the party with that leech. I never heard Esme approach as I ripped a clump of weeds out of the garden with surprising ferocity.

I imagined it was Tanya's hair parting company with her scalp and allowed myself an uncharacteristic vicious smile.

"Bella are you alright dear? You look upset." Esme's kind eyes were full of concern.

"Yeah I'm fine thanks Esme, I'm just sulking because Edward's going to be home late tonight because of the Christmas party."

"Bella would you like me to watch the boys so you can go and join Edward? It's been forever since you two had a night out, go out for dinner or go dancing."

"Are you sure Esme?" I looked at her hopefully; I could feel my mood brightening with the prospect of going to meet up with Edward and being able to keep the bloodsucking skank away from him.

"Of course dear, you go and get ready and I'll take the boys with me." I gave her a hug then kissed each of my sons on their cherubic faces telling them I loved them and I would see them in the morning.

"Thank you so much Esme."

"You're welcome sweetheart. Have a nice night and I'll see you tomorrow."

I sped toward the city, driving faster than I would normally in my haste to get to Edward, I had a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach almost like a sense of foreboding, I shivered violently and my hand's shook as they gripped the steering wheel tightly.

It was nearing ten p.m. when I pulled into the car park of Cullen Enterprises and smiled when I saw Edward's silver Austin Martin in the it's usual spot.

I was met by Jasper's smiling face when the lift door's opened. "Hey Bells, how's my favourite sister?" I laughed at Jaz' appearance, he was wearing novelty reindeer antlers and glowing red nose. He hugged me tightly and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Yeah I'm good thanks Jaz. I thought I'd surprise Edward, have you seen him?"

"Yeah he's here somewhere. He's pretty drunk, he'll be glad you're here to take him home."

I looked at Jaz in surprise, "Edward's been drinking?"

"Yeah, Tanya and a few of the office girls were determined to get him drunk."

My throat constricted and my heart began beating triple time, the feeling of foreboding was intensifying in the pit of my stomach.

I fought to control the violent shudders trying to roll over me, "Excuse me Jaz, I need to find Edward." I walked away heading toward the cacophony of voices I could hear coming from the conference room.

I scanned the room and couldn't see Edward anywhere amongst the throng of partygoers, I checked every room on the floor that contained people and couldn't find Edward anywhere. It hadn't escaped my attention that I hadn't run into Tanya either.

I headed for the only place I hadn't checked, the room was dark when I opened the door to Edward's office but I could hear noise coming from inside. I switched on the light and let my eyes adjust.

Shock paralyzed me to the spot, I couldn't move and I couldn't immediately comprehend what I was seeing. I clenched my jaw to stop from screaming when I surveyed the scene in front of me. Edward was lying on his leather couch, his eyes were closed and he had a slightly agitated look on his face, while Tanya's face was buried in his lap.

She seemed to realise someone had entered the room because she pulled her lips from Edward's cock and turned to see who had interrupted her. She smiled widely when she saw me, baring all her teeth, "Oh...hello Bella."

"Slut," I spat out at her as I turned to leave. I was only just out of Edward's office when I ran straight into Jasper.

"Bella what's wrong?"

"Edward…Tanya…I've gotta go Jaz." I pushed past him and headed for the lifts. He must have gone into Edward's office because I heard him yelling as I mashed the keypad to open the lift doors.

Jaz' furious voice rent the air, "Get the fuck out of here you fucken low life whore. Edward wake the fuck up." I hurried into the lift and collapsed as soon as the doors slid shut.

I was so numb with shock I couldn't even find it inside me to cry, as soon the doors opened into the basement I stumbled toward my car, I had know idea what I was doing or where I was going all I knew was I had to get as far away from here as I possibly could.

I paid no attention to where I was going as I drove through the streets of New York; every now and then I'd make a random turn into another street. Every once in while I was brought back to my senses, when the shrill ring of my cell phone would rent the air.

I checked the caller I.D. it was Jaz, I threw the phone on the floor and turned the radio on loud so I could drown out the incessant ringing of the phone,

_On the rising tide  
__Rollercoaster ride  
__As the truth descends  
__You chose not to ride again_

_So you run  
__Whatcha holding on, holdin on to  
__Run  
__Life is going on  
__All around you  
__Run  
__Whatcha holdin on, holdin onto_

_You still love to dance  
__Love to take a chance  
__But something turned inside  
__And the dreams: they got left behind_

_So you run  
__Whatcha holdin on, holdin on to  
__Run  
__Life is going on all around you  
__Run  
__Whatcha holdin on, holdin on to  
__Run  
__Life is going on all around you_

_Don't want to have to make a change  
__Wouldn't want to exaggerate the pain  
__Go running and back to the old ways_

_So you run  
__Whatcha holdin on, holdin on to_

I turned down the music and reached down to retrieve my now silent phone off the floor, I checked through the numbers of the two dozen calls I'd missed and there was not one from Edward.

The image of Tanya in Edward's lap, her gloating smile when she saw me played across my mind repeatedly as if it was on a loop. I could feel the pain beginning to lash at my insides, clawing my heart to shreds.

I wasn't consciously aware of what I was doing when I flipped open the phone and hit speed dial to a number I hadn't rung in a very long while. I smiled when he picked up after the third ring.

"Hi Eric its Bella, are you in town?"

"Hey Bella, how are you beautiful? Yeah I'm in town."

"Can you fix me up? I'm in the mood."

"Sure I'll meet you outside the club, text me when you get here."

"Thanks Eric, I'll see you soon." I looked for a street sign to show me where I was as I ignored Jaz' call.

I was only ten minutes away from Eric's club, I tried to tell myself to remain calm that I'd soon have an escape from this pain as that image of Tanya and Edward swam before my eyes.

Eric was waiting for me when I pulled up outside the club, he slid into the passenger seat with a smile, Hey Girl glad too see you're back in party mode."

"Yeah well…Its hard to keep an eternal party girl locked up forever, she need's to stretch her wings every now and again."

"Hell yeah. So do you wanna try something new?" Eric looked at me excitedly.

"Sure, what you got?"

"Try this, its called an eight ball, it's a cocaine/ heroin mix and its guaranteed to cure what ails you baby."

I had never tried heroin before, but I knew its effects were similar to morphine and to a lesser extent pethidine.

"Yeah why not, I'm keen to try something new." I took the tiny bag of crystals and the single syringe still in its protective covering from him with a grateful sigh.

I smiled widely and leaned over to kiss his cheek, "thanks Eric, you're a live saver."

"No worries Bells. Just be careful ok, it's a pretty wild ride."

"Sure will, I'll see you round Eric."

I sped through the quiet streets to my central park apartment. I pulled into my car park and hurried over to the private lift that would take me directly to my floor.

I rushed into the kitchen to prepare the drugs, pushing everything else but my mounting anticipation from my mind. I knew I was being reckless but I didn't really care. My hands trembled as I drew the clear liquid into the syringe; I raced to the bedroom and climbed onto the bed.

Sweat broke out on my brow and my breath quickened as I drew my blood into the syringe and pushed down the plunger, empting the contents of the syringe into my blood stream.

I barely had time to register the rush of the cocaine when a more intense rush began to wash over me, making my body feel heavy, my eyelids drooped shut and I struggled to fight the crushing darkness that engulfed me, I took a deep breath and I was lost.

~~~~XXXX~~~~

**JASPER'S POV:**

I'd already tried calling Bella's cell phone over a dozen times and left her countless text messages that she hadn't responded to, I was petrified that what she saw in Edward's office would push over the edge and into a relapse.

The look of utter shock and horror on her face when she passed me would be burned into my memory forever. She had looked utterly broken, destroyed.

I'd never felt the inclination to hit a woman before but when I walked into Edward's office and saw Tanya draped over Edward I honestly felt like beating the slut to pulp. If Bella hurt herself because of this I was going to hurt Tanya in return, you know eye for an eye and all that.

I called Alice and asked her to meet me at Bella's apartment, I had a feeling that Bella would go there. I asked Emmett to stay with Edward and try and sober him up and to also call Carlisle and tell him what was going on.

I had no idea if Edward knew what had happened yet, but I couldn't worry about him now when it was Bella who needed my help.

Even though I had buried those strong feelings I'd had for Bella they still simmered away under the surface.

Alice still hadn't arrived when I pulled into the underground parking, my heart skipped a beat though when I saw Bella's car parked in her spot. I punched in the code for her private lift and spent the lift ride praying that she hadn't done anything to harm herself.

I pelted down the hallway and found the door to her apartment unlocked; I rushed into the room yelling loudly, "Bella are you here? It's Jasper I need to talk to you. Bella…BELLA…" There was no response from her anywhere in the apartment and I could feel the rising fear trying to engulf me.

I moved deeper into the apartment checking the kitchen first, when I saw the spoon and empty syringe packet my stomach dropped, "Fuck…BELLA…" I ran through the apartment calling out to her.

My heart beat quickened as I reached out to open her closed bedroom door. My hand rested on the door handle and I jumped when I heard Alice's voice calling out, "Jasper are you here?"

"I'm here Alice." I twisted the handle and threw open the door, my heart stopped when I saw Bella lying on the bed with the syringe still in her arm, she was foaming at the mouth and her eyes were closed.

I moved to the bed and pulled the syringe from her arm, "Alice call 911, Bella's overdosed." My breath caught in my throat as my fingers came in contact with her cool skin. I felt for a pulse and couldn't find one.

I started CPR, "come on Bella don't you dare die, Alice needs you, your children need you, I need you." I blew breath into her lungs then went back to compressions, pounding down on her chest trying to get her heart to beat as I willed her to breathe.

I needed Alice's help but I didn't want her to have to see this I knew it would haunt her forever. Her choked sob alerted me to her presence in the room, "Alice I need you to give her mouth to mouth while I do compressions. Is the ambulance on its way?"

"Yes and so is Carlisle, Emmett and Edward." She moved to my side and tilted Bella's head back; she pinched her nose and formed a seal around Bella's mouth breathing out three lungful of air.

"Check for a pulse Alice." Alice gave Bella three more breaths before her fingers sought her neck, "there's nothing Jaz. Is Bella going to die?" Alice's voice was a strangled whisper.

"Not if we can help it sweetheart." I heard the paramedic's entering the apartment and I yelled out to them.

I continued to pound on Bella's chest as they entered the room, Alice sobbed uncontrollably as she blew more air into Bella's lungs. I let the paramedics take over and pulled Alice into my arms as I watched the EMT continue to work on Bella's lifeless body.

"How long has she been like this?" One of the EMT turned to me as he continued to pump air into Bella's lungs.

"I've been working on her for about fifteen minutes; I don't know how long she'd been like that before I found her." They were just charging the paddles when I heard Carlisle and Emmett's voices echoing down the hallway.

"Alice, honey you need to go out there and help Emmett stop Edward from coming into the room but tell Carlisle to hurry."

She tore from the room, her sobs echoing off the walls as she moved down the hallway. I looked back down at Bella and a strangled sob tore from my throat, "Come on Bells, breathe damn it."

I could hear Edward yelling and struggling in the lounge and I could only pray that Emmett and Alice could hold him back.

Carlisle face dropped when he entered the room and saw Bella's motionless body on the bed, "what's she taken Jasper?"

"I don't know Dad but I'm guessing it's not Meth." I gasped when I saw Carlisle pull out a huge syringe with a ten-centimetre needle. He filled the syringe to the brim with a clear liquid and quickly plunged it into Bella's chest, emptying the contents straight into her heart.

I watched Carlisle as he waited for a reaction from Bella, after a minute I noticed the colour drain from his face and tears began to roll down his cheeks, "we need to call time of death."

"No dads not yet, please keep trying. What about Edward and the boys?"

"I'm so sorry Jasper but there is nothing more we can do for her. If she hasn't responded to the CPR or the Adrenalin then there's nothing more we can do for her."

Our conversation was cut short when I heard a resounding crash came from the direction of the lounge, before Carlisle and I could do more than give each other a puzzled glance Edward stormed into the room followed closely by Emmett.

Edward's blood chilling howl of grief and rage tore around the room, washing over me and sinking right into my soul. I tried to grab him as he lunged toward Bella but he knocked me out of the way, "Get away from her get way from my wife."

My tortured sob sounded in my ears as I watched Edward scoop up Bella's lifeless body into his arms and bury his face into her neck, "No Bella…Don't do this, I'm sorry… I didn't know…please Bella I need you, the boys need you. Wake up…I love you forever…mine forever…Talk to me love…Please Bella, please wake up…"

I couldn't bear to be in the room any longer, I stumbled into the hallway in search of Alice, as I entered the lounge I saw her curled up in the foetal position on the couch. She was laying still, her eyes staring in front of her but I could tell she wasn't seeing any thing.

I took a seat next to her, "Alice sweetheart I'm here. It's going to be ok." I shook her gently trying to garner a response, but she didn't make any sign that she'd heard me.

I leaned back against the couch and closed my eyes. I couldn't fight my own overwhelming grief any longer as images of Bella flashed across my mind; I let my relentless tears slide down my face and drip off my jaw.

I wasn't aware that Carlisle, Emmett and the paramedics had entered the room until I felt Carlisle hand on my shoulder. "Jasper son, are you alright. I need you to sit up so that I can check Alice." I heard what Carlisle was asking of me but I couldn't seem to get my body to move. I was paralysed in shock, fear and grief clawed at my insides.

I felt a bigger set of hands wrap around my shoulders and lift me off Alice, "Come on bro Dad needs to check Alice." Emmett's voice was a choked whisper, I leaned into him and his arms tightened around me in a crushing hug.

The last thing I remember is watching Carlisle sedate Alice, he must have sedated me too because I suddenly felt my eyelids grow heavy and I welcomed the waves of calm that rolled over me and carried me into oblivion.

The bright sunlight hurt my eyes when I finally forced my eyelids to open and quickly shut them again, my mind felt hazy and confused thoughts swirled around my head as I struggled to gain consciousness.

The first thing I became consciously aware of was the sound of breaking china and Edward's loud tortured voice echoing up the hallway.

"LEAVE HER ALONE…NO DAD YOU'RE NOT TAKING HER AWAY. SHE'S MINE, SHE STAYS WITH ME…BELLA WAKE UP…please love wake up so they don't take you away from me." Edward's words turned my blood to ice and pain sliced at my insides like razor blades, his pain added to my own and ripped my heart to shreds.

I looked down and Alice was lying beside me. Even in unconsciousness tears rolled down her cheeks and her pain was evident on her small elfin face. I wiped her tears away with my fingertips but more followed. I wanted to stay and hold her in my arms but Edward needed me more.

I stumbled toward the bedroom, I did not want to see Bella again but I knew I had to do what I could for Edward. Shock had me frozen in the doorway, Edward was struggling against Emmett's powerful bear hug, his arms uselessly pinned to his sides.

As soon as Edward's eyes met mine, he began pleading to me, "please Jaz help me, and please don't let them take my Bella away from me. I need her Jaz… I can't live without her…Help me, help me…please."

"I will help you Edward, but you need to calm down and let Dad give you something to help ease your pain."

"No way Jaz I need to stay awake so they can't take her from me."

"They need to take her Edward and you have to stay strong, you have three sons who need you now more than ever." I watched Edward closely as he began to register what I'd said.

His knees buckled and he slipped from Emmett's grasp and slumped to the floor, his eyes closed and his body heaved with the force of the sobs that wracked his body.

Emmett held him still as Carlisle administered the sedatives.

Carlisle must have given him a massive dose because his eyes drooped and fluttered closed almost immediately, he slumped against Emmett his face a mask of pain and like Alice tears still leaked from his eyes. I rushed forward and helped Carlisle and Emmett lift him onto the bed.

A sob caught in my throat as I looked down and saw Bella's beautiful face looking so peaceful. She looked like she was sleeping next to Edward. When the EMT moved toward Bella I left the room, I didn't want to see them covering her gorgeous face.

I headed to the bathroom and lay down on the cold tiled floor it felt good against my cheek. I don't know how long I'd been lying there staring at the side of the bathtub when Emmett's hulking form appeared in the doorway.

"Hey bro, they're taking Alice and Edward to the hospital do you want to ride in the Ambulance? Carlisle going to accompany Bella to the…" Emmett's voice cracked and I heard him swallow hard as he fought back the grief trying to force its way out of him.

I rode in the ambulance with Alice and Edward who were both strapped to gurneys and both were sedated. I looked over at Emmett whose face was in his massive hands, his sobs were silent but I could see the violent tremors racking his body.

I reached over and put my hand on his shoulder he never acknowledged me.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**A/N: So I'm guessing your all pretty gutted about now...and I am interested to hear your thoughts but please keep in mind that this is only a story... and you do have your very own Angel(Greenaway) who is such a sweetheart I find myself wanting to make her happy and I am therefore inspired to give you a happier alternative ending:) try to keep that in mind if you want to quit reading this story...Please review this story...**


	48. No waking from this nightmare

**A/N: First of all thank you so much for the reviews I was so impressed that you didn't give me the lynch mobbing I was expecting. I'm both happy and sad that I made you cry even though that was my intention(it means I'm doing my job right) I want you to know it was heart breaking to kill of my Bella especially after all she's been through. I did it because I wanted to explore what Edward's reactions would be to losing Bella. To those of you who don't think you can hang in there I implore you to change your mind this is the last chapter before the epilogue and then it will be the alternate ending. I need to give you a quick run down on what I have planned for the other ending in the hope that you will stay.  
So I plan for Bella to survive the drug overdose in order to explore repercussions of her actions on her relationship with others. THERE IS A CHANCE FOR EDWARD AND BELLA TO GET THERE HAPPY EVER AFTER...**

**DISCLAIMER: You know the drill  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

**CHAPTER 48: No waking from this nightmare…**

Alice woke not long after we arrived at the hospital, she looked around the room and I could see she was confused as she took in her surroundings, "Bella?" Her voice was hoarse and full of pain.

I stroked her forehead as I tried to fight back my tears, "I'm so sorry Alice."

"No, no, no Jasper; please tell me it's not true. I thought it was a nightmare." I cradled her in my arms trying to soothe her rising hysteria. I called the nurse when she began to hyperventilate.

"Alice honey, you need to calm down you're going to hurt yourself if you don't breathe properly." The nurse popped the oxygen mask on her face but she continued to gasp for air in between her sobs.

The nurse sedated her again, I held her tightly as her body began to relax and she slumped against me. I laid her back on her pillow and was headed for Edward's bedside when Rosalie entered the room.

Her eyes were bloodshot and swollen, her face contorted in pain, she took one look at Edward and Alice's motionless forms and burst into tears, "What happened Jasper? Why would Bella do this, she hasn't touched drugs since she got out of rehab, what would cause her to act so recklessly?"

She crossed the room and fell into my arms; I stroked her hair as she wept into my shoulder, "Its ok Rose."

"But why Jasper, I don't understand why Bella would do this."

"Edward got really drunk at the office party and went to sleep it off in his office. At some point Tanya found him in there. Bells arrived and walked in on Tanya giving Edward oral sex." Rose's head snapped up and she hissed furiously.

"What the fuck were they playing at?" Her beautiful face distorted in anger.

"Rose, Edward wasn't even aware Tanya was in the room, she took advantage of him. Edward could sue the skank for sexual assault. Anyway Bella just bolted, by the time I got out of the office and back to the lifts, she was gone. I tried to call her phone but she wouldn't answer, I had a feeling that she'd relapse. When I found her I tried to…but I was…" My voice caught in my throat and tears poured from my eyes, as Bella's glassy eyed stare swam before my eyes.

"Its not your fault Jaz you did everything you could. I can't believe Tanya, why would she do that?"

"Because she was Edward's first serious girlfriend, they were together from the last year of high school until midway through their second year at varsity. Tanya wanted too get married and have children but Edward refused and eventually broke up with her.

She didn't cope very well when he ended it and went a little loco and started stalking him until her sister's intervened and convinced her to go to Europe. Obviously she never got over it, the psycho slut."

"Fucken skanky whore, I swear to god Jaz if I ever see her again I'm gonna kill the bitch with my bare hands."

"Yeah well you'll have to wait in line because if Emmett or I catch up with her there won't be a lot left for you to do."

"How are Edward and Alice?"

"Alice is ok she's just in shock, but I don't know about Edward. I don't know if he'll survive this Rose."

I leapt to my feet and hugged Edward tightly when he called out for Bella, his voice was a rasp of pain, his eyes remained closed but tears leaked from beneath his lids. "I'm really scared of what he'll do when he realises there's no waking from this nightmare…"

"God Jaz we can't let him do anything to harm himself, those kids can't lose both their parents."

I looked around when I heard the door open; Carlisle took one look at us and rushed to our sides. He pulled Rose into his arms and hugged her tightly, "I'm so very, very sorry Rose."

Rose never said anything she just wept into Carlisle shoulder.

He looked over at me and his faced was etched with sadness and the usual twinkle in his eyes was gone, "How's Edward and Alice been?"

"Alice woke and had to be re-sedated, Edward hasn't woken yet but he has called out to Bella in his sleep. Dad I'm really worried about what Edward's going to do when he wake's up and realises this is real."

"I know son, so am I." I watched as he restrained Edward's arms and legs to the bed, he made sure each restraint was secure before he moved on to the next.

"Dad, when will Alice be able to go home," I could feel my voice shaking and Carlisle looked at me sympathetically.

"I will release her later today if she's well enough."

"Thanks Dad, Rose can she stay with you for a few days? I want to stay here with Edward."

"Of course Jasper we'll take her home with us. I'll get Emmett to bring some clean clothes and a toothbrush for you."

"Where is Emmett?"

"Having a quiet minute."

Carlisle sat with us as we waited for Edward to wake. I thought it couldn't be too much longer because his cries for Bella were becoming more frequent and more desperate.

When his eyes did finally flicker open, they were flat, dark and devoid of life.

I stifled my sob when he called out for Bella again. He turned toward Carlisle in confusion, "Dad where's Bella? Why am I strapped to a hospital bed and what's wrong with Alice?"

I wrapped my arms around my torso trying to hold myself together.

"Edward, son." Carlisle eyes filled with tears and his voice was barely more than a whisper.

"Dad what is it, what's wrong and where's my Bella?"

"Edward its Bella."

"What? What's wrong with Bella?"

"I'm so sorry son, Bella died of a drug overdose last night. We tried everything to save her but we were too late and nothing could be done." Edward stared at Carlisle as if he was insane.

I watched Edward's face as he realised Carlisle was serious. His scream of denial and grief echoed off the walls and rushed through my layers of skin and muscle right to my very being. I turned and threw myself down on his chest, my sobs mingled with his as he tried to break free from his restraints.

"My Bella, my wife. Why? Why would she do that?"

"I don't know Edward." I looked at Carlisle to acknowledge his lie.

"I can't…my beautiful Bella…how can I live with out her? I don't want to live…please Dad let me die…Please kill me now."

"Please Edward you need to calm down son. I know you are distraught but you have to be strong, you have three sons who need you now more than ever."

"Please Dad…don't make me…just let me die…" Edward continued to struggle against his bonds and I watched as Carlisle sedated him again.

As soon as Edward was asleep Carlisle turned to me, "I'm going to have to put him under twenty four hour suicide watch, he's taking it worse than I thought."

My stomach lurched as I registered Carlisle words; there was no way any of us would survive if we lost Edward too.

"I'll stay with him Dad; I'll stay by his side as long as it takes for him to accept this." My voice cracked and fresh tears leaked from my eyes.

I cried into Carlisle shoulder when he put his arms around me. I was barely keeping the overwhelming grief at bay and it was getting harder by the second.

~~~~XXXX~~~~

A week had gone by since Bella's passing and I hadn't left Edward's side. Esme was helping James and Victoria with funeral arrangements, Rose and Alice were looking after Taj, Jamahl and Jahla. Edward had spent the week in a catatonic state; his body laid rigid and motionless his unseeing eyes staring at the ceiling.

I had spent the week trying to garner a response from Edward but neither begging or shouting made any difference, he just continued to lay there.

I was half way through another pleading session when Carlisle entered the room. "Any change?"

"No." Tears stung my eyes when I heard how defeated my voice sounded.

Carlisle nodded and gestured to me to follow him from the room; I closed the door behind me with a deep sigh.

He echoed my sigh and his face was etched in pain, it made him look older and my throat constricted.

"Jasper we going to have to look at moving Edward to the psyche ward if he doesn't start showing signs of improvement in the next twenty four hours."

"No Dad we can't do that. I've been thinking, what if we bring the boys up to see Edward, he might respond to them."

"I think that's an excellent idea son, I'll go and phone Esme and have her bring them over. I think we should wait until Edward's reached some kind of acceptance before we allow Rose and Alice to visit him, I don't want to confuse him or agitate him while he's so fragile."

"I agree and Alice and Rose have both suggested the same thing. I think you should ring Mum now, I think the quicker this reunion happens the quicker Edward will get better."

Carlisle noticed the conviction in my voice and gave me a small smile as he pulled out his cell phone. I went back to my seat next to Edward, "hang in there brother helps on the way."

I was alerted to Esme's arrival when she tapped on the window and waved. I got up from my chair and grabbed Edward's hand squeezing it gently, "I'll be back in a minute Bro, don't go anywhere." I looked into his eyes but he didn't acknowledge me.

I hugged Esme and each of my nephew's; Carlisle was just about to open the door when Esme cried out.

"Carlisle; are you sure the boys are ready for this. They've been through so much already, I don't want to do further damage to them."

"I'm sure the kids will be fine Esme, they have shown remarkable strength since they learned the news about their mother." She sighed deeply and nodded her head.

Carlisle opened the door and Taj rushed passed him followed closely by Jamahl and Jahla.

"Daddy," Taj cried out as he threw his arms around his Dad and kissed his cheek. Edward showed no sign of recognition or if he'd even heard his sons greeting. My chest tightened and I felt like the lead weight in my stomach just got heavier.

"Hi Dad," Jamahl smiled at his Dad and mussed his hair before climbing up next to him. Jahla and Taj joined him on the bed and they all looked upon their father's motionless form. Carlisle removed the restraints from Edward's arms and legs.

"Dad, Daddy?" Taj shook Edward, trying desperately to get a response from him. I looked around when I heard Esme's half-stifled sob and she fled from the room. Carlisle followed her out, closing the door behind him.

I turned my attention back to Edward, he was still unresponsive and I was about to reprimand him when Jahla spoke.

"Dad; look at me," he grabbed Edward's face in his hands and leaned over him and looked directly into his eyes, "Dad I know you're sad that mummies gone to heaven, we are sad too. We miss you daddy and we want you to come home. Mummies in heaven with Grandpa Charlie and Grandma Renee so she won't be lonely. Please Daddy."

I approached the bed ready to give Edward a good shake or a slap until I noticed his eyes flicker into life and two fat tears slid down his cheeks. He reached forward and took Jahla in his arms and hugged him tightly, he pulled back and placed a kiss on Jahla's forehead before pulling all three boys into his arms.

He looked over at me and gave me a small sad smile, "thank you for being there for me Jaz."

I moved to his side and mussed his hair, "where else would I be? I'm glad you're back Bro, I've missed you."

"We missed you too Dad." Jamahl smiled radiantly and I could see Bella clearly in his features.

"I missed you too boys." Edward's voice was barely more than a whisper.

"Hey you guys why don't you go and find Grandma and Granddad and tell them Dads awake." They each kissed Edward and told him they loved him before they tore from the room, excitedly calling out for Esme.

"Are you alright Edward, can I get you anything?"

"Water would be good." I poured him a glass from the pitcher on the bedside table and helped him as he took small sips.

We looked at each other in silence for a few moments before Edward spoke, "is she really gone?" His voice shook and tears leaked from his eyes.

"Yes she is I'm so sorry Edward I did everything I could." His face crumpled in pain and a violent tremor shook his body as a tortured sob tore from his throat. I held him tightly as his grief washed over him.

"What am I going to do with out her Jaz? I feel like I died inside."

"I know Edward, but you need to stay strong for your boys, they need you now more than ever."

"How did they take the news?"

"They're devastated naturally but they are holding up remarkably well. Kids are lucky that they live their lives for the moment. They could teach adults a few lessons in resilience, that's for sure."

"Where is Bella now? Can I see her? I need to see her Jaz."

"She's at Mum and Dads place. You will need to talk to Dad about when you'll be able to see Bella and when you'll be released. However, Edward I want you too promise me that you are not going to do anything stupid or harm yourself in any way. You can't leave your son's orphaned." I registered the look of shock that flittered across his face as he thought over what I'd said and I was glad that my words had hit home.

"I promise I won't harm myself Jaz, my boys are my number one priority. I won't let them down."

We both turned toward the door as it swung open and Carlisle came walking into the room. His face broke into a wide smile when he saw Edward awake and acting calmly.

"How are you feeling my son?" I noticed the anxious tone of Carlisle's voice and gave him a reassuring smile as he approached the bed and pulled Edward into a hug.

"I've been better, but I feel ok physically, my muscles are just a bit stiff from lack of use."

"And emotionally?"

"I know Bella's gone and I know I have to stay strong for my boys. I want to go home Dad, I want to see my Bella."

"Do you think you'll be able to cope seeing her. You're in a pretty fragile state at the moment Edward. You don't feel this might be too much too soon for you son?"

"I don't know Dad. All I know is I need to be with my wife."

"Ok son. I will go and organise your release papers but before I do Edward you need to know that if you relapse and end up in a catatonic state or if I don't think you're coping I will have you placed in a secure psychiatric ward, if I think that's best for you. Do you understand son? I will also be giving you a shot of valium before you see Bella to help you stay calm."

"I understand and thank you Dad."

"You're welcome son. It's nice to have you back. Right I'll go and organise your release papers, I want you to go and have a shower and clean yourself up. I'll be back shortly to take you home. Now Edward are you sure about this, you don't want to leave it for a few more days?"

"I'm sure about this Dad; I've spent far too long away from her."

I looked at Carlisle in mild alarm he met my gaze steadily calming me with his look.

"Jaz can you help me into the shower please?"

"Sure Edward." I kept my gaze on Carlisle trying too silently convey my fears to him. I wasn't sure that Edward had got to grips with the fact that Bella was dead."

I helped Edward to get out of bed he swayed dangerously before he fell back onto the mattress. He sighed in frustration and stood again. I supported most of his weight as we staggered to the bathroom. I deposited him into the plastic chair by the vanity and went to turn on the shower.

"Jaz?"

"Yes Edward?"

We'll have to have a funeral for her wont we?"

"Yes Edward, Esme is helping James and Victoria with the arrangements."

"I want a private service with just our family and Jake, Mike and Jessica."

"Sure Edward what ever you say." I breathed a sigh of relief he to have accepted the fact that Bella was dead.

"Jaz; can you please ask Alice and Rose to dress her in her wedding dress with her tiara. I want her to be dressed so I can marry her again when I meet her in heaven."

I looked at him in alarm, "Edward; your boys remember. You promised you weren't going to do anything to harm yourself. Jamahl, Taj and Jahla can't afford to lose you too. Bella would want you to be strong for the kids Edward. It's what she'd do if things were different."

I watched him pensively and waited for him to speak I hoped I hadn't pushed his fragile emotional state too far.

"Jaz I promise you I won't harm myself. I would never do anything to hurt my boys. I just meant when it was my time to go."

I nodded and helped him into the shower, "I'll just go and get you some clean clothes and call Alice. I won't be long." I hurried and grabbed Edward some clean clothes and took them back to the bathroom before hurrying from the room to call Alice.

I was glad when Alice answered after the third ring.

"Hello."

"Hi honey."

"Hey Jaz how's Edward?"

"Better than he has been, listen Alice, Edward's coming home today too see Bella and I…" I stopped mid sentence when I heard her gasp.

"Jaz are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Carlisle talked to him and he will be coming with us. The sooner he see's her the quicker he can begin to accept what's happened and begin to heal. Anyway Alice the reason I called." I quickly explained Edward's requests and his reasoning behind them. I was grateful she agreed to both of Edward's requests without hesitation.

"Thank you Alice. I'll see you soon my pixie princess. Oh and Alice it might be better if Edward doesn't see you or Rose until after he's seen Bella. It might confuse him. I've got to go I'll see you soon."

I saw Carlisle walking toward me pushing a wheelchair. I waited for him so we could enter the room together. Carlisle broke into a huge grin when he saw Edward dressed and clean shaven.

"Are you ready to go son?"

"I think so. Where are my boys?"

"They have gone with Esme; they'll meet us at home." I helped Edward into the wheelchair then grabbed his bag as Carlisle wheeled him from the room.

~~~~XXXX~~~~

**Edward's POV…**

The first thing I noticed when Carlisle pulled into his driveway was Emmett sitting on the steps in front of the house with Taj, Jahla and Jamahl. I couldn't see Rose or Alice anywhere. My son's faces broke into identical smiles when they saw me in the car.

They all ran toward the stationary car, Jahla pulled my door open and he smiled wider, "hi Dad." I smiled at my youngest son as he tugged on my T Shirt trying to pull me from the car.

"Hi ya Tiger, how you doin?"

"Better now your home Dad." Jahla's words cut right through the haze and confusion to the black hole that was my heart and lit a tiny flame that was its only source of light.

Though I didn't want to admit my Bella was gone and all I wanted was to be with her, I had to face the reality of life without her and be strong for my boys.

I got out of the car and pulled my three sons' into my arms, I couldn't stop the tears from sliding down my cheeks when I realised how lucky I was to have them.

"Edward, you and the boys will be staying with us for a while. I'd like to get you settled in before you see Bella. There's no reason to rush things."

"Sure Dad what ever you say." Even though all I wanted to do was see my Bella again, I agreed to anything Carlisle suggested. I didn't have the strength to argue.

I didn't want to admit I was holding on to my sanity by my fingertips and I knew I was in no way ready to see the lifeless body of my wife, I just couldn't bear to be separated from her any longer.

_I have to stay strong for my boys_

_I can't let my grief consume me_

_I need to be strong for them, only for them._

I repeated the manta in my head as I slowly followed Carlisle toward the house. I fought against the overwhelming grief threatening to pull me into oblivion by concentrating on my son's who laughed and chatted excitedly while they all held onto me as I walked.

I couldn't help but marvel at their ability to live in the now and to find joy in life even in the darkest times. Their strength would be my strength, their courage would be my courage and I would survive this for them.

Esme was waiting for us in the kitchen when we walked in and she broke into a flood of tears when she saw me and rushed toward me pulling me into her warm embrace.

"Oh Edward…" She sobbed into my shoulder and I stroked her hair soothingly.

"It's ok Mum." I struggled to keep myself together as Esme continued to sob into my chest. Emmett noticed at once that I was about to lose it and gently prised Esme off me.

"Hey Bro let me take you up to your room."

"Thanks Emm."

He threw his arm around my shoulder and led me from the room, my boys followed immediately and all three of them held onto some part of me as we made our way up the stairs.

Emmett kept his arm around me as we walked, "I've really missed you Edward I'm glad you're home." He squeezed my shoulder before letting his arm fall to his side.

"Your room's right next to ours Dad, you can just go through this door here and it goes straight into our room." Taj rushed to the door that connected the rooms and threw it open.

"Hey that's cool son."

"Isn't it Dad? We'll be real close to each other now." I let Taj's words wash over me and found that the tiny flame in my black heart burned a little brighter and I knew I'd keep myself going for them. My three perfect son's half me half Bella. They were the result and my reminder of our love and my link to her.

I was brought from my musing when Carlisle entered the room he gave me a swift smile before turning his attention to his grandsons "Grandma says lunch is ready."

"Thanks granddad." Taj rushed to my side and hugged me tightly, "see you soon Dad."

"Yeah see you soon Daddy O." Jamahl giggled and Jahla joined in as they to hugged med before they followed Taj out the door.

"So Edward; how are you feeling?" Carlisle was looking me over appraisingly.

I tried to keep my voice even, "I…I…" my voice stuck in my throat and I took a moment to take a deep breath and recite my mantra in my head, "I'm ok Dad."

"Edward I'm going to give you some valium to help you keep calm." Carlisle pulled out a small vile and passed me two small tablets. I put them on my tongue and swallowed.

"Edward, we have scheduled the funeral for the day after tomorrow."

"Oh…Ok Dad whatever you say." I noticed the worried look Emmett and Carlisle shared. But I didn't want to think about that and was glad when I could feel the valium starting to fog my thought process. I sighed in relief when the barely endurable pain I was in started to subside into a dull ache then into numbness as I slipped further into my drug induced haze.

I welcomed the numbness, the escape from the pain that clawed at my insides leaving them raw shredded and bleeding. Escape from the tiny but loud voice in the back of my mind that keep telling me to end it now so I can go to heaven and be with my love, my life, my soul.

Carlisle watched me as my eyes glazed over and the full effects of the valium took over relaxing my rigid muscles and slowing my rapid breathing.

"Are you ready son?" Carlisle voice sounded like it was coming to me from far away.

I struggled against the meds to find my voice, "Yes I'm ready." In reality, I had no idea what the hell I was doing, or what was happening.

I followed Carlisle from the room and Emmett followed me Carlisle paused outside the door of Esme's front lounge, "are you sure you're ready son?"

"Dad, I want to see Bella."

I followed Carlisle through the door and was immediately assaulted by the sweet perfume of Bella's favourite flowers the room was fill of frangipanis of every different colour.

I looked around the room in confusion searching for any sign of my beautiful wife. My breath caught in my throat and I began to shake uncontrollably when I saw the open casket sitting on a low alter toward the back of the room surrounded by a sea of flowers.

I stumbled toward the ornately carved coffin and a low strangled sob tore from my throat. I looked down upon my beautiful Bella's lifeless body and reality crashed over me like a tsunami and I was lost.

~~~~XXXX~~~~

I woke in the darkness; I was confused and didn't know where I was. I could see a silhouette sitting in a chair beside the bed and after a minute I realised it was Emmett. I listened to his slow steady breathing and knew he was asleep.

I slid out of bed and headed for the door, I moved quickly and stealthily down the stairs and into Esme's front lounge. I hesitated briefly when I saw the casket illuminated by the light of hundreds of candles that burned in the room.

I moved deeper into the room drawn toward the casket as if I was being propelled forward by some magnetic force. I fell to my knees as I gazed upon my beautiful Bella. Tears fell relentlessly from my eyes and I was struck at how peaceful she looked, just like when she slept.

I leaned forward and pressed my lips to hers, I couldn't stop the convulsion from rocking my body, when my warm lips touched her cold unresponsive ones. My scream shattered the silence as my head slid to her chest and I couldn't fight the torrent of whelming grief from exploding from me.

"_Why Bella…why did you leave me…you said you'd never leave me…I love you...my soul…come back to me love…I can't be without you, can't breathe without you…Bella my beautiful wife…please wake up I promise I'll do what ever you want I'll give up everything just come back to me please."_

I could hear movement behind me but I never lifted my head from Bella's chest, I had finally moved beyond tears just before the room lightened with the breaking dawn and now I was just numb again. I was guessing my body and mind had shut down again to protect me. I was totally aware of my surroundings though and I was aware that there was more than one person moving behind me.

"Edward, son are you alright, can you speak?" I could hear my dad and I could speak I just didn't know what to say.

A pair of big warm hands moved under my arms trying to lift me from Bella, I clutched at her as I struggled to break free from Emmett's grasp. "No please…leave me here. I just want to stay here with my Bella." I felt Emmett's grip slacken and I rested my head back on Bella's chest.

I closed my eyes as fresh tears leaked from them and I wondered briefly when I was going to wake from this nightmare.

I didn't move again until I heard the low whispers of my son's from behind me, I lifted my head from Bella and turned toward them.

"Hi Dad, have you been saying goodbye to Mummy?" I couldn't find my voice so I just nodded and held my arms open.

Jamahl rushed into my arms followed closely by Taj and Jahla and I hugged them to me.

Taj brought his lips to my ear, "Mummy's ok Dad. She's an angel in heaven now like Grandpa Charlie and Grandma Renee so she won't be lonely. And we've got Grandma Esme and Victoria and Granddad Carlisle and James and Aunty Rose and Alice and Emmett and Jaz and our cousins so we won't be lonely."

I looked into the eyes of my son and smiled at the hope I saw in them.

My son's were truly my saviours.  
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**A/N: Please review this chapter your feed back helps me to become a better writer...**


	49. Chapter 49 EPILOGUE

**A/n: Thank you to those who took the time out to Review this story your feedback is my motivation. So we have come to the end of the original version of triplets... Thankyou to everybody who added this story to their favourites I DEDICATE THIS CHAPTER TO ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE STUCK BY EDWARD AND BELLA THROUGH THIS STORY.... ALTERNATE ENDING WILL BE POSTED BY THE END OF NEXT WEEKEND....**

**DISCLAIMER: YOU KNOW THE DRILL....  
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**EPILOGUE… New Beginings....**

Every year on the anniversary of Bella's passing; I took the boys on a holiday of their choice to celebrate their mothers and my wife's life. So far, we had been surfing, bungee jumping and ridden the shot over speedboat in New Zealand, hiked to the top of Ayres rock in Australia and checked out the rainforests in Brazil. Last year we went to Zambia, to the Village where Bella was born.

This year we were going to Tahiti to snorkel around their stunning coral reefs.

In the past five years, I'd managed to over come the almost crippling grief and though it drove me to almost insanity at the start, I was grateful to have Rose and Alice in my life. Over time it got easier and it was sometimes as if Bella was still around as she lived on in her identical sisters.

~~~~XXXX~~~~

I checked to see if each of my boys had buckled themselves into their seats properly before taking my own. I smiled as the boys chatted excitedly to each other about which part of the take off they enjoyed the most. Flying in the Cullen Jet was almost as much fun as the holiday, so Taj informed me on our last trip.

I looked at their ten-year-old faces alight with anticipation and couldn't help but feel a little sad at the small amount of time they'd got to spend with their Mum before she died. It was only a year and half ago that I finally learned the true circumstances of Bella's death. My first instinct had been to hunt Tanya down and gut her like the disgusting pig that she was but of course I knew that I couldn't, especially when I realised I couldn't be a good father to my children from a prison cell.

Carlisle and Esme had severed ties with Tanya's family soon after Bella's death, it was something I never understood at the time but I was eternally grateful for now I knew the truth. I knew I could never trust myself around that family of the whore who helped to kill my wife.

I shut down my thought pattern immediately before it descended down a dangerous path, dangerous for Tanya that is and refocused on my son's who were making their way to the cockpit to talk to the captain now the seatbelt sign had gone off.

~~~~XXXX~~~~

The heat was unbearably intense we stepped out of the cool air-conditioned airport terminal on to the street to look for our driver. I was distracted from my search by the sweet smell of vanilla on the warm breeze that blew along the street, and turned to see if I could trace the source.

My eyes met a pair of bright blue eyes that sparkled like the seas of the south pacific, she gave me a dazzling smile and I felt heat rising in my face. I averted my eyes and grabbed Taj's hand leading him to our waiting car.

As soon as the car arrived at our destination, Jamahl and Jahla had the car doors open and were sprinting for the green waters of the lagoon.

"Hurry up Taj," Jahla called over his shoulder as he followed Jamahl into the water.

"Go on son, go and join your brothers in the water. I'll join you soon."

"Thanks Dad." He leaned over and hugged me then raced to join his brothers in the water. I helped the driver carry our luggage; I smiled when I reached the boardwalk that would take us out to our bure set on stilts far out in the lagoon.

When I stepped through the door of our little thatched roof hut and smiled when I saw the glassed bottom floor and the bright flashes of the colourful reef fish swimming below me and I knew the boys had picked the perfect holiday destination for us. I threw the luggage on the bed and stripped off my shirt eager to join my boys for a swim.

I notice that there was only one other bure in the lagoon it was set about four hundred meters from ours, I wondered briefly if it was occupied. I was brought back to my surroundings when Taj splashed water in my face.

After a quick dinner, I allowed the boys to have another swim; I never joined them this time instead choosing to read a book on the warm sandy beach. I couldn't concentrate though as my thoughts kept straying to Bella. My heart still ached for her but time and our sons had healed me a fraction and I found the constriction in my chest lessened with each passing day allowing me to breathe a little easier.

When I woke, the room was silent and the sun was low but bright in the cloudless sky. I could hear laughter coming from the beach, I threw on some shorts and headed for the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and splashed some cold water on my face then went in search of my errant sons.

I was half way along the boardwalk when I noticed my sons were not alone, I hid my surprise as I got nearer them and noticed the vanilla scented woman from the airport deep in conversation with my sons. My eyes strayed over her taut body, she wore a green string bikini that covered only half of her pert breasts, and she had a flat stomach and long shapely legs.

I was shocked that I even noticed. I hadn't looked at another woman since I'd met Bella and certainly not since I lost her. My body almost convulsed when I felt my cock stir in my pants. Thank fully Jamahl noticed me approaching and smiled widely distracting from my impure thoughts.

"Hi Dad, glad to see you're finally awake. This is Heidi, she's staying over there." He pointed to the bure in the distance. "Heidi this is our Dad."

"Hi Dad." She gave me another of her dazzling smiles and my breath caught in my throat.

"Hi Heidi I'm Edward. I hope my sons haven't been bothering you?"

"Not at all Edward I was just telling them about the pod of dolphins that usually appear in this lagoon around lunch time every day and their quite friendly. I've swam with them many times." Her voice was soft and sweet like honey and I felt myself hardening a little at the sound of it.

"Dads is it ok if we go snorkelling with

Heidi while we wait for the dolphins, can we...please Dad. You could come too." I looked into the pleading faces of my children and couldn't find it in me too say no.

"If Heidi doesn't mind. She may have other things planned for today."

"No really it's fine Edward. I'm alone here anyway and it would be nice to have someone to explore the place with. Oh if that's alright with you of course." She ducked her head shyly and I was surprised to find that I found it endearing.

"Ok boys but you need to come home and have breakfast first."

Taj rolled his eyes and I couldn't help but laugh, "Dad we had breakfast over an hour ago."

"Fine; you go snorkelling and I'll go and have breakfast." I turned to Heidi and gave her a small smile, "are you sure about this Heidi I don't want to intrude on your holiday."

"Really Edward its fine. You go and have breakfast." She smiled again and my cock stirred in response. I turned and hurried back to the boardwalk.

I was desperate for a few moments alone to compose myself before my guilt overwhelmed me. I rushed through the door and threw myself onto the bed. I let the tears flow freely as I sobbed into my pillow, "I'm so sorry Bella."

I felt frightened and confused, I'd never wanted anyone else since I'd met Bella and I didn't understand why my body was reacting that way to Heidi. I felt like I was betraying Bella with my body's reactions.

Try as I might I couldn't seem to keep my focus on my memories of Bella, images of Heidi in that tiny string bikini kept intruding in my mind along with her sweet vanilla smell and her gorgeous smile. My cock was fully erect now and straining through the thin material of my shorts, I groaned in frustration and headed for the shower, I was hoping the cold water would calm me down but I felt my hand drifting toward my hard cock.

I stroked myself slowly, closing my eyes I expected to see Bella's face like I always did when I felt the urge to touch myself but too my horror it was Heidi's face and body that danced seductively behind my lids.

My cock throbbed as I increased my pace, unwanted images of Heidi's naked body entwined with mine spurred me on and my pace became frantic. I imagined I was pounding my cock into her, and when the image of my cock sliding between her plump lips filled my mind, I lost all rational thought. I called Heidi's name as I came into my hand.

When conscious thought caught up with me and I realised what I had done I sunk to my knees and leaned against the shower wall. I couldn't stop the waves of guilt and shame from crashing over me, "I'm so sorry I betrayed you Bella." I closed my eyes as my sobs rocked my body, and prayed the cold water would cleanse me of my sins.

I lay in the bottom of the shower until the water ran dry, I dragged myself out of the shower and threw on my shorts, I didn't want to have to see Heidi and be reminded of my betrayal but I couldn't leave her alone with my boys.

I grabbed a shiny red apple from the fruit bowl and made my way back to the beach. I could see the boys swimming with the dolphins while Heidi stood watching from the shallows. My eyes once again strayed to her stunning body, her sun kissed coffee coloured skin glowed with health and her lush brown hair that fell down her back; she was a vision of beauty. I sighed in frustration and she may have heard me because she turned in my direction and smiled radiantly at me as I approached,

I was struck again, at how beautiful she was and how she seemed too just radiate an inner glow that gave her an ethereal quality and had me drawn to her like a moth to a flame.

"Hi Edward." I let her honey sweet voice wash over me as I approached.

"Hi Heidi, I'm sorry I took so long, I hope my boys haven't been too much trouble."

"Not at all Edward, you have lovely children you must be so proud."

"Yes I'm very proud of them." Heidi sat down in the shallow water and beckoned me to join her, I did willingly eager to be closer to her light; if I didn't know, better I'd swear she was an angel.

We spent the morning talking as we watched my boys enjoying the company of the dolphins that had showed up just as Heidi had predicted I was surprised at how easy it was to talk to her and I found myself sharing information I hadn't even shared with my family.

Her eyes sparkled with tears when I told her about Bella and she reached out and put a consoling hand on my arm, my skin responded to her touch and my breath caught in my throat. My mind was struggling with the confusion I felt.

"I'm so sorry that you lost your wife Edward that must have been horrific for you and your son's." The depth of her compassion and the sincerity that rang out clearly in her voice struck me.

I learned that she was a chef in New York and she had lost her fiancé to cancer the year they were due to marry. When she shared her pain at losing a loved one I felt instantly bonded to her.

"Heidi, would you like to join us for dinner tonight. We are eating here on the beach; I promised the boys we'd build a bonfire.

"I'd love to join you and your sons, thank you so much." I was once again drawn to her smile and the way her eyes sparkled in the light. I felt myself blush when she smiled wider.

"You're welcome Heidi."

We spent the rest of the afternoon swimming and goofing around in the water, I stole covert glances at Heidi whenever her attention was diverted. She moved gracefully in the water her supple limbs gliding through the water as she dived down to explore the reefs below us. I was also pleased at how at ease she and the boys were with each other.

We gathered up a huge amount of wood and stacked it into a massive pile ready to set ablaze when we return to the beach later. We said our goodbyes to Heidi, the boys making her promise to come for dinner before they'd let her go.

I could tell by their excited chatter that they seemed to be just as taken with Heidi as I was and I wondered what sort of magic she possessed that she had enchanted us with.

I found myself staring restlessly out the window toward the bure down the lagoon counting down the hours until I would see her again and that scared the hell out of me. My heart and head were raging an internal battle between my feelings that I was betraying Bella memory and my increasing desire for Heidi.

The boys each threw a blazing piece of tinder onto the fire setting the huge woodpile alight they watched the rising flames excitedly for a few minutes before going to play on the shoreline. I waited with increasing excitement for Heidi to appear.

My heart skipped a beat as she walked out of the darkness and into the firelight, she was wearing a tight white T-shirt that hugged her perfect breasts and a pair of cut off denim shorts that expose her shapely thighs her feet were bare. A warm smile played on her plump pink lips and I wondered what it would feel like too kiss them.

"Hi Edward, this is an awesome fire." She walked toward me and I drunk in the sight of her, her lips shone with the sheen of her gloss.

She sat beside me and I was immediately engulfed by the sweet perfume of her vanilla scented skin. I smiled at her and poured her a glass of wine I held my glass up and toasted her.

Our conversation flowed effortlessly and we talked for hours with no pause between topics, the more I learnt about her the more I was enchanted. I found myself asking her more personal questions that she answered without hesitation.

It was when Jahla slipped into my lap that I realised how late it was. "Hey mate how about you go and find your brothers and tell them its time for bed. I'm going to walk Heidi back to her bure then I'll be back to tuck you in."

"Ok dad. Good night, Heidi thank you for spending the day with us today we had lots of fun.

"Thanks Jahla I had fun with you too."

"Heidi?" Jahla smiled shyly.

"Yes?"

"Can we see you again tomorrow?"

"If you'd like too."

"I would."

"Sure you can. I'll see you then."

"Thanks Heidi." I was shocked when Jahla leapt out of my lap and hugged her tightly. She giggled as she hugged him back the sound of her laughter was intoxicatingly sweet like everything about her.

"I think you have a fan." I chuckled as I stood up and brushed the sand off myself.

"I'm the fan." She stood up and brushed the hair from her eyes. I waited until I saw the boys enter the bure before I set off down the beach with Heidi at my side. It seemed like the naturalist thing in the world to take her hand in mine as we walked along the shore.

We walked in comfortable silence enjoying the sound of the tide surging against the shore. When we reached the edge of her boardwalk, she turned to face me, a shy smile played on her lips.

"Thank you for a wonderful night Edward I really enjoyed myself."

"I did too Heidi." I leaned forward and brought my lips to hers as my arms encircled her waist, I pulled her closer into me, her lips parted, our tongues caressed softly, and I could taste the intoxicating taste of her vanilla lip-gloss.

Her arms locked around my neck and I felt her melt into the kiss, I slid my hand along her spine and felt her shiver under my touch. I didn't want to break the kiss but I knew I would never want to leave her warm embrace if I didn't stop now. My body was already responding too her as she pressed herself into me.

I pulled away with a sigh and opened my eyes, her eyes sparkled in the moonlight and she wore a breathtaking smile, "I'll see you later Edward and thanks again."

"Good night Heidi." I jogged the short distance back to my bure trying to make sense of my jumbled thoughts that swirled around my head. When I walked through the door, I saw that the boys were already asleep.

I collapsed on the bed and tried to calm my pounding head. As much as I felt guilty for kissing Heidi, it didn't feel wrong when I held her in my arms and kissed her, it felt right. I closed my eyes and gratefully felt slipping toward unconsciousness.

I knew I was dreaming but the sensations felt so real. Even in deep sleep, I could feel myself reacting as if the scene playing out in my mind was real. Bella and I were in our poppy filled meadow in Tuscany I was lying with my head in her lap as she ran her fingers through my hair.

Her face was almost glowing with some kind of radiant inner light and she wore a beatific smile that filled me up with pure love that uplifted me and made my heart sing.

"Bella my darling I miss you so much…Heidi… I'm so sorry Bella I can't help myself." I felt ashamed about my feelings for Heidi as I lay in Bella's arms.

Bella's voice sounded in my head it was soft melodic and clear, "I love you too Edward. Heidi is my gift to you. I want you too be happy my love and I know Heidi can make you happy she's perfect for you."

"You're the one who's perfect for me. You're are my truest of true loves.

"I know I am Edward as you are mine. But you can love Heidi too she has a beautiful soul like you do."

"You don't mind if I fall in love with Heidi?"

"No I don't mind. Your love burns inside me and I'll be waiting for you but you deserve to be happy Edward and I want you too know you have my blessing."

"Thank you Bella. I love you." She wiped away the tears that spilled from my eyes with her fingertips.

"Thank you Edward for loving me I'll carry it with me always. Be happy Edward for me." She leant forward and brought her lips to mine as soon as our lips touched I was jolted by the same electricity that always flowed between us when we kissed only this time it was a concentrated shot of pure love and light and my lips burned with the intensity of it.

I awoke with a start, I could still feel the heat and tingling in my lips and I was aware that I was filled with a calm serenity. I thought back over the dream, Bella had looked so beautiful just like an angel she'd glowed with love and happiness and she had such a serene presence around her.

Bella had said she'd sent Heidi to me, she said she wanted me to be happy and Heidi could do that and I believed her. The more time I spent with Heidi the more I could see what a good match she was for me.

I closed my eyes and sighed deeply, I decided I was going to take a chance and see if I could indeed be happy again. I knew Bella would love me for all eternity as I would her but we would have to wait until we were reunited: for our love story to continue.

Heidi and I were married a year after we met in Tahiti with the blessing of both our families. Our daughter Madeleine Belle was born the following year.

Life was good and I counted my blessings in my life every single day…

**THE END…  
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**A/N: To those of you who are horrified by Edward remarrying, I felt he deserved to be happy....PLEASE FOR MY SANITY PLEASE REVIEW:)**


	50. AUTHORS Note: Triplets out take B&E

**A/N**: **Just a quick note to let you know I posted an out take of triplets. It is when Bella and Edward meet up in the afterlife. it's called, for all Eternity. You can find a link on my profile page and I'd like to thank 1Sarina for her inspired idea when she messaged me with the request to write this for her.**

**Triplets alternate ending is nearly completed and should be posted after the weekend**

**Light & Laughter**

**Cinnamon:)**


	51. Chapter 51 Repercussions

**A/N: As per usual thank you to those who took the time out to review the last chapter please keep them coming:) I was pleased at how many of you accepted that Edward deserved to be happy and coped that he remarried, also thank you to the few of you who reviewed 'for all eternity' I'm glad you enjoyed it.**

**This chapter explores the repercussions of Bella's actions on those around her…I will post the epilogue tomorrow and I promise you will get your happy ever after:)  
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**Repercussions **

I wasn't consciously aware of what I was doing when I flipped open the phone and hit speed dial to a number I hadn't rung in a very long while. I smiled when he picked up after the third ring.

"Hi Eric its Bella, are you in town?"

"Hey Bella, how are you beautiful? Yeah I'm in town."

"Can you fix me up? I'm in the mood."

"Sure I'll meet you outside the club, text me when you get here."

"Thanks Eric, I'll see you soon." I looked for a street sign to show me where I was as I ignored Jaz' call.

I was only ten minutes away from Eric's club, I tried to tell myself to remain calm that I'd soon have an escape from this pain as that image of Tanya and Edward swam before my eyes.

Eric was waiting for me when I pulled up outside the club, he slid into the passenger seat with a smile, Hey Girl glad too see you're back in party mode."

"Yeah well…Its hard to keep an eternal party girl locked up forever, she need's to stretch her wings every now and again."

"Hell yeah, so do you wanna try something new?" Eric looked at me excitedly.

"Sure, what you got?"

"Try this, its called an eight ball, it's a cocaine/ heroin mix and its guaranteed to cure what ails you baby."

I had never tried heroin before, but I knew its effects were similar to morphine and to a lesser extent pethidine.

"Yeah why not, I'm keen to try something new." I took the tiny bag of crystals and the single syringe still in its protective covering from him with a grateful sigh.

I smiled widely and leaned over to kiss his cheek, "thanks Eric, you're a live saver."

"No worries Bells. Just be careful ok, it's a pretty wild ride."

"Sure will, I'll see you round Eric."

I sped through the quiet streets to my central park apartment. I pulled into my car park and hurried over to the private lift that would take me directly to my floor.

I rushed into the kitchen to prepare the drugs, pushing everything else but my mounting anticipation from my mind. I knew I was being reckless but I didn't really care. My hands trembled as I drew the clear liquid into the syringe; I raced to the bedroom and climbed onto the bed.

Sweat broke out on my brow and my breath quickened as I drew my blood into the syringe and pushed down the plunger, empting the contents of the syringe into my blood stream.

I barely had time to register the rush of the cocaine when a more intense rush began to wash over me, making my body feel heavy, my eyelids drooped shut and I struggled to fight the crushing darkness that engulfed me, I took a deep breath and I was lost.

~~~~XXXX~~~~

**JASPER'S POV:**

I'd already tried calling Bella's cell phone over a dozen times and left her countless text messages that she hadn't responded to, I was petrified that what she saw in Edward's office would push over the edge and into a relapse.

The look of utter shock and horror on her face when she passed me would be burned into my memory forever. She had looked utterly broken, destroyed.

I'd never felt the inclination to hit a woman before but when I walked into Edward's office and saw Tanya draped over Edward I honestly felt like beating the slut to pulp. If Bella hurt herself because of this I was going to hurt Tanya in return, you know eye for an eye and all that.

I called Alice and asked her to meet me at Bella's apartment, I had a feeling that Bella would go there. I asked Emmett to stay with Edward and try and sober him up and to also call Carlisle and tell him what was going on.

I had no idea if Edward knew what had happened yet, but I couldn't worry about him now when it was Bella who needed my help.

Even though I had buried those strong feelings I'd had for Bella they still simmered away under the surface.

Alice still hadn't arrived when I pulled into the underground parking, my heart skipped a beat though when I saw Bella's car parked in her spot. I punched in the code for her private lift and spent the lift ride praying that she hadn't done anything to harm herself.

I pelted down the hallway and found the door to her apartment unlocked; I rushed into the room yelling loudly, "Bella are you here? It's Jasper I need to talk to you. Bella…BELLA…" There was no response from her anywhere in the apartment and I could feel the rising fear trying to engulf me.

I moved deeper into the apartment checking the kitchen first, when I saw the spoon and empty syringe packet my stomach dropped, "Fuck…BELLA…" I ran through the apartment calling out to her.

My heart beat quickened as I reached out to open her closed bedroom door. My hand rested on the door handle and I jumped when I heard Alice's voice calling out, "Jasper are you here?"

"I'm here Alice." I twisted the handle and threw open the door, my heart stopped when I saw Bella lying on the bed with the syringe still in her arm, she was foaming at the mouth and her eyes were closed.

I moved to the bed and pulled the syringe from her arm, "Alice call 911, Bella's overdosed." My breath caught in my throat as my fingers came in contact with her cool skin. I felt for a pulse and couldn't find one.

I started CPR, "come on Bella don't you dare die, Alice needs you, your children need you, I need you." I blew breath into her lungs then went back to compressions, pounding down on her chest trying to get her heart to beat as I willed her to breathe.

~~~~XXXX~~~~

**Bella's POV**

A strange beeping noise broke into my consciousness and my eyelids fluttered open, the bright light stung and I blinked rapidly before closing them again. My head felt heavy and my brain felt hazy I had no idea where I was of what had happened, I tried to swallow but my throat was dry and sore.

I opened my eyes again and my senses finally caught up with me and I realised I was in the hospital and the annoying beep was the heart monitor I was connected to. I turned my head to the left and saw Edward was sitting in a chair beside my bed, his yes were closed and dark circles shadowed the skin beneath them and his face with thick with growth.

Tears flowed from my eyes as the enormity of what I'd done crashed down over me, I had acted recklessly and nearly paid the ultimate price, I had nearly killed myself and left my children without a mother. I tried fight against the guilt and shame that was threatening to engulf me but I was broken and had no strength left for anything, it took me a second to realise the sound echoing in my ears was the sound of my own strangled sob.

Edward's eyes snapped open and was at my side stroking my forehead soothingly, "Sssh love its ok your alright, I'm here, your safe now, every things going to be fine." Edward's voice choked in his throat and I turned to look at him.

Tears slid down his cheeks and his hands trembled, I wanted to wipe his tears way but I didn't have the strength to lift my arm, I wanted to believe him that everything was going to be fine but I had no idea what was going to happen next.

"Edward how long have I been here?" my voice was barely a whisper but he heard me anyway and took my hand in his.

"About a week, Jasper found you just in time. Bella I'm so sorry I didn't go into my office with Tanya nor was I in any way a willing participant in what happened in there. I had too much to drink and went to sleep it off the next thing I knew Jasper was yelling and hitting me and I woke up.

He told me what you walked in and saw and baby I'm so sorry but I never knew what was happening, but Bella how could you think I'd ever willingly let that whore touch me intentionally?"

I looked at him and sighed I didn't know what to think or what to say. I knew he was right, I should have known that he would never intentionally let Tanya or any other woman touch him. He'd never even looked at another woman in my presence.

But Tanya wasn't just some other woman and despite Edward trying to fob her off as some old acquaintance I knew better. I wanted to know if he was going to finally be honest about their past relationship.

"Edward, have you ever had a sexual relationship with Tanya? You know in the past before I met you."

I studied his face waiting for any sign that would give me the answer I sought if he decided not to answer. I watched as the colour drained from his face and the pain flash in his eyes and I knew I had my answer.

Hot angry tears spilled down my cheeks, I could feel Edward's hands shaking in mine I couldn't meet his gaze though I could feel it burning me with its intensity. I waited for him to speak.

"Yes, we got together in our final year at high school and broke up midway through our second year at varsity. Tanya wanted too get married and have children but I refused and eventually broke up with her.

She didn't cope very well when he ended it and went a little loco and started stalking me until her sister's intervened and convinced her to go to Europe. "

I stared at him in disbelief, I couldn't believe what I was hearing, Edward had been in a relationship with Tanya for two years, she had been his first serious girlfriend and he had led me to believe they were mere acquaintances.

"Why did you not tell me this? You made me think you were acquaintances through your parents." I felt hurt and betrayed but a part of me knew that I wasn't being fair. I'd hidden a drug addiction from him and he stood by me with unwavering loyalty.

"Because I didn't want you to think she ever meant anything to me, she didn't then and she certainly doesn't now." I had never heard Edward speak with such hatred in his voice, the severity of his tone made me shiver.

"Bella, how could you turn back to drugs, why would you take a cocktail of heroin and cocaine, were you trying to kill yourself?"

I looked at him defensively, "No I wasn't trying to kill myself. How could you ask such a thing?"

"Well I can't understand how you'd risk your life like that… risk leaving our sons with no mother, risk leaving me…?" I could see the pain and anguish I had put him through etched clearly into his features and a wave of guilt and shame washed over me.

I struggled to find my voice, I didn't know how to start explaining myself but I tried, "I don't think I was consciously aware of what I was doing my subconscious just took over and convinced me it was what I needed to deal with the pain, I never even thought for a second that I might die I just wanted to wipe the image of you and Tanya from my mind.

I remember going to my room and then…nothing."

Edward looked at me, a frown creasing his forehead, "Bella do you need to go back to rehab a refresher course in why drugs aren't a coping mechanism? Maybe a week or two to rest and recuperate would be good for you."

Anger and fear fought for dominance, I could feel Anger taking over and my eyes narrowed, "I don't need to go back to rehab Edward, I need you too promise me you're never going to go near that slut again. No more brunches at your parents place with her and her vile parents, no more work ventures, if I hear you have so much as been on the same street as the woman I swear it will be over between us."

Pain and anger shot across his face but he nodded, "I can easily promise you that I will never go near her again, but Bella you have to promise me you will never touch drugs again because if you do I'm going to take the kids and leave you."

"I promise Edward, I swear on everything I hold sacred that I will never touch drugs again."

~~~~XXXX~~~~

I had to spend the week in the hospital, I was anxious to get home and see my sons, Edward and I had decided not to bring them to the hospital; I didn't want them to see me like this. I'd had no end of visits from my family, James and Victoria were at the hospital nearly as much as Edward, as were Alice and Rose.

Esme was conspicuous by her absence at the hospital and I guessed she was probably very upset with me at the moment. I wanted to ask Edward about it but I felt ashamed, so I waited for Carlisle to make one of his many daily visits.

While Esme was avoiding me Carlisle had almost taken me under his wing, I wondered if this was just the type of compassion he showed for all his patients or if he was going the extra mile for me, what ever his reason for doing it I was extremely grateful to have him to talk to. He always timed his visits to when Edward had left the hospital for a few hours and I found I was telling him things I hadn't even shared with Edward.

As a Doctor Carlisle had dealt with addiction before and he understood that recovery was an ongoing process and that it was easy to slip back into old habits as a coping mechanism, we talked at length about my reactions to what I'd seen that night between Tanya and Edward and how it had affected me. Though I understood that Edward had no active part in what happened that night I was having trouble ridding my mind of the image.

I smiled brightly when Carlisle entered my room carrying to takeaway coffee cups, he handed one to me and leant over to kiss my cheek, "how are you today Bella?" He took the seat usually occupied by Edward and smiled at me encouragingly.

"I'm doing alright I guess. Carlisle is Esme angry with me?" I blurted the words out without consciously wanting to do so. I studied his face for a reaction, I wanted to know if he was concealing anything but as I should have known Carlisle answered my question directly.

"I wouldn't say she's angry Bella, she is just struggling to understand why you would take such an extreme course of action, and you need to remember that Esme has no idea of your past history so your actions don't make sense to her. I know Edward has tried to talk her around but it is hard for him because he wants to make his mother understand but he won't break your confidence." He gave me a kind smile as I digested what he had said.

"Is it causing tension between them?" He met my gaze evenly.

"Yes a little bit. " Guilt clawed at my insides and although I had just almost died I craved drugs to escape. As if Carlisle could read my mind he reached out and clasped my hand,

"You can't keep thinking you can escape reality Bella instead of looking for a way out of your pain you need to embrace it and not let it consume you. Maybe you could consider letting Edward explain your history to Esme, it may help her to understand."

"Do you think that will help?" I didn't bother to wipe the tears from my eyes I knew more would follow.

"It may do, at least Esme would have all the facts and be able to make an informed decision." I dropped my gaze and stared at my hands which I had seemed to taken to rubbing together in nervous tension.

"I will talk to Edward about it later, Carlisle can I go home tomorrow? I miss my sons." I looked at him pleadingly and I could see the conflict in his eyes.

"Bella you are still in a very fragile emotional state, I…" I felt my heart sinking and quickly cut Carlisle off.

"Please Carlisle, I need to get out of here this place is bringing me down. I promise I will start going to meetings five days a week and I will increase my counselling to twice a month, please say I can go home."

Carlisle watched me intently for a moment before sighing deeply, "Ok Bella, I will release you tomorrow on the condition that you start going to meetings five days a week, counselling three times a month, and I would like you to meet me for coffee once a week. I am going to be monitoring your progress closely Bella and I want you to promise me that you will call me anytime day or night if you feel like your slipping again."

"I promise Carlisle and thank you so much for helping me you have no idea what your support means to me."

"You're welcome Bella; I'm always here for you, please remember that." I gave him a warm smile and we finished our coffees in silence. I couldn't believe how much my mood had picked up at the prospect of going home tomorrow.

~~~~XXXX~~~~

James and Victoria were waiting with the children in the garden when Edward pulled into the driveway, my boys came tearing around the corner when they heard the car, they were all smiling and waving at me and I blew them a kiss through the window. Taj had my door open as soon as Edward cut the engine and was climbing into my lap.

"Mum, you're home, I missed you, promise you won't get sick again, I don't like it when your not home with us."

I hugged him tightly as I tried to fight back my tears, "I missed you to son and I promise I'll take better care of myself." It was only now that I had my son back in my arms that I fully realised what I almost lost and I felt a wave of shame and sadness wash over me.

Seeing my boys happy faces doubled my resolve to beat this insidious addiction and never let them or Edward down again.

Rose and Emmett turned up just as we were having a coffee Emmett came straight to my side and gave me a rib crushing hug he leaned in and whispered in my ear, "Promise me you'll never scare me like that again sis, and I promise you I'm giving up drugs for good."

"I promise Emm, and you just do what ever you feel is right for you," I was happy to see that Emmett was treating me no different to how he always did, but that was the best thing about Emmett he had an amazing ability to see the good side to everything and he certainly didn't hold a grudge or judge others.

As much as I noticed Esme's absent I also noticed that Jasper seemed to be avoiding me, I was desperate to get him alone so I could thank him for saving my life but he resisted all my attempts to talk to him alone. I did notice that Jasper seemed to be redirecting all his time and energy into his relationship with Alice and she looked the happiest I'd ever seen her look.

While I missed Jasper's friendship I was happy to see that he had let go of his feelings for me and had redoubled his efforts into his relationship with both Alice and Edward. Edward had finally let go of the last of his resentment toward his brother, he was so grateful to Jasper for saving my life that their bond seemed to triple in strength and they became extremely close.

Rose and Emmett took our sons back to their place for the afternoon so they could hang out with their cousins, I allowed them to go even though I didn't want to let them out of my sight I had spent enough time away from them. I decided to take the opportunity to talk to Edward about Esme. I hated knowing I was a source of tension between them.

"Edward…"

"Hmm…" Edward pulled his eyes from the newspaper and looked at me with a smile.

"I know that Esme is angry at me and that things aren't good between you and for that I feel hideously guilty. I don't want you to defend me to your mum, she has every right to be angry at me and I will work to make things right with her."

Edward's forehead creased in a frown but I noticed a touch of sadness in his eyes, my heart throbbed painfully with the guilt of knowing what I had put him through, not just with what happened with my relapse but the whole sorry saga of my addiction.

"Bella sweetheart, I don't want you to worry about Esme, she and I will be fine and she'll come around. All I want is for you to concentrate on getting yourself better love; I don't want you to get unnecessarily stressed."

"Edward, please Iet me talk to Esme I don't want there to be tension between her and I or between you two." I looked at him pleadingly and he relented with a sigh.

"You can talk with her if you wish. Are you planning on telling her about your past?" He watched me intently as he waited for me to speak.

"Yes, if it helps her to understand and makes thing right between the two of you. I'm prepared for her to not forgive me Edward but I will not let your relationship with your mum suffer."

Rose returned my sons after she'd fed the dinner and bathed them; Edward got them for ready for bed. I spent extra time in each of my son's rooms talking to them about what they did when I was sick in hospital and reassuring them that I was ok now and they didn't have to worry about me.

I met Edward in the hallway and eagerly agreed to his suggestion that we have an early night, he was waiting in bed for me when I returned from the shower I slid in between the sheet and into his arms. His lips sought mine and I responded eagerly to his kiss and to his caress, I slid my hand under the sheet and ghosted it along his stomach. I could feel him tremble under my touch.

As my fingers curled around his cock, the image of Tanya touching Edward sprang into my mind and turned everything black. I let go of Edward and stopped responding to his touch.

Edward noticed my change of mood and pulled his lips from mine his eyes searching mine, "what's wrong Bella?"

"I…I…can't do this Edward." I saw the pain my words caused him and hated myself for it but I couldn't bring myself to carry on.

Edward let out a small sigh and leaned back against his pillow, "its ok Bella, I'll wait until you're ready." My self loathing intensified and I couldn't bear to look at Edward for another second.

I turned my back on him and pulled the covers up around me, he slid closer to me and pressed himself against my spine, "I love you Bella…forever…"

I closed my eyes and fought to keep myself together, "I love you too Edward."

I concentrated on listening to his breathing and after a while it became slow and steady and I knew he was finally asleep. I hadn't expected to react like that, I knew what happened wasn't Edward's fault but the images were still so clear in my mind it was like I was watching them again in person.

I tried to cut myself a little slack, it was probably normal to react like that the first time after a traumatic shock, I was sure that my mind would let it go after a week or two and things would get back to normal. I told myself a few more times and I sighed in relief when my eyelids finally grew heavy and drooped shut.

I woke early just as the first rays of the sun were making an appearance on the horizon; Edward was still pressed against me his arm draped over my waist. I carefully moved his arm and slipped out of bed. Edward readjusted his position, he turned from side to side and I could see the look of agitation on his face.

I took a step toward the door and froze when I heard Edward call out, "Where are you Bella? Please don't leave me." His voice was a myriad of pain and the sound of it cut through my flesh and bone like knives.

I slid back into bed and pressed my body against his, "It's alright baby I'm here and I won't leave you. I love you Edward, forever."

He wrapped his arms around me so tightly it was almost painful, "promise me Bella promise me you'll always be mine."

"I promise Edward…" his hands fisted my hair and he pulled my face to his.

I looked into his eyes and saw the depth of his love there, but I also saw the pain my rejection caused him and guilt and self loathing warred for dominance over my emotions, though I wasn't ready to be intimate with Edward yet I knew I couldn't reject him again so when he crushed his lips to mine I responded to him willingly.

Tears sprung to my eyes as an internal battle raged within me, my body was willing and responding to Edward's every touch while my mind was flooded with the image of Tanya touching Edward. I kept pushing the image from my mind but it fought just as hard to stay and I could feel the hot tears spill from my eyes.

Edward's face was buried in my neck his lips roaming over my soft creamy flesh caused a soft moan to escape me. His lips brushed my ear, his warm breath tickling the soft pink shell, "I love you Bella, every fibre of my being my heart and soul are yours now and forever…Only for you…"

His words help to banish the image of Tanya from my mind and I found that the more he told me that I was the only one for him the more I relaxed, I concentrated on his words and the way he was making my body feel and all to soon his name was falling from my lips as my body shuddered beneath his.

I gripped him tightly as he continued to thrust into me, I whispered my love and commitment to him, he groaned softly at my words, his eyes fluttered closed and he called my name breathlessly as his body convulsed violently above me. I continued to cling to him as his convulsions subsided; his eyes snapped open and searched mine.

I gasped silently as I stared into those sparkling emerald green orbs, the depth of Edward's love was so evident there that I allowed myself to drown in their fathomless depths and I was overwhelmed by the feelings of love I had for him. He was everything to me and I would let nothing come between us…

I left Edward with the boys and headed to Esme's I knew Carlisle had to work today so she would be there alone, I knocked on the door and waited for her to answer it instead of just walking in like I would have once done. Esme's face visibly fell when she opened the door and I knew in an instant that she wasn't going to forgive, but I had to try for Edward and the boy's sake.

I hitched a smile on my face and looked at Esme, "Hi Esme I was wondering if I could talk to you for a few minutes?" She never returned my smile or say anything, she just moved from the doorway so I could come inside.

I took a seat at the kitchen counter and watched Esme pour two mugs of coffee from the pot, she handed me mine without a word and took a seat opposite me. I took a small sip and looked at her evenly.

"Esme, I understand you're upset with me about what happened and I want you to know that I am truly sorry if I hurt you. There are things you don't know about my past and I hope by explaining it to you will see what caused me to act so drastically."

She said nothing but nodded for me to continue.

"Esme I used to be addicted to Methamphetamines, I spent a month in a rehab centre in Hawaii it was there that I conceived my children. I hadn't touched drugs from the time I went into the programme until the night I found Edward with Tanya. I never made a conscious decision to take drugs that night my body just decided it was what I needed as a coping mechanism. I would never do anything to intentionally hurt my family."

"You were treated of addiction in a rehabilitation centre?" Esme voice was barely more than a whisper and I could tell by the look on her face she was horrified, "Why did Edward never tell me this?"

"Because I asked him not too, I was embarrassed and ashamed and I didn't want you to think badly of me." I thought honesty was probably the best way to go right now.

"Well Bella to be honest I wish Edward had told me this sooner as I would encouraged him to end his involvement with you straight away before you had the chance to destroy this family." I felt like I'd been slapped when I registered Esme's words.

"Esme, I made a mistake, one I have learnt a valuable lesson from and I will never do anything to hurt Edward and my sons again."

"You say that now Bella but what happens the next time you can't cope? Your actions that night were extremely selfish and it obviously never occurred to you that you could have left your children motherless. They should have been your number priority but they weren't were they? Your total disregard for your children's feeling shows how incompetent you are as a Mother Bella."

"Esme that's not fair." I was starting to feel angry with her even though I knew she had valid concerns to the welfare of her grandchildren.

"Oh I think it's very fair Isabella and now I know that this was not just a one off bad choice I am going to talk to Carlisle about seeking custody of my Grandson's. I will never allow you to do anything to hurt them again."

I sat there in shock my body began to tremble and my hands shook so violently that I slopped my coffee on the bench, "Esme there's no need to do that, I have never put my children in danger and I never would and neither Edward nor I would ever allow you to take our boys. I understand if you can't forgive me Esme but neither Edward nor our Sons deserve that."

I was so hurt and angry with Esme I stood up quickly and headed for the door before she had time to respond, once I was outside in the morning son I burst into tears. I was expecting Esme not to understand but I had known idea she would try to take my children away. I knew she had a good chance of winning custody of them if she decided to seriously go for it and I knew Carlisle was my only chance of stopping her.

I dried my eyes as I walked through the front door, I by passed the kitchen where I could hear Edward talking with Taj and headed straight for my room, I climbed under the covers and let my grief consume me once more.

I had only been in bed for about five minutes when I heard Edward footsteps on the stairs; he climbed in next to me and pulled me into his arms, "What happened with Esme love?"

I laid my head against his chest and continued to sob uncontrollably, I had no intention of telling him about what Esme had said I knew he'd go off the deep end and confront her, thus deepening the rift and indeed destroying his family. I needed to speak with Carlisle and get his assurance that he would stop Esme from taking the children.

Edward ran his fingers through my hair as I ruined his shirt with my salty tears, "Bella what did Esme say that upset you so much?"

I pulled my face from his chest and looked into his eyes, "she just said she didn't think she could forgive me, I'm so sorry Edward I never once thought about the repercussions that my actions would have on those around me I truly am a selfish person."

"Is that what she said Bella, that you were selfish?" Edward's eyes darken as he watched my face.

I shrugged my shoulders, "it doesn't matter anyway."

~~~~XXXX~~~~

**Edward's POV**

From the moment Bella had returned from her visit with Esme I knew things had gone badly, Bella was devastated when she got home and my heart sank went I entered our room and found her sobbing uncontrollably.

I tried to coax out of her what Esme had said but she just put up the walls and refused to let me in, I decided not to press the issue with her until she was ready to share with me willingly but as time wore on she just withdrew deeper into herself. In the past six months she had slipped further into depression and when she started to refuse to get out of bed or actively participate in any part of mine or the children's lives my frustration peaked and I went to see Esme again.

Esme refused to tell me what she had said to Bella and I felt my control slip even further, and went to find Carlisle. I found him in his study and his face dropped when I dropped into the chair opposite him and broke down in tears.

"Dad you have to help me, I don't know how to help Bella, neither she nor Esme will tell me what was said but what ever it was has destroyed the last bit of confidence Bella had." I looked up at Carlisle pleadingly; I knew Esme would have confided in him.

Carlisle sighed deeply and ran his hands over his face before meeting my gaze, "Your Mother told Bella she couldn't forgive her and that she was going to seek custody of the boys."

"SHE FUCKEN DID WHAT?" I exploded, rage at my Mother consumed me and for the first time in my life I wanted nothing more than to throttle Esme.

"Calm down son, I talked Esme out of that course of action. She just needs time, I'm continually trying to get her to understand and I'm sure that she'll come around."

"Yeah well in the mean time Bella is slipping further beyond my reach. I'm sorry Dad but if it comes to choice then I choose Bella and I'm going to do what ever it takes to get my wife back and Esme better learn to forgive real quick if she knows what's good for her."

"Now Edward that's your mother you're talking about." Carlisle gazed at me sternly.

"Yeah well I'm sorry Dad but Bella will always be my top priority." I gave him a small smile as I stood up. I didn't bother to seek out Esme and say goodbye before I made my way home.

I was surprised and heartened when I rounded the corner and saw Bella had gotten herself out of bed and was sitting on the deck talking to the boys, she looked up when she heard me and a small smile played on her lips. Her eyes had a spark of life to them that I hadn't seen in months and hope burgeoned in my chest.

I had made my decision on what I was going to do for Bella and our sons to knit our family back together and it was with increasing excitement that I approached the table and hugged her tightly.

"Bella love; are you feeling better today?"

"Yes I am actually. I thought I'd come out and enjoy the sunshine."

"Well sweetheart I've got some news I'm sure will cheer you up further," I pulled my face from her neck and gazed into her eyes, "How would you feel about moving to Tuscany? We could enrol the boys in the local school and just chill out as a family for awhile." I watched in amazement as her eyes brightened perceptibly and a wide smile graced her beautiful face.

"Oh Edward do you really mean it, I would love to go back to Tuscany, when can we leave?"

"As soon as our bags are packed," the hope that had sprung up in my chest exploded inside me for the first time in more than six months I caught a glimmer of the girl I worshipped in all her divine glory.

Bella took my hand and squeezed it gently and I felt the constriction in my chest lessen and I knew we'd get over this final hurdle and we would finally get the happy ever after we deserved.  
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**A/N: Please take the time to review this chapter/story it makes all the months of blood sweat** **and tears worth it, thanks:)**


	52. Chapter 52 Vanilla Skies

**A/N: Thank you to those of you who reviewed the last chapter your comments were much appreciated:) and I dedicate this chapter to you... We have finally reached the very end of the roller coaster ride that was triplets. And as much as it is a struggle to go against my love of chaos and disorder, I present to you your HAPPY EVER AFTER....**

**DISCLAIMER: You know the Drill....  
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**Vanilla Skies…**

**Edward's POV…**

It had been seven months since Bella and I had packed up the kids and moved to our Tuscan farmhouse, from the minute we arrived I knew I had made the right decision, Bella had begun to visibly relax from the moment we pulled into the tree lined driveway. The next few months saw Bella rapidly become her old self again something I celebrated daily by doing something special for her, and today was no exception.

I waited for Bella to walk the children to school, something we did every day, before putting today's plan into action. I packed the picnic basket full of Bella's favourite foods and a large bottle of her favourite pineapple Juice, grabbed a large cotton blanket and headed for the ancient olive tree growing amongst the fields of poppies adjacent to our farmhouse. I laid out the blanket out and set down the basket and headed back to the house to wait for Bella.

I was overwhelmed by a wave of love and desire when I saw her appear on the driveway, wearing a simple white cotton sundress, her gorgeous red hair spilling down over her bare shoulders a bunch of brightly hued flowers in her hand. Her face broke into a breath taking smile and she wrapped her arms around me as she reached me, I placed a kiss on her full lips and my desire for her was fuelled when her lips parted and her soft tongue sought mine.

I scooped her into my arms and relished at the sound of her giggle as I carried her around the side of the house and into the poppy strewn meadow, her face stayed buried in my neck, her lips and tongue running over the whiskered skin of my throat and I was assaulted by the smell of her cinnamon scented hair.

When we reached the shade of the olive tree I let her legs slide to the ground as my hands ghosted down over her hips stopping when they met the hem of her dress, I curled my fingers around the soft material and pulled it up over her head, I groaned in appreciation at the sight that met me and my all ready hard cock throbbed painfully. Bella's normally translucent skin carried a sun kissed glow that made the white crocheted string bikini she wore even more prominent in contrast.

I disregarded the dress in my hands and let them return to Bella's body, her soft pink nipples teased me through the loosely weaved fabric, I tugged at the strings holding the flimsy fabric top together and sighed in satisfaction as it fell to the ground leaving Bella's succulent full breasts unobstructed.

One hand snaked around her waist pulling her closer as my other cupped her breast lifting it toward my eager mouth, the soft moan that escaped her lips as I sucked her soft pink nipple between my lips caused another wave of molten lust to wash over me and my desperation to consume Bella was making me lightheaded.

I sunk to my knees kissing a trail of feather light kisses across her stomach stopping where the string to her bikini bottoms rested in a cute little bow against her hip, I took the small cotton tie between my teeth and tugged, I smiled against her skin as I watched the tiny bow de knot before my eyes. I began to trail kisses across her pelvis dipping to brush my lips across the tiny patch of silky black hair that had appeared as the flimsy material left contact with her skin.

Bella and I sighed in unison when her pants completely parted company with her body leaving her beautiful sex and the delights it held exposed for me. My lips returned to kiss the small patch of hair on her otherwise hairless pussy and I smiled when she leaned back against the aged tree trunk and let her hands tangle through my hair.

I slid my hand along her shin twisting my hand to cup the back of her kneeI hitched her leg over my shoulder, my hand continued its journey up her thigh until it met her glistening sex, the sight of it made my mouth fill with saliva and I swallowed loudly as my fingers drew back her slick plump lips and my tongue slid along her soft folds to her exposed clit.

I drew a lazy circle over it with my tongue before sucking the swollen little bud between my teeth and nuzzled it gently, I was rewarded with a delicious sounding groan from Bella and I tugged a bit harder causing her fingers to tighten their grip in my hair. I slid a finger into her wet core letting her coat it with her intoxicating essence before bringing my glistening finger across my nostrils and inhaling the mouth watering scent.

I returned my fingers to her warmth, pumping and twisting them as my tongue continued to lick and suck her beautiful clit. I knew Bella's orgasm was rapidly approaching when her hands detangled themselves from my hair and gripped the aged bark of the tree trunk; I upped the tempo of my ministrations. Bella's fingers dug deeper into the bark causing chunks of the ancient wood to crumble beneath her touch.

I groaned against her sex as her inner muscles clamped around my fingers and her warm fluid gushed forth, her voice was like music to my ears as it rang out strong and clear.

"Oh…God Edward…Only you…mine… forever…" I felt a rush of love for my goddess when I heard those magical words fall from her lips; she wanted me to be hers forever just like I wanted her to be mine.

I was not expecting it, when the leg supporting Bella buckled and she collapsed falling forward pushing me backward as she handed on top of her, her peals of sweet laughter echoed around us and my heart expanded with happiness at how quickly things were becoming perfect for us.

My attention was brought back to Bella when I felt her tugging roughly at my T-shirt, I helped her shed my clothes and couldn't help but moan at the feeling of her silky flesh against my own, her lips sought mine and I let her take control of the tempo of the kiss while I concentrated on the sensations. When my need to be inside her became too much I gently rolled us and slid into her effortlessly.

Bella's hands were clasped behind my head keeping me close to her as I thrust into her rhythmically; she kept up a constant stream of promises and words of commitment to me in my ear. The sound of her sultry voice combined with her promises to be mine forever were enough to cause my body to go into overdrive and my thrusts soon became frenzied and no matter how deeply I penetrated my goddess I wasn't nearly as close to her as I wanted to be.

Her legs tightened their grip on me urging me deeper, closer to her heaven, my body wanted nothing more than to melt into hers, to sink beneath skin and bone to her very core and bath in the light of her soul.

When she asked me to tell her that I would be hers forever, I lost myself in her breathless whisper, "Bella…I will only ever be yours…I will forever be a slave to your love my goddess…"

"Thank you Edward…" Those three words sent the intensity of my desire for her to unparalleled levels and her name echoed in my head as it fell from my lips, I shuddered uncontrollably above her as I spilt my hot seed into her heaven

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The weeks after the meadow scene were some of the happiest days of my life; Bella had a new found confidence and inner serenity about her that made her sexier than she had ever been. I had begun to notice subtle changes in her body shape though I never mentioned anything to her, her hips were becoming slightly more rounded and her breasts were fuller.

I was pretty sure I knew the cause of the changes though I never shared my suspicions with Bella until she complained about not being able to fit into her jeans, I flashed her, her favourite smile, "Bella sweetheart I'm pretty sure you're pregnant though I 'm sure you already know that."

She smirked at me her chocolate eyes sparkling, "yeah I know, I was just waiting to see how long it would take you to notice." I grabbed her around the waist and guided her onto the bed next to me I laid her back and placed a trail of kisses against her slightly protruding stomach.

"Hello my pretty baby I can't wait to meet you," I murmured against her stomach.

We waited a few weeks before visiting the doctor to confirm what we were sure of, what neither of us were expecting was the doctor to inform us we were the expectant parents of another set triplets. It took a few weeks after that for the shock to wear off and before long Bella and I were both looking forward to the challenge.

It was with some trepidation I rung Esme and Carlisle and let them know our news, there had been some defrosting in Esme and Bella's relationship but things were not like they used to be. However; when I told Esme she was truly happy for us both and immediately asked to speak with Bella.

The conversation must have gone well because I heard Bella telling Esme that she looked forward to seeing her too. The next few months went by in a haze of sporadic morning sickness and redecorating to accommodate our impending arrivals.

Our whole family gathered at our Tuscan farmhouse in the weeks before the birth and by the time Bella went into labour her and Esme were once again as close as they had ever been.

Not even the birth of our sons could top the rapturous joy we felt at the birth of our daughters, first into the world was Ella Rose followed seven minutes later by Ava Marie then seven later by Adele Scarlett.

We spent the next five years in Tuscany neither of us in any hurry to give up our cherished life style. However we finally relented to the years of mounting pressure from both Victoria and Esme, who were both complaining how they were missing out on precious time with their grandchildren.

We slipped back into life in the Hamptons easily and after all the trials and tribulations that we had been through to get to this point, we had finally gotten our happy ever after…  
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**A/N: Well I hope you enjoyed that ending enough to leave me a review...Please do:)... I have another story nearly ready to publish if you wish to follow it add me your alerts list... And THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING TRIPLETS...**


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